Longing for a simpler time in life...

Sitting in a hotel breakfast area as I write this, longing for a simpler time in life...

We're traveling this pre-Thanksgiving holiday and today finds us at a Hampton Inn in Las Cruces, New Mexico (hurray for numerous business travels that garner hotel points and free stays!). Four of us are on our way to visiting more extended family in Tucson today through Tuesday morning, and then we will head to the Phoenix area for time with my parents and other family interactions there. I love the fact that I have a family to spend time with. I also love the idea of "road trips" like this, and we have done dozens of them over the years.

But, as I sit here still a bit stressed out over the past week of work and the over 700 miles we traveled yesterday, a bit concerned for my daughter Katie in Delhi, India, on a short-term mission trip this week, and while observing other traveling families in this lobby breakfast area with their small children in tow, I'm reminisching about and longing for a simpler time in life.

A time when my family was always all together.

A time when we actually did everything together.

A time when all of us seemed to be completely in sync with one another.

I know that my longings are on the edge of kind of dreamy and possibly not very realistic (it probably wasn't as easy as I'm remembering it), but that's what's going on in my thoughts as I smile at the cutest little children around me and how they appear to be responding with such bold faith and trust in their parents for everything.

But, life isn't that simple right now. Everyone grows up and moves on. Everyone heads off to new personal and professional pursuits (as they should). Everyone changes based on the environments they are in and who they are currently influenced by. Life goes on. And that's O.K.

But, the fact remains, I'm still longing for a simpler time in life...

Happy Thanksgiving all!

I'm just not very good at "small talk"

I love people, I really do. I love being around people also. I have a lot of really great people in my life. Don't know what I'd be like if it weren't for the people God placed around me in my family, my neighborhood, my church, my work, etc. But, I'm just not very good at "small talk."

Maybe that is why I love doing this - writing once a week on this blog. I can take the time to carefully compose my thoughts, think deeply about a subject that means something special to me, and then write (hopefully intelligently?) about what is really on this heart of mine. Although I am using a lot of words in this blog, there's really not much "small talk" here...

But, I feel guilty about not being very good at "small talk." Isn't "small talk" how we relate to one another and find out more about each other? Does everything we say to each other need to have deep meaning and/or an agenda? Can't we just share thoughts and ideas with one another without being judged?

Let me ask you this. Do we gravitate more towards "small talk" because we are afraid to tell other people around us what we are really thinking? What we really believe about each other and about life? Is our "small talk" just a mask that we hide behind these days for fear that others might really discover who we are?

Or, is all of our "small talk" only what we give ourselves time for - just shallow, brief conversations that mean very little because we are in such a doggone hurry all the time?

Seems like it didn't used to be this way. Seems like when I was growing up in a small town in Iowa, people usually had meaningful and thoughtful conversations. Didn't they?

In a day and age of abundant forms/tools of communication (even excessive maybe?), and with the multiple opportunities we have each day to communicate with each other (cell phones, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc.), why is it that it feels like we are actually communicating less and less? Isn't a lot of what we communicate with one another really just "small talk" and/or somewhat meaningless conversation/words? Where's the depth?

Do you know what I really, really like? When someone I know (in my family, my neighborhood, my church or my work) just wants to get together to talk deeply about important things in this life. Maybe over a long cup of coffee. Maybe over a meal. Maybe on a long drive across the country. Maybe on a camping trip when all the other "noises" we deal with most everyday are somewhat quiet and/or non-existent...

There are days when I long for a more Little House on the Prairie type lifestyle, where all you had around you was your own family and the words you shared with one another intimately, day in, day out. No telephones. No television. No Facebook postings and/or status updates. Not a lot of "small talk," but rather abundant times of sharing with each other, living close to each other, believing in shared/common values and inviting one another to be even more open with each other as the days went by and as you grew in this life. All without fear of what the other person might think about what you might have to say. Because you were family and you all were primarily looking out for the good of one another.

I'm just not very good at "small talk." But, if you want to sit down and go really deep in conversation with me, let's get together and do it!

I need a new favorite color...

Everyone has their favorite color. Mine used to be green. Not any more...

Green was such a perfect favorite color for me. Green implied growth and I'm a real pro-growth guy (economic growth, spiritual growth, growth in intelligence/understanding, etc.). Green also conjured up wonderful images of plants and "landscape," so appropriate for my chosen profession of Landscape Architecture. Additionally, green very often caused me to think of my home state, Iowa, and all the green grass, corn and soybean fields there. Finally, not everyone liked green as their favorite color either, which helped make me kind of distinctive/unusual (as though I needed assistance in being unusual...). Green was such a great favorite color for me, and for such a long time, too!

But, green is no longer a color. Unfortunately, green has now become a policy position, a political statement, a marketing strategy, a religion, and for some, even a calling or a sacred (?) cause to save the planet (ever heard of Al Gore?).

So, if you are reading this, help me. Please! I need a new favorite color...

I'm going to rule out the "colors" black and white first. Too many racial overtones and misunderstandings associated with these two. Plus, they are really non-colors, aren't they? How can you say that your favorite color is black or white when each are really non-colors? If I'm messed up here and one of these should be my new favorite color, let me know.

I'm also going to rule out gray. Gray is the color my hair is becoming and/or has already turned to. I'm not that concerned about it, but just because I'm getting closer to becoming a "senior citizen," I don't think my favorite color should be gray. What do you think?

I'd love to say that brown is my new favorite color because I like it and it reminds me of another of my favorites - chocolate. But, I really don't need to think about chocolate very much as it doesn't really do me any favors when it comes to my weight. Plus, everytime I tell people (especially my kids!) that the tuxedos the guys wore at our wedding almost 29 years ago were brown, they respond with disbelief in that choice and laugh. So, my new favorite color can't be brown.

What about purple? That's the color of my son Peter and his bride Kristen's alma mater - Abilene Christian University. It's also kind of a trendy color, I think? No. Can't be purple. Sorry folks. Although I am confident in my manhood and try not to be sexist, I still consider purple to be a female color.

Orange is nice, but burnt orange implies being a fan of the University of Texas (which I am not). Orange also has too much association with Halloween, doesn't it? So, I guess it can't be orange.

What's left? Red, Blue and Yellow - the primary colors. I like that. Maybe my next favorite color should be one of these?

Red is good. There is a lot of talk these days about red states and their association with being Republican and conservative. That makes a lot of sense for me. But, then again. Red also used to have several negative connotations - Red Communist, Red Chinese, Blood Red, etc. So, maybe not red?

Blue? Well, blue is my wife's favorite color and I really like it, too. But, since I'm not a blue state kind of guy, I don't really "sing the blues" very much, and since so many people like blue, maybe it's not unusual/distinctive enough for me? What do you think?

Finally, how about yellow? Why not yellow? I need a new favorite color... Should it be yellow? There is a really cool Cold Play song that I like about yellow. Sunshine is yellow and I love sunshine and lots of it? But, can I get past the problems associated with this color: yellow-bellied coward; yellow/jaundiced; yellow infections; etc. Oh me, oh my. What's the right answer?

I need a new favorite color... Send me your thoughts on which one I should choose, O.K.? Thanks in advance.

Don't Drink the Kool-Aid?

Have you ever heard the expression, "Don't drink the Kool-Aid?" Where did that oft-used expression come from anyway? Even though I lived through that time and experience (I remember hearing about it on the news), I still had to do a little research (thanks to the Internet) to refresh my memory of the not so pleasant details.

About 31 years ago this month, an extremely charismatic and compelling leader named Jim Jones orchestrated the largest mass suicide ever of over 900 members of his People's Temple in Jonestown, Guyana, South America. He had become convinced that "committing an act of revolution suicide to protest the conditions of an inhumane world" was the only thing they could do. His twisted philosophies and totally unconventional ideas aligned with communism and socialism had failed him and the People's Temple at every turn along the way. They had been forced to move as a group several times - from Indiana to California, and then finally to Guyana, South America to escape the intense scrutiny of many who began to see how far off-base this group was becoming. Unfortunately, Jones still had enough influence and power over these 900+ people (including over 275 children) that the last act of the People's Temple was to obediently "drink the Kool-Aid" containing a sedative and cyanide poison. All because their charismatic leader told them to do so. They had completely put all their faith and trust in their leader, in spite of all his failed ideas and philosophies. He had garnered that much control over them. So much control that they were even willing to take their own lives (and the precious lives of their very own children).

Sadly, the People's Temple members were found by authorities several days later laying side by side, dead because they believed with their very lives in the strong, but terribly misguided urgings of their charismatic leader Jim Jones.

So what? Is there anything we can learn from this significant episode in our history? Well, here's a few of the take-aways I have from this event:

- Beware of extremely charismatic and compelling leaders. Listen to them carefully, but make sure to think before you follow any of their ideas.

- No matter how bad or inhumane the condition of this world gets, suicide is never the answer, no matter who it is that tells you it is.

- Twisted philosophies and unconventional ideas aligned with communism and socialism have never worked or turned out positively, no matter how lofty and well-meaning the original goal was of helping others.

- If the philosophies and ideas of a charismatic leader never achieve long-lasing success, thereby forcing that leader to "keep moving" and never land solidly anywhere, that ought to be a pretty good indicator of being on the wrong track.

- No charismatic leader should be given the power to convince you to turn off your brain and do something really stupid.

Be smart. Don't drink the Kool-Aid!

Wise Guys

I spent most of the day Friday and Saturday with a bunch of wise guys. There names are: Mike, Brian, Jeff, Dirk, John, Dan, Eddie, and Mark (Earl was missing, on assignment elsewhere in the country sharing his elder wisdom with another church).

These wise guys are my fellow elders at Chase Oaks Church.

What an impressive group of godly men! It was such a privilege to spend time with all of them on a "retreat" from our normal daily activities. They definitely provided a lot encouragement for me and definitely refilled my tank for leadership of our church!

However, one of these wise guys in particular will be the primary subject of this post. His name is Mike.

I've known and admired Mike for about 19 or 20 years. All of that time he and his sweet wife Sharon have faithfully served our church as an elder couple. They have been extremely dedicated servant leaders. They have been (and still are) an inspiration to me and so many others. They continually show me and so many others what servant leadership looks like. The wisdom that spills out of their mouths, and the clarity of their thoughts in the things that they do, is truly a wonderful blessing in my life (and in the lives of so many others). I'm going to share a little secret with all of you reading this. When I grow up, I want to be just like Mike.

I want to be as faithful and loving as he has been to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I want to be as honest and courageous as he has been in all of his business dealings throughout the years.

I want to be as selfless and giving as he has been to his wife and children/grandchildren from the day they were married/born.

I want to be the student of Scripture that he has been so that any wisdom that spills out of my mouth is unquestionably from the Lord, not just from me.

I want to be as humble as he is in spite of all the accomplishments he has been a part of here on earth.

I want to have as much integrity/energy/flexibility that he has when I am his age and in his stage of life.

I want to show Christ to others by the way I live, just as Mike has for so many years.

I am mindful of the fact that if he were to read this, Mike would be somewhat embarrassed and would not like the attention these words bring to him. That's just the way he is. But, sometimes you need to call out certain wise guys and tell them how much they mean to you and how much you admire them anyway.

I could write similar things about the other wise guys I spent the weekend with, but Mike, this one's for you! Thanks for being one of the wise guys I really love to be around.

A Glance Behind

Sometimes it is helpful to take a glance behind. Sometimes we get so caught up in moving forward, totally focused on where we are moving to, that we miss the real benefits of taking a glance behind.

That's why it is so important for us to study history. World history in particular. We can learn a lot from spending the time to take a glance behind.

This year as a part of his 10th grade home education, my son Nathan is studying World History with my wife. Just this past week, the two of them were in a chapter that was discussing the Roman Republic. The enduring influence of the Roman Empire is reflected pervasively in our contemporary language, literature, legal codes, government, architecture, engineering, medicine, sports, arts, etc. Much of what the Roman Empire was all about is so deeply embedded in our culture that we sometimes fail to acknowledge how much we are indebted to ancient Rome. We miss it if we fail to take a glance behind.

Consider most common languages of the world today (including English, for example). Most of these languages are taken from Latin. Without Latin, you could not have read much of the past few sentences/paragraphs.

But even beyond that, the Roman Empire was a really big deal. It was the most powerful global force in its time. It lasted over 500 years, and was more important than any other world power during most of that time.

But, somewhere along the way, something happened. At some point in time, the Roman Empire fell, and now we only read about it in the history books (if we take a glance behind, that is).

My wife, Ellen, read something to me out of their World History book the other day and it seemed too significant not to mention in this blog. It was at the end of the chapter they were studying on the Roman Republic. Here is what the book had to say:

During these years of the republic, Rome grew from a small city along the Tiber to become the master of the Mediterranean world. New prosperity and power resulted from Rome's conquests. But with her rise to prominence, Rome was faced with new challenges. The Roman historian Livy described their predicament: "For true it is that the less men's wealth was, the less was their greed. Of late, riches have brought in avarice, and excessive pleasures, the longing to carry wantonness and license to the point of ruin for oneself and of universal destruction."

The foundation of the republic began to crumble. Traditional values, such as discipline, personal morality, and respect for authority, diminished. Citizens who once served their country with a sense of patriotic duty and responsibility now sought their own selfish interests. Corruption in government abounded. The breakdown of the moral fiber of the republic encouraged the use of force to settle Rome's problems.

In the midst of economic and political disorder, the Romans allowed the powers of the state to increase. They surrendered many of their rights and freedoms to obtain political and economic stability. The republic that offered so much liberty and rule by the people was replaced by tremendous government control and rule by emperors.

Now I ask you, does that sound at all familiar to you when you consider what is happening today in the United States? Do you think that we as a nation might benefit from studying about what caused the Roman Empire to fall so that we can avoid having the same fate happen to us? Hmmmmmmm.

Sometimes it's great to take a glance behind. There is a saying that goes something like this: "If you don't learn from history, you are bound to repeat it."

God forbid that we should fall into the same trap that caused the Roman Empire to fall...

Study Hard!

Remember when you were in middle school or high school and your teachers or your parents (and for some of you, they were one-in-the-same!) told you to study hard? And why was that? Why did they keep telling you that?

Well, more than likely it was said to generally keep you occupied and out of trouble! But, it may have also been said to make sure that you were fully prepared when school's "pop quizes" or tests came along. Then, when they did, you were really glad that you had studied hard because the "pop quizes" or tests didn't freak you out as much. Remember that?

So, what about those of us who are no longer in middle school or high school (or college for that matter)? Does the fact that we are no longer in an academic setting mean that we don't need to study hard anymore?

From my experience, I would definitely say "No." As a matter of fact, I find that I have an even greater need to study hard these days as my life marches on into the future . You see, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I am studying God's Word - The Bible. Doing so helps me better navigate the successes and challenges of this life. God's Word prepares me fully for what lies ahead. I really never know exactly when life's "pop quizes" or tests will come. Neither do you. But, one thing is for certain. They will come. And, oftentimes we don't see them coming until they are right on top of us. Then, it is kind of late to "cram for the exam." When a success or challenge is right upon you, you're sure glad that you've been studying (or sometimes regretting that you haven't)!

Several dear people in our lives (Christ followers) have had incredible and sometimes unexpected tests thrust upon them in the last few months. The tests I am referring to are much more difficult than the ones you may have had in Biology or Algebra when you were in high school! It has been interesting (and oftentimes inspiring) to watch how these really special people have handled their particular tests. The ones who have developed disciplined habits of studying hard (God's Word), seem to have managed their tests a lot better than those who haven't developed the habit. I think there is a definite correlation for this.

Does that mean that if you study hard the "pop quizes" or tests of life are somehow made easy? No. But for Christ followers, God's Word usually contains all the answers we need for the "pop quizes" and tests of this life. If you don't believe me, I challenge you to try it (studying God's Word hard) and see if it doesn't make a big difference in your life. If you are a Christ follower (and even if you aren't), what have you got to lose? If you try it, I'm convinced that you'll see a difference the next time a success or challenge comes your way.

Study hard! You never know when life's "pop quizes" or tests are going to come your way. I want to be fully prepared for them, don't you?