Politics / Civility – Be good citizens of our country

In the midst of the season we are in (an approaching election in the U.S., a world-wide pandemic, unrest in many American cities and elsewhere around the world), I challenge you to read with an open mind Romans 13:1-7.

Read it again, this time more slowly.

Could God’s Word be more relevant to our times? Saying these words out loud might start a fight with some. You may even be tempted to do what the United States' third president Thomas Jefferson did with verses he was not in agreement with – he literally cut them out of his Bible. That's really not an option for anyone who says they believe in God's Word. So, we need to keep our scissors in the drawer.

Why are these verses so inflammatory to us? I believe it is because we have become a very independent and obstinate people. None of us are too happy about giving someone else authority over us. We prefer to be our own authority, deciding what is best for us ourselves. We no longer value good citizenship enough in the United States.

But some of you might protest, doesn’t the Bible say our citizenship (as believers in Christ) is in heaven? Yes, it is. However, Romans 13 also tells us we are not excused from our responsibility to the government we are placed under (by God). We hold dual citizenship.

If we flout the authority over us when a decision is not to our liking, that works against the common good of all of society. Romans 13 tells us that our civic responsibility is to submit to authority. Rebellion against what God has ordained for our common good brings negative consequences.

It is important to remember that the Apostle Paul wrote this to Romans who were under the authority of the Emperor Nero at the time. Paul was warning Christ followers not to identify with revolutionary movements advocating for rebellion against Rome. Similarly, Jesus faced intense pressures from zealot elements in His time in Palestine (Israel). But Jesus refused to endorse those zealots’ use of violence to achieve their ends.

Now read Romans 12:9-21. We receive instruction here on how to face a hostile world – “do not repay evil for evil” because that only follows the inclinations of our sinful flesh. We are to hold to a higher standard as followers of Jesus Christ.

Finally, even if an authority over you appears unworthy, the government established by God for our common good is not unworthy. 

Now, regarding Romans 13:7 and paying taxes – where is my scissors? Ha.

Actually, I am to pay my taxes. I am to respect all who hold public office. And, I am to honor God completely with my life.

God's Word is powerful and important to us today (Isaiah 40:8).

Essential All's

Our oldest son from New York City called this morning to give us an update on what’s going on with him out there. Lots of closures throughout the city. Lots of “social distancing” required everywhere in the midst of that mass of humanity. This all affects his job and his ability to go into work (and do just about anything else for that matter). Following our conversations with him, I became fascinated with the concept of what’s “essential” in this world we live in?

Webster defines essential as what is “absolutely necessary; extremely important; fundamental or central to the nature of something or someone.”

When you think about it, what is really essential anyway – especially in light of what’s going on in our world right now thanks to the coronavirus pandemic? Essential. Hmmmm…

Over the years, I’ve heard about “essential oils” but I'm not very familiar with them. As I understand it, these are "essential" in the sense that they contain the "essence of" a plant's fragrance — a characteristic fragrance of the plant from which it is derived.

Not sure if I’ve ever actually used essential oils, as least knowingly? But, in contemplating many different thoughts and ideas in the past few hours, I started wondering if as a follower of Christ there aren’t several “essential all’s” that I can be doing as a fragrance of Christ in response to this world crisis?

Taking a cue from Galatians 5:22-23, what follows are nine all’s I’d like to challenge each of us to consider while we have this forced pause in our normal life patterns:

1.     All of us can love people like we’ve never loved them before. Reach out to your neighbors and find out if they have a need. Love them in the midst of this crisis when they might be fearful or negative or angry. And, if you don’t know your neighbors yet, use this time to think about how you can get to know them when that will be appropriate. Think about loving someone in new and different ways. 

2.     All of us can be joyful somehow, even in the midst of this crisis. If you are reading this, you have life and breath and the ability to connect with someone electronically. Something to be joyful about! It has been said that joy is good for your health (Proverbs 17:22). Proverbs 15:13 says that a “joyful heart makes a cheerful face, but when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.” Think about being joyful.

3.     All of us can seek peace. We can pray for our country, our leaders, our families and our future. We can seek to do whatever promotes unity (versus division) in our crazy world. We can avoid things that make us overly anxious or excessively tense - things that cause us to actually be at war with one another at times. Think about ways to seek peace in the midst of this storm.

4.     All of us can be patient with others (especially those with whom we really would rather not!). Be an example to those around you of what it means to trust the One in Whom we can literally trust our very lives. Think about the immediate needs and concerns of others around us, not just of our own selfish desires. Provide an extra measure of grace to those around you. Think about being patient at all times.

5.     All of us can be kind. Communicate with your loved ones somehow as often as possible (in spite of this "social distancing" we are required to be doing). Find out their needs and exhibit compassion for them daily. All of us can provide some form of comfort to others who need it. All of us can take this time to improve on our relationships, especially those that are strained. All of us can give/be generous in some way to the benefit of others. Think about being kind.

6.     All of us can be good. What can you learn during this time, especially with regards to helping others? What can you give up for someone else's benefit? Look for ways to be creatively good now so that you can share that same good once this crisis is over. Make at least one phone call each day to whoever is on your mind. Ask God to reveal His purpose for your life in the midst of this crisis. Think about being good.

7.     All of us can be faithful. Place your trust in the One Who is sovereign over all things. Share the Good News of the Gospel with those who need to hear it, especially during this time of uncertainty. Point people to the reason for your hope. Be grateful for at least one thing every day. Pray for our missionaries around the world who desperately need our fervent prayers at this time of uncertainty. As much as possible, ignore your fears and place your trust in the One Who created this world and holds it all together. Think about being faithful.

8.     All of us can be gentle. Look for ways to encourage someone somehow in the midst of this crisis. Read a good book or two (or read one to someone else). Ask for forgiveness from those whom you have wronged in the past. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in the coming days, giving you wisdom for the times we are living through. Don’t be overly hurried or distraught about anything. Think about being gentle.

9.    All of us can exercise self-control. Turn away from media that is negative and scary, causing you to panic or be angry about everything. Pray for and thank those who are putting their lives on the line each and every day to solve this crisis. Put aside your own selfish desires and think more about the needs of others around the world. Submit your life to the One Who holds all the keys to all of life and then pursue happiness unceasingly.

The thing about essential oils is that they provide healing effects and induce relaxation. I am hoping that these “essential all’s” provide healing, relaxation and a fragrant aroma to all those around us. Let’s use this time in our lives to share a characteristic “fragrance” of hope from the One Who created the recipe for same.

Life is Long

Last weekend, I was introduced to a new phrase (at least it was new to me). After hearing it spoken several times in a few hours, I asked about it. What was the meaning of the phrase "life is long?" All this week I have been pondering that phrase and giving its meaning a lot of thought. Here's my two takes on the phrase "life is long."

It was our son, Andy, and his beautiful girlfriend, Maddie, both from New York City, who introduced me to this phrase. They were our house guests for a quick 30 hours last weekend. We sure did pack a lot into that amount of time! It was our first time to meet Maddie in person and we had a wonderful time with both of them while they were here!

Anyway, after hearing each of them use this phrase at different moments in our conversations, I asked about it. They told me that it had to do with the blessing of life giving you second chances, opportunities for do-overs and improvements when you need them based on what is now behind you. What was done in the past, whether it be yesterday, last week, last year or even several years ago, doesn't necessarily have to define your future. Isn't that a great idea to have the perspective that "life is long?" Even though the phrase was new to me, I have certainly experienced the benefits of this concept in my life.

Because thus far my life has been long, I have been able to learn from my mistakes and attempt to do things different the next time based on my experiences. This has been true in my life both personally and professionally. Imagine if you didn't have the perspective of "life is long." If what you did yesterday, last week, last year or even several years ago trapped you. That would be a terrible way to live! I am convinced that with God's help, we each have opportunities every day to start fresh, to blaze new trails, to learn from what happened in the past and to write new stories. Hallelujah!

So, life is long. Except when it isn't.

Juxtaposed to Andy and Maddie's visit last weekend, I was mourning the loss of a very dear friend. He died last Saturday from heart failure. He was only 63. For my friend, Al Bryant, life wasn't long. It would seem that his life was cut way too short and I am really, really going to miss him.

However, after attending Al's funeral service yesterday, his life was in fact very long, and very full, and very productive, and one of tremendous impact! You see, Al's primary purpose in life was to love people. And love people he did! He not only loved just about everyone he ever met, he also purposefully pointed them to the One who could provide a greater love for all eternity, for the salvation of our souls - that is, Jesus Christ. It was remarkable to me to hear all the stories about all the lives that Al touched in his short time here on earth. As I was lamenting not reaching out to him more and spending more time with him these last several years, I began to realize, "When would he have had time for me anyway?" He was busy loving people, and loving more people, and loving even more people every day of his life! 

Al is an inspiration to me! His life was cut short (humanly speaking), but he made every effort possible to honor, love, serve and tell people about his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ while he still had breath in his lungs. Even though his days on this earth were shorter than mine, what he accomplished for eternity was truly remarkable and incredibly inspirational.

I still like this new phrase "life is long." I especially like how it has been revealed to me to have multiple meanings. Thank God for second chances and opportunities for do-overs. Thank God for strength to persevere when given more time to make improvements based on what I've learned from my past. Similarly, "life is long" for opportunities to share it with others, loving them well. But, what am I accomplishing for eternity with the days/years I am given? Will what I am doing count?

In closing, I am reminded of some lines that may be familiar to you from the poem "Only One Life" by C. T. Studd:

Only one life, yes only one,
Now let me say, 'Thy will be done';
And when at last I'll hear the call,
I know I'll say 'twas worth it all';
Only one life, 'twill soon be past,
Only what's done for Christ will last."

Life is long. Think about it. 
         

My Six Months of Irresponsibility is Over Today

It may not be until this stage of life that you can even offer words of wisdom. Let's face it, earlier in life you really haven't lived long enough to truly know and understand much. But, since I am soon approaching my 65th birthday, maybe I have lived long enough to actually impart some wisdom? You be the judge after reading this blog post.

Today marks six months since my official "retirement" from working life. In some ways it's hard to believe that it's already been that long. In other ways it seems like I've always been retired. Suffice it to say, I am still loving retirement! No question about that!

In contemplating writing something for today, it occurred to me that I might be having my own "Ecclesiastes" moment. What I mean by that is that I felt a need to call an assembly to hear my thoughts on retirement thus far, similar to how King Solomon did something like that in his book in the Bible. Solomon looked back, noticed life as a breath or a vapor, pondered his life's purpose, asked whether what he strove for was worth it, and questioned whether he'd lived life as he should have to that point. Not sure if all of that will come out in this post, but I'll give it a try.

Solomon started his book by saying: "...words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem." Well, I haven't ever been a full-time "teacher" in my life, and I'm certainly not the son of a king. But, I am amazed at the profound influence my Dad (a "king" to me) has had on my life (especially in the past year as we mourned his loss). I literally think about him and miss him every day. I wouldn't say that ours was an inseparable father/son relationship. But, I would say that his life has totally affected mine in ways innumerable. His life, well-lived, guides much of what I do and say and think every day. I am so very grateful for that.

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon spoke of a variety of miscellaneous topics about his life. I'll use several of those same topics as my framework for thoughts in what follows.

Pleasures - Solomon warned his readers that life can be a lot about gathering and accumulating - houses, gardens, treasures, etc. We are so fortunate to have a house that we love, a small yard that we enjoy and more than enough resources to live on comfortably. I am so grateful for that. But, there is an emptiness if enjoying pleasures like those is all you have. If all you are living for is the next pleasure you can experience, that won't be nearly enough and you'll never be satisfied.

The Mystery of Time - Our lives go by so very quickly. Reflecting back on the good life I've enjoyed thus far is a blessing, for sure. My life has been very full and for that I am extremely grateful. However, no one knows for certain the exact number of days you are given in this life. Only God knows that. So, these days I'm trying to live life with eternity in mind. I'm trying to enjoy the time I'm given, remembering that each minute, hour, day, and year is a precious gift from God.

Loneliness - Since I am not in the working world any more (with numerous friends and colleagues to interact with), my life could be somewhat lonely if I let it be. Therefore, I've discovered the vital importance of getting out of the house and interacting with other people more often. Not for the purpose of earning a living (as in my past), but rather to foster and deepen key relationships with the people God has placed in my life at this time. I've already discovered that it can be so easy to isolate from others at this stage of life. Therefore, I constantly need to make a concerted effort to call or e-mail people I know and love and/or schedule specific times with family, friends and neighbors so that the potential of loneliness is minimized. I need other people in my life.

Caution in God's Presence - As with my previous working days, obedience to God's calling and being careful with the words I say is still an important principle to live by in retirement. I really don't want to be one of those old guys who keeps talking even when those around me have stopped listening! Yikes. Hearing what other people have to say is important. Vows that have been made need to be fulfilled. Promises offered to others need to be kept. I must remember that all the riches and health/wealth I now enjoy are immeasurable gifts from God. I experience great happiness and maximum fulfillment when I do!

Wise Sayings/Avoid Extremes/Friendships Important - I am discovering that it is really important to share what I've learned in life with others. It's also important to avoid daily temptation extremes (in eating, spending, entertainment, etc.). The pent up demands for "doing what I want to do" (now that I can!) must be avoided constantly. In addition, proactively cultivating dear friendships while looking out for the needs of others around me (when I now have the time and resources to do so) is vital. I really need to continually be reminded to not waste the relationship opportunities I'm given each day.

Enjoying Life - Time spent with my wife, Ellen, each and every day is becoming more and more precious to me. It has been a big adjustment for both of us, for sure! But, as we do the hard work of getting to know each other more deeply (and completely) in these early days of retirement, I'm more and more convinced the rewards and payoff for doing so will be so worth it (for all the years to come).

The Burden of Folly - I am amazed at how tempting it is every day to want to just waste time or let time drift and not be useful or productive. Not that every minute of every day has to be totally useful or productive. But, there are golden opportunities every day to accomplish tasks and/or make a difference in other people's lives (if I am looking for them). Why waste those? Settling for silly stuff or letting my mind be occupied with stuff that just doesn't matter for eternity seems like such a folly.

Invest in Life - It has become painfully obvious to me as of late how important it will be to nurture and protect the great health I currently have going forward. And, I don't just mean physical health (although that is very important). Emotional, psychological and spiritual health is every bit as important. For the number of days I am given in this life, I want to live them in the best health possible, with gladness and joy to the max. But, that requires daily investments!

Solomon's conclusion at the end of his book was: "...fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity." He also said: "For God will bring every act to judgment, including every hidden thing, whether good or evil." My conclusion thus far is very similar. I want to remember that each day is a gift from God. I also want to remember to glorify God with everything I do. All things matter, even in my retirement years. I want to always be useful, always be heavenly-minded, always love people, always invest in other's lives, always serve those who I come in contact with, and always enjoy knowing that all blessings I enjoy come from God. He is the reason I even have the opportunity to be retired.

I'm still learning a lot about life, and still looking forward to the next milestones that come my way in retirement. I am very grateful for the privilege of even crafting these words and sharing them openly with all who read them. I don't have any more "cover" now for being completely irresponsible. I hope the next six months will be focused on acquiring and exuding additional wisdom for the rest of my retirement years, however many that may be.

It is fitting to note that at the end of this six months period of being completely irresponsible, I grew a beard for the very first time in my life. We'll see if it lasts...

Retirement - The First Hundred Days

It's been approximately 100 days since I retired from HDR in December, 2018. In some ways it seems like a lot longer than that. In other ways I say to myself, "It's been that long already?" In short, I am absolutely loving retirement. I still feel so blessed to even be in this amazing situation - unbelievably blessed, blessed beyond imagination actually! But, as it says in the Bible:

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, even more will be expected." (Luke 12:48 CSB).

Leading up to my retirement, people would ask, "So what are you going to do when you retire?" My tongue-in-cheek answer became: "For the first six months, I want to be completely irresponsible." You see, I've had a bad case of the responsibilities for a long time and felt like I really needed to just chill and let each day come as it might for a while - not have too much of an agenda; be little more relaxed than I was prone to being while working. I'm still in that first six months and am probably failing at being completely irresponsible, but I am (with the help of my sweet wife, Ellen) learning to be a lot more interested in enjoying life versus just accomplishing tasks. However, a leopard cannot  change his spots either (Jeremiah 13:23). Enjoying life and not fussing over the details? What a concept.

So, the purpose of this post is to reflect on some of the things I am learning in retirement and impart some other ideas about retirement to all of you who read this blog. Hopefully the next few minutes will be an interesting and thought-provoking read for you? If not, my apologies.

First of all, I feel like I am actually enjoying life for the first time in a long time. That is not to say that I didn't enjoy life before. I did! But, rather than feeling pressure to earn a living, accomplish tasks, and be completely responsible, I am actually beginning to realize that just enjoying life here at our home is really okay to do. Ellen has done this for years and has really been a big help in getting me there. I'm actually loving doing more domestic chores and activities with her. Why not help with more things around the house, in the kitchen, with the cleaning, etc. and free us up for other activities away from here together? I'm still in my "detox" phase of this, but learning to love life and experiencing all good things (with Ellen's wonderful help). I'm loving it!

How absolutely freeing it was to throw away my desktop calendar and just use my cell phone for "commitments" and other scheduled activities. Wow. I was so calendar-obsessive before I retired. Literally everything went on my calendar (or on a "things-to-do" list). Way too often I was overly concerned with where my time was being spent and how fast I could get things done. I had to fill out a time sheet and keep budgets for my time after all! So now I'm learning to relax more and not be so driven by time (and lists!). Still have a long ways to go, but I'm learning to enjoy the freedom.

I've recently discovered I don't need to take anything to the dry cleaners anymore. As a matter of fact, one of the first things I did was rearrange all the clothes in my closet, placing the more casual attire in the primary locations (because that is all I wear anymore!). Some of you who know me well know that I always seemed to want to be more "dressed up" versus super casual. Still have that bent, but I am not missing wearing office attire each day at all! Casual clothes everyday is wonderful! I might happily also admit to staying all day in my pajamas, too! Not more than a dozen times, I'm sure. And after all, why not on those cold winter days? Just because I can. SMILE.

The final few months/years of working, traffic to and from work here in the Dallas area was causing me to want to move to the country and get completely away from it (and fast!). The morning drive to work and evening drive home from work were my very least favorite activities. Now, we can travel the highways and byways in the middle of the day and avoid a lot of the congested Dallas traffic. Sweet! It is so fun to be able to be out during the day and not have to fight traffic. I'm actually beginning to enjoy living in the Dallas area again!

Quite a shock to my system was the first time I found myself at Kroger after a morning doctor appointment. I happened to look around and observe who was at the store with me. Seemed to be a lot of really "old" people and people with various visible needs (I hope they weren't saying the same thing about me?). All of a sudden I asked myself: "How did I get in this demographic?" Well, get used to it, Bucko! That's where you are these days. You are now a part of the retired masses in America and there's no turning back! Ha. I still forget to ask for Senior discounts and such. I did join AMAC (in lieu of AARP), however. How did this happen to me? I don't feel that old?

At the first of the year, Ellen and I got away for about nine days to an east Texas lake house (thanks to some very good friends' wonderful generosity!). Ellen ended up dubbing it the "retirement summit" as unbeknownst to her, I had prepared about eight or nine "topics" for us to discuss while we were there (of course!). We also read several books, went for long walks, slept in late a few times, and just thoroughly enjoyed exploring, dreaming and eating at various restaurants in that lovely lake community (and loved every minute of it!). One of the topics we discussed at the summit was friendships/relationships. Who did we want to make sure we invested in and made time for in our retirement years. Rather than just "friendships of convenience" (people from work, church, in our life group, neighborhood, etc.), who do we want to pursue intentionally, hopefully fostering greater and even deeper relationships going forward? In this day and age of pseudo-connections and oftentimes very shallow friendships (thanks to our strange, non-committal American culture and social media, etc.), how can we make sure to have true friends and healthy relationships for the long haul? Do people even call each other on the phone anymore? Do people even write letters to each other anymore? Do people just sit and talk at length with each other about what's on their hearts and what's important to them anymore? What could we do to foster this idea and develop richer, more fruitful  friendships/relationships in retirement? (And, let's make sure our immediate family is not excluded from this pursuit.) I am still working on this; still having to get over lame ideas like "Well, I don't want to bother them; they are probably busy with work or their family and all." I really need to step out and swim against the stream of our culture on this one to make good things happen. But, I am totally committed to eventually succeeding in this pursuit. Having solid and beneficial friendships/relationships in retirement (and for the rest of my life) will be very, very important to me and to my family.

So, that's a little bit about the first 100 days. What about the next hundred? Well, I still have some time left in my six months of complete irresponsibility. Thank goodness! But, for now, a few things seem to be prominent on the horizon for my future:

OUR CHURCH - I have begun to do more and more tasks and activities with our church and it's wonderful leadership; I am writing more for our church's daily devotional and allowing myself to be much more available for other initiatives/activities that need energy and assistance there. I hope this will continue for a long time to come.

EXERCISE AND HEALTHY LIVING - I am starting to be concerned with getting more exercise and living a more healthy lifestyle. Still need to work on this (a lot!). I am discovering how easy it would be to just get really lazy and very sloppy with all of this in my retirement years. As a matter of fact, I have talked myself out of a good three-mile walk and talked myself into having another cookie way too many times already! I will need a lot more discipline and greater perseverance to exercise and eat right in order to make healthy living happen! Pray for me...

HEALTH INSURANCE AND MEDICARE - I still need to wrestle health insurance and Medicare (upcoming) to the ground. Ugh! Nobody is going to do it for us (unless any of you are volunteering to help?). And, the sooner we get it done, the sooner the constant junk mail and random, unsolicited phone calls preying on us "soon-to-be-65ers" will stop. Man! How did we get here?

JOY - I really want to have joy every day. I want to always have a willingness to give and share and make myself available to the needs and other urgency's around me, all without feeling a personal responsibility for all of it, and without making it a have-to for me. A want-to is so much better. I really need to thank God every day for His abundant provisions for us, and to inquire of Him every day as to how to use what He has so generously given me/us best for His kingdom and His glory. And then take joy in all of that. So far to go on this one, too.

I am loving retirement more than I thought I actually would. I was not the sort of person who couldn't wait for retirement years before it happened. I really loved my work at HDR and tried to give it my all and my very best efforts. But, for now at least, this is so much better. I am blessed beyond imagination and grateful for all of it!

To God be the Glory!

Crumbling Pots

It was probably about 36 years ago. I was a young and very inexperienced design professional (landscape architect-in-training), working a job I really loved (and thought I was pretty good at, too).

That was when I had to learn some valuable lessons on life from crumbling pots.

I had designed what I thought was a really cool project - a "roof garden" at a hospital's expansion in Decatur, Illinois. It was definitely unique, innovative, and not a standard approach. Essentially, my design was the placement of various-sized geometric wooden pallets in decorative patterns all over an otherwise normal (and ugly) conventional roof, primarily to be viewed from the hospital expansion's new patient rooms. The pallets would be where hundreds of various-sized clay pots would be placed. They would then be filled with potting soil and planted with shrubs/flowers to provide the "garden" part of the design.

Conventional thinking at the time for roof garden design required placement of considerable depths of soil over roof areas, then installing landscape plant materials in same (like a typical garden). That was not possible for this project due to restricted structural loading (weight concerns) for the building's roof, as well as for a lot of other relatively complex and difficult construction/maintenance and drainage realities. As a wide-eyed, novice designer, I wasn't going to let restrictions keep me from coming up with some way to make that roof a garden. There just had to be a way, and I was convinced that I could avoid that restriction.

As the design was being finalized, I was receiving all sorts of accolades from my peers for creating such a unique and unusual design. However, some of my co-workers were skeptical. They were surprised that I had been able to convince the hospital's administration to spend a significant amount of money on such a folly. But, in my headlong pursuit of "greatness," I was confident that it would all work in the end somehow. I pressed on with completion of documents for construction, at times ignoring concerns brought to my attention by other more experienced design professionals. I wasn't interested in hearing what these "naysayer" colleagues had to say. Rather, I was preoccupied with dreams about how it would all turn out. How great it would be to photograph the results when complete. How proud I would be of my accomplishment.

About two years or so later when construction and installation for the roof garden was finished, Voila! My design was in fact cool! Everyone seemed to love how it all looked. I received numerous congratulatory comments on the design and adulation for coming up with the idea and seemingly progressive uses of common materials, in ways that were unique for roof gardens at that time. All was good.

Fast forward another two years. I received an unsolicited and rather excited phone call from my client. "Hey, Mr. Architect. What are YOU going to do about all these crumbling pots on our roof?"

Over the course of two winters, the realities of the elements (freezing and thawing) had ravaged my design. Almost all of the clay pots had crumbled in place. What was once considered a great triumph for me became a huge embarrassment and costly mistake. I had not done my homework. I had not researched the givens and realities of my design. Something that I thought would be a path to greatness (and cool) was now putting me (and my company) in a terrible position. We had a very unhappy client. I was ultimately responsible for creating something that didn't work. I was to blame and I had to own it.

So, what are some of the lessons I learned from this story of crumbling pots? Here's a few:

1. If young and inexperienced, use caution before proceeding with unique, innovative ideas. The "standard approach" may be there for a reason. Perhaps it has been tried/tested and proven it works. That's why it's now the standard approach.

2. It's great to have a desire for doing something really cool. Steps away from conventional thinking are appropriate on occasion. However, some realities and truths are just unchangeable and not to be trifled with. They need to be acknowledged and studied before proceeding.

3. If you are confronted with restrictions that seem to limit you, don't dismiss them outright. Ask questions about why they are there. Find out why they were created. Ask if the restriction applies to your situation before proceeding. Think more long-term.

4. If you are receiving accolades from your peers, be careful. Sometimes they can cause you to ignore advice from the more experienced/wiser people around you. Listen to concerns of others and criticisms of your work. They might be much more helpful to you than all the accolades in the long run.

5. Dreams are great. They really are. But, the realities of life must be evaluated along with your dreams. Dreams can oftentimes turn into nightmares if you don't consider realities.

The good news is that I did not lose my job and our company was not sued. However, I never forgot the lessons I learned about life from these crumbling pots. 

A Son’s Remembrance of His Father

The fifth commandment in the Bible says, “Honor your father…” That is what I hope to do in the next few minutes – honor my Dad with a few words about who I think he was. 

After it was discovered that Dad had a “mass” in his pancreas and some other growths in his liver in early April, I flew out to be with him for a few days. At that time we weren’t sure that the diagnosis would be cancer. But, all signs were pointing to the fact that he had it. Consequently, we had some very personal and tough discussions at his kitchen table one afternoon. Dad eventually said to me, “Well, I’ve had a good life.” I asked him, “Are you ready to meet your Maker?” He told me immediately, “Yes, I am.” We then discussed other end-of-life scenarios and cried together – a lot.

As I flew back home a few days later, I feared I’d have to prepare some words like this to deliver at an occasion celebrating his life. I wasn’t all that excited about doing so, but I also didn’t want to miss an opportunity to pay tribute to a man I loved and admired greatly. On that flight (and later on flights to New York City, Atlanta and Sydney, Australia), I had a lot of time to write down some things that just seemed to epitomize my Dad. I decided to “alliterate” them (using the letter “C”) to possibly make them easier to remember. So, here goes:

Cards (Cribbage, Whist, Bridge, etc.) – Dad loved to play cards, and he was so good at it, too. As a matter of fact, you had better bring your A-game when you played cards against him because his policy was “no mercy.” He would beat you ten times out of eleven, but then smile and encourage you to play your best the next game! Cards just came easy to him. He literally had the uncanny knack of almost knowing all the cards in your hand when you played against him. As a result, some people didn’t even want to play against him! He was that good. I am really, really going to miss playing Cribbage with my Dad. Every time we got together, we played Cribbage (sadly, except for my final two trips to see him).

Careful – Dad was careful with just about everything he did. He believed that there was a right way to do some things and he just didn’t take shortcuts or overextend himself on much of anything. When he set his mind to do something, it was going to be the absolute best something he could make it. He got teased by my sisters and me for always saying, “You got to have a system!” But, he was so right. Sloppiness in work or finances or golf or any other activity really wasn’t his thing. If you were going to do something, do it right and take the time and care you needed to make it the best. He didn’t believe in “can’t.” When my sisters and I struggled with something early in life and told him we just can’t do it, he used to tell us, “Can’t never did anything.”       

Cars (and especially Cadillacs) – Dad had very few obvious indulgences, but the one he did have was driving really pretty cars. And, he traded in his cars about every two years or so, always looking to get the very best car he could (paying cash for them, of course). He started with Chevrolets, advanced to Buicks, and then finally settled on Cadillacs. Except for a couple of uncharacteristic purchases of a Lincoln and Volkswagen along the way (?), my Dad drove Cadillacs exclusively for over 45 years. His Cadillacs became his recognizable trademark. He must have been one of Cadillacs best, longest and most faithful customers, I’m sure. Speaking of cars, when he sold his farm in 2012, he actually bought each of his kids a brand new car! What a great gift! Dad loved cars, and especially Cadillacs.

Choirs – Dad loved to sing! Whether it be in the church choir, or with a men’s quartet, or at some other karaoke-type opportunity, Dad sang. And he didn’t sing soft. No, he sang LOUD! His base voice was really, really strong. When he was singing, he was all into it. He was the epitome of the expression “belting it out.” Consequently, all of us in our family also loved to sing, or at least we appreciated great music and those who produce it well. Some of my favorite memories of Dad are from sitting next to him in church and hearing him sing – especially the old hymns (How Great Thou Art always, always makes me think of my Dad).

Clean-Shaven – Dad was always clean-shaven. I don’t think he ever had facial hair his whole entire life. To him, it was really important to have a clean-shaven face. I once had a goatee and mustache for a while and I know he really didn’t care for it at all. Dad didn’t start his day until he’d had a good shave each morning. He frequently shaved again before going out for the evening, as well. Always with a splash of Mennen Skin Bracer afterwards, of course.

Conservative – Dad was unquestionably conservative. He was never shy about stating his beliefs and politics openly. He believed in conservative values and ideals, and he loved voting in local, state and national elections accordingly. I learned at an early age where his political views stood, and as I’ve gotten older (and maybe a little bit wiser?), I find that I am gravitating more and more towards his viewpoint every day. The good thing was that Dad wasn’t ugly about expressing his political views. Rather, he just knew what he believed in and didn’t have any fear about letting people know where he stood. Frankly, I really admired that about him. 

Consistent – Dad was never wishy-washy about anything. You could almost predetermine how he would react to just about every situation. He had a way of living life that worked for him and he stuck to it. For example, he loved our Mom and us kids consistently, even when we disappointed him (especially me!). He stuck with the people he called his friends and didn’t ever abandon them. If he said he’d do something for you, you could take it to the bank. Dad consistently did what he said he was going to do and you could count on it every time. They don’t make too many like that anymore.

Corn – I just had to throw this word in. Dad grew corn most of his adult life, and he was possibly one of the best in all of Central Iowa at doing it. He prided himself in having very straight rows, really pretty fields, and BIG yields. He loved farming so much. Growing corn was one of his specialties – another potential trademark.

Country (Music, Living, Farming and the USA) – Dad couldn’t get enough of Country Western Music. As a matter of fact, all the stations on his last Cadillac were tuned to Sirius radio and Willie’s Roadhouse! Whether singing, dancing or listening to it, Dad loved Country Western Music. He also loved Country Living. He eventually adjusted to living at his home in Sun City, Arizona, because beyond his backyard was an absolutely beautiful golf course with lots of trees and a stunningly gorgeous lake. But, he really wanted to be out and away from everything somewhere in the country. Central Iowa was his absolute favorite place in all the world. He also loved states like Montana, Nebraska and Wyoming. In addition, he was a very proud American. He didn’t have a chance to serve in the military, but he defended his country every day of his life. He was a staunch patriot and didn’t understand it when others weren’t. To this day, I really can’t say anything bad about the USA – Dad taught me this was the best place in the world to live and I believe he was right!

Courageous – My Dad appeared to be completely unafraid of anything. I mean, absolutely anything! You might even say that he was somewhat fearless. Case in point was his final month on this earth. Anyone else would have potentially buckled under with the health issues he faced. The cancer in his body was ravaging his internal organs and other parts of his body terribly. But, he was incredibly courageous through it all and faced the challenges of pancreatic cancer all the way to the end. As a matter of fact, my sisters and I felt like he got supernaturally sweeter and sweeter toward the end of his life, even though his body was wreaking havoc within him at every single breath. It was nothing short of unbelievable how he faced this adversity head-on and without fear (or at least that’s what it looked like to us from the outside). I will never ever forget how courageous he was to the end. He was amazing!

I think I speak for all of my family in saying that we were so blessed to have known and loved such a wonderful man! I will forever cherish precious memories of times with my Dad. He was an incredible human being and truly had a great life. In addition, he positively impacted many of us forever. God bless the life, memory and incredible strength of my Dad, Dick Ellwood.