Sitting at the Gate

A High Price for Freedom

2011-07-04T10:09:00.008-05:00

This morning (4th of July, 2011) I woke up to a very precious reality. I am twice a free man.

First, thanks to those who have bravely gone before me to defend my individual liberties, I am privileged to be an American citizen living in a free country. God bless the USA! Second, because I am a Christian (having accepted God's free gift of salvation through the precious blood of Jesus Christ), I also enjoy and experience the joy and promise of being forever spiritually free. Praise God for that as well!

I am truly celebrating today because of a high price for freedom paid for me by others.

Thank God for our Founding Fathers and many brave souls who took their stands for freedom, and then declared independence from the ugly tyranny of a remote English monarchy 235 years ago! Thank God for the first century Church (several of them martyred), who carried the Gospel of Christ to all the world, declaring freedom from the tyranny of sin and telling people everywhere that they no longer needed to be separated from God!

But, if history teaches us anything, it teaches us that precious freedoms (both political and spiritual) should not be taken for granted. What we enjoy today may not be there tomorrow if we don't fight to keep it. There are enemies out there trying to steal yours and my freedoms each and every day of our lives. We must do all that we can to actively protect them because there is a high price for freedom.

The words attributed to one of the founders of our nation, Patrick Henry, as well as those penned by the Apostle Paul in a letter to first century Galatian Christians, seemed particularly relevant to me at this point:

"Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, Give me Liberty, or give me Death!" - Patrick Henry

"Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you." Galatians 5:1

Notice the references made to life and death, as well as "chains" and "slavery" in these quotes? In the founder's and the apostle's mind, the opposite of freedom was death and/or bondage and indentured servitude to either an overbearing dictator/monarchy, or to sin. In other words, without freedom, there is no life and no independence. Enemies will always attempt to place chains on you and me and/or attempt to entice you and me into the bondage of slavery. We need to daily take our stands against these undesirable conditions.

Yes, there is a high price for freedom for those of us who enjoy it. There is also an obligation on the part of both American citizens, as well as followers of Christ, to rise up and protect it, too. But, unfortunately many of us will rather use our precious independence and freedoms just to do whatever we want, thus destroying them. Shame on us when that is what we do.

Once again, the words penned by the Apostle Paul to the first century Galatian Christians seemed very appropriate for me to read/hear this morning:

"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?" Galatians 5:13-15

May we all take these words to heart as we celebrate the 4th of July and/or our freedom in Christ, remembering that there is a high price for freedom.

How the body works

2011-03-27T21:15:00.003-05:00

This past Friday, my wife, Ellen, and I were planning to meet some good friends for dinner at 5:30 p.m., and then see a movie together after that. We were really looking forward to it! However, our plans changed in a moment when we received an urgent phone call from a friend before we left our house, a little after 5 p.m.

Our friend was very distraught because her fiance had stopped breathing. She had already called 911 for help. She was reaching out to us for additional support and prayer. Her fiance wasn't responding to the treatment he was receiving. She was scared, really scared! We headed out the door immediately, calling our other friends to tell them we needed to make a change in our plans for the evening.

Sadly, our friend's fiance did not survive a massive heart attack he experienced. His life ended suddenly, and very unexpectedly. A tragic death. We are finding it very hard to comprehend.

Ever since that night, I have been very contemplative about this whole episode, earnestly praying for our friend (and her son) who have now lost someone very dear to them. As I have been reflecting on the events we experienced Friday night, I couldn't help but think about how the body works. When disease or pain strikes, our human body responds quickly.

I'm not a doctor or an immunologist, but here's my limited understanding of how the body works.

For our immune system to work, two things must happen. First, our body must recognize that it has been invaded, either by pathogens or toxins, or by some other outside threat. Second, the immune response must be activated quickly, before the invaders destroy many body tissue cells. There's also a lot of other reactions our human bodies generate, including the proper interaction of non-specific and specific defenses. The nonspecific defenses, like on our skin, do not identify the antigen (a substance capable of stimulating an immune response or reaction) that is attacking or potentially attacking the body; instead, these defenses simply react to the presence of what it identifies as something foreign. Often, the nonspecific defenses effectively destroy microorganisms. But, if these defenses prove ineffective, then the microorganisms manage to infect our tissues, and the specific defenses go into action. The specific defenses function by detecting the antigen in question and mounting a response that targets it for destruction.

That's a somewhat scientific explanation for how the body works. So, what does that have to do anything previously written?

Well, just as the human body works to protect us from diseases and pain, I believe the body of Christ responds similarly. As a matter of fact, I am a witness to how this transpired with our friend on Friday night. Let me explain.

On our way out of our driveway, we began calling several of our Christian friends who were also friends of our friend who was experiencing the crisis, imploring them to begin praying immediately for the whole situation. The body of Christ was beginning to recognize that something unwanted/unexpected had invaded our friend's life, and that she was in desperate need of prayer. Next, we quickly activated a plan to help navigate the details of the situation. We volunteered to go get our friend's son (who had arrived at his work place a short time ago) and take him to the hospital where our friend's fiance was being transported. Likewise, we asked our good friends (who we were supposed to be having dinner with) to head straight to the hospital, telling them that we would meet them there. Within the hour, twelve other friends assembled at the hospital and were there to comfort our friend and her son when they received the news that her fiance was gone. Before the night was over, more than twenty-five of us gathered at a friend's home to provide comfort and to our friend, praying for her, and asking God to ease her pain and bring her comfort. Several wonderful Christian friends volunteered to spend the night with our friend and her son, helping them cope with the shock and sadness of the situation when disbelief and pain were intense.

While none of us were able to alter the outcome of the sad situation with our presence and/or earnest prayers, I am so grateful to God that He gave us such a vivid picture of how the body works. The body of Christ, that is. It really is a beautiful thing...

We still have questions and don't completely understand why. We probably never will be able to comprehend why God in His infinite wisdom allowed this tragedy to happen, at least not this side of heaven. But, one important lesson I learned in the whole situation is this: Be grateful if you are surrounded by other Christian friends; in your time of need, the body of Christ will be there for you. Praise God for the body of Christ!

That's how the body works.

He still holds her hand...

2011-01-30T16:50:00.005-06:00

I just returned from a quick get-away trip with my wife, Ellen, to Sun City, Arizona. We were there visiting my parents for a couple of days. They live at this oasis "in the desert" from November through March to get away from the bitter cold and endless piles of snow in Iowa during these months. My Mom just turned 83 on January 7th (praise the Lord), so we were doing a bit of a belated birthday celebration for her. Plus, selfishly for Ellen and me, it's just a really great place to visit. Mom and Dad's home is right on the Union Hills golf course. Thus, the view out their back door (and from their patio) is beautiful, gazing over lush green grass to a small lake with fountains, with picturesque Arizona mountains off in the distance. We were blessed with some fantastic weather while we were there, too. Loved it!

But, aside from the setting, I just have to brag on my Dad.

Over the three days we were there, we went out for breakfast, lunch and dinner several times. We also did some miscellaneous shopping and ran a few errands. Consequently, there was a lot of getting in and out of their car, and a bunch of walking to and from their car to the restaurants/stores we visited. While we were doing that, I couldn't help but notice over and over again that after 62+ years of marriage, he still holds her hand...

Wow. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful that is to see my Dad holding my Mom's hand. I really want to be like my Dad when I grow up.

He loves my Mom so much! He takes really great care of her, too. Mom has Parkinson's disease and it is begining to slow her down a bit more and more every year. She's not as steady on her feet as she once was. She gets a little bit flustered/confused at times because she is not as smooth in doing the things she used to do so effortlessly. But, there's my Dad, giving her a steady hand, and telling her by his actions and loving touch that he'll take good care of her. That she doesn't need to worry about a thing. That he's going to take care of her and protect her no matter what.

What's really cool is that Dad would be doing this even if she didn't have Parkinson's. She's his wife, and that's what a loving husband does for his wife. He gives her a hand. He tells her with his actions and loving touches that he'll take good care of her. A husband's desire is to convince his wife that she doesn't need to worry about a thing. He will take care of her no matter what.

Lately, Ellen and I have been caught "holding hands" on our way in to church, or in a few other relatively public situations/events. People have remarked that we are "cute" to do that and that it seems like we are really in love with each other.

I love holding my wife's hand. We are in love with each other. In my way of thinking, that's what married people are supposed to do. Why is it that a husband holding his wife's hand seems so unusual these days? Whatever happened to romance and chivalry?

I want to honor my Dad's love for his wife (my Mom) with this post. I want to declare to everyone reading this (especially family members) that this is what I plan to do. I hope to continue to follow my Dad's example for many, many years to come. Someday, I want my sons (and daughter) to remark when we have been married as long as my parents (hopefully!), he still holds her hand...

Sometimes it is the little things, the simpler things, that are most important in this life.

Thanks for giving me such a great example/model to follow, Dad! I love you.

Dragged, kicking and screaming...

2011-01-16T12:22:00.005-06:00

I've heard it said that a child's personality (and a lot about how that child will respond to certain situations as an adult) is already evident at age 5 or 6. Kind of makes you realize how critically important those first few years of a child's life are, doesn't it?

I am so grateful to God for my Mom being there to shape my personality and guide my development at an early age. Likewise, I am so glad that my wife, Ellen, was there to actively influence the personalities of our four children in their early years.

(In my humble opinion, the ideal situation for a child is for their mother and father to be the ones to perform this all-important task. It is that critical to their adult life!)

Just the other day, a vivid childhood memory popped into my consciousness. It made me realize that a dominant part of my personality, as well as how I frequently respond to certain life situations as an adult, is probably wrapped up in this early childhood experience.

It was the first day of kindergarten in Ellsworth, Iowa, probably the fall of 1959. My family lived on a farm about three miles outside of this small town of 400+ people. To attend school, I would need to take the bus into town. It must have been a late-morning session of kindergarten as I don't remember my two older sisters being a part of this story. They were probably already at school when this took place.

I have this mental picture in my head of my Mom "escorting" me down the end of our long lane to catch the bus. Actually, I was being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way! It must have been terribly embarrassing and upsetting for my Mom. You see, at four years old (I wouldn't turn 5 for another month) I just wasn't too sure about this whole going to school thing. I wasn't excited about it at all! I kind of liked being safely at home during the day with my Mom. What was she doing, making me go to school, for goodness sake? So, I decided to fight the inevitable.

In spite of being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way down the lane, Mom won the battle. She placed me on that bus, let the bus driver close the door, and off to kindergarten I went. I must have liked it, too, as I don't remember her having to force me to go to kindergarten ever again. Apparently, once I got on that bus, I was O.K. Whatever I had feared so much before hand, didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought after all.

But, I couldn't have been convinced of that when I was being dragged, kicking and screaming down our lane. I was genuinely freaked out!

Fast forward to today.

I still get a little freaked out by new things. I will frequently dread a new adventure and/or resist a change in venue/responsibilities. It's as though I'm reverting back to being dragged, kicking and screaming down that lane outside of Ellsworth, Iowa.

Even 50+ years later, there are remnants of that part of my personality showing up. Fascinating!

Likewise, once I "get on the bus" so to speak, I usually do O.K. with the new adventures or change in venue/responsibilities. I am reflecting back now on a whole lifetime of initial reluctance to lead, of timidness when it comes to participating in big events, and of massive squirming when asked to take on new tasks/responsibilities, etc.

So what? Why is this even worth writing down (or being read?)? I guess here's what I'm learning about myself through this experience:

- My personality was somewhat settled at an early age in life. That's not an excuse; it's just fact.
- I am who I am based on some of the experiences I had early in life. That's really O.K.
- I should not try to be someone I'm not. Others can seeminly tackle the big stuff and keep begging for more. Others can get frustrated when new adventures and added responsibilities don't come fast enough. Not me. That's just not who I am.
- Sometimes I am required to press on past my fears and hang-ups. Sometimes I just need to take on those new adventures and challenging responsibilities. I must get over my initial reluctance. I just need to buck it up and do it!
- It is always a good idea to ask myself before stepping in to something new, "What's the worst thing that could happen here anyway?"

If you find yourself sometimes being dragged, kicking and screaming into new adventures and/or situations that freak you out, take a hint from me. Just relax. It probably won't be as bad as you think.

Resolutions

2011-01-09T13:20:00.004-06:00

I'm normally not one for making New Year's resolutions...

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for setting achievable goals and striving for improvement in my life.

As a matter of fact, I've already tried to eat better/more healthy since the first of the year. I've already tried to do more reading and reflection to begin and end my days. And, I've already been to the local recreation center to work out/exercise three times in 2011 (which is probably two more times than I did all of last year!). Ugh!

But, really? Do resolutions work?

During a time of reading and reflection one morning this week, I rediscovered a terrific example of some resolutions, and decided to make them mine for 2011. Here they are:

One - Remember every day of 2011 that there is only one God. As a follower of Christ, there just aren't any others. Only one.

Two - Avoid making anything else (man-made or natural) competition for God in my life. Remember every day of 2011 that God wants/deserves my devotion and worship. Don't give what belongs to Him to anything/anyone else.

Three - Resist using God's name in an inappropriate way. Remember throughout 2011 that God's name is holy. That speaking curses (and/or coarse words) is just plain wrong for a follower of Christ.

Four - Dedicate at least one day every week completely to God. Keep that day really special, just for Him! Remember throughout all of 2011 that there will always be more work, important errands and an endless list of tasks to do. As a Christ follower, I need to give one day a week over to God and rest.

Five - Look for ways to respect/love my parents more in 2011. They are not to be more highly regarded than God; no family member deserves more respect/love than God. But, God is pleased when I honor my father and my mother with simple acts of kindness and special favor.

Six - Refrain from killing in 2011. That includes killing with words, killing with looks/glances, and killing with hands, etc. Love other people and speak well of them. Denegrading or bad-mouthing or hurting others is just plain wrong for followers of Christ.

Seven - Go overboard in love for my spouse so that I won't even be tempted to cheat with anyone else. Remember throughout 2011 that God is the one who created marriage, that wonderful relationship between one man and one woman. He expects me to be faithful to the incredible gift of "oneness" He's given to me.

Eight - Resist all temptations to take from others. This includes big and small things. As a follower of Christ, there should not even be a hint or a suggestion of dishonesty when it comes to other people's money or possessions.

Nine - At all times, speak truth about my family, friends and everyone else. If you really don't know all the facts about a situation (and you never will), keep your mouth shut. Don't say unkind things about others. Ever. Words hurt and careless, not well thought out phrases are deadly. All truth in 2011!

Ten - Be content with what I have and refrain from desiring more and more of what someone else has. As a Christ follower, thank God everyday in 2011 for how He's abundantly blessed me and marvel at His goodness in all the things He's allowed me to possess.

Well, those are my resolutions for 2011.

By now, some of you are probably saying, "Wait a minute! Haven't I heard those ten somewhere before?" Yup. You have.

See Exodus 20:2-17 for the original version.

Even though I know I'm not going to be able to keep all of these resolutions in 2011 (because by myself, I just can't), I am asking God to work in me and allow me to make some headway towards these lofty goals and needed improvements in my life.

How about you? What are your resolutions for 2011?

Thanksgiving All Year Long!

2010-11-26T09:50:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving is one of my all-time favorite holidays! I absolutely love spending extra time away from work with my family and friends, as well as enjoying all the delicious foods of this magnificent time of the year! Yum-yum!

But, why do we sometimes relegate thanksgiving to just one day a year? I know that the American version of Thanksgiving originates from the feasts enjoyed by the Pilgrims in Plymouth, Massachusetts, around 1621 or so. They had a bountiful harvest and wanted to celebrate God's goodness to them for it. But, they were simply expressing their gratitude spontaneously and following a pattern of thanksgiving demonstrated by our ancestors down through the ages. There have probably been large thanksgiving feasts around since the beginning of time.

After having such a rich and meaningful Thanksgiving Day yesterday, I believe that we should celebrate thanksgiving all year long! So, in the interest of trying to help all of us do this, I've chosen a "who, what, where, when, why and how" format for your consideration.

Who
First and foremost, God is the One who should be thanked. He is the One who is to be praised, not only for who He is, but also for all He's done (Psalm 100:4). Let your thanksgiving be an intentional act of worship to God all year long!

What
Our thanksgiving should be a constant celebration. It should be an all-out dedication on our part to continual gratefulness. We can express our thanksgiving to God with words (prayers), with songs/singing (praise and worship tunes or hymns), and with a truly authentic gladness of heart for all that God has done all year long!

Where
The great thing about thanksgiving is that you can be grateful to God anywhere and everywhere! You can express your gratitude by yourself, or in a group, or in your church, or in your office, in your car, inside your home or outside your home, too. There are no limitations to where you have to be in order to give thanks to God. All year long you can tell Him how grateful you are no matter where you are at the time.

When
We can experience thanksgiving all the time. Every day of the year. And when we express our thanksgiving, frequently it will be completely involuntary. We won't even know when it is coming. It will be an immediate response to an event/experience in our life (if we let it). Our thanksgiving can and will be contagious and spontaneous, causing others to also give thanks all year long, too!

Why
Thanksgiving usually brings an abundance of peace to us personally, and furthermore contributes to peace for those around us as well (Jeremiah 30:19, II Corinthians 4:15 & 9:11, Ephesians 5:4). We should not be holding back when we are grateful. We should give it all to God because He is so worthy and deserves all of our praise and thanksgiving all year long!

How
Through prayer (I Timothy 2:1). By voicing our gratefulness to others. Through physical acts and dances for joy. By singing and making joyful noises unto the Lord (Psalm 69:30 & 95:2). Through demonstrating to others ways to be grateful. By involuntary expressions of thanksgiving in all circumstances, no matter what they may be (Philippians 4:6, I Timothy 4:4). And through setting an example of thankfulness in our own lives all year long.

So, while you are still enjoying the afterglow of yesterday's glorious Thanksgiving Day celebration with family/friends and great food, why not make a bold commitment to truly celebrate thanksgiving all year long this upcoming year? Or maybe even for the rest of your life?

Every Man is an Island

2010-11-13T18:03:00.002-06:00

You've probably heard the expression "no man is an island." Frankly, I wonder if that's all wrong? I wonder if every man is an island is more like it. Let me explain...

I believe that you and I were created for relationship. I believe that you and I need relationship more than anything else in all the world. I believe that without truly relating to other people in our lives, we become "islands," completely separated from each other, which is not very healthy.

Why then are you and I so prone to times of isolation and broken relationships? Why do we unwittingly create barriers between us or establish "deep waters" that separate ourselves from the very people we should/could be relating to?

Has this been anyone else's experience or is it just me?

Take my important relationship with my wonderful wife, Ellen. She is absolutely one of the most highly relational people I have ever known. Thank God for that! She just thrives on relating to other people and sometimes I am just perplexed by how good she is at it. I really wish I was more like her some days. I really, really do! But instead, there are times when I sense that I am totally clamming up, creating an unwanted barrier between us. Usually I can't even figure out exactly why? Here's this highly relational, wonderful person in my life, and yet I am establishing "deep waters" around me to keep her at bay (so to speak). I don't get it?

And then there's my four children, those supremely important and wonderful offspring God blessed me and Ellen with as a family. I love them more than anything else in all the world, and I would do absolutely anything for any of them (I really, really would!). But, too often I sense that I am once again creating barriers between them and me. And I ask myself, "Why in the world am I doing this?" Here are these terrific young people in my life, and I'm establishing "deep waters" around me, keeping them at bay? What's with that?

How about other people in your life that you have opportunity to relate to? Like your parents, or those that you live around, or those you work with every day, or those you see at your church or school? Ever find yourself holding back from really relating to them? You realize of course that they probably are really great folks who also need relationship as much as you do, right? Why are we sometimes so prone to make "islands" out of ourselves when we were created for relationship?

Well, I have a couple of thoughts on this subject.

Relationships are hard. Relationships require a lot of us. Relationships frequently change. Sometimes we are not as willing as we should/could be to change with them. In an ideal sense, relationships are about us being willing to relate to that other person, not about whether that other person is satisfing my needs/wants/desires.

I also believe that you can only maintain a small number of truly deep and fulfilling relationships. We kid ourselves when we try to relate to hundreds or thousands of people. It just doesn't work. Large numbers like that are not true relationships. They are just casual acquaintances. People whose names simply fill up our address books and cell phones. True relationships are more intentional and more methodical and more sacrificial. They are also very rewarding and beneficial.

Yes, relationships are really the most important thing in this life. But, we frequently we mess them up, don't we? To the people we should/could love the most, we often become "islands" because we are afraid they might ask us to do something for them. Frequently we are unwilling to be that unselfish and vulnerable for them. Seems like we are often more willing to relate to someone and get along with someone in relationship as long as they agree with us and/or do what we want them to do. But when they demand something of us or ask us to commit to something that might interrupt our own selfish lives, we quickly become "islands."

So, it seems like every man is an island can be our relational experience. But, does it have to be? I am committing to working real hard from this moment to change that going forward. How about you? Will you join me?

No man is an island? Maybe they did get it right after all?

Lessons Learned from Defeat

2010-11-07T13:12:00.002-06:00

First the easy one.

The Texas Rangers were soundly defeated by the San Francisco Giants in only five games in the 2010 World Series. I was bummed out about their defeat for days!

But, there was at least one obvious lesson to be learned from their disappointing defeat on November 1, 2010. That is: Great pitching almost always beats great hitting in baseball. Always has. Probably always will. While the Rangers made significant improvements to their pitching staff in the past several years, it wasn't quite enough to actually win a World Series.

I'm still a big Rangers fan, however! I can only hope that they will take note of this and other lessons learned from defeat.

Now for the more difficult one.

The Democrats were soundly defeated by the Republicans in the 2010 mid-term elections on November 2, 2010. Being a conservative, and generally a fairly routine backer of Republicans in most elections, I was kind of happy about that. As a matter of fact, I still am.

However, I think we all (regardless of our political persuasions) need to take note of some of the lessons learned from defeat while they are still fresh.

Now, I know that I'm kind of stepping out there with this blog and taking a big risk with some of you. These are simply my humble thoughts and are based on my long-held convictions. But, I hope you will understand that these words are not written to alienate any of you or have this become an issue that divides us in the future. I really mean that.

Lesson # 1 - A "big shift" towards a certain political direction (be it left or right) in one election usually shifts back in the next election. It is really, really difficult for one political party to win election after election after election in this country. There will occasionally be big swings in our voting results to the left or the right . But, these have a way of correcting themselves the next time people are given a chance to go to the polls. In other words, winning one election doesn't mean that much. Multiple elections in a row are what is significant.

Lesson # 2 - Politicians who primarily push their political ideologies and ignore the general will of the people do so at their own peril. I'm certain that a lot of Monday-morning quarterbacking must have been going on in several political circles following the 2010 elections. "Maybe we shouldn't have pushed so fast and so hard on certain volatile issues?" "Maybe we should have listened more closely to the overall mood of our country, paying closer attention to what many of the people of this country were trying to tell us?" I think the old adage of live and learn applies here.

Lesson # 3 - Liberty and freedom matters more than "progress" and change in this country. The United States of America was founded on the principles of individual liberties and freedom from any form of governmental tyranny. We as individual citizens still don't like being categorized into various "classes," or being told by the ruling party to pay excessive taxes to support stuff we really don't agree with. Americans didn't like that infringement by the British government on their liberty and freedom 200 years ago, and we still don't like it today. Don't mess with our liberty and freedom if that's what it takes to enact "progress" and change. It won't work.

Lesson # 4 - Strong support for and defense of our Constitution with governing based on same (versus political ideologies) is what works in this country. Going forward as a nation, everything we do in the halls of Congress should be checked against the Constitution first and no laws should even make it out of committee without passing a test of Constitution-compliance first. Adherence to the United States Constitution is what has made this country great, not political ideologies. Deviation from the long-standing principles of our Constitution will be the end of this nation's greatness.

Lesson # 5 - If you don't have the money for something, don't spend what you don't have. No matter how much you might want something to change or something to be a certain way, if you do not have the means by which to pay for it, it's just not the right idea. Period. Borrowing money and going into debt is only a good idea for rare occasions. You should only borrow money if you have a reasonable plan for how you plan to pay off that debt in the future, and that needs to square with all of your other obligations as well. It is foolish to spend borrowed money when you have no credible plan to pay it back in the future.

Well, there you have it. My thoughts on lessons learned from defeat. Not sure if what I've written aligns with your thinking, or if it is completely contrary to same. At a minimum, I hope it will cause you to consider the implications of elections in this country and prepare you to be an even better citizen the next time we go to the polls in 2012.

Go Rangers!

His was a life well-lived

2010-10-17T06:22:00.007-05:00

Vernell G. Kvale - born September 30, 1931; died September 30, 2010. A complete life. His was a life well-lived.

I am thanking God today for the life of one of my favorite uncles. For the love he showed to me throughout his life, and for the inspiration he's been to me ever since his death.

Although it is usually ill-timed, we tend to appreciate someone we have loved and admired even more after they are already gone. I wonder why that is? Why do we tend to get so preoccupied with our own lives and our own affairs so much that we forget to honor those among us who have lived their lives well, and have blessed us (and others) immensely?

I don't have the answer to my own question. But, I can tell you this. Attending my uncle's funeral recently impacted me greatly. His was a life well-lived.

My Uncle Vernell lived most of his life in Lake Mills, Iowa. Except for a couple of years spent farming with my Dad following high school, and two years of active duty service in the United States Army following that, this small town of a few thousand people was his home. I admire the simplicity and wholesomeness that represents. I also admire the fact that he appeared to be perfectly content with living in the same community his entire life.

He married my Aunt Violet in 1956. That means that they were into their 55th year of marriage at his death. I admire the faithfulness and longevity that represents. He loved her greatly and it showed! A testimony to his incredible love for her and his thinking of her needs all the way to the end was this story told to me by his son following the funeral. My aunt's birthday was just a week after his. So, a few weeks before he died when he was being taken to hospice, he made sure that his son purchased a birthday card and gift from him so that it would be there and given to her in case he wasn't around to give it to her himself. His was a life well-lived.

He was a loving and dedicated father to four living children, two daughters and two sons. He loved them greatly and it showed! He was also grandfather to four young grandchildren whom he loved dearly and they loved him back. I admire the commitment and dedication to others that represents. Another story told at the funeral conveyed the mutual love shared between my uncle and his grandchildren. When his life was coming to a close and he was already very weak and at hospice, one of his granddaughters really wanted to be with him, missing his tender, loving touch. So unprompted, she crawled up in the hospital bed with him to snuggle. Even though in a terribly weakened state, he still wrapped his arm around her as they lay there together quietly for several minutes. His was a life well-lived.

As to his vocations in life, he was a farmer, a manager of the Lake Mills Creamery, and a custodian at the Lake Mills Community School. Following his official retirement about thirteen years ago, he continued to perform some part-time carpentry with a friend and assisted various farmers in his community with their harvests. I admire the hard work ethic and lifetime productivity that represents. Knowing that he would eventually lose his battle with cancer after fighting it for ten years, he actively participated in the planning of his own funeral service. Because of his genuine love for children at the school where he was custodian for ten years, he requested a choir from the school sing at his service. And they did. It was an absolutely wonderful and refreshing patriotic tribute to America. His was a life well-lived.

Finally, nearest and dearest to my heart is the fact that my uncle was a writer, and a believer in Jesus Christ.

As to his writing, throughout his life he wrote prose and poetry and shared many of his original writings at Memorial Day and Veterans' Day ceremonies. With only a simple high school education, he also wrote meaningful pieces for friends and family in his community, blessing them at birthday or retirement celebrations.

As to his Christian faith, it was obvious to me from words spoken at the funeral that my uncle had a deep and abiding faith in Christ. The pastor who conducted the services reflected on numerous conversations with my uncle and communicated effectively some intimate references to assurance of my uncle's salvation and personal relationship with Christ.

Yes, his was a life well-lived. Thank you, Uncle Vernell.

May we all express our love and openly appreciate someone we admire while they are still living.

I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball!

2010-10-03T09:47:00.004-05:00

If you know anything about me, you probably already know that I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball! I love almost everything about it! And, this year, my love for this team may payoff in new ways as "my team" is actually going to the playoffs! Yay! And, hopefully they will go deep in the playoffs! Hopefully...

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, we went to a Rangers game at the Ballpark in Arlington (we also went to another game on my birthday, and are going to their final game of the season again today, too!). At that game, I told my sweet wife, Ellen, that I wanted to write down all the various experiences of a Rangers game so that I could blog about it later. Why shouldn't everyone who reads this blog learn more about one of my absolute favorite things? :-)

So, here's a portion of my list of experiences so that you all can better understand why I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball:

Even as you enter/approach the stadium, there are the nicest people who greet you with a smile and say, "Welcome to the Ballpark!" I love that.
I'm normally not much of a "groupie" type guy, but I love it that almost everyone wears Rangers shirts/gear to the games.
I love seeing all the young kids at Rangers games! They are usually so happy and smiling and just delighted to be there with their parents/grandparents (well, at least most of them are!).
I love the neatly manicured grass of the field and how the maintenance crews spray down the infield with water, getting it to look picture perfect before play begins.
They usually have a ceremonial first pitch, giving one special person the privilege of having his or her moment in the sun. I love that! The other night it was a boy who was born without arms. He made the first pitch! He threw the ball with his foot. The ball actually made it to the catcher's glove, too! Amazing! What a thrill for that boy. He'll never forget that, I'm sure.
I love the excitement of the crowd as the announcer gives the starting line-ups for "Your Texas Rangers!"
I get chills up and down my spine as The Star Spangled Banner is played, and we all remove our caps, stand in attention gazing at the flag and salute our country.
I love it that you can still bring your own food/drinks into the Ballpark if you want to. We (well, actually it's Ellen!) usually pack a lot of snacks and eat way more than we should. But, it's baseball, for goodness sake!
I love the video board and highlights from previous games. And, they always show the "positives" from those games, never the "negatives."
I love that they have short clips of songs for each Rangers batter as they come up to the plate. I love it that several of the Rangers have Christian songs/messages for their clip.
When you are at a baseball game, you get a chance to sit outside for three plus hours. Most of the time it is really glorious to be out there enjoying the fresh air and cool evening breezes.
At certain points in the game, the organist will play certain little songs/chords that help get the crowd fired up again and cheering for the Rangers. I love that!
I love the fact that you can just sit there for three plus hours if you want to and watch the game and/or the people around you and/or the video board and not say anything if you don't want to. To me, baseball is a lot like what other people might enjoy about fishing.
I love it that they shoot off fireworks when a Rangers player hits a home run.
I love the fact that even though individual players probably can't hear us when we yell encouragement to them from the stands, we still do it anyway. It creates a constant murmur and/or buzz in the crowd, and that's just baseball.
Being at Rangers games is still very much a family-friendly activity. I love that! It is still an affordable form of entertainment, there are lots and lots of activities for kids (like one of my favorites, the Longball Blast), and you can simply just enjoy being together during the games without any pressure to be involved in anything else.
I love the "bump music" between most innings and the standard favorite of singing of "Deep in the Heart of Texas" (complete with clapping) around the 5th inning.
Who doesn't like the Dot Race? And who doesn't slip back into being a kid again for just a minute while those silly people dressed up as dots run? I love that.
I love it that they play Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" when the opposing pitcher is in trouble and "give him the boot" when he leaves the game.
I love the "Stealing Third Base" moment when some kid gets a chance to run like mad to try and steal the base (literally) and make it back to where he or she started before time is up. Plus, if they do it (and a lot of grace is usually extended for this), they get to take that base home with them. How cool!
I love it that the Rangers still have Dollar Hot Dog nights. Not a big fan of hot dogs myself, but they are so much a part of baseball. And, only a buck for one of those things? What a bargain!
I love singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" during the 7th inning stretch and then dancing to "Cotton-Eyed Joe" after that. It gets everyone up on their feet moving and smiling and getting their groove on! Even me!
When they do it, I love the "Kiss Cam" during breaks between innings late in the game. So fun to see the cameras catch couples unexpectedly and then watch them kiss (or not if the couple happens to not be a couple and only on their first date! Ha.)
In some ballparks they have someone sing "God Bless America" after the 7th inning also. Love that song!
And finally, at the ballpark you sometimes end up talking with the people around you during the game and nearly become friends by the time 9 innings are over. How many places does that occur these days?

So, that's a little bit about why I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball! I hope the Rangers play well into October, and can I even dream that they make it all the way to the World Series?

My biggest concern now is: What am I going to do from November through March without baseball?

I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball!

It had been 30 years

2010-09-12T12:16:00.003-05:00

I believe that God gives special gifts to each of us in the form of wonderful people along the way in the span of our lives. He seems to bring these relationships into our lives at strategic points in our development in order to bless us in unusual ways. Our job is to notice the blessing He sends our way, and then thank Him for them, too.

God really blessed me when He allowed my life to overlap with Herrick and Mary Smith.

For a little over six months, this wonderful couple ministered to me at a vulnerable time in my life. I will be forever grateful to God for them!

Let me tell you the story...

It was late 1979, and I was a 25 year old single man working for HDR Architecture in Omaha. Kind of out of the blue, I was presented with a very unique opportunity to teach at the University of Florida for a limited six month period. In order to do this, however, I would need to take a leave of absence from my job, which I did.

Upon arriving in Gainesville, Florida (all alone, not knowing another soul there and a week before Christmas), I soon met Herrick (as he would be my boss for the next six months). He subsequently introduced me to his sweet wife, Mary, over dinner. We three became fast friends! Their overflowing love and selfless generosity spilled over onto me in numerous ways. They even quickly made me "part of their family" and invited me to their home for Christmas Eve.

I could go on and on about all the other things these two wonderful people did for me from that cold December to hot and muggy June in Gainesville. But, that one act of extreme kindness at Christmas impacted me in a very profound way. So much so that I decided I would commit to talking with them by phone every Christmas Eve thereafter (if possible), telling them how I would never forget their generosity towards me and thanking them again for it.

Fast forward to the year 2010.

Last weekend (just before the Labor Day holiday), I traveled to Florida to visit my long-time friend, Herrick, who lost his sweet wife of over 53 years in early August. She succumbed to the ravages of Alzheimer's, a terrible disease that had been diagnosed only a couple of years ago. Alzheimer's cut her wonderful life short, just a few months before her 85th birthday.

After receiving the news of Mary's untimely passing, I wanted to be with Herrick in the worst way. Since I was not able to attend her funeral, I felt compelled to go there and be with him. But, it had been 30 years since we had spent any time together.

What would it be like to be with him again, even if only for parts of two days? Would we even have that much to talk about? What could I do to bring comfort and companionship to this special friend who now found himself all alone in a house he shared with his wife for over 44 years? Was I even the one who should try to do this?

Needless to say, I was a little nervous as I flew on Southwest Airlines from Dallas to New Orleans to Tampa to Jacksonville, and then rented a car and drove the final leg of the journey into Gainesville. I so much wanted my visit to be helpful to Herrick in the midst of his grieving process. But, it had been 30 years.

What if it didn't go well talking with him? What would I do then? What if it was just too hard for either/both of us without his sweet wife, Mary, there? She was always the great conversationalist when we were together.

Well, suffice it to say, the visit ended up going very well. As a matter of fact, I believe we both benefited from our time together. It was a time of healing and a time of hope. I'm so very glad I followed through with the promptings I had to take this trip and spend that time with Herrick.

What lessons can be learned from all this?

Don't forget to look for the special people God puts in your path to bless you.
Don't forget to be one of the special people God may choose to use to bless someone else in a time of need.
If you have been blessed, don't ever forget that blessing and remember to pass a similar blessing on to someone else if you are given the chance.
If God lays a long-time friend on your heart, follow-through with contacting them now. You never know how important your friendship may be to them and/or how timely a call or a visit from you might be in their life right now.
Thank God for all the special people He's placed in your path along the way.

It had been 30 years. Both of us said we wouldn't let that much time pass before we got together again.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh Out Loud About Life

2010-08-29T14:10:00.006-05:00

I'm usually a pretty serious guy. Just ask my wife, Ellen, and/or my family about that! I'll admit that I have frequently used this blog for "getting on my soapbox" about a lot of things that are going on in this world. Usually I write about things that appear to be going bad or wrong out there. And, there certainly are a lot of things that trouble me and cause me to get serious sometimes. But...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

It was just a couple of days ago on Friday, sometime in the mid-afternoon. I had just received an e-mail at work that hit me kind of funny. So, I decided to forward it on to a couple of people I really love, who I thought might be amused by it as well. As fate would have it, the forwarded e-mail ended up triggering some persistent giggles on the part of at least one of the loved ones who received my forward. Then she called me. At the office, mind you! Well, my apologies to anyone who happened to be sitting around me at work that afternoon, particularly if they were trying to get something done on a Friday afternoon. In a truly serendipitous moment, we both absolutely lost it on the phone! Once the laughter started, it began to snowball even further, to the point of being just a little bit ridiculous! Tears flowed. Knees were slapped. Hilarity became contagious. And finally, I ended up saying, "Stop! Stop!" as I gasped for my next breath. It was a really, really big surprise to both of us! Not what either of us was expecting when the call commenced.

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

Earlier in the week, I received a series of e-mails about a particular subject from family members, including the one who caused me to get completely out of control on the phone on Friday. For some unknown reason, a little birdie inside of me said, "Oh, go ahead! Have some fun with this why don't you?" So, relatively uncharacteristically of me, I did have fun with it. Probably fooled a lot of my family members who don't normally see me pulling pranks or laughing that much or hearing jokes emanating from my mouth. But, I just couldn't resist! I couldn't pass up the opportunity to smile, giggle, and/or laugh to myself. Maybe the stresses of life have been taking their toll on me lately? Maybe it was time for me to just have some fun and relax a bit? Chill out about things happening in my life? I don't know exactly what was going on, but...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

Many, many years ago, I remember experiencing totally uncontrollable laughter unexpectedly with my Mom. Neither of us are particularly funny people, as a rule. But, in this particular instance, we were over-the-top ourageous in our laughter. We just could not stop no matter what we did. It was another tears flowing, knees slapping, unending hilarity, gasping for a breath moment. Too funny! What made it even funnier was that my Dad was there, but he wasn't getting what we were laughing at. The more my Mom and I laughed, the more my Dad appeared to become completely disgusted with the two of us. It was a completely infectious moment for my Mom and me. We literally could not help ourselves. I am beginning to giggle just thinking about it! Have you ever had one of those moments (kind of like the "I love to laugh" scene in the movie Mary Poppins)? If so, cherish the memory! Remember moments like that when life gets hard and when things don't seem to be going the way you want them to go. Let it go because...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

It says in Proverbs 17:22 that "A joyful heart is good medicine." Also, I believe it was author and humorist Erma Bombeck who once said (after she found out she had terminal cancer) that if she had it to do all over again, she'd laugh more. Good advice! Let's all laugh more!

So, for today - nothing serious, nothing dire, nothing too spiritual or intellectual or political. I'll save all that for some other blog, some other week. Rather, for today...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

Got a good laughter story to share? I'd love to hear it. :-) Oh, and did you heard the one about...

There ought to be a law!

2010-08-15T11:39:00.003-05:00

This past Friday, I spent the whole day in a seminar entitled, "Legal Issues for Texas Architects and Landscape Architects." Since I am a licensed Landscape Architect in the State of Texas, I needed some continuing education credits for my annual license renewal and this seminar gave me eight TX CEPHs, including the required one for Sustainable Design and the required one for Barrier-Free Design. Those of you not in the architecture or engineering profession might be saying to yourselves right now, "Ho-hum..." Keep reading.

The whole purpose behind requiring licensed design professionals in the State of Texas to garner a certain number of continuing education credits each year for renewal of their licenses is to keep them current in their professions. It also helps remind them on an annual basis of their overall charge in having a license issued by the state - that is to protect the health, safety and welfare of the citizens of Texas as we practice. Whew! Some of you might still be saying, "So what?" Keep reading.

Well, about halfway through the seminar the thought occurred to me that everything I was hearing that day (from eventually all six attorneys who spoke to us), had to do with the miscellaneous interpretations of laws that had been passed by either our federal or state governments in recent years. Needless to say, there were times when I even felt like the speakers did not fully comprehend the laws that had been passed, even though they were declared to be the experts of them! Very frequently the speakers went back through all of the numerous, progressive "add-ons" to the original laws that had been passed, describing the necessities for how laws had to be modified to address issues that weren't covered or even fully considered by the initial piece of legislation. Ugh!

That is when it hit me. I remember hearing this phrase many times growing up. We in this country for too long have been all too quick to say, "There ought to be a law!" Something doesn't set well with us, we see something we don't like happening, someone we know is somehow made uncomfortable by a circumstance and we immediately say to ourselves, "There ought to be a law!"

I'm here to tell you that I think our mantra going forward should rather be, "There ought to be fewer laws!"

For the past 40-50 years when we as a nation have come up against something we don't like and/or don't think should be happening, our knee-jerk reaction has frequently been to introduce legislation attempting to fix or change whatever we personally deem wrong. Oftentimes without regard for any other point of view. After all, too frequently in this country it's all about me, right? And then, when a law is passed in its oftentimes compromised state, we frequently have to go back and amend that law over and over again to get it right. We seldom do.

I am beginning to think that this is no longer a good way to run a country. Rather, we should all just look around us, determine what each of us can do as individuals to make the necessary adjustments in our own lives to demonstrate a better way for others to follow, and then do that. Even if others don't follow, so what? Just live a life, set an example, prove that your way is the best way by living it and leave everyone else to their own business. It's still a free country, right? Right?

Case in point - one of the topics at my seminar on Friday had to do with laws dealing with accessibility. What a great cause! We as a design community should be making sure that everything that gets built is as accessible as possible. However, universal accessibility for each and every possible instance everywhere in the world (no matter when it was built) is probably unrealistic and a big distortion of what was originally intended. Similarly, another topic at the seminar had to do with the "greening" of our buildings. Once again, a great cause! I support it. We as a design community should be making sure that everything we do in our responsibilities as licensed design professionals promotes sustainability. That just makes good common sense. Local materials, less energy, better health for occupants of our buildings, etc. However, you cannot legislate compulsary "greening" for each and every building type all over the world, nor should we even try to! It's just unrealistic to think it will happen! And the costs of attempting to do so will ruin us financially.

So today, we have a lot of cries for laws that mandate proper foods to eat, or mandate generic details for universal healthcare, or mandate the prohibition of certain activities, etc. I'm telling you, all of that is dangerous, and someday soon we may all discover that it is also probably regrettable.

Therefore, starting today, I'd like to advocate a nation-wide campaign that says we should change the language in our country from one that says, "There ought to be a law!" to one that says, "There ought to be fewer laws!" Anyone care to join me in this cause? In my humble opinion, our freedoms and liberty in this country depend on us doing this different in the future than we have done it in the immediate past.

There ought to be fewer laws.

It is not good for the man to be alone...

2010-08-08T10:53:00.002-05:00

I'm alone in our house right now. My wife and youngest son are in Oregon visiting family/friends. I stayed home alone.

Truth be told, I was really looking forward to doing this alone thing. I always do. I always say to myself when I know that I will be alone and have the house to myself, "You can do this, you can do that. You can get all those things done that you're always wanting to do." I fool myself into thinking that I will be able to read books/magazines uninterrupted. That I will be able to set my own schedule for everything I do. That I will not have to worry about the schedule/activities of anyone else. Who am I kidding?

It is not good for the man to be alone.

God had it right when He spoke these words recorded in Genesis 2. Even though we are basically selfish creatures, frequently more self-focused/self-centered than we should be, we really do need each other. We need other people.

When I am alone (like my current situation), it seems my self-focus/self-centeredness increases. Not only that, I begin to almost resent other people who innocently invade my aloneness. When we are alone, generally not a lot of good happens. When we allow our self-focus/self-centeredness to increase, we can forget the value of other people in our lives and how much we really need them.

This past week, a friend of mine, Herrick, a friend I've known for over thirty years, lost his sweet wife, Mary. She finally succumbed to the ravages of a terrible disease that complicated and compromised her life the past several years. I ache for Herrick right now. He is alone in the home he shared with Mary for almost 50 years. Now, of course, for the time being, he does have people in his house - his children and their families, his friends, his neighbors, people from his church, etc. But, someday soon, he will have to face the fact that he is now all alone in that house. And, I am certain that when that happens, he will agree with God that, "It is not good for the man to be alone."

I don't think it is a coincidence that my circumstances of being alone are juxtaposed with my friend Herrick's being alone. I believe that God allowed this to teach me some very important lessons. It's not a mistake that I am seeing this being alone experience in fresh, new ways right now. My perspective on being alone is changing.

Am I saying that you should ALWAYS be around other people and never have a moment to yourself? No. I'm just saying that we all need to be careful when we are in the circumstance of being alone. Careful that we don't allow the self-focus/self-centeredness we all struggle with to deepen/grow. Rather, we need to turn this alone time into opportunities to bless other people. Here's a few things I might try to do the next several days while I am alone:

- I can pray for my wife and son, that they will have a wonderful time with family/friends.
- I can pray for my friend, Herrick, and his family; that God will comfort them as they mourn.
- I can write to my friend, Herrick, encouraging him in his time of need by telling him how much I loved his Mary, and remind him of all the wonderful ways the two of them lived life to the fullest.
- I can ask some neighbors out for lunch (as I did today), telling them with both my words and actions how much they mean to us as neighbors and how blessed we are to be living next to them.
- I can call some people I don't normally take the time to call and surprise them with that.

Well, I think you get the idea.

It is not good for the man to be alone. Seize the opportunity when you are alone the next time to think about the needs of someone else, not just your own. And then act on those thoughts. You probably won't regret it.

Now, off to that book I was going to read...

When Amateurs Are In Charge

2010-07-25T13:28:00.003-05:00

Now that I am older (not really old mind you, just older), I find myself a little less tolerant of "amateurs."

But, before you jump all over me for being too harsh in my assessment of "amateurs," let me tell you that I completely understand that I was once an "amateur" myself. The really dumb things I did at a much earlier age (all the while thinking I was so doggone smart!) are totally embarrassing to me now. Wow. Why didn't someone tell me that I was such a rank "amateur" in so many areas? And I was. Believe me! Ugh.

Fortunately, I had several people who gave me multiple chances at strategic places in my life. They gave me chances to try and fail. They gave me chances to learn and grow. They even gave me chances to make dumb mistakes. They also gave me chances to learn valuable lessons from the dumb mistakes I made. Hallelujah for that!

The measurable consequences of my plentiful "amateur" mistakes were pretty small. I hope and pray that very few people were severely impacted by my true "amateur" status earlier in life.

Fast forward to today. Sure seems like there are a lot of "amateurs" out there, doesn't it? Sure seems like there are a lot of well-meaning people in several places trying and failing at their jobs, doesn't it? Sure seems to be a lot of people in need of a lot of learning and growing before they'll really be able to be good at what they do, doesn't it? From my perspective, there seems to be a lot of people making some really dumb mistakes affecting untold numbers of people. I believe that there is a plethora (I love that word - a la El Guappo from The Three Amigos!) of folks out there who really need some wisdom and a crash course on life (including lessons learned from same) before they'll ever be very good at their jobs/stations in life. Unfortunately, the mistakes being made today seem to be accelerating daily, compounding some daunting negative impacts on a lot of people, too. Am I the only one who thinks this way?

Concerning all of this, a thought has been rattling around in my head for several weeks. It goes like this: This is what happens when amateurs are in charge.

Whatever happened to valuing age and life experience, trusting the collective wisdom of the people who traveled this life before us? Why are we all so quick to throw out time-tested, tried and true principles/life lessons these days, falling head over heals instead for whatever is new, popular, politically correct or simply marketed well? Isn't there something to be learned from those who have gone before us? Something?

Now that I am older, I am valuing the input and recommendations of those who have gone before me a lot more than I ever have before. Also, as much as I like giving people multiple chances and helping them to learn in this life, I am beginning to think we can't afford to do that much more when there are so many grossly negative consequences for doing this when amateurs are in charge.

My advice to you (even though you aren't necessarily asking me for it!) is to look around and find someone close to you who has traveled this life well and learned a lot from it. Hang around that person. Learn all you can from them. Ask questions of them. Take notes. Be willing to accept the fact that you more than likely don't know it all (I know that that revelation will be a shock to some of you!). Recognize that there is always something to be learned from someone else. Maybe even someone as old as me?

Who knows? Maybe you'll actually discover something really valuable from the experience and be able to take that something to an even higher level as you live your life? Who knows?

In conclusion, I just want to leave you with this final thought: really unfortunate things happen when amateurs are in charge.

Crapemyrtles

2010-07-18T14:56:00.012-05:00

What's your view of life these days? Is it "everything's on the up and up," or are you a little bit more pessimistic than that?

I would have to say that there are a lot of things to be discouraged about right now - here in the United States as well as around the world. I won't begin to spell out for you all the stuff that has me personally concerned, but my list seems to get longer and longer every day. And then it either shrinks or grows depending on my attitude and/or how I choose to view life at that moment in time.

But, when I really think about it, I have to ask: "When hasn't there been a lot to be discouraged about in this world?" Hasn't there always been troubles/difficulties of some sort or another?

Why is it that we are sometimes prone to focus on just the troubles and difficulties in this life? Why is it that we sometimes only see the bad in life and completely miss the good?

That is why I am so glad that God made crapemyrtles.

If you live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, I hope you've noticed how absolutely beautiful the crapemyrtles are this year! I guess the combination of lots and lots of spring rains followed by very hot temperatures is just what the crapemyrtles needed to show off their absolutely gorgeous colors. Wow! Some of the ones in this area are incredibly beautiful!

After noticing crapemyrtles a lot the past few days, I decided it was time to take a photo of one particularly brilliant one on my way home from church today (see photo at the beginning of this blog). I am amazed at how vibrant the color is and how bountiful the blossoms on this one tree! Amazing!

While observing the beauty of the crapemyrtles, I couldn't help but think of the lyrics to a song. It is these words that frequently run through my head whenever I experience something so beautiful in God's creation. The lyrics I am referring to are taken from a song entitled "That's the Love of God," written by Phill McHugh and Greg Nelson back in 1989. It was Sandi Patti who made this song and its words famous/popular several years ago. The lyrics go like this:

What made God take so much care

To make creation glow

He could have made it black and white

And we'd have never known.

So, going forward I am going to try to remember that even when it seems like there is a lot to be discouraged about in our world, I need to stop and check my attitude.

Am I dwelling too much on the bad, not allowing myself to consider something good - like the magnificent beauty of crapemyrtles?

Am I thinking enough about how good God is towards me - about how His creation provides incredible beauty and bounty if we will only stop and take notice?

Have I thanked God today for making living plants like crapemyrtles to explode with color - even though He could've made them black and white and we'd have never known?

In spite of all the stuff that could bring us down and get us really discouraged in this life, let's remember that God gave us crapemyrtles.

Don't just focus on the bad in the world. Allow yourself to focus on the good, too.

What's your view of life today?

Who Moved the Furniture?

2010-07-11T12:16:00.003-05:00

My wife and I recently "rearranged" the living room in our house (even if ever so slightly) in anticipation of having some out-of-town guests/family come for a short visit this coming week. We wanted to make our living room a little bit easier for entertaining both in-town and out-of-town guests/family. We also wanted to make the room better for television/movie watching when there are only three of us here doing that.

Anyway, for several days after we did the rearranging, each time I passed through the living room, I thought to myself, "Who moved the furniture?"

Isn't it funny how accustomed and comfortable we can get to things being a certain way in life (even down to the arrangement of furniture in rooms in our houses)? And then, someone or something changes (even if only in a small or insignificant way) and we exclaim to ourselves, "Who moved the furniture?"

The older I get, the more I seem to notice changes, even small ones.

I have found that there is comfort in things being and/or staying somewhat predictable in life. There is comfort in not having to re-think everything each and every day we live. As a matter of fact, it can be downright uncomfortable when you have to adapt to change after change after change after change. Why don't we just leave things the way they are? Why do we have to continually change things?

Well, I've also come to realize that change is just a part of life. Get over it!

As much as I'd like to lock down on somethings and declare them to be totally unchangeable from this point forward, I need to be careful. An attitude like that only leads to unhealthy rigidity, potential alienation of people in my life and maybe even a bad case of ugly legalism. Taken to an even greater extreme, an unwillingness to accept and respond to change leads to a lot of other not so great attributes, too.

On the other hand, there are some things that are worth locking down on and declaring to be totally unchangeable. And that's really O.K., too. Living your life in constant state of change (oftentimes just for the sake of resisting permanence and/or stability) is no more virtuous than living your life unwilling to change. As with a lot of other things in life, the trick is trying to find a healthy balance between constant change and an unwillingness to change at all.

Recently, I traveled to the place where I grew up in Iowa. We visited several family members there. In a lot of ways it seemed to me that not a lot had changed since I was living there 40-50 years ago. I didn't know how I felt about that. Why hadn't this place and the people changed more? What was wrong with them? And then I said to myself that the fact that not a lot had changed was also very good. There were (and are) a lot of things in Iowa that shouldn't change. I realized that even though I had changed a lot from where I was 40-50 years ago, a lot of things also had not changed and that was equally good.

Balancing change, adapting to changes without compromising, and sorting out what really matters in life is key when it comes to change. Wish I had the fine art of it mastered, but I don't. I probably still resist change in a lot of areas, and then am way too prone to change when change is not necessary at all.

So, here's my challenge to all of you reading this. The next time you notice a change, and either remark to yourself, "Who moved the furniture?" and resist it with all your mind, soul and strength or accept the change way too quickly without fully evaluating all the ramifications, I would encourage you to ask yourself the following questions, long before passing final judgment on the change:

- Am I reacting poorly to this change because I am hopelessly stuck and unwilling to adapt to something new and different?

- Am I becoming too rigid and "out-of-touch" with the world I am living in because I resist changes like this so vehemently?

- What did I abandon and/or give-up by accepting this change? In the grand scheme of things, was that abandonment and/or compromised principle worth giving up?

- Is the change I am now facing a change just for change sake? Am I way too prone to make the change just because it is a "popular" thing to do?

- Is the change I am accepting causing me to forget where I've come from and all that was invested in me in the past?

Who moved the furniture?

Less of Me

2010-06-27T12:43:00.003-05:00

Day-in, day-out, this life sure can have its share of struggles. And some of those struggles usually are with the people we know and love best of all. Why is it that relationships are so hard sometimes?

Don't get me wrong. When it comes to relationships, I am blessed way beyond imagination! And, I am very, very grateful to God for each and every relationship He's given me. I am blessed by all the people God has placed in my life. Well, almost all the people (smile)...

So, why is it that we sometimes struggle with relationships in this life, especially when most of us are so blessed by all the people we know and love?

I believe the answer to that question is selfishness.

We are all selfish creatures. So, when it comes to our relationships, we want our own way. We'll get along with the other people God has placed in our lives (at work, at church, at school and maybe even in our own homes/families?) as long as they do just what we want them to do. Sound familiar?

Too often, many of us adopt a "my way or the highway" attitude when it comes to our closest relationships. As long as the other person agrees with me and what I think, then we'll get along. However, if they have another idea about a subject and I don't like it, well...

I love it when the lyrics of certain songs provide just the answers we need for the struggles we encounter in this life. I'm sure that all of us have at some time heard a song and immediately it touches our heart. Then, as often times happens, many, many years later those same lyrics are still stuck in your head reminding you of something that touched your heart long ago.

As I was thinking about writing this blog today and consequently mulling over the various events of the past week (which is what I do to get inspired for these blogs each week), one song kept popping into my head. It seemed to be just what I needed to hear again for the struggles I was experiencing with the various relationships in my life.

The name of the song is "Less of Me."

I first remember hearing this song back in 1978-79 at Dundee Presbyterian Church - Omaha, Nebraska. It was a Camp Sunday song that the high school students shared upon returning from their weeklong summer camp. The song really struck a chord (pun intended) with me, especially concerning my specific problem with selfishness. There have been many times over the past 30 years where I've had the lyrics to this song pop into my head, usually when I am in the midst of some struggle with a relationship and don't know what to do. The lyrics go like this:

Let me be a little kinder
Let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those around me
Let me praise a little more

Let me be when I am weary
Just a little bit more cheery
Think a little more of others
And a little less of me

Let me be a little braver
When temptation bids me waiver
Let me strive a little harder
To be all that I should be

Let me be a little meeker
With a brother that is weaker
Let me think more of my neighbor
And a little less of me

Struggles with relationships in this life? Try the less of me approach. It has helped me...

Giving an Acceptance Speech

2010-06-20T12:00:00.005-05:00

Today is Father's Day. And, since I have the happy, joyful, wonderful privilege of being a Dad, I've been thinking a lot about that the past few days...

What kept coming to mind as Father's Day approached was giving an acceptance speech. You know, kind of like they do at the Oscars and/or any other annual awards program? When the person who gets the award gets up there and says: "I'd like to thank..."

Well, here's what I'd say today in giving an acceptance speech for being a father.

First, I'd like to thank my God (heavenly Father) for giving me life and breath, and for providing His grace and salvation (eternal life) through Jesus Christ, my Lord. He gave me the most important gift I'll ever receive in this life! He saved me when I was lost. Thank you!

Next, I'd like to thank my Dad (earthly father) for marrying my Mom, and for bringing me into this world so many years ago. He loved me through so many tough times, and still loves me very much even to this day. I'm his only son and he has always been proud of me. He taught me to work and work hard, and always to do my best. Thank you, Dad!

I'd like to thank my loving and faithful wife, Ellen, who has always stood by me, supporting me in countless and incredible ways. She loved me enough (and still does!) to carry all four of our children to birth, thus giving me the fantastic privilege of being a Dad! She has stood by me - day in, day out - for almost thirty years, working very hard to make sure our house is a "home," and faithfully teach our children alongside me. Thank you, sweetie!

I'd like to thank my son, Andy, who always challenges me to consider "dreaming bigger, " reaching for whatever opportunities/goals are next. He's advised me with an unusual boldness when I really needed it, and called me up to places I still feel like I don't belong (largely due to periodic, misguided feelings of inadequacy/unworthiness, as well as times of very low self esteem). Thanks, Andy!

I'd like to thank my daughter, Katie, who always makes me feel so special, as though she's really glad to see me/be with me! She's helped me understand (just as her Mom has attempted to do for many years) that this life should be fun and lived to the fullest. She's also encouraged me to not take myself so seriously (which I need to be reminded of a lot!). She is an incredibly talented, resourceful and beautiful young lady! Brave, too. Thanks, Katie!

I'd like to thank my son, Peter, who so confidently accepts every stage of his life, and then makes it look so easy to be who he is (and do all that he does). He always calls me up to even higher levels of integrity, discipline and faithfulness, probably without even knowing that he is doing that. He's continually demonstrated extreme loyalty to his immediate family, as well as uncommon selflessness to long-time friends. Thanks, Peter!

I'd like to thank my son, Nathan, who always makes me smile, and causes me to laugh at so many things that are funny in life. He's proved himself to be a valuable friend to many, including his siblings! He provides his mother and me the delight of offering a place for his teenage friends to hangout and have fun. He has an uncanny sense for distinguishing right from wrong. He's brought a lot of joy to me over the years. Thanks, Nathan!

I'd like to thank Annie and Kristen, two chosen women who have truly captivated the hearts of my older sons, Andy and Peter. Thank you for being faithful to them, and for providing the companionship that they will need for this life. Thank you for allowing me, at times, to be another "father" to each of you. Thanks, Annie and Kristen!

Finally, I'd like to thank all those who have played strategic parts in helping me learn more about being a godly father, and then calling me up to that challenging task. I'm talking about the pastors, teachers, friends, family members and other acquaintenances/authors who have offered advice and loving instruction when I needed it most. Thank you all for caring enough to make yourselves available to me (and to my children) when "just me" alone would not have been enough. The responsibility of being a father is not something to be taken lightly, not for the faint of heart and not to be accomplished all on your own. No one is completely adequate for the task in and of themselves alone. It takes the wisdom and assistance of many to do it well.

So, if I were giving an acceptance speech for "fatherhood," that is what I'd say. I am a very blessed man today...

The 10 Cannots of William J. H. Boetcker

2010-06-06T12:17:00.006-05:00

I ran across some great words in my readings this past week. I don't exactly remember where I read them. But, I thought they were too good not to share them in this blog.

I was originally led to believe that these words were written/spoken by Abraham Lincoln. Upon doing more research, however, I discovered otherwise.

The great words I'm referring to are called The 10 Cannots of William J. H. Boetcker, originally published in 1916, and they read like this:

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
You cannot build character and courage by destroying men's initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

94 years later these words are still very powerful (and also very true!). God bless William J. H. Boetcker for writing them down.

I'm going to remember these 10 Cannots for a long time to come. Too bad these great words aren't "required reading" for all citizens of the United States of America today. We could really use wisdom like this again in our civic/political arena...

Relationships That Matter

2010-05-30T11:31:00.006-05:00

Contrary to the unprecedented popularity of several new social media types (including Facebook), there are only a few relationships that matter in this world.

I mean really. Can any one of us really have several hundred "friends" all at the same time? I think not. Consequently, these days my heart yearns for a few relationships that matter. Not dozens; just a few. But, I have found that it is easier said than done.

Take today for example. Today is my Dad's 82nd birthday. He lives in Iowa and I live in Texas. I spoke with him this morning by phone, but really wish I could be there with him in person today instead.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Not sure why I even wrote that here to him. He'll never read it. You see, my Dad does not have a personal computer, or a cell phone for that matter. He's never logged on to the Internet or sent/received an e-mail. Facebook is an absolute foreign concept to him. He wouldn't comprehend the concept of a Twitter "tweet" even if I tried to explain it to him. And yet, I still have a strong desire for a relationship that matters with him! How is that even possible when we live over 700 miles away from each other? Brief, weekly phone calls on Sunday afternoons just aren't enough for relationships that matter to flourish. There needs to be more, so much more. How I wish there was more in the relationship with my Dad.

I also think about other important people in my life. The people I love. The ones I really should have a relationship that matters with: Ellen; Andy, Annie, Katie, Peter, Kristen, and Nathan; my Mom; my sisters/brothers and their spouses/friends; my nephews/nieces; my close friends; a few co-workers; a few neighbors; a few people at church; etc.

Already, my list of people I really should have a relationship that matters with is up past 60 people. Plus, very few of those on my list live close by or are connected with me in a constant, regular sort of way.

Therefore, I have to ask myself, "Is it really even possible to have a relationship that matters with all of these people?"

I have a strong desire for a relationship that matters with each and every one, but I get terribly frustrated when it seems so hard to actually do! What's wrong with me anyway? Why does it appear that others are able to manage this part of life so well? Or, are they?

While pondering this dilemma, I was drawn to several verses in the Bible (Romans 7:18-20 to be exact). Here's what those verses say in the New American Standard version:

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But, if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me."

Not that I am a theologian or anything, but I think what these verses are saying is that when we have a strong desire to do what is right, but get frustrated when we can't do what we want to do and maybe even do the exact opposite of what we want to do, that means it's sin's fault. So, based on that, do I just get off easy then and say that it is an impossible task and just give up when it comes to relationships that matter? No.

I think there are several things I can learn from this whole experience concerning relationships that matter.

First, I need to stop trying to be more than I can really be to all the people/loved ones in my life. I need to better understand that I have a capacity for relationships, and also recognize that I probably will only be able to have relationships that matter with a few. And those few are probably going to be the ones who are either physically or genetically really close to me.

Second, it's discipline not desire that changes things. If I really desire a relationship that matters with someone close to me, then I am going to have to do something more than I am currently doing to make that happen. Just having the desire is not enough.

Third, I need to stop worrying about other people's expectations for me when it comes to relationships. I need to just enjoy the relationships I have and cherish those instead of spending all my time longing for some other relationship to get better. It would be a terrible thing to have no relationships that matter because of fussing over what was missing in so many of them.

I'm going to travel to Iowa with Ellen and Nathan to see my Dad in late June/early July. It will be wonderful to see him on the farm then. I'll have two to three days to demonstrate to him that his is a relationship that matters.

As they say in the Nike commercials, just do it!

Love Where You Live

2010-05-23T07:04:00.002-05:00

My pastor is wrapping up a sermon series today entitled, "Love Where You Live." It's all about challenging us to notice the people/needs in our midst and then encouraging us to share the love of Jesus with those people/needs. It's been a great series of messages! Really thought-provoking, and definitely a big call to action. What else can I do for others in my community?

I was in Chicago at a design conference for three days this past week and saw a little bit different version of the expression love where you live there. My long-lasting impression of the people I met in Chicago will be that most of them really know a lot about the buildings, planning and history of their city, and that they will do all they can to tell others why they love their city so much.

I was therefore struck with several "what ifs?" which became the inspiration for this blog.

What if each of us in our own individual communities actually noticed the people/needs in our midst, and then did all we were equipped/inspired to do to help meet the needs of those people?

What if each of us who are Christ followers openly shared the love and grace of Jesus with the people in our communities, and then actually helped them with their needs (both practically and financially) in the blessed name of Jesus?

What if each of us in our individual communities took the time to know a lot more about the buildings, planning and history of where we live so that we could tell others in a compelling way why we love where we live so much?

While I absolutely loved being in Chicago this past week, frankly I couldn't wait to get home on Friday night! You see, I live in Plano, Texas, not Chicago, Illinois (or any place else that might be as "cool" as Chicago). I love where I live!

I love the fact that Plano is my family's home and that it has been for the past 25+ years. I love the fact that because most of my family and friends live here in this area, I get to see them and be with them quite often. I love the fact that my church is here and that we get to minister to the people/needs of this community together. I love the fact that I know most of my neighbors and they know me. I love the fact that we can spend time talking with each other openly and learning from each other as well. I love the fact that Plano is a well-educated and prosperous community, and that I feel safe and "at home" here. I love where I live!

It's always nice to visit other places and learn about them, but the place where you live should be the one you love the most.

Love where you live!

Spiritual Lessons from a Colonoscopy

2010-05-02T06:20:00.005-05:00

I had my first ever colonoscopy this past week. Oh boy! I was kind of dreading it, but in the end (pun intended), it wasn't all that bad. Plus, it gave me inspiration for this blog!

Through the whole process of scheduling it, anticipating it, preparing for it, and then actually going through it, I discovered that there are several spiritual lessons from a colonoscopy. So, what follows is my attempt to let you all in on what I learned from this not-so-pleasant medical procedure.

First, I learned that sometimes it's best to just do it! My family practice doctor had advised me during the past five years to get a colonoscopy. Only recently did I decide to do it. My doctor had my best health interests in mind when recommending this procedure. He wanted me to discover if there was something crappy (pun intended) in my body that could lead to unwanted health troubles. Our medical profession has universally determined that on or around your 50th birthday is the ideal time to get your first colonoscopy. I was about five years late.

So, what's the spiritual lesson here? Well, how often has someone with authority in your life (a parent, a pastor, a mentor, an older brother or sister, etc.) suggested that it's time to take care of something really important in your spiritual life and you have chosen to ignore them (even though you might suspect they are probably right)? How often has someone you admire advised you to do something so that you can avoid unwanted problems later in life, but you chose to completely disregard what they've said (at least for awhile)? Sometimes it's best to just do it. Listen to that authority in your life and do what they are telling you to do, knowing that they really do have your best interests at heart.

Second, I learned that it takes a great amount of concentration to completely clean out stuff that gets in the way of improved health. Before I could have a colonoscopy, I had to put my normal routine aside and get prepared for it. It's just not possible to make a spur-of-the-moment decision to have a colonscopy. There is quite a regimen to go through approximately 12-16 hours ahead of the actual procedure. Some might even call it drastic! But, medical experts have determined this to be the best way of getting accurate results and save them from a lot of mess (ew!) while doing the procedure.

So, what's the spiritual lesson here? If you really want to know what is going on in your spiritual life, you just can't discover that without concentrating on it for awhile, taking time to clean out stuff that has built up inside of you over time. For improved spiritual health, it requires both a good amount of time and focused concentration. You may even need to do something drastic (like a complete TV/media/cell phone fast and/or immersion into good reading material for a time). Don't fool yourself into thinking that improved spiritual health will happen without a lot of time and concentration. It won't.

Third, I learned that I needed to allow myself to trust others, as well as partner with someone through the process. When I went in for the colonoscopy, I had to pretty much entrust my life (at least temporarily) to several people I didn't even know. I had to trust that they were capable of doing what they were about to do and that they'd have my best interests at heart. I also needed to have someone there with me for the procedure so that when it was all done they could drive me home. The good news is that the place where I had the colonoscopy was very professional. They seemed to really know what they were doing. They were all extremely nice and seemed to be very accustomed to helping people like me through this process. They knew exactly how to make it as painless as possible for me (yay!). The other good news is that I had the wonderful blessing and companionship of my life partner, Ellen, there with me, praying for me throughout the whole experience (thanks, sweetie!). Praise God for that! I couldn't have done it without her!

So, what's the spiritual lesson here? We all are going to need to trust others for help once in awhile. We should not try to do everything independently, all by ourselves. Improved spiritual health frequently requires others who are highly skilled at helping people, coming alongside us for awhile to do what we really can't do for ourselves. But, we need to make sure they are people we can trust first. Once that trust has been established, then we need to let those professionals (pastors, counselors, church leaders, etc.) do what they are highly trained to do. It also helps a great deal to have a trusted partner alongside you in the process of spiritual health discovery and healing. They can give you perspective and help you when the professionals are done with their part. It really takes a team effort to improve your spiritual health. That's why local church fellowship and having other Christ followers in our life is so important.

Yes, there are a lot of spiritual lessons from a colonoscopy. Actually, there are a lot of spiritual lessons in other places in our daily lives, too. But, you have to be looking for them to discover them...

With LIBERTY and justice for all...

2010-04-25T14:39:00.002-05:00

Words in the English language are wonderfully rich in meaning. I believe words should be used carefully and in line with Webster's earliest American Dictionary of the English Language. Sadly, that is not always the case. A lot of words have been hijacked from their original meaning and twisted to accommodate certain agendas, thus causing unnecessary confusion and silly debate at times.

Take the word "justice" for example. The primary meaning of this word from Webster's 1828 dictionary was: "the virtue which consists in giving to every one what is his due; practical conformity to the laws and to principles of rectitude in the dealings of men with each other; honesty; integrity in commerce or mutual intercourse."

By contrast, today the word "justice" can frequently imply the notions of equal distribution of wealth/property, and/or a form of restoration/retribution for wrongs committed against certain groups of people. When you compound word meanings by adding "social" in front of the word "justice," it gets even more confusing. Especially for well-meaning people and men and women of faith.

Who wouldn't want "social justice?"

But, think very carefully before putting your stamp of approval on it. Do you really know what that phrase means for the people using it? Depending on their world view, it can mean a wide variety of things. I am learning that I am really for "social justice" when it comes to some groups/organizations, and then really against it when it comes to other groups/organizations. It all depends on who is invoking the term and where they are coming from both philosophically and politically. I am also learning that you really need to dig deeper to find out the true motivations for "social justice" before you give certain groups/organizations your support.

That is why I have developed a litmus test for "social justice" going forward. The inspiration for this test came from the United States of America's Pledge of Allegiance. At the end of that pledge, it says with LIBERTY and justice for all.

Returning to Webster's 1828 dictionary, liberty means: "freedom from restraint; the power of acting as one thinks fit, without any restraint or control; only abridged and restrained as is necessary and expedient for the safety and interest of the society, state or nation."

Other common meanings for the word liberty include: freedom from arbitrary or despotic government control; freedom from external or foreign rule; freedom from interference, obligation, restriction and hampering; independence.

So, to me that means that when liberty is absent (even when it comes to something potentially wonderful like "social justice"), you have tyranny and/or oppression. I don't know about you, but I have no interest in supporting tyranny and/or oppression. If someone is mandating "social justice" as instituted/controlled by the government, that's where I draw the line. If someone is telling me that I have to give up my freedom in order to promote "social justice," then I will politely say, "No thank you."

Words are rich with meaning and need to be used carefully. We must also be very cautious about the meaning of concepts such as "social justice." Make sure that you look closely at the motivations of those groups/organizations who are promoting it. Don't be fooled...

How Conspicuous is Your Faith?

2010-03-28T11:57:00.006-05:00

Most people probably wouldn't consider north Texas and the DFW metroplex to be a significant location for ethnic enclaves of non-Christian faiths. However, I have observed over the past three to five years that this area (like a lot of other predominantly suburban communities in America) is in fact becoming an enclave for several non-Christian faiths.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a Christian, and thus not all that excited/interested in the Muslim mosques (or the numerous Jewish synagogues) close by. But, I am fascinated by and have a great deal of admiration for both Muslims and Jews who appear to be very conspicuous about their faiths. From outward appearances and casual observations alone, it is oftentimes quite easy to discover whether someone is Muslim or Jewish.

Take our Plano neighborhood for example. On Saturdays (the Jewish Sabbath), many of our Jewish neighbors (entire familes) walk to their synagogue because driving cars on their Shabbat is forbidden (unless of course the weather is particularly nasty, thereby giving them an exception to the rule). Men and boys in those families wear their yarmulkes, and frequently the women and smaller children have specific dress requirements as well. Thus, on Saturdays in Plano, Texas, where almost no one is dressed up and out walking around the neighborhood, it is quite obvious which families are Jewish.

What about you? How conspicuous is your faith?

What about me? How conspicuous is my faith?

To assist me in answering my own question, I looked up the word conspicuous in the dictionary. This is what I found for the meanings of that word: 1.) easily seen or noticed; 2.) readily visible or observable; and 3.) attracting special attention, as by outstanding qualitites or eccentricities.

Hmmmm. Is my faith easily seen or noticed by others? If not, why not? Is my faith readily visible or observable? If not, why not? Do the outstanding qualities or eccentricities of my life/faith attract special attention? Positive attention? Why does it seem like only Muslims, Jews and other non-Christian faiths are willing to make their faith conspicuous? Why does it seem like Christians too often attempt to hide and/or succeed in hiding their faith from others around them? What are we afraid of? What are we ashamed of about our faith? Hmmmmm.

Well, here's my challenge to those of you who are Christians (or followers of Christ) this week. Of all weeks of the year, this is the week that you should be especially conspicuous about your faith!

All week long you have an opportunity to be seen or noticed by others for your love of a Savior who even though completely sinless/perfect, voluntarily went to the cross to die for your sins.

All week long you have an opportunity to rejoice in the victory over death that Christ attained by rising from the dead, and make that rejoicing observable by others.

All week long you can make the outstanding qualities of your faith in Christ known and attract positive attention. All for Christ's sake, not your own.

How conspicuous is your faith?

This week, make sure that people know for certain by your godly behavior, selfless actions and unfailing LOVE for others, that you are a follower of Christ. This week, why not let at least one other person know for certain how grateful you are for the ultimate sacrifice Christ made for you on the cross? This week, who in your cluster of relationships needs to know that you are trusting by faith alone in Christ for your salvation, and that you are living in complete dependence on God's grace for eternity?

This is our week, fellow Christians! Make the love and passion of Christ known in all the world!

SQM vs. CED

2010-03-21T08:03:00.005-05:00

Several years ago, I came across an unusual (but helpful) concept: SQM vs. CED. Unfortunately, I don't quite remember exactly where it came from. I don't quite remember who should receive the credit for it either. Sorry about that. But, I have carried this concept around with me for a long time, referring to it frequently over the past several years.

So what is SQM vs. CED, you ask? Good question. Let me try to explain.

As we go through this life, we have a choice. We can either Simplify, Quantify & Multiply things, or we can Confuse, Equivocate & Divide things. The choice is ours.

The implied correct answer is that we should all be more about SQM than CED. At least that is my humble opinion. That is also what I have attempted to do, both personally and professionally, and with relatively good success in the process. Let me explain how it works.

Sometimes if I break words/concepts like this down to their root meanings, it helps me better understand truth. For the exercise of explaining SQM vs. CED in this blog, I am even going back to Noah Webster's 1828 version of the American Dictionary of the English Language as I believe current editions of dictionaries have compromised true meanings of some words.

First let's look at the words for SQM and try to understand what this side of the equation is all about.

Simplify: To make simple; to reduce what is complex to greater simplicity; to make plain or easy.
Quantify: To determine, indicate, or express the quantity of; to make explicit the quantity of; to give quantity to.
Multiply: To increase in number; to make more by natural generation or production, or by addition.

Whenever possible, I like to make things really simple. Life is already complex enough. Why make it more so? Who doesn't like it when things are more plain or easy to understand? Wouldn't we all get along better if we attempted to simplify things versus make them all the more complex? Also, counting or quantifying things just helps each of us know where we stand on several levels. There is nothing more confusing than being held completely in the dark as to just what the score is for a particular situation! It is extremely hard to operate with that sort of ambiguity, both personally and professionally. Wouldn't it be better if we all attempted to count and quantify things instead of being content with ignorance of the actual numbers that affect things? Finally, when we multiply and increase numbers, good things usually happen. This is particularly true when it is by natural, conventional means. Growth is generally a good thing. Ever had a plant or a savings account or a stock that didn't grow? How happy were you with it after awhile? Not much, I'm sure.

Next, let's look at the words for CED and contrast them with the words we just looked at for SQM.

Confuse: To mix or blend things, so that they cannot be distinguished; to disorder; to perplex; to throw the mind into disorder.
Equivocate: To use words of a doubtful signification; to express one's opinions in terms which admit of different senses; to use ambiguous expressions.
Divide: To part or separate an entire thing; to cause to be separate; to make partition of; to disunite in opinion or interest.

Who likes it when it appears as though someone is trying to confuse you? When things that shouldn't be mixed or blended are? Who likes a constant state of disorder and/or being perplexed all the time? I have to be honest with you, I hate it when situations are just plain confusing! How about when words are ambiguous and/or the meaning of what is being spoken is doubtful? How about when opinions expressed seem to be completely contrary to our normal common senses? No thanks! Isn't it a lot better to be united versus being divided? How many of us really like it when things separate us? Not me!

So, now you know a bit more about SQM vs. CED. With that knowledge of this concept, what are you going to do about it going forward? May I suggest you consider the following:

1. Simplify, don't confuse things. If it is up to you and you have a choice in the matter, go simple.

2. Quantify, don't equivocate on things. Let's all count things and look for the common ground. Let's all stop the habit of continually changing the equation versus solving the one before us first.

3. Multiply, don't divide. What can you do to grow things? What can you do to unify? Look for those opportunities versus always focusing on what divides.

SQM vs. CED. Try it, I think you'll like it.

Charity vs. Charitable Giving

2010-02-21T11:35:00.006-06:00

What a difference a week makes...

Just last week, I finished filing our taxes for 2009, and to be honest, I was very pleased with them when completed. What? How can Vince say that he was pleased with his taxes after completing them? Is he some kind of nut or what? Well, I was pleased for two reasons.

First, we will be getting a refund instead of having to pay. (Actually this is bad news. I really need to make some adjustments to my allowances so that we keep our money throughout the year instead of the government keeping it for us! But, that will have to be the subject of another blog some other day...)

Second, our charitable giving totals were really great! What a blessing to look back on 2009 and calculate just how much money we actually gave away! I will have to admit, however that the deduction we received for our charitable giving was nice, too! :-)

But then, two totally unrelated activities (or were they?) occured that really humbled me and caused me to rethink how pleased I was after completing my taxes.

As God would have it (He's always teaching me through life experiences!), our neighbors down the street who have been struggling for several years financially (and in a lot of other ways - unemployment, poor health, etc.) had to move out of their house on Wednesday. Right on the heels of that, I had lunch on Thursday with a wonderful, godly man from our church and we discussed at length charity and what God calls us to do for the poor in our midst.

Wow. I realized all too quickly that there is a really big difference between charity and charitable giving.

Charity means giving help to those in need who are not related to you. It also means extending the love of God to others in a completely unlimited way. The poor (widows, orphans, the sick and disabled, etc.) are regarded as proper objects for our charity. This means we are to be primarily concerned with providing them with food, water, clothing, and shelter, and tending to them when they are ill. Beyond this, charity can also mean visiting those who are imprisoned or homebound, and/or ransoming those who are captive against their will.

Sadly, like most Americans, I don't think I really understand charity at all.

Rather, it is too easy for me to just practice charitable giving. And then when I have, I all too frequently congratulate myself with what I've done.

So, what exactly is charitable giving? It is giving money to a person or a church or other worthy cause, either directly or by means of a fund or trust. It can frequently just be a religious act or duty. Not that charitable giving is a bad thing. It really isn't. But, at a minimum, it's just not the same as charity.

What a difference a week makes...

Lord, help me to practice true charity in 2010, not just charitable giving. And let me have a heart filled with JOY (not resentment) as I do it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T11:24:00.008-06:00

Normally, I have a hard time with "Hallmark holidays." You know - the ones that really are just made-up/invented special days that businesses heavily promote so that they can sell lots of cards, gifts and such for them (or so it seems)? Like "Boss's Day," "Administrative Professionals' Day" (formerly known as Secretarys' Day), and even "Grandparents' Day," etc. Nice ideas, I guess, but really...

Unfortunately, Valentine's Day also falls into the category of being a "Hallmark holiday." But, I like it anyway. I mean, who of us doesn't need/want a day focused on love? Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends, love for your neighbors, etc. We all need love days, right?

So, Happy Valentine's Day to all of you whom I love!

But, where exactly did this "Hallmark holiday" come from anyway? And, how long have we actually been celebrating it? Do any of you even know who Valentine was?

According to Wikipedia (maybe not the most reliable source?), Valentine was an early Christian martyr. There may have actually been several of them over a period of years in the fourth and fifth centuries. Apparently, the martyrdom of these godly men named Valentine led to some pope declaring them qualified for sainthood - and thus Saint Valentine. That was a long, long time ago. Apparently, it wasn't until sometime in the fourteenth century that Saint Valentine became linked to what we all seem to think about St. Valentine's Day today - that is romance.

I have to be honest with you. I sat down to write on this blog today, fully intending to preach about something that I thought needed to be preached! I was loaded for bear, and ready to make some very bold statements about something that I felt needed to be said. But, before I got started preaching, I decided to read my sweet daugher-in-law's blog about one of the first dates she had with my son on Valentine's Day 2006. This completely changed my course. I had tears running down my cheeks as I finished reading what she wrote. Here's a link for you to read it also.

http://lettingyourlightshine.blogspot.com/2010/02/valentines-day-2006.html

Isn't that just wonderful?

So, you have been spared of my preaching and pontificating for today! What Kristen wrote in her blog about their date on Valentine's Day 2006, and the subsequent sweet, innocent, over-the-top romance she and Peter are still experiencing even to this day as husband and wife is much more important than anything else I could have written about today.

Thanks, Kristen and Peter, for being just who you are, and for demonstrating/living out such a beautiful image/picture of romance for us in 2010.

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's easy to start something...

2010-02-07T11:25:00.006-06:00

How can it be February 7th already? Wasn't New Year's Day just a week ago or so? Wow. Time sure flies when you're getting as old as I am!

A lot of us probably made New Year's resolutions at the start of 2010. I'm wondering? How are you doing with those resolutions? Have you accomplished any of them? I'm afraid it's easy to start something. But, it is so much harder to stay with it...

Take this blog, for example. I enjoy blogging. I really do! And, I love having a place to post my humble thoughts each week. However, when I sit down to do this (usually on Sundays), I find myself saying as I do, "Why am I still writing on this blog?" and "Is anyone even reading these posts of mine?" and "Should I keep doing this? For how long?" No matter how much you like doing something, you are always going to be faced with those times when you say to yourself, "Why bother?"

Well, I can think of at least three good reasons to continue the discipline of writing on this blog.

First, it really is good therapy for the soul, and a pretty good brain exercise as well. It requires me to think about what I want to say, and then to carefully compose each word so that anyone reading this gets a chance to see into me and find out what all is going on in my life. Kind of scary, but good to do anyway.

Second, it helps keep me somewhat connected with all of you who read it. For the longest time (probably almost 30 years after I moved away from my parents), my wonderful Mom faithfully wrote a letter and mailed it to me each week. Almost like clockwork, she'd write telling me/us about what she and Dad had been doing, what they had been thinking, about current events in the world and/or news about our family (about my siblings, aunts and uncles, etc.). I loved the connection those letters provided. Even if she really didn't have big news to tell, she still wrote her letter. I guess I'm beginning to think that this blog is my version of Mom's "letter writing" (21st century style). Even though this blog is not the personal, hand-written letters I received from Mom, maybe it serves a similar purpose? When I write on this blog, I feel a connectedness to lots of people who tell me they are reading it. And, that's worth a lot to me! My hope is that this blog provides some connectedness to people that I would otherwise not be in touch with as regularly.

Third, I like having a place where I can stand for things I believe in and express my values. It seems to me that a lot of people today are afraid to stand up for what they believe in. It appears as though lots of people just accept things without thinking them through. Some don't even know why they believe what they believe. I think that is terribly unfortunate. What a shame when people just mimic what they've heard from someone else (or read in some unreliable source), not really understanding how to defend truths. I believe that too many of us subscribe to things just because they are "cool," but we can't adequately express our deepest convictions. That's sad.

Finally, this blog was a gift from a very special person (thanks, Andy!). I was taught to be grateful when I was given a gift. It seems only proper to share this gift with others. With this blog I have the wonderful opportunity of thanking the person that gave it to me again and again. In a lot of ways, this has to be one of the best gifts I've ever received!

Lord willing, I'll continue writing here on Sundays for a little while longer. You see, I need the therapy it provides for my soul. I need the brain exercises it gives me. I love the connectedness it gives me with others. And, it has become a place where I can take a stand for what I believe in.

It's easy to start something...

It's much harder to stay with it...

A Song In My Head

2010-01-31T12:16:00.005-06:00

Sometimes I can feel a bit overwhelmed by life. I seem to be in one of those places right now. Just a bit overwhelmed. While I am not really very fond of times like these, God does speak to me in them. That is, if I am listening...

A couple events happened this weekend that God used to get my attention. Let me explain.

As a family, we played The Game of Things together on Friday night. (If you haven't had a chance to experience this game yet, you should. It's really a lot of fun to play, especially with your family!) Anyway, during the game, one of the cards that we were to provide an answer for said, "Things that don't stop." Someone in our family answered, "The song in my heart." I thought to myself as we were playing, do I have a song in my heart? And frankly, I had to admit that I didn't. There hadn't been too many songs in my heart lately. When you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, the ability to have songs in your heart kind of goes away.

Then on Saturday when I was out and about running errands (trying to catch up on all the things that I had not had time to do lately because of feeling a bit overwhelmed!), I heard a great song on the radio. I particularly noticed the chorus, and that chorus kept playing over and over again in my head. Not much time passed before I heard the same song again on the radio, twice in a short amount of time! I guess God wanted me to hear it.

So, while I might not have had a song in my heart for awhile due to feeling a bit overwhelmed by life, I do have a song in my head. And that song is Matthew West's "The Motions." The lyrics are quite sobering. They seem to be the words of someone else who was also feeling a bit overwhelmed by life. Read them below and then reflect on what they are saying.

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"

Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

I don't wanna go through the motions

Listening to this song really made me think. Am I just going through the motions in life right now? If so, what a terrible thing to admit to. Honest, but terrible.

Then I had to remind myself that sometimes when I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, that is all I am able to do - just go through the motions. Sometimes I need to make changes to simplify my life in order to get out from under the feelings of being overwhelmed. Then, if I keep things simple for awhile and wait, the rest of me has a chance to catch up, allowing me to once again experience life more fully again.

Jesus said in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

An abundant life isn't one that overwhelms you.

It is easy for me to get out of balance in life. Sometimes I just need a song in my head to remind me that overwhelmed with life is not where I want to be.

Family Dinners

2010-01-24T07:36:00.005-06:00

Tonight, our immediate family (all 8 of us) will be having dinner together. I can't wait! We had dinner together last weekend also, that time celebrating the birthday of one of our members. This time it will be for the purpose of "sending-off" a couple of our members who are moving on to new and exciting adventures in NYC.

Family dinners. They're wonderful!

I'm becoming more and more convinced that if all families in this country had dinners together, a lot of our societal problems would disappear.

This thought was really driven home to me about 15+ years ago (and it may have even been longer?). My family and I were planning to have dinner at a restaurant after work. I invited a young, single co-worker of mine to join us in that dinner. It wasn't any big deal really. Just a lot of "carbs" and some Cokes at a kids pizza joint I think (like Chuckie Cheeses?). But, we were having dinner together and sharing with each other about the events of our days (work, school, things at home, etc.). In the midst of our meal, my co-worker suddenly stopped eating and began to just sit there and observe what was going on with our family. After a short while, I noticed that he wasn't eating anymore and asked him if everything was O.K. He told me that he was not sure when his family last had a meal together. He said that the norm for his family (a Mom, a Dad, and one brother) was to grab whatever his Mom fixed them to eat, and then each would go off to their own separate rooms and/or television sets to eat (maybe watching a TV program while they did). Apparently, they seldom if ever had family dinners together.

Unfortunately, I've lost touch with that co-worker, but the last time I heard from him, his family was split up and having lots of troubles. How sad...

So, what's the big deal about having dinner together as a family? What difference does it make anyway? Well, I think there are several reasons why it is still a good idea for families.

First, everyone in the family has to temporarily put aside their own agenda/schedule and make room for it. That's a great exercise in unselfish behavior. And for some, that's a real sacrifice. I don't know about you, but I need things like family dinners in my life to remind me that it's not all about me and my agenda/schedule.

Second, at our family dinners, we pray together. We pray before the meal and hold hands all around the table. And, when it is someone's special day (like a birthday or because of a big accomplishment/goal reached), we each have a chance to voice a short prayer for and about that special person as we go around the table. I love those times! There used to be a little saying that was popular that went something like this, "The family that prays together, stays together." I like that.

Third, when you personally participate in family dinners, you are somehow more willing to accept each other's differences, putting those differences aside (at least temporarily). At family dinners, everyone usually focuses on what brings us together, not what separates us. We all need occasions that help us to do that.

So, in my humble opinion, there is no better way to foster love and unity in a family than to spend unselfish time together at family dinners. By agreeing to do this and following the very simple "rules" for doing so (putting aside your agenda/schedule and accepting others lovingly for who they are, not what you wish they'd become), each family member is given a great opportunity to hear what is going on in others' lives, learn what others think about certain topics, and develop a much deeper appreciation for your family members than you would have if you'd skipped the dinner.

If you have an opportunity to experience dinner with all of your family, don't miss it! Don't take these precious times for granted either. I'm convinced that family dinners are what hold us together and keep us on track.

Praise God for family dinners.

What if he was?

2010-01-17T10:49:00.005-06:00

First of all, let me just say that I am not a big fan of Pat Robertson and I do not condone what he had to say this week about Haiti following the completely devastating earthquake that happened there. Apparently, it is a natural disaster of epoch proportions! A lot of lives were snuffed out in an instant when that quake hit, and the hurt/pain for those who remain must be completely overwhelming. We need to be praying for the relief efforts in Haiti, as well as sending whatever support we can.

But, a lot of you may have been asking yourselves this week how anyone could be so seemingly insensitive to say what Robertson said about Haiti? Me, too. Similarly, a lot of you are probably saying to yourself: "What was he thinking?" Me, too.

However, as the days rolled on the abundant onslaught of severe criticism for Robertson following his words (some from prominent national figures who are also Christ followers, and some from Christ followers who are here in my circle in Plano, Texas) was not very Christ-like either. As a matter of fact, some of the criticisms were almost as disturbing as what Robertson said in the first place. Aren't we Christ followers supposed to be willing to extend grace to others? The same grace that we have already been given from the Lord? Why are we so prone to publicly pile on, attacking a fellow believer so boldly? Have we forgotten that we've made grevious mistakes in the past, too?

So, I asked myself this question: "What if he was?" What if God chose to speak today through someone here on earth like Robertson? Would we even hear it? Would we even be able to accept what he had to say as a word from God? I know that God primarily speaks to us today through His Word, the Bible. But, what if He decided to use another human being as His mouthpiece today?

Seems to me that the powerful influence of "public opinion" has become our new American idol. It seems to me that we worship on the altar of "public opinion" daily these days. No one wants to be on the wrong side of the generally accepted consensus of "public opinion." No one wants to stand alone for some thought or opinion that might be terribly unpopular and against the generally accepted consensus of "public opinion."

But, what if "public opinion" and what is wildly popular in America today was contrary to God's Word and His message to us? What would we as Christ followers in America do then? What do we as American Christ followers do when confronted with this dilema?

While pondering this idea, I was led to II Timothy 4:3-5 for some sobering words. Here's how those verses read in The Message:

"You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you're doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God's servant."

These words were written by Paul back in the first century A.D. to Timothy (and subsequently to all Christ followers after them). Even way back then, Paul was warning Timothy (and us as God's servants?) of the immense problems that arise when we are too quick to gravitate towards elevating the value of "public opinion" versus standing on the truths contained in the Word of God.

I would dare say that all of us probably need to check our motivations concerning our reactions to what Robertson said. Hopefully, Robertson is checking his motivations for what he said as well.

We all need grace.

A Tale of Two Deaths

2010-01-10T18:35:00.004-06:00

Last week was a very unusual week. It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times...

This will be a tale of two deaths.

On Wednesday morning when I got to my office, a co-worker informed me that a woman we both had worked with for over 15 years (her name was Jenny) had died the previous afternoon. Apparently, during the lunch hour, she was out in her car and somehow drove into a pond and drowned. As my co-worker told me of Jenny's death, I stood there with my mouth open in utter disbelief. How could this be? Was this just some terrible joke he was playing on me? I soon realized that it wasn't. Jenny was dead.

On Thursday afternoon, I got the news that an architect friend of mine (his name was John), someone I have known and loved for 24 years, had died. He succumbed to liver cancer after only a very short fight with it. His cancer was diagnosed only a few months ago. Unfortunately, I had been expecting the news of John's death. Sadly, everyone knew it was coming - he had been on hospice since a little while after his 70th birthday at the end of 2009. None of us wanted John to die, but cancer can be a quick killer. John was dead.

Yesterday I attended a memorial service for Jenny at a funeral home. Tomorrow night I'll attend a visitation at a funeral home for John, and then go to his actual funeral service on Tuesday afternoon.

This is about the deaths of two people that I have known personally. These are my observations concerning the apparent significant contrasts between the deaths of those two people.

Jenny was a single woman, 39 years old. When I first met her, she was newly married. But, that marriage didn't last too long (less than two years?). I don't know exactly why. I'm afraid I never asked her questions like that. Jenny was a very capable young lady. When it came to working diligently on deadlines for projects and doing the detailed tasks that she was asked to do, there probably was no one better. As a matter of fact, many would say that she was the best! But, I would also characterize Jenny as being a bit "salty." She had a bit of an edge to her. She was at times quite cynical and sharp. You really didn't want to mess with Jenny! She was a good and faithful friend to a few in the office, but she appeared to have a very limited circle. If you weren't in that circle, you really didn't get to know much about Jenny. I think she made sure of that. Most recently, Jenny had been away from work for awhile, sort of mysteriously. The word was that she was "O.K.," but that she needed some time to deal with some personal issues. Someone said that she may have had a chemical imbalance that was giving her problems? It may have been that or it could have been something else. I remember that she lost her Mom a few years ago and had a very hard time getting over that. No one knows exactly what happened when Jenny's car surprisingly left the road, rolled down an embankment and plunged into a pond. A bystander claimed that she appeared to be fighting to get out of the car before it became completely submerged. Sadly, Jenny died in that submerged car - alone and in the midst of what had to be a most terrifying event. Following her memorial service, I would have to say that apparently Jenny did not have a spiritual life per se. There wasn't any mention of her faith in God, or in His son, Jesus Christ.

John was married to his wife, Marna, for over 47 years. They had two sons in their family, and both of them are married with children, living in the immediate area. When I first met John and Marna, we were attending the same church. We followed them to a new church several years later, which is the same church we currently attend. John had his own architectural company, specializing in church architecture/design. The company was previously founded by his father, and in the past few years one of John's sons also joined him in the enterprise. John always, always had a smile on his face and just made you feel like he was really glad to see you. He and Marna just lit up a room when they walked in. I always looked forward to seeing John and Marna! They were the consummate wonderful couple that absolutely EVERYONE loved! Their faith in Jesus Christ was evident to all and they served our church for many years, in lots of different roles, adapting to numerous changes and life-changing initiatives along the way. Even as they battled the ravages of his liver cancer together the past few months, they appeared to do it with courage and hope and an abundance of acceptance, even though this wasn't something they at all expected to be going through. Both John and Marna loved to laugh, and laugh they did all the way until the close of John's life. John died with his family and friends (+/-20 people) gathered around him. They were singing songs and praying with each other until John drew his last breath. It must have been an incredible experience!

A tale of two deaths. A tale of two lives.

Not many of us will be able to choose how and when we are going to die. But, we can choose right now how we are going to live. I want to live life like John. And, when my days are over, I would love to have my family and friends around me singing songs and praying with each other until I draw my last breath, too.

Tiger Illusions

2009-12-27T15:32:00.004-06:00

Illusion - A deceptive appearance; a false show, by which a person is or may be deceived, or his expectations disappointed; mockery.

In the past month or so, most of our Tiger Illusions have probably been completely dashed.

More than likely, we have all discovered that the things we wanted to believe about Tiger Woods and/or maybe were even told to believe about him (largely by our sports media and large advertising conglomerates) just weren't true. They were Tiger Illusions.

Yes, he still remains one of the most famous athletes of all time.

Yes, he still remains one of the wealthiest athletes to have ever played the game of golf (or any other "game" for that matter!).

Yes, he will probably be remembered in history as one of the most astonishing sports figures ever, someone who truly mastered his game. At the top of his game, he is far better than his competition. No one else really even comes close to Tiger when he plays at his best!

But now, all of the incredible personal accomplishments of Tiger Woods are being completely overshadowed and/or somewhat discredited by his surprising (and numerous?) moral failures. This is yet another very sad entry to the world's Hall of Shame, an all too popular destination for way too many famous personalities these days. How sad...

Why is it that someone (like Tiger Woods) can fall so far and so fast in the eyes of so many? I mean, this guy has practically gone from first to worst in an incredibly short amount of time. It is amazing to see how quickly people dumped Tiger.

So, why did this happen? I believe it's because of the grand illusions created for Tiger by our media and advertisers. They all had a vested interest in keeping the illusion going.

In light of what has been disclosed in the past month about Tiger Woods and his apparent numerous illicit affairs and one-night stands, don't you think that lots of people probably knew about these blemishes on his otherwise squeaky clean image? Why didn't any of them come forward earlier and straighten things out for all of us? Why were these details about Tiger's life kept quiet and secretive for so long? Why were so many people unwilling to talk about any of this until Tiger and his wife had their middle-of-the-night tif in late November?

I believe that lust for power/money and a insatiable desire on the part of many to become part of the great Tiger Woods illusion is why.

You see, once an illusion is created, there's a lot invested in maintaining that illusion. Oftentimes illusions make a boatload of money for a lot of people beyond the one who the illusion is all about. Soon, there is so much money invested in the illusion that everyone who knows the real truth about the person is unwilling to cut off their ticket to stardom and/or wealth by debunking the illusion. There is no incentive for them in letting everyone know the truth. That is, of course, until the first person is brave enough to speak up. Then, watch everyone come out of the woodwork telling all of what they know about the person the illusion was created for. It really snowballs and sometimes gets ugly.

Tiger Illusions are now dashed. But, I am wondering how many other deceptive appearances are out there? Who else is putting on a false show, deceiving us by their mockery? What other illusion has been created by our media that will be found out next November (if not sooner)? Hmmm?

What's your favorite Christmas song?

2009-12-23T07:39:00.006-06:00

About a week ago, our immediate family had an early Christmas gathering where we exchanged a few gifts and enjoyed some really great food/hospitality together. It was such a fun time and a real blessing for me personally! Towards the end of that wonderful evening, all eight of us (plus Peter and Kristen's cute little puppy!) piled into the minivan and traveled a short distance to look at a fantastic Christmas lights display (complete with synchronized music on the radio!) together. It was wonderful!

In the midst of listening to the great music on the radio and looking at the incredible lighting display, we started asking one another, "What's your favorite Christmas song?"

One by one we offered our favorites. Mine was Joy to the World, Ellen's was O Come All Ye Faithful, Peter and Annie's was O Holy Night, Kristen said Away in a Manger , and now I am forgetting the others that got mentioned (but I think Andy may have said Hark the Herald Angels Sing ). Sorry, Katie and Nathan!

Anyway, I am wondering, what's your favorite Christmas song?

I remember so vividly the first Christmas after I became a Christian many years ago. All of a sudden, the words of the Christmas carols that I had sung all of my life meant so much more to me! The theology contained in Christmas songs is so fantastic, especially if you are a believer in Jesus Christ! Wow. What a blessing!

And to think that during this great time of year, millions (if not billions?) of people all around the world sing songs about my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and the celebration/remembrance of His birth at Christmas time! I love that!

Well, fast forward to the other morning as I was driving nonchalantly to my office. On the radio station I was listening to came my new favorite Christmas song! It touched me in such a special way! I had forgotten about this song when we were sharing our favorite Christmas songs in the minivan that night. How could I have forgotten this one?

The song I am referring to is Mark Lowery's Mary, Did You Know? and the lyrics go like this:

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?
This Child that you delivered
will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little Baby
you kissed the face of God?

Mary, did you know...

The blind will see.
The deaf will hear.
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap.
The dumb will speak,
the praises of The Lamb!

Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know
that your Baby Boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know
that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
That sleeping Child you're holding
is the Great, I AM.

Wow.

Aren't those words powerful?

Don't these lyrics just give you goose bumps and cause you to want to fall on your knees and praise God for Christ's coming?

Or is it just me?

What's your favorite Christmas song?

Don't miss the spiritual importance of Christmas this year! Listen to the Christmas songs and think deeply about the theology contained within them. It's fantastic!

Christmas Time - He, He, He, He versus Ho, Ho, Ho...

2009-12-20T06:10:00.008-06:00

It's Christmas time and I really love this time of year!

I love all the preparations for it - taking a photo of our children/family for the annual Christmas card; writing the annual Christmas card letter; planning all the extra events that happen with our family and friends during this time of year; making lists of people I want to buy gifts for and/or send special greetings to; determining how much time to take off from my job in order to help make it a special time for others; and reading in Matthew and Luke about how the very first Christmas took place, so long ago on a cold, winter night in a Bethlehem stable.

I also love all the activities of it - singing favorite Christmas carols throughout the month, not just in church, but also in all the stores while shopping; attending multiple Christmas parties and gift exchanges with family/friends, focusing on delighting others with "presence" versus just the presents; bringing my sweet mother-in-law (and other family members and friends) into our home to celebrate this holiday with us, sharing the joy and blessings that we are experiencing because of this incredibly important time of year; adapting to a slower pace at work, putting that phase of my life into a much lower gear for awhile so that I can focus on what is really important; observing my incredible wife Ellen working harder than normal, filling our house with an abundance of delicious foods/goodies to share with family/neighbors/friends (and unfortunately eating way too many of them myself!); giving gifts to the really special people in my life after doing some relaxed shopping for family members, friends, neighbors and co-workers; and spending time in prayer thanking God for His special gift to the world so many long years ago.

I love all the extras you can do because of it - saying "Merry Christmas!" to everyone because after all, everyone knows it's Christmas time; purposefully smiling at people who appear to be all together way too grumpy during this time of year, telling them with your smile that it's Christmas time and they shouldn't let their current burdens (or even their sometimes self-imposed problems?) keep others from experiencing the incredible joy of the season; surprising people with small, unexpected gifts, telling them with your gift that you value them and wanted to let them know that; exhibiting peace in the midst of a world that has way too much turmoil, just because you know that Christmas means a lot more than just Santa Claus and Black Friday shopping for bargains/deals; and asking God to make this Christmas even more special to you because it's so easy to forget why we celebrate and who this "holy-day" is really all about.

Yes, Christmas is a glorious time of the year! One that I really love.

Several years ago, I shared with my family a way I was taught to speak the truth of the Gospel in 10 words or less. It's a way for us all to understand the true meaning of Christmas (which is all about faith in the revelation of God's Son, Jesus Christ, who was born at Christmas). It's based on some words in I Corinthians 15:1-8, and can easily be remembered by the catchy phrase He, He, He, He. The "He" is Jesus. It goes like this:

He came.
He died.
He rose.
He lives.

It's just that simple! And that's what Christmas time is really all about. That's why I love this time of year so much!

So, this year, I am trying to focus on the He, He, He, He of Christmas versus the Ho, Ho, Ho.

How about you? What are you focused on? Don't miss the real reason for this blessed season...

Longing for a simpler time in life...

2009-11-22T08:45:00.004-06:00

Sitting in a hotel breakfast area as I write this, longing for a simpler time in life...

We're traveling this pre-Thanksgiving holiday and today finds us at a Hampton Inn in Las Cruces, New Mexico (hurray for numerous business travels that garner hotel points and free stays!). Four of us are on our way to visiting more extended family in Tucson today through Tuesday morning, and then we will head to the Phoenix area for time with my parents and other family interactions there. I love the fact that I have a family to spend time with. I also love the idea of "road trips" like this, and we have done dozens of them over the years.

But, as I sit here still a bit stressed out over the past week of work and the over 700 miles we traveled yesterday, a bit concerned for my daughter Katie in Delhi, India, on a short-term mission trip this week, and while observing other traveling families in this lobby breakfast area with their small children in tow, I'm reminisching about and longing for a simpler time in life.

A time when my family was always all together.

A time when we actually did everything together.

A time when all of us seemed to be completely in sync with one another.

I know that my longings are on the edge of kind of dreamy and possibly not very realistic (it probably wasn't as easy as I'm remembering it), but that's what's going on in my thoughts as I smile at the cutest little children around me and how they appear to be responding with such bold faith and trust in their parents for everything.

But, life isn't that simple right now. Everyone grows up and moves on. Everyone heads off to new personal and professional pursuits (as they should). Everyone changes based on the environments they are in and who they are currently influenced by. Life goes on. And that's O.K.

But, the fact remains, I'm still longing for a simpler time in life...

Happy Thanksgiving all!

I'm just not very good at "small talk"

2009-11-15T12:24:00.005-06:00

I love people, I really do. I love being around people also. I have a lot of really great people in my life. Don't know what I'd be like if it weren't for the people God placed around me in my family, my neighborhood, my church, my work, etc. But, I'm just not very good at "small talk."

Maybe that is why I love doing this - writing once a week on this blog. I can take the time to carefully compose my thoughts, think deeply about a subject that means something special to me, and then write (hopefully intelligently?) about what is really on this heart of mine. Although I am using a lot of words in this blog, there's really not much "small talk" here...

But, I feel guilty about not being very good at "small talk." Isn't "small talk" how we relate to one another and find out more about each other? Does everything we say to each other need to have deep meaning and/or an agenda? Can't we just share thoughts and ideas with one another without being judged?

Let me ask you this. Do we gravitate more towards "small talk" because we are afraid to tell other people around us what we are really thinking? What we really believe about each other and about life? Is our "small talk" just a mask that we hide behind these days for fear that others might really discover who we are?

Or, is all of our "small talk" only what we give ourselves time for - just shallow, brief conversations that mean very little because we are in such a doggone hurry all the time?

Seems like it didn't used to be this way. Seems like when I was growing up in a small town in Iowa, people usually had meaningful and thoughtful conversations. Didn't they?

In a day and age of abundant forms/tools of communication (even excessive maybe?), and with the multiple opportunities we have each day to communicate with each other (cell phones, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc.), why is it that it feels like we are actually communicating less and less? Isn't a lot of what we communicate with one another really just "small talk" and/or somewhat meaningless conversation/words? Where's the depth?

Do you know what I really, really like? When someone I know (in my family, my neighborhood, my church or my work) just wants to get together to talk deeply about important things in this life. Maybe over a long cup of coffee. Maybe over a meal. Maybe on a long drive across the country. Maybe on a camping trip when all the other "noises" we deal with most everyday are somewhat quiet and/or non-existent...

There are days when I long for a more Little House on the Prairie type lifestyle, where all you had around you was your own family and the words you shared with one another intimately, day in, day out. No telephones. No television. No Facebook postings and/or status updates. Not a lot of "small talk," but rather abundant times of sharing with each other, living close to each other, believing in shared/common values and inviting one another to be even more open with each other as the days went by and as you grew in this life. All without fear of what the other person might think about what you might have to say. Because you were family and you all were primarily looking out for the good of one another.

I'm just not very good at "small talk." But, if you want to sit down and go really deep in conversation with me, let's get together and do it!

I need a new favorite color...

2009-11-08T12:14:00.004-06:00

Everyone has their favorite color. Mine used to be green. Not any more...

Green was such a perfect favorite color for me. Green implied growth and I'm a real pro-growth guy (economic growth, spiritual growth, growth in intelligence/understanding, etc.). Green also conjured up wonderful images of plants and "landscape," so appropriate for my chosen profession of Landscape Architecture. Additionally, green very often caused me to think of my home state, Iowa, and all the green grass, corn and soybean fields there. Finally, not everyone liked green as their favorite color either, which helped make me kind of distinctive/unusual (as though I needed assistance in being unusual...). Green was such a great favorite color for me, and for such a long time, too!

But, green is no longer a color. Unfortunately, green has now become a policy position, a political statement, a marketing strategy, a religion, and for some, even a calling or a sacred (?) cause to save the planet (ever heard of Al Gore?).

So, if you are reading this, help me. Please! I need a new favorite color...

I'm going to rule out the "colors" black and white first. Too many racial overtones and misunderstandings associated with these two. Plus, they are really non-colors, aren't they? How can you say that your favorite color is black or white when each are really non-colors? If I'm messed up here and one of these should be my new favorite color, let me know.

I'm also going to rule out gray. Gray is the color my hair is becoming and/or has already turned to. I'm not that concerned about it, but just because I'm getting closer to becoming a "senior citizen," I don't think my favorite color should be gray. What do you think?

I'd love to say that brown is my new favorite color because I like it and it reminds me of another of my favorites - chocolate. But, I really don't need to think about chocolate very much as it doesn't really do me any favors when it comes to my weight. Plus, everytime I tell people (especially my kids!) that the tuxedos the guys wore at our wedding almost 29 years ago were brown, they respond with disbelief in that choice and laugh. So, my new favorite color can't be brown.

What about purple? That's the color of my son Peter and his bride Kristen's alma mater - Abilene Christian University. It's also kind of a trendy color, I think? No. Can't be purple. Sorry folks. Although I am confident in my manhood and try not to be sexist, I still consider purple to be a female color.

Orange is nice, but burnt orange implies being a fan of the University of Texas (which I am not). Orange also has too much association with Halloween, doesn't it? So, I guess it can't be orange.

What's left? Red, Blue and Yellow - the primary colors. I like that. Maybe my next favorite color should be one of these?

Red is good. There is a lot of talk these days about red states and their association with being Republican and conservative. That makes a lot of sense for me. But, then again. Red also used to have several negative connotations - Red Communist, Red Chinese, Blood Red, etc. So, maybe not red?

Blue? Well, blue is my wife's favorite color and I really like it, too. But, since I'm not a blue state kind of guy, I don't really "sing the blues" very much, and since so many people like blue, maybe it's not unusual/distinctive enough for me? What do you think?

Finally, how about yellow? Why not yellow? I need a new favorite color... Should it be yellow? There is a really cool Cold Play song that I like about yellow. Sunshine is yellow and I love sunshine and lots of it? But, can I get past the problems associated with this color: yellow-bellied coward; yellow/jaundiced; yellow infections; etc. Oh me, oh my. What's the right answer?

I need a new favorite color... Send me your thoughts on which one I should choose, O.K.? Thanks in advance.

Don't Drink the Kool-Aid?

2009-11-01T12:00:00.005-06:00

Have you ever heard the expression, "Don't drink the Kool-Aid?" Where did that oft-used expression come from anyway? Even though I lived through that time and experience (I remember hearing about it on the news), I still had to do a little research (thanks to the Internet) to refresh my memory of the not so pleasant details.

About 31 years ago this month, an extremely charismatic and compelling leader named Jim Jones orchestrated the largest mass suicide ever of over 900 members of his People's Temple in Jonestown, Guyana, South America. He had become convinced that "committing an act of revolution suicide to protest the conditions of an inhumane world" was the only thing they could do. His twisted philosophies and totally unconventional ideas aligned with communism and socialism had failed him and the People's Temple at every turn along the way. They had been forced to move as a group several times - from Indiana to California, and then finally to Guyana, South America to escape the intense scrutiny of many who began to see how far off-base this group was becoming. Unfortunately, Jones still had enough influence and power over these 900+ people (including over 275 children) that the last act of the People's Temple was to obediently "drink the Kool-Aid" containing a sedative and cyanide poison. All because their charismatic leader told them to do so. They had completely put all their faith and trust in their leader, in spite of all his failed ideas and philosophies. He had garnered that much control over them. So much control that they were even willing to take their own lives (and the precious lives of their very own children).

Sadly, the People's Temple members were found by authorities several days later laying side by side, dead because they believed with their very lives in the strong, but terribly misguided urgings of their charismatic leader Jim Jones.

So what? Is there anything we can learn from this significant episode in our history? Well, here's a few of the take-aways I have from this event:

- Beware of extremely charismatic and compelling leaders. Listen to them carefully, but make sure to think before you follow any of their ideas.

- No matter how bad or inhumane the condition of this world gets, suicide is never the answer, no matter who it is that tells you it is.

- Twisted philosophies and unconventional ideas aligned with communism and socialism have never worked or turned out positively, no matter how lofty and well-meaning the original goal was of helping others.

- If the philosophies and ideas of a charismatic leader never achieve long-lasing success, thereby forcing that leader to "keep moving" and never land solidly anywhere, that ought to be a pretty good indicator of being on the wrong track.

- No charismatic leader should be given the power to convince you to turn off your brain and do something really stupid.

Be smart. Don't drink the Kool-Aid!

Wise Guys

2009-10-18T11:54:00.004-05:00

I spent most of the day Friday and Saturday with a bunch of wise guys. There names are: Mike, Brian, Jeff, Dirk, John, Dan, Eddie, and Mark (Earl was missing, on assignment elsewhere in the country sharing his elder wisdom with another church).

These wise guys are my fellow elders at Chase Oaks Church.

What an impressive group of godly men! It was such a privilege to spend time with all of them on a "retreat" from our normal daily activities. They definitely provided a lot encouragement for me and definitely refilled my tank for leadership of our church!

However, one of these wise guys in particular will be the primary subject of this post. His name is Mike.

I've known and admired Mike for about 19 or 20 years. All of that time he and his sweet wife Sharon have faithfully served our church as an elder couple. They have been extremely dedicated servant leaders. They have been (and still are) an inspiration to me and so many others. They continually show me and so many others what servant leadership looks like. The wisdom that spills out of their mouths, and the clarity of their thoughts in the things that they do, is truly a wonderful blessing in my life (and in the lives of so many others). I'm going to share a little secret with all of you reading this. When I grow up, I want to be just like Mike.

I want to be as faithful and loving as he has been to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I want to be as honest and courageous as he has been in all of his business dealings throughout the years.

I want to be as selfless and giving as he has been to his wife and children/grandchildren from the day they were married/born.

I want to be the student of Scripture that he has been so that any wisdom that spills out of my mouth is unquestionably from the Lord, not just from me.

I want to be as humble as he is in spite of all the accomplishments he has been a part of here on earth.

I want to have as much integrity/energy/flexibility that he has when I am his age and in his stage of life.

I want to show Christ to others by the way I live, just as Mike has for so many years.

I am mindful of the fact that if he were to read this, Mike would be somewhat embarrassed and would not like the attention these words bring to him. That's just the way he is. But, sometimes you need to call out certain wise guys and tell them how much they mean to you and how much you admire them anyway.

I could write similar things about the other wise guys I spent the weekend with, but Mike, this one's for you! Thanks for being one of the wise guys I really love to be around.

A Glance Behind

2009-10-10T18:07:00.008-05:00

Sometimes it is helpful to take a glance behind. Sometimes we get so caught up in moving forward, totally focused on where we are moving to, that we miss the real benefits of taking a glance behind.

That's why it is so important for us to study history. World history in particular. We can learn a lot from spending the time to take a glance behind.

This year as a part of his 10th grade home education, my son Nathan is studying World History with my wife. Just this past week, the two of them were in a chapter that was discussing the Roman Republic. The enduring influence of the Roman Empire is reflected pervasively in our contemporary language, literature, legal codes, government, architecture, engineering, medicine, sports, arts, etc. Much of what the Roman Empire was all about is so deeply embedded in our culture that we sometimes fail to acknowledge how much we are indebted to ancient Rome. We miss it if we fail to take a glance behind.

Consider most common languages of the world today (including English, for example). Most of these languages are taken from Latin. Without Latin, you could not have read much of the past few sentences/paragraphs.

But even beyond that, the Roman Empire was a really big deal. It was the most powerful global force in its time. It lasted over 500 years, and was more important than any other world power during most of that time.

But, somewhere along the way, something happened. At some point in time, the Roman Empire fell, and now we only read about it in the history books (if we take a glance behind, that is).

My wife, Ellen, read something to me out of their World History book the other day and it seemed too significant not to mention in this blog. It was at the end of the chapter they were studying on the Roman Republic. Here is what the book had to say:

During these years of the republic, Rome grew from a small city along the Tiber to become the master of the Mediterranean world. New prosperity and power resulted from Rome's conquests. But with her rise to prominence, Rome was faced with new challenges. The Roman historian Livy described their predicament: "For true it is that the less men's wealth was, the less was their greed. Of late, riches have brought in avarice, and excessive pleasures, the longing to carry wantonness and license to the point of ruin for oneself and of universal destruction."

The foundation of the republic began to crumble. Traditional values, such as discipline, personal morality, and respect for authority, diminished. Citizens who once served their country with a sense of patriotic duty and responsibility now sought their own selfish interests. Corruption in government abounded. The breakdown of the moral fiber of the republic encouraged the use of force to settle Rome's problems.

In the midst of economic and political disorder, the Romans allowed the powers of the state to increase. They surrendered many of their rights and freedoms to obtain political and economic stability. The republic that offered so much liberty and rule by the people was replaced by tremendous government control and rule by emperors.

Now I ask you, does that sound at all familiar to you when you consider what is happening today in the United States? Do you think that we as a nation might benefit from studying about what caused the Roman Empire to fall so that we can avoid having the same fate happen to us? Hmmmmmmm.

Sometimes it's great to take a glance behind. There is a saying that goes something like this: "If you don't learn from history, you are bound to repeat it."

God forbid that we should fall into the same trap that caused the Roman Empire to fall...

Study Hard!

2009-10-04T12:48:00.005-05:00

Remember when you were in middle school or high school and your teachers or your parents (and for some of you, they were one-in-the-same!) told you to study hard? And why was that? Why did they keep telling you that?

Well, more than likely it was said to generally keep you occupied and out of trouble! But, it may have also been said to make sure that you were fully prepared when school's "pop quizes" or tests came along. Then, when they did, you were really glad that you had studied hard because the "pop quizes" or tests didn't freak you out as much. Remember that?

So, what about those of us who are no longer in middle school or high school (or college for that matter)? Does the fact that we are no longer in an academic setting mean that we don't need to study hard anymore?

From my experience, I would definitely say "No." As a matter of fact, I find that I have an even greater need to study hard these days as my life marches on into the future . You see, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I am studying God's Word - The Bible. Doing so helps me better navigate the successes and challenges of this life. God's Word prepares me fully for what lies ahead. I really never know exactly when life's "pop quizes" or tests will come. Neither do you. But, one thing is for certain. They will come. And, oftentimes we don't see them coming until they are right on top of us. Then, it is kind of late to "cram for the exam." When a success or challenge is right upon you, you're sure glad that you've been studying (or sometimes regretting that you haven't)!

Several dear people in our lives (Christ followers) have had incredible and sometimes unexpected tests thrust upon them in the last few months. The tests I am referring to are much more difficult than the ones you may have had in Biology or Algebra when you were in high school! It has been interesting (and oftentimes inspiring) to watch how these really special people have handled their particular tests. The ones who have developed disciplined habits of studying hard (God's Word), seem to have managed their tests a lot better than those who haven't developed the habit. I think there is a definite correlation for this.

Does that mean that if you study hard the "pop quizes" or tests of life are somehow made easy? No. But for Christ followers, God's Word usually contains all the answers we need for the "pop quizes" and tests of this life. If you don't believe me, I challenge you to try it (studying God's Word hard) and see if it doesn't make a big difference in your life. If you are a Christ follower (and even if you aren't), what have you got to lose? If you try it, I'm convinced that you'll see a difference the next time a success or challenge comes your way.

Study hard! You never know when life's "pop quizes" or tests are going to come your way. I want to be fully prepared for them, don't you?

Why I love going to major league baseball games...

2009-09-27T18:24:00.005-05:00

We went to the Texas Rangers' final home game of the season this afternoon in Arlington, Texas. We had great seats down the first base line, up in the "shade" of an overhang of the stadium, with a really cool breeze blowing in on us from the west (very pleasant since the temperatures got into the 90's late in the game). We really enjoyed the afternoon and the game. Well, at least until the top of the ninth innning. But, more about that later...

All throughout the game I kept remarking to my wife, Ellen, about how much I loved the experience of being at that game. I especially love the games at the Rangers' Stadium, The Ballpark in Arlington. Here's a few of the primary reasons why I love going to major league baseball games:

Before the game even begins, you sometimes get a chance to see batting practice and/or watch how all the players get themselves ready to play the game. It is really fascinating to observe how each player has developed their own peculiar routine for a warm-up. It takes a lot of good conditioning and intense discipline to be a major league baseball player. I admire those who do it greatly!

Also before the game begins, someone (or some group) sings the National Anthem and everyone in the stadium sings along with them, looking at a flag of the United States of America while we do it. We get to take off our ball caps, put our right hands over our hearts and reflect on what a great country this is. I love patriotic moments like that, don't you? It is so good for the soul to sing this song and be reminded of the privilege we all have of living in the United States of America. In my humble opinion, there is no better place in all the world to be a citizen and to live. No place else like America!

Baseball is a team sport. It requires a lot of hard work and cooperation from two to nine players simultaneously on the field in order to be successful and win. In this day and age of so many people living as "islands" and basically unwilling to do what it takes to play well on a team, baseball is a great reminder of the importance of teamwork in this life.

A baseball game usually takes between three to four hours to play the full nine innings. If you want to sit there and just be quiet for that entire time, you can. If you want to stand up and clap your hands and/or start the "wave" or shout out to one of the players, you can do that, too. The point is that for those three to four hours, you are free to just let the rest of the troubles/hassles of your life go by and happen without you. That stuff just has to wait when you are at a game. You need to take breaks from life and when you're at a baseball game, you really aren't available for doing work or any of the other activities that keep you so busy during other times. Baseball is kind of like "fishing" to me. You can just sit there and not have to say anything or do anything if you don't want to for those three to four hours. I like that...

At the Rangers' games, we usually sing "Deep in the Heart of Texas" after a few innings. And when we do, we get to clap our hands and all sing this fun song. I love it because it reminds me of how much I love living in the great state of Texas!

At the seventh inning stretch, the game stops for a moment, the players stop playing and then everyone in the stadium gives their attention to someone (or some group) who sings "God Bless America." This tradition was started after 9-11-2001, and I still get goose bumps (and sometimes even shed a few tears) when I hear the words of that song sung by an entire stadium. Once again, another great reminder of how blessed we are to be Americans and living in this great country of ours!

I love seeing all the children and families at the Rangers' games. Some kids wear their baseball/softball gloves and hope to be lucky enough to catch a foul ball. Very few of them do, but the hope of that possibility occuring is so great! Parents who bring their kids to the baseball game seem to really love being there and "treating" their offspring with the very special occasion of being at a major league baseball game. Whenever I go, I am reminded once again of all the fond memories of the many times we took our children out to the games as they were growing up. Oh how special that always was for our family!

Late in the game, between halves of innings, we usually do two of my favorite things at the ball park. These are "Kiss-Cam," and dancing to "Cotton-Eyed Joe." The cameramen in the stadium try to catch a guy and a girl sitting next to each other on their camera, and then dare them to kiss since the whole stadium is watching them! It is really cool to see some of these couples (especially the older ones!) really love kissing the person sitting next to them. What's really great is that the entire stadium smiles when this is going on. It is so much fun to be in a place where everyone is smiling and having just a great moment of clean entertainment! Then, we usually all dance in the places where we have been sitting to the familiar "Hee-Haw" tune. Once again, how can you not smile and dance when you're at a baseball game and everyone else is smiling and dancing, too? How many places in life does this happen?
The best part about going to a major league baseball game might be sitting outside and enjoying the weather at the ball park; the clouds and the shadow patterns as they roll across the field, etc. Have you noticed lately how easy it is these days to just sit inside and waste days away watching junk on TV, or taking in some movie or DVD with no redeeming value, or letting time erode while catching up on Facebook, etc.? All the while missing the experience of being in the wonderful out of doors? I'm convinced that we'd all be a lot better off these days if we spent a lot more time outside, away from electronics and digital gadgets. Why don't we spend more time outside? It's a shame that we don't.
Another great thing about going to a major league baseball game is that common people go to baseball games. It is still affordable for the "common man." Baseball games are not played in some extravagant palace that charges an arm and a leg to park or for tickets to get in. There are still "bleacher seats" out in center field, and even if you only have a few bucks to spend, you can still go to a major league baseball game (at least you can in Texas anyway!). That's a good thing!
Frequently, the outcome of the game is not clear until the very end of the game. As a spectator, you are held there in suspense until the last out because sometimes a game can turn on a dime and the outcome can change very quickly. Even if one team is ahead by a lot, the other team still has a chance to come back. You can be very nervous for the home team, even when it appears that they have the game in the bag, because you never know who might hit a long home run or make a diving catch to win the game. It's exciting all the way to the end! You always get your money's worth!
Finally, even if your team doesn't win the game, you've still been entertained and enjoyed the company of the people you came with to the game anyway. Maybe you even had a chance to make some new acquaintances of some of the other "common" people at the game sitting around you. Going to a baseball game is always good, even if your team doesn't quite hang onto the game. Even if you're disappointed, you're still glad you came out for the game (at least most of the time).

Those are a few of the reasons why I love going to major league baseball games. Have you been to one lately? If not, why not? You don't know what you are missing! Wholesome entertainment and an activity that is really good for the soul.

Don't Forget Where You've Come From...

2009-09-20T07:14:00.011-05:00

The above photo is the "wallpaper" I've assigned to the laptop I use nearly everyday. I love this photo! It reminds me everytime I power up the computer of where I've come from. I think that is so important. You see, a long time ago, I grew up on a farm in central Iowa. That is who I am.

This particular shot, taken in 2008, is looking out into my Dad's field on our 200-acre home place. This is just one of the fields I used to help plow and disc, and then plant and harvest corn and soybeans when I was a kid. This photo was also taken from the place where our family's barn, corn cribs, machine sheds and house are located, looking generally to the north on a beautiful day. This location is where I used to park the car I drove when I was in high school and/or home from college (we didn't have garages for our cars, only for the farm machinery).

The silver maple and mulberry trees you see in this photo are some of the ones I used to climb and play in when there wasn't much else to do on the farm. Many of the rocks/boulders we pulled out of the fields are piled/stacked along the fencerow at the base of these trees (along with some old farm implements and/or miscellaneous equipment no longer, or seldom, in use).

The sky and the clouds in this photo are very typical of what you can see all the time in Iowa.

So many thoughts and memories flood into my brain everytime I see this photo! It reminds me not to forget where I've come from. That's so important to me these days.

Why? Well, in another week or so, I will have lived with my family in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex for 24 years. I remember the first time we visited some relatives in this area back in 1982. I remarked to my wife, "I could never live here!" We were in the midst of some really crazy Metroplex traffic on LBJ and/or Central Expressway at the time, and it was really frightening to me back then.

Well, about three years later, we had actually moved here (be careful what you say "never" to). And, several times after that I would frequently look out from my office at LBJ and Hillcrest and say to myself, "What's a farm boy from Iowa doing in a place like this?" I guess I've since made the adjustment.

However, adjusting to the environment you are placed in is one thing. Becoming somebody completely different than who you are and where you've come from is something else.

You really can't deny or hide where you've come from. It shapes you, it affects you, it has already determined a lot about you. And I'm here to state that most all of that is a very good thing (at least for me).

For example, because of my farm background and humble beginnings, I'm really not all that impressed with flash and glitz and glammer. Never have been. I'm also not that impressed with "wealth" (or really the blatant conspicuous consumption people do these days to try and convince you they are rich, even though most of what they have was bought with credit). I grew up with a lot of wealthy farmers, my Dad being one of them. But, to meet him, you'd never know that he has a lot of money. I like that authenticity.

I'm also a pretty loyal, faithful guy. When you grow up on a farm in Iowa, you just take a lot of the things in your life as "givens" and don't worry too much about trying to change any of them. I know that I had dreams when I was a kid, and I am probably living some of them out right now. But, I don't ever remember sitting there on the farm and wishing I was someplace else. I was taught that you make the best of the situation you find yourself in. People just didn't spend their days wishing they were someplace else. We were in Iowa, for goodness sake! Why would you want to be anyplace else anyway? :-)

I'm so grateful for my upbringing and the place where I've come from. Being an Iowa farm boy has really shaped my life in so many ways and there's nothing I can do to change that. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't want to even if I could!

Don't forget where you've come from...

Dreams of a soon-to-be 55 year old...

2009-09-13T11:20:00.004-05:00

For some reason, this has been my week to ponder "dreams." You know, those things that you think about all the time and really want to do? Those things that you will almost sacrifice anything for because they seemingly mean that much to you? Those things that you fantasize about doing to bring about dramatic changes in your current life - maybe taking on a brand new direction and/or accepting a brand new (and difficult) challenge? Maybe you have dreams like that? Maybe not.

Through a combination of circumstances (both work-related and family-related), and following a viewing of the movie Julie & Julia yesterday (yes, men, I took a bullet for all of us guys; went to see a morning chick flick on a rainy day with my wife), I decided to write this blog today about "dreams." I've entitled it dreams of a soon-to-be 55 year old (and the bold and italics were especially done for one particular couple of you reading this!).

Actually, I guess I've never really been much of a "dreamer." Oh sure, I've had dreams over the years. For example, I dreamed of being an artist and going to college, of marrying my best friend, of becoming a father, of being named a vice president (and senior vice president) at HDR, of having a leadership position at my church, and of witnessing my children go to and graduate from college, etc. All these dreams have already come true. I'm grateful to God for that!

But, there have also been a lot of dreams that turned into disappointments for me, things that never materialized or happened (at least not so far). For example, here's a sampling of what I'm talking about: I never grew taller than five foot eight inches; I never became a great athlete; I never developed exceptional musical talents as my two sisters did; I never developed a close, day-to-day, interdependent relationship with my Dad (at least not yet); and I never was able to start my own business and/or work in a small landscape architectural design firm. All these dreams just weren't for me. Looking back at them from the other side, I'm grateful to God for that, too!

In May of 2008, however, while reading my favorite magazine (World), I came across a wonderful article about the pastoral author Eugene Peterson and said to myself, "That's my dream! That's how I'd love to live someday." So, let me fill you in on what the article said about his life and how he spends his days since retiring from being a full-time pastor.

First, Eugene Peterson and his wife live in Montana (one of my favorite places in all the world!), in a house that his father built in 1947. It is on a mountain lake near Glacier National Park. All three of his children and their families live within four hours of this place and frequently visit whenever they can. He and his wife attend a small church nearby and many of the people he worships with there he's known for many, many years through his father.

Peterson and his wife live out a patient and deliberate lifestyle, one he tried to teach others while he was a pastor in Maryland. They like quiet, they like rhythm. The rituals of their daily life have a quality of sacredness.

He is an early riser, up at five or six most weekdays. He makes a pot of coffee, prepares a thermos for his wife, and then takes it to her on his way to his study. For the next hour and a half they are by themselves, separately praying and reading the Scriptures. Following that, he gets dressed and then takes a lovely, quarter-mile walk down a country road to get his newspaper. Making this walk throughout the year (regardless of the weather) keeps him in touch with the seasons and the animals.

Peterson and his wife prepare breakfast together. After breakfast he goes to his study to write, working until 1:00 p.m. or so. He claims to work as hard as he ever has, avoiding unnecessary interruptions as much as he can. No e-mails during this time.

Following this, Peterson and his wife eat lunch and then take "liturgical naps." After this they either walk the wooded trails nearby or cross-country ski, kayak, canoe, etc. They are pretty much outside most of all afternoons.

At about six in the evening, Peterson builds a fire in the woodstove, and then he and his wife begin preparations for supper. Then they read aloud to each other for an hour and a half (I absolutely LOVE that), reading various novels and memoirs. When they're done reading, they finish their dinner prepartions, eat and go to bed. Very simple. Their daily schedule changes somewhat for Sundays, with only attending church services and visiting friends on the docket. Very little else.

Well, that's my dream. Living intentionally. Making a conscious choice about how to live. Being completely at odds with the busyness of American life.

Hey, I can dream can't I? What about you? What are your dreams? Would love to hear about them...

The Importance of Having a Focal Point

2009-09-06T18:04:00.004-05:00

About seven months after my lovely wife Ellen and I were married, we also found out that "we" were pregnant. Actually, it was only Ellen that was truly pregnant (I did my part, and then the rest was up to her). But, back then (in the last half of 1981), it was a "we" proposition to have a baby. Husbands/fathers were finally allowed into the hospital birthing rooms after several decades of being totally restricted to the waiting rooms - all while the women they loved more than anything in all the world went through a pretty demanding and oftentimes painful physical experience (to say the least!). I can't imagine what that must have been like to be a guy in the 30's, 40's and 50's who just had to sit there and wait for the doctor to come out and tell them that he was a father. How dumb was that?

No, in 1981, we were so much more progressive than that (yeah, right!). Men were now allowed to be an integral part of the whole birthing process with their wives. As a matter of fact, men weren't just allowed, it was downright "expected" that all husbands/fathers be there to actively participate in the birth of their children. That's where the Lamaze natural child-birth classes came in.

As soon as you found out "you" were pregnant, "you" had to find a class to attend as a couple to prepare you for what you would both experience when the birth of your baby happened. This was not optional for too many men in 1981. Nope. She was "expecting," and you were "expected."

But, I'll never forget our Lamaze classes. We had the best instructor! She was an absolute HOOT. She made it so much fun to learn about natural child-birth! Seriously, we laughed a lot in those classes! :-)

Anyway, one of the most critically important strategies she taught us was the importance of having a focal point. You see, in the middle of the actual labor and birthing process, my sweet bride Ellen would need to have a focal point to help her concentrate so that she would not be too distracted by what was happening to the rest of her body (like that would even be possible?). I think we chose a picture on the wall to be her focal point. We were such amateurs the first time, or at least I was! Poor Ellen...

This morning at church our pastor/speaker mentioned in his message entitled "A Change in Perspective" that we need to have a focal point when it comes to our work. He said that we need to see our work as art, and that we need to see our work as worship. If we have a focal point (something/someone beyond just our work being only just plain work), then this is easier for us to do.

That made me think about blogging about the importance of having a focal point.

How many of you find it really hard these days to stay laser focused on the important tasks at hand, not allowing yourself to get easily distracted by urgent or silly stuff in your life? How many times have you been so conflicted by the pain you are going through and/or the sometimes really unimportant tasks that you are asked to do that you give up on what you know you should be focusing on?

Just like in child-birth, when the going got tough, and when there were a whole bunch of things around Ellen that would have easily caused her to be distracted, when she turned her complete attention toward her focal point, she was able to manage and make it through the tough times and the pain. She was able to set her mind on what was to come at the end of the pain (a new life!) by letting her focal point keep her on track.

What's your focal point? What are you focusing on to help you navigate through all the pain and distractions and nonsense that want to take you off course? Is your focal point something/someone that helps you see beyond just the here and now? In light of eternity, a lot of the stuff we allow to distract us here seems so very unimportant, doesn't it?

Maybe it's time you rediscover what you may have once known through your Lamaze classes - that is the importance of having a focal point. In this life, a focal point will help you be effective when everything around you is strange, confusing, painful and/or distracting. Think about it.

I agree with Solomon - Part 2

2009-08-30T17:47:00.005-05:00

The following wisdom from Solomon is contained in the Bible's book of Proverbs - Chapter 22, verse 1:

"A good name is to be more desired than great wealth,
Favor is better than silver and gold."

I don't know about you, but I sometimes dream about what it might be like to have great wealth. Truth is, I'm already blessed beyond imagination and very well-off by the world's standards. All of my family's needs are more than taken care of and they have been for a very long time (thanks to the Lord blessing us abundantly!). But, living where we do in the north Dallas/Plano area (and/or anywhere else in the United States?), it is sometimes hard for us to remember that. There's always someone (or lots of people?) who appear to have more "wealth" than we do.

I am oftentimes curious about those people who appear to have great wealth. What's that like on a day-to-day basis? What do they do with it? How do they manage it? What's does it feel like to have considerable material and monetary excess beyond what you really need? I wonder? Or, is this idea of great wealth only just a modern day fairy tale - an illusion based on tricks and debt? Is great wealth something that people dream about, but never really ever achieve? Hmmmm... I wonder.

Back to Solomon's words, they say that a good name was to be more desired than great wealth. And that favor is better than silver or gold.

May I remind you that Solomon did in fact have great wealth. He may have been one of the richest men who ever lived on planet earth! So, if he said something about great wealth, he was speaking from first-hand knowledge and experience. He actually had great wealth and knew what he was talking about.

But a good name? That's really better than great wealth? Seems way too simple, doesn't it?

A lot of us might be saying to ourselves about now: "Just let me try great wealth first and then I'll let you know if this guy Solomon knew what he was talking about. Let me experience great wealth for awhile and then I'll tell you if he was telling the truth."

Sometimes we can think we are so smart. Sometimes we can distort our very short lives here on earth, completely magnifying them way beyond their actual importance, to levels that are totally out of proportion. Sometimes we can think that what we are doing right now is somehow more significant than what has happened in all of history. Get serious. While your life is important to many people, and while what you are doing is somewhat significant for right now, very few of us will be remembered in history books 50 years after we are gone. Most of what we are doing and/or experiencing in our individual lives has been experienced before. Maybe numerous times. Don't kid yourself. You and I aren't the smartest people who ever lived. As a matter of fact, Solomon had a corner on that market, too. He was considered the smartest man who ever lived.

But, how much do you value having a good name? Is your name in fact "good?" What does that even mean? Good according to who? And what about favor? Whose favor is better than silver and gold?

I'll have to admit, I am a people-pleaser. I probably fuss more about what other people think about me than I should. Truth is, there is only one person that really matters when it comes to yours and my name being good. If we are going to fuss about anything, it should be about whether we are honoring the Lord of the Universe with our lives, and if others are giving Him the glory and honor He deserves based on our lives and actions. That would be our good name, if you please. Nothing else really matters much at all.

Do you believe that? If you do, what are you going to do to make sure that your name is good with the one who really counts? Whose favor are you going after? In the grand scheme of things there probably isn't anything more important than this. Think about it...

I agree with Solomon (again) - A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, and favor is better than silver or gold.

Health and care and reform

2009-08-23T11:56:00.004-05:00

I'm feeling pretty lousy today. I see by the Sunday paper that "Fungus" is really high here in the Dallas area. So, that must be what is causing my allergies to make me feel so bad. Darn fungus...

Isn't it amazing how we can take our health so for granted sometimes? I would dare say that a couple of days ago, I wasn't even thinking about my health - about how bad I felt; about whether I would be able to get some good sleep this afternoon/tonight or not; and/or about when I might start to feel "normal" again, etc. A couple of days ago my health wasn't even on my radar. But today, I am feeling totally out-of-whack and basically unable to concentrate on much of anything else.

I'm ashamed to admit that when I'm not feeling very good, everyone else is supposed to really care a lot about that (and me!). How dare they go about their lives being healthy and living normally when I feel so bad! Don't they realize how bad I feel? Hurrumph!

Too often when someone else's health has been bad, I'm afraid I haven't always been as compassionate or sympathetic as I should have been about that. When your own health is in pretty good shape, it is sometimes pretty hard for us to truly care about someone else's that isn't. Am I the only one out here who has this problem? Am I the only one that is this selfish?

This week my sister, Debb, goes in for brain surgery. She has a large Meningioma. This is a growth connected to her brain - not into her brain, just connected to it. She's known that she's had this benign tumor for several years. But, now it has grown so large that it is pushing out her skull and deforming it. Therefore, they are going to cut open the back of her skull, remove as much of the tumor as they can (hopefully all of it) and then try to put everything back together again (including a titanium plate to replace the part of her skull they cut out). It's a serious medical event and could potentially compromise her otherwise good health. This is something I really care about, and I will be praying in earnest that all the doctors/surgeons have exceptional skill during this surgery. I will also be praying that she is able to fully recover from this and be completely restored to good health once again.

With so much of the news these days filled with the topic of healthcare reform, I am wondering if the greatest reform needed might be in the hearts/minds of all of us towards one another. Maybe it isn't the government or the insurance companies that need to fix what ails us? Maybe it's that we need to start to care more about the health of those around us and reform our way of thinking about who's really responsible for standing by our loved ones and neighbors when they go through trials with their health? Maybe each of us needs to stop whining/fussing so much about our own health and recognize that everyone has times when they won't feel so good? Maybe we all need to figure out how we can care for others, instead of only selfishly focusing on how we feel ourselves?

One thing is for certain. Healthcare reform is needed. But, what the government is offering is not the answer we need. What the insurance companies are offering is not what we need. Each of us just needs to stop long enough to thank God for the good health we already have been blessed with , and then look around for who we can care for that is truly hurting.

Now that's the kind of health and care and reform that will really last in this country.

Your life needs to be sustainable

2009-08-16T11:49:00.003-05:00

Sustainable is a huge buzz word these days, especially in the world of architecture and design where my work is. Frankly, I'm really weary of hearing about it. I'm also really tired of being made to feel guilty for doing something I love to do or want to do because it is somehow deemed by "green" folks as not sustainable.

Let me ask you this: Other than creating a lot of news/press about it, plus creating a lot of new jobs for people to monitor/watch how sustainable we all are (or aren't), what exactly has been accomplished by all the buzz about and money spent on sustainable stuff over the past 10-20 years anyway? Maybe it's hard to measure the effects? Maybe we won't know for quite awhile whether our actions and/or changes to them are really making a difference in this regard? But, I digress...

I did hear a good use of the word sustainable at The 2009 Leadership Summit on August 6th. Bill Hybells said, "Your life needs to be sustainable."

This speaker was referring to leaders and how they need to measure what they are doing at all times to make sure that what they are doing can be maintained and/or if the pace/activities they currently are keeping/doing will eventually cause them to fail.

I'm afraid to admit that there have been several times in the past few weeks where I have had to ask myself if my life was sustainable?

There are a lot of needs out there that need addressing. There are a lot of people out there that are hurting. There are many, many places where each of us should be plugging in to make a difference in people's lives. But, your life also needs to be sustainable.

It is so easy to volunteer to start something and to say, "Yes, count me in. I'll help." But, how many times do we volunteer without counting the costs and then as time goes by, we can't keep our commitments because our life really isn't sustainable at that pace?

If you are a "people-pleaser" like me, this just kills you. You want to jump in and be involved in good activities and be a part of something that is successful and really makes a difference in people's lives. But, the nasty little secret about involvement is that if you start, but don't continue and follow-through completely on your commitment, it is almost worse than if you hadn't signed up to participate in the first place.

Our church is currently looking for 500 mentors to commit to being a part of a Title One school student's life. The commitment is for 30 minutes per week for the whole school year. Part of me really wants to do this. Part of me is somewhat afraid to jump on the bandwagon and commit. Why? Because statistics show that students who have had mentors in the past who started, but failed to fulfill their commitment as mentors, actually suffer greatly from those brief commitments. They actually become a negative in their lives (versus a positive). How terrible to be somewhat responsible for causing a young child to have a worse situation in their life because I failed to follow-through on my small commitment to them.

That is why I am asking myself today, "Is my life sustainable?" With my church, family, job/career and other commitments I've already agreed to and/or are in the middle of and can't remove myself from, have I crossed over into a non-sustainable condition? What impact will my agreeing to do this next thing have on people if for some reason I can't follow through and do it fully and with excellence? What do I need to give up in order to make room for this new commitment? What impact will giving up another commitment have on the people who are counting on me fulfilling that commitment if I take on this new one?

Your life needs to be sustainable. Is it? Think about it...

Greatness AND Weakness

2009-08-09T11:31:00.004-05:00

The origin of the thoughts I am about to write probably came from some things I heard at The 2009 Leadership Summit on Friday of this week. Specifically, one of the speakers, David Gergen, in an interview with Bill Hybells spoke words from his book Eyewitness to Power, wherein he tells of the experiences of working very closely with four different American presidents in the White House.

Gergen was asked what he thought was the greatness of each of the four presidents he served. For Nixon he said it was his strategic mind; for Ford he said it was his decency; for Reagan he said it was his hopeful/optimistic outlook; and for Clinton he said it was his resiliency.

Gergen was also asked what he thought was the weakness of each of the four presidents he served. For Nixon he said it was his demons and the dark side of his life; for Ford he said it was his naivete and the fact that he didn't fully understand that politics was a rough sport; for Reagan he said it was his occasional detachment from important details; and for Clinton he said it was his severe character flaws.

Wherever we are, each of us can have moments of greatness. Likewise, wherever we are, each of us will have areas of weakness.

In our human condition, we cannot completely escape areas of weakness. Gergen said that maturity in leadership was a matter of coming to grips with our flaws, and then making sure to put adequate protections in place against them.

Some people who exhibit greatness have been successful in doing this; many have not.

Fast forward to the somewhat heart-breaking news of yesterday regarding the Texas Rangers' superstar baseball player Josh Hamilton. A player whose talent and skills have aptly been described as greatness by many. You can find out more about it on the front page of the Sports Section in the Dallas Morning News today.

Apparently, for one night in January during Major League Baseball's spring training in Arizona, Hamilton willingly slipped back into some of his old lifestyle patterns that previously got him in trouble (involving alcohol and partying), and actual photos from that not-so-flattering brief episode in his life appeared on the internet this week fully exposing his weakness.

Even though he and others had put adequate protections in place to help him keep his areas of weakness in check, he chose to literally "drive right through the stop signs" and slip back into the dangers of his areas of weakness anyway. Now the whole world knows.

However, the model/example that Josh Hamilton displayed in handling this story with the news/sports media is perhaps the best part of his true greatness. He admitted his error. He didn't try to hide it. He declared that what he had done back in January was wrong and asked all those he hurt and/or disappointed by his actions for forgiveness. He openly acknowledged that he still has an area of weakness with alcohol. He admitted that when he lets himself get out from under the protections that are in place to help him with this area of weakness, he will fail.

So what? What's the message here? Well, for me there are several things.

- All of us can have moments of greatness; look for these opportunities to shine. Use the talents you have been given and don't waste them.
- All of us have areas of weakness. Those areas don't necessarily disqualify you from greatness, but you must acknowledge them and then seek to protect yourself from these areas. If you don't, they will totally wipe out any moments of greatness you may have had in the past or will have in the future.
- All of us need to openly admit failure when it happens and seek the forgiveness of those we've hurt/disappointed when our areas of weakness have overshadowed our moments of greatness.

One final word from David Gergen. Oh, if only we would hear what he has to say and apply it to our everyday lives in this country. He said that we need to be much more forgiving and less invasive in people's private lives. But, we need to be very demanding in their public lives.

Greatness and weakness. What are you going to do with the talents you have been given? What are you going to do to protect yourself from areas where you are weak?

There really is no such thing as "free"

2009-08-02T07:12:00.004-05:00

It was my father-in-law, F. B. Anderson, who first taught me the lesson that there really is no such thing as "free." His blunt words hurt at the time he said them, but they have stuck with me longer than I would have imagined. It was a lesson in economics I needed to learn. It's a lesson many of us need to learn today.

You see, Ellen and I were young married "kids" living in our first home that happened to only be four blocks away from my in-laws. We were learning all sorts of things about the responsibilities of owning our own home (versus renting), including how and where to buy stuff on a small budget, etc. I remember somewhat "bragging" to F. B. about a seemingly smart purchase I had made of some bags of mulch for our yard. I told him that I had bought them at such and such a place (I forget the name of it now), and that I had purchased the first bag for "x" dollars and the next one for only a penny! Almost "free" I told him. He looked at me with a look that quickly said to me, "You poor dumb kid!" And then told me this: "All they are doing is selling you the one bag for about what it costs them for two, and then letting you believe you are getting the second bag for only a penny." Boy, did I ever feel stupid.

We all could use a little bit of my father-in-law's old-fashioned, basic economic wisdom today. There really is no such thing as "free."

Have you noticed how today people expect a lot of things to be "free" and/or cost them very little? Whatever happened to the time-tested principles of basic economics in this country? Have we all forgotten what we learned in school about economics (or were we even ever taught the basics of how free-market economies work?)?

This is how I remember basic economics being explained to me. If I make something of value, I can then offer it for sale. It will sell if there is a demand for that product and I have priced it correctly. I expect that by selling my product at a fair price, I will recover my costs and still make a profit. The profit I make on each purchase will help me make more and better products in the future. In a very simple sense, that is how our free-market economy works.

Unfortunately, it seems as though many of us have forgotten these basics. How long do you think people can stay in business if they make products and/or offer goods and services but don't get any money back in return? Who is going to pay their bills and the people who work for them if they give everything away? Isn't it kind of naive and unrealistic to think that we can all get stuff for "free?"

Thanks, F. B. I haven't forgotten the lesson you taught me long ago. There really is no such thing as "free." I sure hope more people learn this lesson, too.

Are we living Nineteen Eighty-Four?

2009-07-25T17:30:00.008-05:00

I had to run a quick errand the other day on the way to work. I needed to stop by a wholesale plumbing supply place to pick up something that we had already ordered and paid for. As I waited for the man behind the counter to locate and then retrieve my faucet so that I could be on my way, I thought to myself, "Are we living Nineteen Eighty-Four?" Here's a few reasons why I'd say that.

You see, there were three other gentlemen and a lady in that big room besides me (and the man helping me). Each of them had already started their work day. Each of them was passively staring at their computer screen, apparently not very interested or engaged in their work. Each of them looked like they weren't quite sure what they were supposed to be doing. They definitely were not talking to each other (or to me, for that matter). Each one appeared to have a relatively sad expression on their face also. Within the same big room was a big screen television, mounted high on the wall and blaring annoyingly. It was Matt Lauer on one of the morning shows interviewing some relatively young whiz kid (?) who had written something about what we might all have to do when gas in this country hits $20 a gallon. This guy was outlining the changes that will be progressively required of us as we march toward this outrageous (but arbitrary and imaginative) cost for gasoline. Let me tell you, it was just plain depressing!

By the way, where we live, gas prices seem to be going down lately versus rising. So, one might ask, "Why was this considered newsworthy and made out to be a big story?" Hmmmm.

That's when I thought to myself again, "Are we living Nineteen Eighty-Four?"

Some of you reading this are probably scratching your heads now and wondering to yourself, "What in the world is he talking about?"

Well, 60 years ago, an English writer by the name of George Orwell published an incredible book entitled "Nineteen Eighty-Four." When I was in high school in the late 60's/early 70's, everyone was required to read it. It's a fascinating book! If you haven't ever read it, you really should.

Basically, Orwell wrote a dystopian novel - that's opposed to a utopian one. It focuses on a repressive, totalitarian regime set in the future - 1984. The story follows the life of one seemingly insignificant man, a character named Winston Smith, who as a civil servant was assigned the task of perpetuating the ruling regime's propaganda by falsifying records and political literature. Smith gradually grows disillusioned with his meager existence as a civil servant. He eventually begins a rebellion against "the system," leading to his eventual arrest and torture.

Undoubtedly, lots of you have heard about some of the concepts from this book. Frequently people will refer to something as being "Orwellian." Or, perhaps you've heard the terms "Big Brother" and/or "the Thought Police?" They are from Orwell's book.

Not to be an alarmist here, but there are times when I really get concerned about how much power cable news media (not to mention news/information in print and on the Internet) has over some of us. Just like the people I briefly encountered in that wholesale plumbing supply place the other day, sometimes we just sit and involuntarily take it all in - whatever the media decides to give us, we accept. Sadly, some of us frequently believe it all to be true, too.

These days, there are multiple televisions blaring in many public places - usually tuned-in to CNN or some other 24/7 cable news channel? They command a lot of our attention and wield a lot of power over some of us. In Nineteen Eighty-Four, Orwell called that "Newspeak," and they even had their own language, called "Ingsoc." They also had the "Ministry of Plenty," responsible for rationing and controlling food and goods; the "Ministry of Peace," responsible for perpetuating war; and the "Ministry of Love," responsible for the identification, monitoring, arrest and torture of dissidents, real or imagined (just to name a few).

Orwell died from the complications of tuberculosis not long after his book was published. In a closing statement to the New York Times Book Review back in 1949 he had these parting words to say: "...totalitarianism, if not fought against, could triumph anywhere."

Are we living Nineteen Eighty-Four? Think about it.

Do I want to be brave or safe?

2009-07-19T10:56:00.004-05:00

The past couple of months have been very, very interesting for me. Sometimes you go through times like this and later look back on them and declare them to be a series of seminal moments in your life. This may be one of those times. I'm not sure yet, but it could very well be. How else do you explain some of the unique events and relatively unexplained "God moments" that have occurred in my life?

It may have all started by reading Mark Levine's very compelling book Liberty and Tyranny, or it may have been by plowing through Richard Stearns' fantastic book The Hole in Our Gospel. It may have continued with possibly a once-in-a-lifetime trip to New Zealand in late June to attend a leadership conference on "Soul Care," or a quick business trip to Ottawa, Canada, soon after returning from down under to dialogue with several colleagues there. As I contemplated and prayed for our daughter Katie's incredible and significant mission trip to India planned for this November and Nathan's mission trip and time spent at an orphanage in Chihuahua, Mexico, this past week, I began to realize that I needed to start paying much more attention to the message I seemed to be getting from God. Finally, an unusual occurance while at lunch with a friend this past Friday, and then finishing Gary Haugen's terrific book Just Courage this morning seemed to tie it all together, forcing me to face a really, really tough question for my life. I believe that God orchestrated all of this for me, and has been continually trying to help me "get it" through these experiences. Even one of the pastors at our church asked this same question of all of us at services on Friday night - Do I want to be brave or safe?

According to Haugen's book, all followers of Christ need to clarify important choices in life. And he believes that for those who have received the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, the choice of the age for us is this: Do we want to be brave or safe?

According to Haugen, followers of Christ need to understand that they simply can't be both. He says that there are four things that hold us back from being brave versus being safe - Comfort, Security, Control and Success.

If we are more concerned about our own personal comforts in this life, we will be much less prepared to experience the adventures God may have planned for us.

If we are more preoccuppied with our own personal security in this life, we will be much less likely to step out in faith, trusting God to carry us through to the other side of the moment.

If we are so into controlling our own lives and the environments that we find ourselves in, we will be less likely to see and experience the miracles that God is already performing in our midst.

If we are so driven by achieving success in this life, we will probably miss out on experiencing a deep and abiding knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Do you want to be brave or safe?

I'm hoping that God is now moving me closer and closer to being brave. I would hate to miss out on the abundant life by only thinking "safe."

Poll numbers, junk science and other untruths

2009-07-12T08:29:00.004-05:00

Has anyone else noticed lately how there seem to be polls out there for just about anything? Who creates these polls, and why are they created? More importantly, who votes in them? I've never voted in the polls seen in newspapers or on other media outlets (except maybe for some random internet polling?). Have you?

I guess polls are what we as a society want these days for truth. If a majority of people in a poll believe something or think a certain way, it must be truth, right? Isn't that how it works?

Has anyone else also noticed that it appears as though you can get the final results of a poll to say just about whatever you want them to say, just by carefully establishing "who" asks the questions, then by carefully controlling "who" answers them, then cleverly disguising "what" your original bias/starting point-of-view really is, and voila! The poll tells you just what you hoped it would! Completely different groups can issue results of polls and get their particular results to say just what they want them to say, even if their results are completely opposite of what some other poll tells you. It just depends on whose poll you look at and decide to trust.

I hate to be cynical, but I really don't put a lot of stock in poll numbers for truth.

Likewise, there is a lot of junk science out there these days. You can find a lot of so-called "scientists" claiming truth at complete opposite ends of an issue. In my simple way of thinking, there really can't be truth very often at completely opposite ends of an issue. Someone must be lying.

Just like the polls, you can get final results of an experiment/hypothesis to say just about whatever you want them to say just by establishing what data you use (and which data you conveniently ignore). Then, you disguise your original bias/starting point-of-view well and the results speak for themselves, right?

Once again, I hate to be cynical, but I really don't put a lot of stock in junk science for truth either.

There are a lot of other untruths out there these days, too. Don't be fooled by them! Lots of people are being fooled by them each and every day. It's really sad...

So, where can we find real truth then? Call me old-fashioned, but for me truth has to be truth both now and a hundred/thousand years ago. Anybody who claims "new" truth even though it just doesn't line up with (or sometimes even completely disregards) historical truth to me is very suspect. I do believe there can be and are new discoveries, but the times that we live in can't be continually making new discoveries that totally disregard historical truths. Smart as we may think we are in this society, we aren't that smart! It just doesn't make sense.

For that reason (and a lot of others!), I really depend on one book for real truth - the Bible. Name for me any other book that has been around as long as it has and is still relevant to our lives each and every day that we live? Precious few books can even come close to making such a claim. It is remarkable to me that you can literally discover a truth for just about any and all subjects in the 66 books contained the Bible. Whether it be about the origins of life, family relationships (including marriage and children), what foods to eat, how our criminal justice system should work, what to do about the poor in our midst, the good and bad of politics, poetry, music, healthcare, your finances, etc. It's amazing! If you haven't opened up this magnificent book in awhile and searched for the truths contained therein, you really ought to.

Poll numbers, junk science and other untruths. Don't be fooled by them! Counter-balance what the secular world has to offer you as truth by looking at the real truths contained in the Bible. Those truths will still be around a hundred/thousand years from now, whereas a lot of the stuff our society mistakenly declares as truth today will be long gone.

Unimportant Things

2009-07-05T11:26:00.005-05:00

As some of you may already be aware, I recently took a trip to New Zealand to participate in and attend a Leadership Roundtable Conference sponsored by Living Stones Leadership Ministries for pastors, elders and other leaders of churches. The overall theme of the event was "Soul Care." We, as church leaders, discussed and then challenged one another concerning the condition of our souls. Each of the terrific speakers gave much needed wake-up calls, so necessary sometimes for our spiritual lives. Personally, this came at a time when I really needed it! I have also continued to be challenged by the words that were spoken in New Zealand ever since returning to Texas.

If you have accepted the grace of God in your life and received the marvelous gift of salvation paid for by the precious blood of Jesus on the cross, I ask you - "What is the condition of YOUR soul?" Have you even thought about your soul recently?

Why is it that we followers of Christ get so easily distracted by unimportant things? Why are we frequently allowing unimportant things to lead us away from our high calling - that is to live lives that bring glory to God, and to tell others about the free gift of salvation?

I am reminded of a great song written several years ago by Paul Smith entitled "Unimportant Things." Read the lyrics below:

Feelings for the moment
They come and then they're gone.
And time shows signs of frailty
To the face that once was strong.
Diamonds don't shine bright enough
To satisfy your soul.
Foolish are the ones who seek
Treasures wrapped in gold.

Why do we face one day
In search of things that slip away
When all that really matters is YOU.
All that really matters is YOU.

It's so easy to live for
Unimportant things.
To lose sight of heaven
As we chase our manmade dreams.
Lord, free us to focus
On what life really means.
And teach us to look past
Unimportant things.

There is so much love to find here
If we take YOUR point-of-view.
So much hope to live for
If we fix our eyes on YOU.
You give comfort beyond any reason
Compassion for our pain.
And mercy that is strong enough
To cleanse our guilty stains.

Why do we waste one day
In search of things that slip away
When all that really matters is YOU.
All that really matters is YOU.

It's so easy to live for
Unimportant things.
To lose sight of heaven
As we chase our manmade dreams.
Lord, free us to focus
On what life really means.
And teach us to look past
Unimportant things.

The condition of your soul is important. As a matter of fact, in light of eternity, it is the most important thing.

How's your soul today?

Please commit with me today to spending more time on your "Soul Care" than maybe you've done recently. It really is the most important thing you can do.

The Oftentimes Tragic Lives of the Rich and Famous

2009-06-28T08:08:00.009-05:00

The headline news of this past week included reports of the deaths of at least three rich and famous people - Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Each one made a lot of money in their time. Each one also made relatively significant marks on our society (if not the world!). They were rich and famous! But in the end, their wealth and notoreity still did not allow them to escape what is inevitable for all of us - that is, physical death.

Why is it that so many of us admire people like this and make it our goal to be like them - to be rich and famous? Have we ever really taken the time to discover what it's really like to be in their shoes - to be rich and famous? Each one of these three individuals were a part of my growing up. I, too, admired each of them at some point in my life. However, I would submit that the lives of these three people (as is so often the case for those who are rich and famous) were testimonies of how tragic things can get because of money and fame. If we really looked at what happens to these people - I mean really looked into the true details of their lives - I am guessing that many of us wouldn't want to have any part of being rich and famous.

Take Ed McMahon for example. He was Johnny Carson's faithful side-kick on the Tonight Show for 30+ years. Always laughing, always smiling, always well-dressed, always happy, always on television and in the limelight, etc. Not a care in the world, right? Well, that's what we all thought was going on in his life. But, if you pulled back the curtains on his personal life and away from the bright lights of the television cameras, there was a lot of heartache and tragedy. Two failed marriages before his third, one of his six children died very young, and near the end of his life a couple of years ago he actually needed financial help from a merciful Donald Trump to even be able to stay in his Beverly Hills mansion. After all the money he made through the years, he was bankrupt at the end. How tragic...

And what about Farrah Fawcett? This Texas girl from Corpus Christi was dubbed one of the ten most beautiful co-eds in America while attending the university in Austin in the 1970's. This designation launched her career in show business, specifically as one of "Charlie's Angels" on the television show with that name. Following one season in that limelight, she became arguably the woman that every woman in America (if not the world) wanted to (and tried to) look like. Every man in America (and the world) knew about the beauty of Farrah Fawcett. From her stunningly gorgeous figure to her thick, blonde, tossled hair, she was considered every man's ideal woman. One incredible photo of her in a fabulous, red swimsuit sold millions and millions of copies (probably all to teenage boys and young men). It appeared as though she was completely at the top of the world - everything was going her way, right? But, after the initial fortune and fame she enjoyed, her life thereafter also included a lot of tragedy. A failed marriage after six years to Lee Majors, a very limited acting career with very little evidence of greatness following several more dramatic parts in a few movies, an out-of-wedlock child (currently serving time for a drug-possession charge in the Los Angeles County Jail) with her long-time partner but never her married spouse Ryan O'Neal, and a persistent lack of respect and privacy over the past few years while dealing with the terrible effects of and costly treatment for anal cancer (including a more secretive trip to Germany to get some relief from the news cameras). From all the reports you can read off the internet, it would appear as though her life ended with unhappiness and a lot of dissatisfaction (not to mention way too early).

Finally, there is the tragic life of Michael Jackson. I distinctly remember seeing he and his four other brothers on TV when they broke out as The Jackson Five in the 1970's (when Michael was only 8 or 9 years old). Wow. They were so good! What great talent! I couldn't get enough of them. My sister and I used to sit and listen to their albums over and over again. And up until the early 80's, Michael seemed to be at the top of his game and more incredible as a musician and dancer every moment he lived. Did you know that he actually lived at home with his parents until he was close to 30, even after making millions and millions of dollars? But then, with all that fortune and fame, what happened to Michael Jackson? It's not a very pretty picture to look at the final 15-20 years of his life. Being rich and famous seemed to really, really change him, and in my opinion not for the better. Michael died at the much too young age of fifty with over 30-40 million dollars in debt, and with a besmirched and sordid reputation involving alleged child molestation, persistent troubles with harmful prescription drug use and unexplained physical disfigurations to his face/body from who knows what treatments he experimented with over the years. Another extremely tragic life...

So, what can we all learn from all of this you say? Here's my thoughts in a nutshell. Be careful what you ask for. Being rich and famous might seem like a great thing to strive for, that is until you actually get there yourself. I'm sure that none of these three - Ed, Farrah or Michael - set out to have lives full of disappointments, heartaches and tragedies. But, that is what seems to find a lot of the rich and famous.

I think I'll start thanking God today for the abundance that I currently enjoy and realize that much more than that might not be very good (or healthy) for me in the long run.

If you have a minute, check out what Proverbs 15:16, Proverbs 16:18 and Proverbs 30:7-9 have to say. Good words from King Solomon down through the ages. Good words for each of us today.

Good 'Ol Benjamin Franklin

2009-06-12T11:47:00.006-05:00

I came across some profound wisdom recently. I thought it was worth passing on. In my humble opinion, we've drifted a long ways away from how Benjamin Franklin saw his world. Maybe it's time we learned from one of our great Founding Fathers instead of just "drinking the Kool-Aid" distributed by people who only think they are hip? Sometimes "hip" isn't where we need to be. Read this and decide for yourself.

Benjamin Franklin’s 13 Principles for Success

During the course of Benjamin Franklin’s illustrious life, he recognized that certain ideologies helped bring him his remarkable success. He developed a simple method to master the 13 principles: he gave special attention to a different principle each week, and in the course of a year, he practiced all 13 principles 4 different times.

1. Temperance – watch what you eat and drink and take care of your body.

2. Silence – don’t say anything if you can’t say something significant or something nice about somebody else.

3. Order – there’s a place for everything and everything should be in its place.

4. Resolution – do what has to be done and do what you say you’re going to do.

5. Frugality – waste nothing and be very careful about the way you use money.

6. Industry – don't waste your time. Get rid of the unnecessary tasks in your life, and always be doing something that is useful

7. Sincerity – be honest in all your communications. No deceit. No manipulation.

8. Justice – It's all about being kind and fair. Or as Franklin put it, "Wrong no one."

9. Moderation – avoid extremes and seek moderation. You don't have to win every argument, for example. You could agree to disagree.

10. Cleanliness – have a clean body, clean clothing, and a clean house, Franklin advocated this.

11. Tranquility – choose your fights carefully; don't get upset about those things that don't really matter. As Franklin wrote, "Be not disturbed at trifles."

12. Chastity – choose morality; no one ever got ahead ... forever ... by doing the wrong things ... for long.

13. Humility – be truly humble.

Finally, Sam Palmisano, CEO of IBM, once pointed this out, "Some of the best advice I ever received was unspoken. Over the course of my IBM career I've observed many CEO's, heads of state, and others in positions of great authority. I've noticed that some of the most effective leaders don't make themselves the center of attention."

The Chatterbox Cafe

2009-06-07T22:57:00.004-05:00

This past Friday night, my wife Ellen and I had the relatively rare occasion (for us) of having dinner out - just my sweet bride and me! Our son Nathan was preoccuppied elsewhere, and it was a great opportunity for us to catch up with each other before heading into the weekend. We went to Papayas, a local family restaurant in our neighborhood that we had been to a couple of times, but not for quite awhile. We had a coupon for a discount (which we didn't end up using after all, but it got us in the door!). Anyway, while we were there, my mind went back to my childhood and the Chatterbox Cafe.

I grew up in rural Iowa, but very close to a little town near the center of the state called Radcliffe. And, Radcliffe had one restaurant - the Chatterbox Cafe. It was where most everyone in that small town (and the surrounding area where I lived) went for breakfast, morning coffee, lunch at noon, and then again for afternoon coffee. People also met their families there for lunch on Sundays after church. It was a very popular place - a place to see and to be seen at. I loved the Chatterbox Cafe.

We all need a place like the Chatterbox Cafe. Why? Because we all need other people. Even though we think we can be independent and isolated from each other (and we may even try to get away with doing that for awhile), we really can't. I am convinced that if you don't interact with other people and/or authentically share your life with someone, you die. God made us for relationship. We are wired for it. The Chatterbox Cafe was where people saw each other, interacted with each other, shared their lives with each other, and developed life long relationships. At various times you might find the same four or five people sitting there talking with each other three or four times a day, every day, 5 days a week, and for maybe twenty or thirty years straight! Being the city/suburban dweller that I am today, I think that might kind of drive me absolutely crazy! But, in small town America, this is how you thrive. On people. You know others, and you make yourself known to others by this daily routine. It's really pretty amazing.

Maybe that's why Starbucks became so popular several years ago. Maybe Starbucks was the more sophisticated, 21st century version of the Chatterbox Cafe?

One thing is for certain, people still need each other, and people can't live independent and/or isolated from each other for very long. If we do, we get sick, we get tired, we get cranky and oftentimes terribly out-of-sorts. We also miss the grand opportunities available to us to know and love other human beings traveling down similar paths, maybe with a different set of circumstances.

Tomorrow, make sure you find your own place to call the Chatterbox Cafe. For some it may be a coffee shop, for others it may be a school or a church. For still others, it may be something as simple as the break room at your place of employment. No matter where it is, get involved in other people's lives and enrich your own life in so doing. Find out about others by spending time with them and investing in their existence (and they in yours).

We'll go back to Papayas again. It was a wholesome and very authentic place. People loved being there together, allowing their lives to completely overlap. It was all very much like the Chatterbox Cafe.

A Series of Fortunate Events

2009-05-31T16:36:00.008-05:00

We watched an unusual and funny movie about a week ago based on a book by Lemony Snicket entitled "A Series of Unfortunate Events." In it Jim Carrey plays a very strange character named Count Olaf (plus several other peculiar cameo roles; basically Count Olaf in multiple disguises). It's kind of a weird movie, but pretty funny. I'm not a huge fan of Carrey, but he's really brilliant in his performance for this movie. Simply amazing! Anyway, the main characters of the book/movie (the three Baudelaire children) seem to have one unfortunate event after another happen to them (largely thanks to the evil nemesis, Count Olaf).

As I was thinking about what to write on this blog during my breakfast this morning and while reading a great book by Richard Stearns entitled The Hole in Our Gospel (given to me by some very dear friends), the thought occurred to me that I should write about a series of fortunate events. I'm incredibly blessed! I've literally had one fortunate event after another happen to me most of my life - all glory to God for His abundant grace!

God has been attempting to radically change my heart the past three plus years concerning my part in meeting the needs of others. He's been continually showing me a lot of need, and then prompting me to see all of the ways He has blessed me so that I can help meet those needs. It's no longer enough to say "I'm incredibly blessed!" What am I doing with those blessings? Let me describe a series of fortunate events that God is using to give my heart a complete makeover.

It was a knock on our front door from some neighbors we didn't know very well, asking for our help with their pets while they were on vacation. It was watching as our daughter voluntarily ministered to these neighbors after they returned from their vacation. It was what I learned from my wife as she also ministered to these neighbors during the year our daughter lived in Belfast, Northern Ireland (and continues to do so even today). It was my experience of becoming dangerously complacent in life with an attitude of "entitlement" for more, even when absolutely all of my needs had already been met. It was learning at our church about building bridges of compassion to others in our community and then actually doing it through ShareFest and other opportunities the past couple of years. It was starting a new Life Group at our church and being confronted with needs much different than my own, not to mention ones I had sadly closed my eyes to for many years. It was spending a lot of time and money getting actively involved in other people's lives, thanking God for each opportunity to do so and make sacrifices where necessary. It was reading more about the incredible needs around the world and being challenged to do more to assist in missions and outreach. It was hearing about our church's Ethiopia project and feeling more compelled to get involved in what God is doing around the world. It was reading about how difficult it is to survive in Africa due to a lack of life's basics - water, food, shelter, clothing, etc. It was having Scripture speak to me about doing things for "the least of these" at every turn of the page.

I could go on and on about my series of fortunate events. But, suffice it to say that I thank God for all He's teaching me and allowing me to experience while He changes my heart.

How about you? Aren't you incredibly blessed, too? What are YOU doing with those blessings?

Speeding Through Life...

2009-05-24T07:12:00.004-05:00

I got a speeding ticket while on a business trip in Omaha the other day. I was clocked at 48 miles per hour in a 25 mile per hour zone! Pretty dumb on my part! Pretty expensive, too ($244)! I was attempting to get a colleague of mine to the airport in a hurry so that he would not miss his flight to Salt Lake City. We were only about a mile or two away from the airport and deeply immersed in our conversation when I got pulled over. It was a shock! I had obviously not been paying any attention to the road and/or the speed limit for that road.

You know, I could probably protest the speeding ticket and try to wiggle my way out of it. It was obviously part of a "speed trap" the Omaha police had set up and it seemed a little unfair for it to be at this particular location. But, the fact of the matter is speeding is speeding. The law is the law. I was going over the posted speed limit so I deserved a ticket. There are many very good reasons for "limits" like this. Sometimes we just need to travel a little bit slower through life.

Earlier in the week when I had been "texting" while I was driving and/or checking e-mails at stop lights, I remember thinking to myself, "I probably shouldn't be doing this. It's probably not safe." What's the hurry anyway? Is it really necessary for me to be handling all of that stuff on the go? I think I'm ready to stop speeding through life...

Why is it that being on the move and always busy seems to be a higher value these days? What are we really accomplishing by traveling so many miles and doing so many things? Is it worth it? Have you (have I) even stopped our busy-ness long enough to think about it? Have you ever taken the time to assess what you are missing by speeding through life?

Since it is Memorial Day weekend, and a lot of us (at least in the USA) will have a day off (a "holiday") tomorrow, here's a list of things for you to consider instituting into your life to try and minimize the negative impacts of speeding through life:

- Take time to sit and think/pray over a good breakfast each morning.
- Slow down on your drive to work and smile at the people in the cars next to you.
- Put up some boundaries for how many hours you'll actually work in any one day.
- Take time to get to know your "neighbors" better (in the next office/cubicle at work, at home, wherever?).
- Compose a hand-written letter to someone special in your life telling them how much you love/admire them.
- Take a walk and really notice the flowers, birds, animals, other people along the way.
- Avoid the internet and social media for a week (or more!) and read a really good book (or two?) instead.
- Plan a vacation at home just to relax and let the time go by.

I'm going to try to take my own advice on this. It will be hard, but speeding through life creates some unintended hardships, too!

A Downside to Being Random

2009-05-16T10:15:00.007-05:00

I'll have to admit from the outset of this post that one of my least favorite words these days is random. I also really dislike the concept of being random. My angst for the word and/or the concept is that in today's culture being random is somehow being elevated to a preferred or elite status. It is as though if you aren't random or don't subscribe to being random, somehow that makes you very uncool. I know this may offend some of you out there because you use the word random a lot and/or you admire the concept of being random a great deal. But, let me explain where I'm coming from.

From the dictionary and Wikipedia, being random implies a lack of order, purpose or cause. It can also be described as a casual sense of a lack of predictability. Furthermore, being random suggests making a choice when there is no logical component by which to make that choice.

I believe that there is a huge downside to being random.

When a society begins to reward/admire a lack of order, purpose or cause, we are headed for trouble. Have you ever been in a totally chaotic situation where there was no order, purpose or cause? How did you feel in that situation? For a short time it can appear to be fun. But, if that totally chaotic situation is allowed to persist for the long term, you can get very confused, feel potentially unsafe and experience futility. No wonder a lot people in our society today (especially Millenials?) are increasingly confused, feeling unsafe and living lives of near futility. In my opinion, that's what happens when being random appears to be the ideal for one's life.

When there is a casual sense of (and/or an out-and-out lack of) predictability to our lives, what happens when you bump up against truths that are in fact very predictable and don't change? It causes further confusion and disillusionment among people (again, especially Millenials?). If you have been taught by the system that there are no absolutes and that in fact everything is just random and by chance, it can be very disheartening when you are confronted face-to-face with the realities that some things just are absolute and always will be and aren't going to change just because our pop culture society tells you that being random is the ideal.

When there are no logical reasons for the choices you make, you may make some choices that you will later desparately regret. For example, just because being random is our pop culture's current ideal and considered to be way cool, if you end up making choices based on that kind of a philosophy, you might totally disregard established laws of nature, historical precedent, biological facts, proven science and/or any other well-known truths. And when/if you do, those choices will be really, really wrong and may end up costing you a great deal.

This past week has been an interesting one. Seems like the weeks get more and more interesting all the time. As a society, we appear to be moving at a very rapid pace towards "randomness" and a form of anarchy, which could also be described as lawlessness. I'm concerned about that. And you should be, too.

There is a downside to being random. Think about it.

Trust

2009-05-10T18:39:00.005-05:00

Today is Mother's Day. What a wonderful family holiday! Our immediate family (minus the "newlyweds" who were out-of-town and greatly missed!), six of us in all, gathered together for a nice lunch at my daughter's house. We had a fabulous time! We ate together, played a game together and basically enjoyed each other's company for several hours! We celebrated our family and thanked Ellen for being "Mom" (and for doing that vital/significant role so well for so many years!). I feel particularly blessed by the day! It was really, really special to me.

Trust. The strength of a family relies on trust. Fortunately for my family, there appears to be a lot of trust amongst us. I am so grateful to God for that! I also want to personally acknowledge Ellen's part in helping to establish that trust in our family.

When a family is very accepting and loving, then everyone in that family will be more willing to extend trust to others outside their family. Ellen is one of the most accepting and loving people I know, and she has modeled that acceptance and love for me and our children over the years.

Trust is really a relationship of reliance. It is predicting what someone else will do based on what you know to be true about that other person.

Conversely, when acceptance and love is lacking in a family, it might be difficult for members of that family to develop trust with each other and/or among friends/acquaintances away from the family.

Trust is a very sacred and fragile thing. It is extremely hard to regain trust if it is ever lost.

I believe that a family is the basic building block of all societies. One man married (before the eyes of God) to one woman, and if fortunate, blessed with several children. It is so simple really. Families filled with trust make for great neighborhoods, great communities, great cities, great states and a great nation. Families lacking trust lead to enormous problems for neighborhoods, communities, cities, states and nations. If families aren't established as they were intended by God to be established, and if trust is broken between family members, is it any wonder that we have the problems we do in our neighborhoods, communities, cities, states and this nation?

Trust. It's what makes a family work well. Without it, we encounter lots and lots of issues/problems. If you enjoy trust in your family, thank God for it. It is a gift! If you lack trust in your family, do whatever you need to do to re-establish it, and then watch to see how much you will be blessed by doing so.

Happy Mother's Day, Ellen! Thanks for always being so accepting and loving of me and our children. Thanks for working so hard to establish and maintain trust in our immediate family.

Violent Storms and Black Crud

2009-05-03T12:42:00.007-05:00

Last night we had some incredibly violent storms roll through the Dallas area. I mean to tell you that these storms (and the accompanying super-charged lightning bolts) were the type that cause you to either think about "running for cover" or even possibly doing so. They were fierce! Fortunately, I'm not aware of anyone in my immediate circle of family or friends who got hurt or experienced life-changing damages to their health or their property (although our 14 year old, Nathan, was out tent camping with a bunch of his friends from church!). I'm sure that many people unknown to me were affected by the violent storms, however. That's the way storms are. Sometimes you get hurt or life changes for you after them, and sometimes you escape their negative impacts completely.

This morning while getting ready to go to church, I noticed that our shower was not draining properly. It was all backed up and the soapy water from my shower was just standing there, not draining away. I told myself that I would have to take care of that problem (if it was still there) when we got home from church. Well, it was wishful thinking on my part to imagine that the clog wouldn't be there when we got home from church (I seem to do that a lot with home projects; that is, ignore them and just hope they go away). The same soapy water was still there when I returned, and it wasn't going anywhere too fast!

The following thoughts immediately popped into my head. "Did the violent storms and torrential downpours last night cause this clog to happen? Did the violent storms wash a bunch of trash/junk into the sewer systems, thereby creating a back-up in our sewage/drain pipes?" It seemed too coincidental to me that the storms and clog occurred nearly simultaneously.

So, I did what every happy homeowner does when you resign yourself to the fact that you have a clogged drain in your house. I got out the trusty ol' plunger and began rapidly pushing it up and down over the drain, hoping that by doing so the clog would be removed and the drain would run freely again. Pretty simple stuff. Clogged drains (and toilets) happen from time to time. It's basic Homeowners 101.

What happened next can only be described as shocking (and maybe even gross!). While plunging the clogged drain covered with the soapy water, more and more black crud got sucked up out of the drain and into our shower after each plunge. As a matter of fact, the harder I plunged, the total quantity of black crud increased greatly, emerging from unknown depths below that clogged drain. Yuck!

So, what's the point of me writing about this? Why would I take the time to tell you all about our gross clogged shower drain? Well, fortunately or unfortunately, God seems to frequently give me spiritual applications to life's common situations. And He chose to give me one for this situation today.

You see, sometimes in all of our lives we can just be going along fine and everything appears to be O.K. on the surface. Then a violent storm hits our life and we may experience some sort of "clog." It could be a major health issue, a sensitive relationship issue, a personal spiritual issue or something else altogether different having to do with family or our jobs, etc. When this happens, we may try to ignore it and hope that the clogged part of our life just goes away. It rarely does. No, it usually takes some really deep plunging to discover what's going on below the surface. And when we do, sometimes a bunch of black crud emerges and it can be gross and embarrassing, not to mention frustrating and humbling. But, it was all that gross stuff below the surface that caused the problem. Until we take the time to get rid of it, our lives really can't get back to normal any time soon. In the long run, it's really worth the delay and trouble to extract the black crud from our lives and get things flowing freely once again.

Tomorrow we call the plumber. He'll bring out his long snake and go after the clog and all the other junk that has built up over time in our sewer lines. Hopefully after he is finished with his work, we'll have a free flowing drain once again and life can get back to normal. Hopefully...

Wanna Get Away?

2009-04-26T11:46:00.004-05:00

Southwest Airlines has some of the best advertisements! One of my favorites (and one of the funniest ever) is their Wanna Get Away? campaign. You've probably seen one of these ads and laughed at it yourself. But, in case you haven't, the premise is this. Someone in the ad does something really stupid and/or embarrassing, to which the announcer for the ad acknowledges (along with everyone else watching the ad) that the only thing that person can/should do is get away from that situation. Southwest Airlines just happens to provide a lot of places for you to get away to. It is really an effective campaign (as well as extremely humorous). We've all been there...

Lately I have been thinking a lot about wanting to get away. As a matter of fact, my sweet wife and I did get away last weekend for a wonderful "Weekend to Remember" in Little Rock, Arkansas. It was wonderful! Really wonderful!

But, what is it about a lot of us that we sometimes persistently feel the need to get away? What are we trying to get away from, and why?

Well, just like in the advertisements, sometimes we have done something really stupid and/or embarrassing and we think that getting away is the only answer to our situation. Just pack it up, move out of (or away from) the situation and start all over again. Sometimes it is just too painful and humiliating to stay in that particular situation and deal with the consequences and/or comments people make regarding our stupid and/or embarrassing mistake. Like I said earlier, if we are honest with each other, we've all been there...

Lately I've had the urge/idea to get away from our country. There are so many things going on in the politics/government of this land that I don't agree with and really don't like. I can't begin to tell you how much I don't like some of these things! So, it seems very logical to me to want to get away. But, where am I going to get away to? There have even been urges to get away from our city, our neighborhood, and/or our house. Sometimes it seems like starting all over with a clean slate would solve a lot of problems. But, would it really?

Since I am going to hit the ripe old age of double nickels (55) this September, I have also been giving a lot of thought to getting away from my job/career (and some of the incredible responsibilities that go along with that job/career). How much longer am I supposed to do this anyway? How much longer do I work at this job/career that I've been so fortunate to enjoy for more than 31 years? What's the next thing on the horizon for me from a job/career standpoint? Somedays I really, really enjoy my job/career. And then there are other days when I really want to get away.

Sadly, there are even some days (and I really hate to admit it, but I'm just being painfully honest here) when I want to get away from some of the people and relationships in my life. Maybe it is the people that I work with who don't seem to understand me or who are moving away from me? Or maybe it is some of my friendships that are different now and I am just ready to move on to someone/something new? That is when I scare myself about wanting to get away.

In pondering this subject the last couple of days leading up to writing this blog, I have narrowed it down to the following three things I REALLY want to get away from.

First, I want to get away from being a quitter when it comes to our country, our city, our neighborhood and even our house. What good does quitting do? Would anything get better if I quit? Who is going to turn our country and city and neighborhood around if not me? Why would I even consider abandoning my part in all of this? So what if it requires a lot more work and a lot more hassle and a lot more prayer? I need to hang in there and influence our future in a positive and godly way. That is what I am called to do as a Christ follower.

Second, I want to get away from fantasizing about leaving a terrific job/career (and the responsibilities that go with it). I have been so blessed by my job/career for many years. Until I am called to the next thing, why not be faithful to the situation God currently has me in? There is still a lot more work to be done where I am. Who's going to do that work if I check out and abandon my post? I need to give it my best effort and make a difference where I am until God moves me to that next place, wherever that may be.

Third, I want to get away from a selfishness/self-centeredness that causes me to even think about leaving certain friendships/relationships. I believe that God brings certain people my way for an express purpose, and He put me in this specific family for His kingdom and His purposes. Who am I to even consider abandoning that just because it is at times difficult, uncomfortable, challenging and perhaps even unpleasant? God is sovereign. He knows just where I am and who I am with. He has me here in these relationships and this family for His well-defined purposes. Why not live into those purposes so that He can take me to the next assignments He has planned in advance for me?

What about you? Are there times when you wanna get away, too? In spite of what the Southwest Airlines ads say, just a quick get away to another city/country doesn't solve anything. Sometimes the best thing you can do when you find yourself in a situation where you wanna get away is to look up and ask God, "What are you expecting me to do in the place You have placed me right now?" Following His plan for your life is much more satisfying and long-lasting than a weekend or month long escape from your current situation.

Taking Credit

2009-04-11T11:13:00.009-05:00

A good friend challenged me this week for not taking credit for something she felt I deserved recognition for. Then this morning, we discussed the whole issue even further. Consequently, this post...

How do you respond when someone else takes credit for something you feel you deserve credit for? How do you react when someone takes credit for something you are pretty sure they really didn't have much involvement in?

Falsely taking credit seems to happen in a lot of places these days, doesn't it? The most prevalent might be in politics and our workplaces. But, this same problem occurs in several other places as well. For example, it happens in our homes, and in our friendships, and sadly, even in our churches.

Where's the balance? Are we banned then from taking credit for something? Is there an appropriate time and place for taking credit, almost fighting for the rights to that credit? Sure.

For example, my son Andy is in sales. A portion of his income is determined by the actual sales that he gets credit for. He should take credit for the sales that he is primarily responsible for bringing in to his company. Also, if you have genuinely written or composed something, you should be recognized and take credit for what you have uniquely developed.

Those are the easy ones.

But, what about when you are part of a much larger team, and the whole team accomplishes something noteworthy? How much credit do you deserve then? What happens when the whole team gets recognition and you are specifically left off of the list of contributors? Kind of makes you mad, doesn't it? But, should it?

I am reminded of a saying that's been around awhile. I have quoted this phrase many times over the years. It goes something like this: "If you have to ask for respect, you really don't deserve it." In other words, if you have done something noteworthy, and have given it your best effort, try to let that be enough. Don't worry about taking credit (or getting respect) for what you've done. If you really deserve it, at some point in time it will be yours. Just wait.

In our human condition, that is so hard to do, however. We want the credit we deserve, and we want it now!

This weekend, if you are like me you are trying to focus your time, attention and "spirit" on the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

He came so that we might know how to live. He died so that our sins would be forgiven. He rose from the dead so that we might have eternal life. He lives to guide us in what we need to do to honor and serve Him. He deserves all the credit.

Read the following verses from an old hymn written by Lowell Mason back in 1824:

"When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died,
My richest gain I count but loss,
And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast,
Save in the death of Christ my God.
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them to His blood.

See from His head, His hands, His feet,
Sorrow and love flow mingled down:
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet,
Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all."

After that, fussing about taking credit seems pretty unimportant, doesn't it?

Thank You, Erma Bombeck (and Katie, too!)

2009-04-05T07:27:00.004-05:00

It was going to be a great Saturday for me to work in the yard, do some landscaping and catch up on some projects around the house. You see, the previous weekend had been the wedding of our son, Peter, and his lovely bride, Kristen, and a lot of things just had to wait until that wonderful event was over. Also, my fantastic wife, Ellen, was out-of-town sight-seeing in Arizona with our friend, Karin (from Denmark; here for the wedding). It would just be Nathan and me at home. We could get a lot done. I could get some much needed exercise and maybe sweat off some of the unwanted weight that had shown up on the scale recently. It was going to be perfect!

Then my incredible daughter, Katie, e-mailed Nathan, Andy and me and asked us to be spontaneous. "Since everyone else in the family is out-of-town, how about if the rest of of us do something crazy fun out-of-town, too?" You see, Peter and Kristen were still on their honeymoon, Andy's wonderful girlfriend, Annie, was in New York City conducting a tour.

At first my gut reaction was "I have yard work to do. You guys go on ahead without me and have fun." Then, the voice of Erma Bombeck spoke to me and said, "Really? Are you sure that's the response you really want to give to your precious daughter?"

By now, some of you reading this are asking, "Who in the world is Erma Bombeck?" Erma Bombeck was an American humorist who wrote a syndicated newspaper column from the mid 60's to the mid 90's. Unfortunately, she contracted a kidney disease in 1996 and died following an unsuccessful kidney transplant. But, one of the famous writings she penned after learning that she was sick was "If I Had My Life To Live Over." In this piece (which you can find on Google, by the way), she voices some of the things that probably all of us have done at one time or another, but maybe lived to regret? She closed with this:

"But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back."

Well, that's why I want to thank Erma Bombeck! Because yesterday I think I seized every minute, looked at it, really saw it, lived it, and I'm never giving it back! Thank you, Katie! Thank you, Southwest Airlines! Thank you, Andy! Thank you, Nathan! And thank you, Phoebe, for meeting us in St. Louis!

It was CRAZY from the beginning! The four of us met at 8 a.m. at Andy's apartment. We then drove to Love Field (where Katie works and has fantastic "privileges" as a Southwest Airlines employee for non-rev travel), parked the car, and caught a direct flight to St. Louis. Now I travel for a living (not really, but there are times when it seems like it!). It was so weird for me to not have anything but a newspaper with me on the flight! No briefcase, no laptop, no concerns about the meeting I was about to attend, etc. Yes!

When we landed in St. Louis, we bought day passes on their Metro Rail and embarked on our St. Louis adventure. First stop? My old stomping grounds - University City, Missouri! Yes! When I graduated from college, this is where I lived and worked. We went to one of the places I remembered from the late 70's for lunch - Blueberry Hill - and my niece, Phoebe, met us there! Yes! Did I tell you that we were all wearing matching t-shirts (Andy's idea, sort of) - the Ellwood Pancake Breakfast ones we had printed last year for our 30th annual New Year's Day feed? Phoebe got one, too. It was great!

After lunch we walked a mile or so to the next train stop and just missed that train heading to the St. Louis Arch. Oh well. Another one was coming in 15-20 minutes. But, that meant that our tickets to the 1:30 p.m. boat cruise would be compromised. Rats! So, thanks again to my resourceful daughter, Katie, we called and got the tickets changed to the 3:00 p.m. cruise on the Tom Sawyer instead. Yes!

When we got to the Arch, there were over 200 people there having a pillow fight! Ha. It was CRAZY! We went to the river, the 1840's cathedral there, and just lounged around awhile enjoying the sweetness of the moment under the Arch. Then we got on the boat and took a one-hour cruise on the Mississippi. I got really sunburned! I loved every minute of it.

Did I tell you that our flight back was at 4:40 p.m. and we didn't step off the boat until 4 o'clock? Not to worry. Once again, my sweet daughter, Katie, got on her cell phone and determined that we could probably go stand-by on the 5:15 flight. We were still about 45 minutes from the airport.

After a great train ride with a stop to part ways with Phoebe and say good-bye, after which she called out, "See you next weekend?" (since she had been to Texas the weekend before for the wedding!), we headed for the airport.

Now, I mean to tell you, I have made mad dashes to catch planes in my lifetime, but none quite as CRAZY as this one. We stepped off the train at 5 o'clock and RAN!!! We made the 5:15 flight by continuing to run and by not putting our shoes on after going through Security, and were taxi-ing out to the runway at 5:13 p.m. Yes!

Is that crazy or what? Did we have a great time? You bet. Did it cost me a Saturday working in the yard and around the house? Yeah. Was it worth it? Heck, yeah!

Thank You, Erma Bombeck (and Katie, too!). I am so grateful to God for spontaneity and fun with family! If I had my life to live over, I'd do it all again. You can do yardwork, exercise, lose weight, and things around the house anytime. But, a CRAZY trip to St. Louis for the day may only come along once in your life...

Seven Reasons for JOY!

2009-03-29T08:00:00.005-05:00

This weekend my immediate family experienced a "first" - the marriage of our son, Peter, to the lovely Kristen. It was a FANTASTIC experience for all of us and this morning I am still absolutely filled with JOY!

Since it is JOY that is overflowing in my mind and soul today, I thought it would be a great time to express the reasons for JOY in this blog. I have seven. I'm sure I'll think of a few more as the day goes on, but this is what I came up with at 8 a.m.

Reason Number One - To see Peter's face and observe his excitement as his radiant bride came down that aisle, all I could think of was JOY! To see Kristen as she approached Peter with loving parents on either side and tears flowing down her smiling face, all I could think of was JOY! A man and a woman that prepared/ready/willing to commit themselves totally to one another and the Lord they serve is the best reason for JOY!

Reason Number Two - No matter where you are or where you've been or what mistakes you've made, a wedding signals hope for a fresh start and new beginnings. That's why I love going to weddings with my sweet wife, Ellen. Each time I do, it causes me to appreciate her even more and to recommit to loving her for the rest of my life. That's another reason for JOY!

Reason Number Three - How incredible is it that so many family members from far and wide would all gather together in one place just to experience a short 25 minute ceremony at a church? But, a wedding is so much more than that! A wedding is family, and a wedding basically creates a new family. Call me old-fashioned, but family is what really brings massive amounts of JOY!

Reason Number Four - Another incredible thing about a wedding is how willing your friends and family are to help with the arrangements and celebrate the experience with you! As we drove away from the parking lot of the country club where the reception was held I couldn't help but thank God for all of the incredible friends who did so much to make it all possible for all of us to experience so much JOY!

Reason Number Five - For months now, Ellen and I have had to talk and plan and wrestle with the details of our part in this wedding. But, in so doing, we have experienced a great deal of "connected" time with each other, and with Peter and Kristen, and with so many others. These times have definitely enriched our lives and while they involved a lot of work and planning, I wouldn't trade them for anything! All JOY!

Reason Number Six - To witness our other three children (Andy, Katie and Nathan) leading in such marvelous ways as the wedding approached, and expressing so much love for Peter and Kristen in the process, and demonstrating so much unselfishness on their behalf, there is no better gift that children could give to a father than that. All JOY!

Reason Number Seven - I can't even believe that God has allowed me to have this much JOY! Thank you God for giving me the opportunity to be a father and to have this opportunity to experience the wedding of one of my children. Wow! I am a truly blessed man!

The most incredible thing happened as I was finishing this post. I got a text message from the newly married couple thanking us for their JOY! Now I am even more of a blessed man through all of this!

The high cost of leadership

2009-03-22T06:55:00.007-05:00

When you are a recognized leader of something, you can no longer be just a "Regular Joe." In the eyes of a lot of people, you can't just say whatever you want to say anymore. Everything that comes out of your mouth will be evaluated/criticized by somebody looking to you as a leader.

Just ask President Obama about this.

This past week, he chose to try to be just a "Regular Joe" on Jay Leno's show (why he would choose to do that as President of the United States is questionable?). Apparently, in the course of talking with Leno about living in the White House, the President was asked about the bowling lanes that are in the basement there? And Jay Leno asked him what his bowling score was? And Obama said he bowled something like a 129? As everyone in the audience started laughing at that pitiful score (?), the President made a very off-handed comment while laughing himself that went something like this, "Yeah, it was kind of like the Special Olympics."

Oops! Hey Mr. President, you can't say something like that now. You are the recognized leader of the United States of America. Everything you say and do is being filmed and recorded, and your life is now under a microscope. The whole world is watching! You can no longer be just a "Regular Joe" and make wise cracks like that.

Needless to say, President Obama had to quickly apologize to several people, not the least of which was the head of the Special Olympics program. And this all had to be done within hours of the gaffe, just to make it right with everyone and contain the damage caused by his words.

The high cost of leadership.

But, it's not just President Obama who has to watch what he says/does. If you are the recognized leader of something, you have to watch what you say and do, too. As much as you might want to just be a "Regular Joe," people will be evaluating (and possibly criticizing?) your every move.

I am always taken aback at my work when people say something to me that reveals that when they look at me and/or listen to what I have to say, they are thinking, "This is coming from a Senior Vice President and the Chair of the Design Council." Likewise, at my church the same thing happens and the words might be something like this, "These are the words/actions of a Life Group leader and elder of our church." Even at home, my family can sometimes be shocked when I laugh at something, enjoy a certain movie or say something that might be a little bit different than what they would normally expect from just plain ol' Dad. No more "Regular Joe" for this guy!

Am I complaining? No. Is it frustrating at times when people have much higher expectations of you than they should? Yes. Is it good to have high standards for the behavior of our leaders? Of course.

If you are a leader of something, you should set a higher bar for your behavior and be a better example of living than a lot of other people. But, leaders make mistakes and have feet of clay, too. Sometimes they are just "Regular Joe" people who have reluctantly stepped into visible leadership positions and are completely depending on the grace of God to carry them through (and not make too many mistakes!).

The high cost of leadership can be expensive for a "Regular Joe" like me.

Aspiring to be a "Third Brother"

2009-03-15T12:37:00.005-05:00

Unfortunately for me, I am the only boy in my family of origin (except for my Dad, of course). I have two wonderful, older sisters, but no brothers (even though I did have a foreign exchange student brother from Norway live with me for a year in 1971-72). Fortunately for me, God blessed Ellen and me with three sons (and a terrific daughter, too). Andy, Peter and Nathan have experienced all the beneficial aspects of "brotherhood," including the great time they had together this past weekend for Peter's bachelor party in advance of his marriage to Kristen on March 28th.

Brothers are something special. I've seen it in my son's lives. But, today I am aspiring to be a Third Brother. What is that you say? Let me explain.

One of the ways I keep up on current affairs is to read World magazine - my favorite! That every-other-week publication has several excellent writers. One of the best is Marvin Olasky. He usually has something really relevant and thought-provoking to say. His writing usually causes me to think extra hard from a Christian world view about what's really happening in the world around us. He really hit the nail on the head in the February 28, 2009 issue with his article entitled "Prodigal Sons." (See link below.)

http://www.worldmag.com/articles/15022

In this article he suggests that we should aspire to be a Third Brother, that is as opposed to the other two brothers in the biblical story Jesus told about the Prodigal Son.

I am commiting today to try to think/act/speak like a Third Brother should. In these confusing times when there is so much as Christians that we could react negatively to and/or get really angry/disheartened about, a Third Brother would take a different path than that and be more concerned about changing people's hearts, not necessarily their actions, their words, their politics, their religion, or their views.

Read the article yourself and then think about it. Do you aspire to be a Third Brother?

Whatever happened to gratefulness?

2009-03-10T07:33:00.003-05:00

Last week, we received the sweetest hand-written thank you note from a very special person in our lives. In it this sweet person actually expressed a lot of heartfelt gratefulness for something we had done - gifts given. How nice! Tonight I will need to sit down and write a couple of hand-written thank you notes to special people who showed me great kindness/love and generous hospitality this past weekend when I was in Arizona. I am so grateful for what they all did to make my visit/stay nice and I don't want to take that all for granted. But, I actually started rationalizing in my head the following thoughts: "Do I really need to write a note? Didn't I thank them enough in person already?"

Whatever happened to gratefulness in our culture/society? Why did I even think that I could get away with not formally thanking someone for kindnesses shown/gifts given?

In light of the current situation we find ourselves in as the United States of America, I am wondering if the biggest problem we have as a nation isn't the fact that we have somewhat forgotten our manners and how to be grateful? We have been blessed beyond imagination as a people, and yet it seems like all we hear these days are complaints and lots of people shouting "What about me? What are you going to do for me?"

What if everyone who read this post decided to start thanking God (and each other, as appropriate) for all the ways we have been blessed and/or assisted in each other's richness/well-being? What if our first impulse at the start of each day (and throughout the course of each day) was to continually thank God and the people in our lives versus just accept blessing upon blessing without ever thanking the One who has given so much? What if the most common words out of our mouths (and written down) were words of gratefulness? Doesn't it seem to you that a lot of our unhealthy self-absorption and fussing over silly issues would somewhat melt away if we were more concerned with who we could thank versus who we should complain to?

What about you? When was the last time you thanked God for your life and each breath and hope for tomorrow and your very existence? When was the last time you actually took the time to write a hand-written note to people in your life thanking them for a gift or some other kindness they bestowed on you?

Whatever happened to gratefulness? Let's make a decision today to bring gratefulness back to our daily routine. Let's set the bar higher than those around us by always being grateful and then watch to see how attitudes and outlooks about life get transformed when we model gratefulness (versus self-absorption and complaining). Give it a try!

Thanks for reading this post! I am grateful for the freedom to be able to do this!

God Help America!

2009-03-01T11:10:00.003-06:00

The more common expression for the first two centuries of our existence as a nation has been "God Bless America." But, given the current condition/status of the United States of America, I don't think we can ask God to bless our country anymore than He already has. Rather than more blessings, I am beginning to think that our greatest need is for His help, not more blessings.

Take the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (the so-called "stimulus package" passed by our Congress recently) for example. Is anyone else tired of hearing about how this act is going to "save the day" for us and make everything right again in this country? Even if that were true (and I believe it is not), at what cost will this "saving the day" happen? And more importantly, who's going to pay for it? Seems like we are acting more and more like Alice in Wonderland or Pollyana as a country these days. We are willing to believe just about anything and anybody (to our apparent long-term detriment). We are all hopeful that "this too shall pass." But, is that really being responsible/wise? Have we crossed the line and there is no turning back to the way things once were?

Read the following quote attributed to Alexander Francis Tytler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh. Apparently, this is what he had to say about democracies (similar to our form of government here in the United States): "A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, nations always progress through the following sequence: from bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependence; and from dependence back into bondage."

From the looks of things in the news these days, I would have to say that at 233 years (and counting) we as a nation are dangerously close to the "dependence" stage in our democracy and heading towards the "bondage" stage at the not too far away end of our democracy. You can hardly deny the facts. They are all around us. I guess we've had thirty-three more years than the average democracy, but that is hardly any consolation for those of us who really love this country and what it's stood for. God Help America!

So, what do we do? Just wring our hands and give up? Hardly. Seems to me the best thing we could do as individuals (and as a nation) at this point is to fight with all our might against all the "traps" that got us to this place. If you have abundance, don't let it cause you to be complacent. If you are complacent, don't let it cause you to be apathetic. If you find yourself apathetic towards this great country of ours and really don't care about what happens (politically, morally, governmentally, etc.), fight against allowing yourself to grow dependent on anyone or anything other than God. Fight! The existence of our nation depends on you and me. Do something/anything to avoid slipping into a bondage situation with our government. It's not too late, but we are closer to the end than most of us imagine.

God Help America!

It's all maintenance

2009-02-22T07:16:00.004-06:00

In life and my "adult" years, I've learned at least one very important thing - it's all maintenance.

For example, this past week I got sick and was battling it almost every day. I even had to resort to actually taking some medicines, which for me is quite unusual! Whether it was the normal trouble I have with my allergies this time of year, or the effects from a common cold, or a nasty virus I caught, or a combination of all of these, my body was screaming at me to slow down, take some time to relax, monitor what I was eating, get some additional sleep, and think about where I was going (and whether I even needed to be there, etc.). You see, in my foolish haste to take care of so many really important things (?), I had been moving along much too fast in life and hadn't really been taking very good care of my body. You can sometimes get away with that for awhile, but sooner or later without some day-to-day, routine "maintenance" for our bodies, our health will go bad (and get a lot worse) until we stop and take care of the mess we've made and/or get rid of the germs we've collected. It's all maintenance.

Yesterday was another example of how it's all maintenance.

There was the morning shower and overall scrub up to get clean (and hopefully stay a bit healthier). There was the bill paying and managing of our household finances. There was the interactions and conversations I had with my sweet wife to make sure that we were staying connected and on the same page with all the things happening in our lives/family. There was the long overdue oil change for my car and the cleaning it so badly needed for the outside. There was the taking of our personal computer from home in to the store for repairs because it had gotten a bad virus and was completely screwed up. There was the nice lunch I had with my oldest son who I hadn't really had a long, one-on-one, thoughtful conversation with for weeks. There was the haircut I got because the hairs on my head (albeit fewer today than in the past) needed trimming. There was the "catch-up" time with my 14 year old son (while his mother is out-of-town for several days) going to see a movie together and then spending an evening at home enjoying each other's company. There was the cleaning, straighening up and putting dishes away that needed to be done before turning in for the night last night. It's all maintenance.

Tomorrow (Monday) it will be more maintenance. Talking with my boss and staying connected with what he needs/wants me to be doing. Turning in expense reports from last week's travels so that I don't get behind on reimbursements. Meeting with employees that work for me at lunch who have had to get by without much direction from me for the last week or so while I've been trying to recover from my ailments and/or preoccupied with other activities/projects. Catching up on all the other things that have piled up in my e-mail while busy with a project and/or traveling last week. It's all maintenance.

Yes, in life it's all maintenance. But, the most significant "item" to maintain by far is my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Just like everything else in life, if I don't actively maintain this relationship, it can get stale or sick or suffer greatly. And frankly, if you get out-of-whack in this relationship, nothing else really works very well either. You cannot ignore any relationship and expect it to flourish, especially not the one with Jesus. Relationships take time. They take listening. They take studying and learning. They take conversations. They take looking back and looking forward.

Just as I unfortunately allowed myself to get too busy and move in way too many seemingly important directions (and/or be involved in way too many seemingly important activities), I eventually had to pay for it by getting sick. Then it became a huge deal to "correct" that situation so that I could just get back to where I needed to be. If we don't maintain, we pay. And sometimes that payment is way more trouble/work/effort than if we had just taken care of things properly all the way along.

You can kid yourself into believing something else if you want, but I've learned that in this life it's all maintenance.

Attention Deficit

2009-02-15T14:55:00.005-06:00

For the past thirty plus years or so there's been a lot of talk in the news and media about Attention-Deficit Disorder (ADD). More recently it has even been upgraded to a new term - ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). It is basically a common neurologic disorder that develops in younger children (most often boys) causing them to be easily distracted in school and sometimes unable to pay attention to teachers/adults in certain more structured environments, etc. This is not really something to joke/laugh about or even disregard. It is real. But, I also think it has become kind of the universal diagnosis for a lot of young boys who are just being young boys! But that is not what I am trying to write about here. Attention Deficit is something altogether different.

I remember the times when our children were a lot younger than they are today. Frequently they so much wanted to be with me, and to have me do something with them. Anything! They would persist and persist with the following: "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Watch me! Do this with me! Help me!" etc. Almost to point of annoyance! (As I think about it now, it would almost be kind of welcome today! Ha.) Anyway, it seemed to occur most frequently on the weekends when I was at home, and usually when I was trying to get a lot of other really important (?) things done. If I chose to ignore them (sorry kids, I did that a few times more than I care to admit), they persisted and maybe even got a little louder in their pleas! Did I say it was annoying? I can't believe that I felt that way now, but I know that I did.

As I got older (and wiser) as a Dad, when our children started off on their quest to grab some of my undivided attention, I started giving it to them sooner rather than later. And you know what? The strangest thing happened. If I gave them five minutes of my time (maybe ten), they were good for awhile and I could go back to what I was doing. Their desire to have my full attention was somewhat allayed just by giving them some attention for a little while. Amazing!

It is not just small children that have Attention Deficit these days. A lot of us do! We so much need/want someone's full attention and we won't give up until we get it (or until they get so annoyed that they walk away from us!). What's worse, if we don't get attention from the first person we "need" it from, we usually transfer that Attention Deficit to the next person (and the next and the next) until we finally get our Attention Deficit taken care of somehow.

Have you ever been around someone with Attention Deficit? Isn't it amazing if you just give them a little bit of personal attention how they soon are satisfied and just leave you alone? But, if you don't ever give them some truly undivided attention, they will mercilessly persist and persist and persist (to the point of being really annoying) until you turn and give them your undivided attention. Just like what used to happen with my kids.

What about you? Do YOU have Attention Deficit? Well if you do, here's something else I've learned through the years. If you take that Attention Deficit and just start investing yourself in other people, it is AMAZING how quickly your own Attention Deficit disipates. Not always, but usually. If I think about the needs of others first, giving them my full attention for awhile, and stop focusing mainly on my needs only, I usually end up in a good place and am not nearly as needy as I once was.

Attention Deficit - it's real. Take care of it. Think about others first.

The End of an Era (almost?)...

2009-02-08T07:37:00.004-06:00

For the past 16+ years at the Ellwood household, our tradition/pattern from early September through to mid-May (basically the old-fashioned school year) is to have a "Wisdom Search" in the morning to start our homeschool. And, I have been the "leader" of this activity. This is my primary contribution to our homeschool. There have been times in my life when I have felt like leading "Wisdom Search" was my sole purpose in life. What could be better than a Dad sitting around the breakfast table with his wife and children at 7:15 a.m. studying the Bible together? It has been a remarkable run! I am so grateful to God for all the sweet memories and for all He has taught me through these "Wisdom Search" episodes.

But, like all good things, sometimes they have to come to an end. We're not there yet, but we might be getting close. You see, we only have one "student" in our household these days (Nathan) and the demands of my job (and business travel associated with it) have been pretty enormous. Our last official "Wisdom Search" was the morning of November 18, 2008. Today is February 8, 2009.

While I am really O.K. with letting this tradition/pattern go (it has served us well through the years), for Nathan's (and Ellen's?) sake I need to replace it with something else. You see, as the spiritual leader of this family, it is my responsibility to God to teach/guide/instruct/admonish/love those in my charge for their benefit (Ephesians 5:25-27).

It used to be quite easy to do these "Wisdom Search" times when my job wasn't quite as demanding as it is now. I would just carve out the 45 minutes of time routinely on weekday mornings before I'd go to work. Now, going to work a lot of times really means "going to the airport" and I am frequently away from Ellen and Nathan two or three nights a week. Not very conducive to consistency in doing "Wisdom Search" preparations and/or teachings.

So, I am soliciting ideas from all of you who read this for how "Wisdom Search" can be replaced in the Ellwood household for Nathan's (and Ellen's) benefit. Perhaps I could just move up to the 21st Century and do my teaching/training on this blog?

Separation Anxiety

2009-02-01T11:58:00.010-06:00

This post will have two parts. The first part will be primarily for those of you who are parents of a child who is at least +/- 10 years old. The second part will be for those of you who are yet to be parents and/or have children who are still very young...

Those of you who are already parents remember the time when you first started leaving your children with someone else. Maybe it was at church. Maybe it was with your parents. Maybe it was with a babysitter. You did all you could do to prepare your child for "the drop-off." You made sure they were happy, fed and had a clean diaper. You tried to occupy them with one of their favorite toys or some other distraction. And then you began to walk away. Everything was going fine until your child discovered that you were leaving. Most children at an early age experience some sort of "separation anxiety" at that point. They'll cry. They'll throw a fit. They'll misbehave. They'll do anything to try and get your attention so that you'll stay with them. It is really a terrible moment as a parent. You say to yourself, "I need to have some time away from this child. I must leave them for a little while." But then, you have to make a decision. You have to decide who is in charge. Who is going to determine what happens next - You or the child. As many of you know, even though the child is crying and fussing, they usually get over it. It may take awhile and the poor nursery worker at the church or your parents or the babysitter has to listen to loud wailing for awhile until the child realizes you're not coming back right away. It's tough, but you have to do it. You can't always stay with the child. You have to begin the process of breaking away from them, even if for only a little while. Those of you who are parents of older children remember and you know just what I am talking about. Right?

Several years later, your child grows up. Now they are the ones who start leaving YOU. And even though there is a part of you that maybe is all too ready to let them go, deep down inside of you there is a compulsion to fight their leaving with every fiber of your being! You can't wail and fuss like a baby, but you sure do want to! "What do you mean you are leaving? I've cared for you, bought things for you, played with you, built my whole life around you and your activities for the past 18+ years! You can't leave! What am I going to do now?" But, they go. And then YOU are the one with separation anxiety. And it really, really stinks! You know that you have to just let them walk away. You know that they will come back again. You know that they'll be alright. But, for the next several hours, days, months, whatever (?) they will be gone from you. And you have to do all you can to fill the void in your life with stuff that suddenly doesn't involve knowing everything there is to know about the activities of your child. "What if they don't do something right? What if they make a mistake? Why are they leaving me? Don't they realize what this is doing to me?" Agony. It just really stinks!

Nobody told us it would be this way. You get in a groove with parenting and you kind of like that groove. You get the hang of how to care for and raise your children and really like being able to guide all of their activities. You build your life around them and all that they do (their activities and their accomplishments, etc.), and then one day, they're gone. And it's different. And you have to get used to it being different. And you may not want to. You have a bad case of separation anxiety!

But, you have to move on. You need to separate from them (at least somewhat), and they need to separate from you, too. It's really the only healthy thing to do. You gotta do it...

That's all for the first part. If you have been there or are currently going through it, you know exactly what I mean.

Now for the second part. For those of you who are yet to be parents and/or still have really young children at home, this is your WARNING. Your children will someday grow up and move out of your house. That's what they are supposed to do. That is what you raise them to be able to do. But, it is really, really hard to live through and adjust to. It is a BIG life change! My advice to you? Deal with it. Make the changes you need to make and then build new lives around something other than the daily activities of your kids. They'll be fine. You'll be fine. It's all part of life. Oh you'll still participate in their lives (and you should!). But it will be different. And that takes a lot of getting used to...

Honestly, I still long for the days when Andy, Katie, and Peter still lived here in our home. I haven't made the adjustment yet. I want to, but it is taking a lot longer than I ever thought it would.

Praise God that we still have a few more years of Nathan living in our house!

Momentum - Being/Getting on a Roll!

2009-01-25T12:12:00.005-06:00

When I was growing up in Iowa, there was a very small community in the state (Lisbon High School - Class A) whose wrestling team seemed to win State nearly every year. As a matter of fact, I believe their team won State 14 different times over a span of only 20 years in the 70's, 80's and early 90's. Remarkable! During that run, my sister and her husband moved to Lisbon, becoming teachers in their school system. After a couple of years there, I asked them "Why is it that Lisbon wins the State wrestling championship so often?" What they told me was really interesting and has stuck with me all this time. You see, apparently almost all boys in that school from the time they are in the first or second grade start dreaming about being on the high school wrestling team and becoming a State champion. They actually start wrestling at a very early age, and way before they even needed to think about it, they began determining what weight they would wrestle at (since that's how it works - you are paired against someone of similar weight when you wrestle). These boys saw "success" before them all the time (students K-12 attended classes in the same building). It inspired them to want to be a part of that success at a very early age. That school's wrestling program had momentum! They were on a roll!

Yesterday I attended a Leadership Training seminar at our church. It was just OUTSTANDING! There is a new, young pastor named Jason Williams who primarily put it all together for us and he did a fantastic job (even though he's only been in his current position for about 6-7 months)! These leadership training sessions occur once or twice a year for the small group leaders in our church, and they just seem to be getting better and better. What is it that makes this happen? Well, just like the athletes at Lisbon High School, our church now has momentum! We are on a roll! The young pastors and interns we have on our staff have dreamed about doing excellent ministry because they have seen the other older and more experienced pastors do it before them. When they have a chance to "get in the game" so to speak, they step up and generally have similar (if not better?) successes! They are inspired and propelled to do their best because they very much want to continue the terrific pattern of success set by others before them.

Last night I also had the wonderful pleasure of attending a couples wedding shower for our son and his soon-to-be bride, Kristen. It was a terrific event and touched my heart in so many, many ways! We gave our daughter, Katie, a ride home after the shower. It was interesting to hear her reflections on the upcoming marriage of her brother and witness how excited she really is for him and his fiancee! Peter and Kristen will soon begin their marriage, and will establish a life/family of their own. In the course of discussing what she looks forward to and/or anticipates with regards to marriage, Katie made several references to our marriage and how we've handled things in it. She knows for a fact (because we've told her) that it hasn't always been easy. We've had to work at it, and after a little over 28 years, we are only just now beginning to get the hang of it - to understand what God wants two people to experience in a marriage ordained/blessed by Him, totally sold out to each other and trying to live completely for HIM! But, in a lot of ways that is to be expected for Ellen and me. This past summer, we helped celebrate my parents 60th wedding anniversary in Iowa. Ellen's parents were married for almost 50 years before her dad died. Her maternal grandparents were married for almost 70 years when her grandmother passed away in 1993, and my maternal grandparents had over 44 years together before my grandma died in 1968. You see, we've observed people before us have tremendous success in their marriages (if by no other measurement than longevity!). Our parents (and grandparents) built up some momentum, and got things rolling. Now we are attempting to continue that momentum and keep it going through our off-spring and others in our circle of influence (all by God's divine assistance and grace, of course!).

What about you? Have you experienced some successes in your work, your family, your spiritual life, etc. that you'd like to use to develop momentum to continue? Are you on a roll in any of these areas? It takes a lot of work (and God's blessing) to do it, but there is no time like the present to start. Think about the legacy you could be creating for those coming behind you...

Ctrl - Alt - Delete

2009-01-18T12:08:00.005-06:00

I am guessing that most of you reading this post are doing so on a personal computer of some sort. Therefore, you know at least the basics of how they work. As a matter of fact, with most personal computers, you can't even "log-in" without doing a "Ctrl - Alt - Delete." It's a curious procedure really, isn't it? Like, why were those three keys (in that exact succession) selected? Why not "Insert - End - Tab" for example? But I digress...

The point is that whoever invented and perfected the operation of personal computers knew that there needed to be some sort of "system" by which a user could command their personal computer to start (that is if they had the appropriate password), and they chose "Ctrl - Alt - Delete" for doing that. In their wisdom, they also knew that there would be times when a user had a need for "escaping" a program or some other procedure when completely bogged down, or when encountering a huge problem, or even for when you are in the middle of something and your computer freezes up and you just need to go back a bit to discover why things aren't working as well as they did at one point in time.

Have you ever hit "Ctrl - Alt - Delete" in your life? I don't mean literally. I mean in a figurative sense. I know I have.

For example, there was a time in my life a year or so after I graduated from college when I just needed to start something new/fresh. The life pattern I was developing was taking me in a terribly wrong direction. I needed to just start over. It took me totally stopping what I was doing long enough to get my whole life system turned in a completely new direction. If I hadn't done that, I couldn't have moved forward. "Ctrl - Alt - Delete."

Then there was that time in my life when I really needed to escape the career/job I found myself in because it was completely bogging me down. I was going nowhere. I needed to take a few steps back and try again. Not throw everything away, just back up a bit to get back to the place where I got off track and try again. This time with the bad experience behind me as a guide to keep me from going there again. "Ctrl - Alt - Delete."

There have also been other times (more frequent than I probably realized until I started writing this) when I've encountered huge problems, things way bigger than what I could ever get through by myself. In those times, I've needed to figuratively hit "Ctrl - Alt - Delete" just to get perspective. Without proper perspective I really couldn't move forward. When life froze up on me, for those times when I just wasn't moving forward at all because of my own bad choices and/or the immense problems I was facing, I sometimes had to just go back a few steps and try to discover why things weren't working very well. What was the cause? What were the reasons? How did I get so far off-track? And then, once I discovered what the problem was, where I had left the track, I sometimes had to take some pretty drastic measures to recalibrate my life just so that I could in fact move forward again. Not easy to do, but definitely necessary. "Ctrl - Alt - Delete."

I believe in a God that designed us and also knew that we would at times mess up our lives. That is why He gave us a "Ctrl - Alt - Delete" to use when we need to start something new, when we need to escape something that just isn't working, and/or when we need to get HIS perspective on things and take some drastic measures to get back on track with our lives. His "Ctrl - Alt - Delete" is achieved through confession (I John 1:9). I'm so glad He created that for us because I've needed it many, many times in my life.

Praise God for His "Ctrl - Alt - Delete."

I'm really going to miss him...

2009-01-11T17:26:00.005-06:00

In just 9 days, the United States will inaugurate a newly elected leader for our country. To be honest, I did not vote for Barack Obama. He seems like a very likeable, charismatic guy, but I just don't agree with most of his policies and/or the things he says he wants to do in governing our country. So, I'm not all that excited about this man being in office for the next four years (even though his will be an historic presidency - the first black American to be elected to the highest office in the land is definitely historic!). I do greatly respect the office, however, and as an American, I will support our new president. I will also be praying for him. Furthermore, I wish him great success!

But, what about that other guy who has "survived" being in office for the past 8 years? Today's Dallas Morning News features several articles about our current president - some that are "fair" and some that fall into the category of the same old Bush-bashing and media second-guessing that we have become accustomed to for way too many years.

After reading those articles it caused me to think. And, contrary to popular opinion, and contrary to what is currently the politically correct thing to say, I'm really going to miss George W. Bush as President of the United States.

There. I said it. Some of you are shocked right now and saying to yourself, "What an idiot! How stupid of him to say such a thing (especially in a public domain like this blog)!" Well, I'm sorry; just stating my opinion. Last I knew, we still had the freedom to do that in this country. Last I knew, we didn't have to fear retribution for saying something like that. Last I knew...

Political correctness has never been one of my strong suits, or something I'm known for. As a matter of fact, there have been many times when I've been in the seeming minority with some of my opinions. Especially political ones! But in this case, I believe my admiration for George W. Bush as president is for reasons other than political. I admire him for who he is and what he's done. Let me elaborate a bit.

I admire him because he is a fellow Texan and a fellow believer in Jesus Christ.
I admire him because he loves and protects his wife, and has been totally faithful to her.
I admire him because he is a loving dad. In spite of the demanding circumstances of public life including very little family time and "privacy," he has done what he could to shelter and protect his daughters from the sometimes ugly spotlight they were placed in at a very awkward time in their lives.
I admire him because he is not unwilling to leave the presidency in 9 days; he knows that his time in office is completed and that he has done what he could over the past 8 years. Now it is someone else's turn. Good for him! He doesn't need the office like some politicians do. He is more than happy to step back into private life and enjoy it.
I admire him because he is a straight-shooter and has never tried to be something he's not (overly intellectual or "uppitty sounding" in his speeches, etc.).
I admire him because he worked very hard behind the scenes to keep me, my family and this country safe and free from the vicious attacks of terrorists since 2001.
I admire him because he has withstood an unbelievable amount of negatives, slander, untruths, and hatred while doing his job, but hasn't allowed it to either defeat him or cause him to be bitter about life.
I admire him because he has "survived" the presidency for 8 years even when all decks have been stacked against him from almost the beginning. What a testimony of perseverance! Many other lesser men (or women) could not have survived what he has been subjected to. I'd challenge any of you reading this to even try to imagine being in his shoes for just one day; I dare say many (if not most of us) wouldn't even be able to stand it for a half a day! The demands of the office are enormous; the responsibilities overwhelming.

Is George W. Bush a saint? No. Is he the greatest president of all time? No. Has he made mistakes while in office? Of course. After all, he is human. None of us (not even Barack Obama!) is perfect, for goodness sake (See Romans 3:23).

But, let me just leave you with this final thought. George W. Bush is not the devil. He is not the absolute creep many have made him out to be over the past 8 years. He is not the worst president we have ever had in this country. As a matter of fact, "history" may prove that he was in fact a pretty good president after all...

I'm really going to miss George W. Bush as President of the United States.

The Value of "Connection"

2009-01-04T11:51:00.006-06:00

Truth is, I am a real loner at heart; I really prefer being alone more than I want to admit. But even I understand the extreme value of being in close connection with others - especially fellow believers in Jesus Christ. We really NEED each other. We were created for "connection."

This life concept has really been driven home to me in several powerful ways during the recent Christmas/New Year holiday celebrations. Let me explain.

First, on Christmas Eve, my wife and I had the happy occasion of seeing some of our really dear Christian friends (and you know who you are!) at church. These friends used to live near us and attend church with us, but have since moved a couple of times and are now about to move yet again! As we spoke, you could tell that there was still a strong desire for "connection" between us. We all felt it. It is something really, really special. And of great value, too. We are still connected, but in a much different way. We long for the day-to-day connection we once enjoyed.

Second, on January 1st we celebrated the new year by inviting many of our family and friends (plus neighbors, co-workers, people from our church, our children's friends, etc.) into our home for a pancakes and sausage breakfast. We've been doing this for 30 years now, and it has become a huge part of our family's holiday tradition. This year a most amazing thing happened. A friend of ours who we had somewhat lost contact with over 15 years ago showed up at our front door. She and her family moved away from the area and experienced way too many trials and life changes. But, unbeknownst to us, she recently moved back to the area by herself. We did not know that she had. So, when she showed up at our annual pancake breakfast gathering, we knew that she also desired connection again.

I'm sure that I could go on and on with other examples of how we have experienced valuable "connection" and just how much we personally value it. But suffice it to say again, we were created for connection and we all need it.

So, who are you connected to these days? Are you even "connected" at all? And if you are connected, are you connected to the right people? Where are the people you're connected to taking you? Closer to the Lord, or farther away from Him?

Since it is the beginning of a new year, I resolve to value "connection" even more so in 2009. I want to make sure that I enjoy all the various benefits that connection with others brings. I want to reach out to those who are not now connected in community and try to help them get connected in some beneficial way. Because without connection, we can become unhappy loners - selfish, self-centered and disconnected.

Who in their right mind would choose that? Get connected!

To whom much is given, much will be expected...

2008-12-28T06:47:00.004-06:00

This year at Christmas, I have been thinking a lot about a very familiar expression. Perhaps you've heard it, too. "To whom much is given, much will be expected." You see, it has been made very apparent to me over the past several months that I have been given a wonderful life! My family has been blessed beyond imagination! Sometimes we can have a tendency to take blessings somewhat for granted, even forgeting where they are coming from. Sometimes we need a "holiday" like Christmas to remind us how truly blessed we really are.

Throughout 2008, we have been offered numerous opportunities to give. We have been prompted to share what we have been given with many along our path (family, friends, neighbors, people in our community, etc.). I am happy to report that we have responded to several of those promptings, and with JOY and hopefully a very generous spirit. However, I am sad to report that we have not responded to all of the requests that have come our way. Maybe it is unrealistic to think that we could respond to all the requests that are out there; there will always be more "need" than resources to satisfy the need it seems. But, I've had to ask myself this very penetrating question: "Why have we balked at some of the requests, but responded to several others?" I don't really have a hard and fast answer to my own question. I can only ascertain that God prompts us to respond to some needs, but potentially tells us to take a pass on others?

Each Christmas Eve, I have a special tradition of calling some dear friends of mine, Herrick and Mary Smith, in Florida. They are still a wonderful model and example to me of incredible "giving." I try to emulate their totally selfless generosity whenever possible, but especially at Christmas. You see, back in December of 1979, I found myself alone (and away from any family or friends) in Gainesville, Florida, at Christmas time. I was about to begin a "temporary" job of teaching Landscape Architecture at the University of Florida. After only meeting me once or twice, and knowing me for just two or three days, they still chose to invite me to attend Christmas Eve services at their church. They also invited me back to their home to share Christmas dinner with their family and friends. Amazing! It wasn't like they were extremely wealthy or the food/gifts were anything special. They had a very modest home and it really wasn't fancy at all. But, the way they were so willing to give whatever they had to someone like me who had a need is still an incredible witness to me of the expression "to whom much is given, much will be expected." Out of hearts filled with the love of Christ, they gave. And they gave willingly and abundantly. Wow! Thanks Herrick and Mary for being such great examples to me of "to whom much is given, much will be expected."

Therefore, I try to model Herrick and Mary's generosity to my family also and live by the overall intent of this expression - especially the second half of it. Not in a legalistic or "payback" sort of way (God really doesn't operate like that). It's not like we have to give because we have been given to. No, rather it is because there is a basic responsibility that goes along with abundant blessings. We have the privilege of sharing the abundance we have been given. I am so very grateful for that privilege.

God help me to have a pure heart to share, and the willingness to see the needs You have placed in my path...