Who's allowed to change?

As the old sayings go, "What goes around, comes around" and "Turn about is fair play." I probably had this coming, but I really didn't see it until it was upon me. You see, this happened to my parents years ago, too. What am I talking about? Change - and who's allowed to change.

In late December, 1976 (about seven months after I graduated from college), my parents' house on the farm burned to the ground (it was actually New Year's Eve, I think). Fortunately, both Mom and Dad were able to get out before the fire consumed their house completely. But, they lost a lot - not the least of which was their home and a lot of their belongings. Soon after the fire, some friends of theirs invited them to come to Arizona for some time away from winter in Iowa and the devastation of the fire. They stayed out there a week or two and had a great time. When they returned, they announced to my sisters and me that they had purchased a lot and were going to be building a house in Sun City. They were planning on moving there later that year.

What? What do you mean you are moving to Arizona? How dare you decide something like that without checking with me first? I'm not sure if my sisters were as upset/perplexed as I was since they were both already married and raising families and such. But I was only a few months out of college, working my first job and living in St. Louis. If they moved to Arizona, what if I wanted to go "home" to visit them? Arizona wasn't "home" - Iowa was my home! How dare they change my world like that? What were they thinking?

Then a small voice inside of me said, "Well, what about you? You moved to St. Louis and didn't check with them first before you did that. So what's the problem? Are you saying that YOU can change all you want and they just have to accept it, but they can't change anything in their life at all? Is that what you are saying?"

Wow. Talk about being caught up short. It really made me think. Who was I to decide what is best for them and/or try to manipulate what they could (or couldn't) do? Talk about selfish on my part! I still didn't like the situation at all, but I had to change my attitude about it and realize that it really wasn't up to me to decide for my parents.

Fast forward to 2008. Mom and Dad still live in Arizona (part of the year) in the same house they built back in 1977. It has been such a great move for them! I've even grown to love their house in Arizona and kind of consider it to be a second "home."

This week with my own family, I tossed out an idea (by e-mail) of potentially making a BIG change in our lives. It had to do with our annual New Year's Day pancake breakfast tradition. Was 30 years of doing it long enough? Was it time for this tradition to end? Well, now I think I know and understand a bit more how my parents may have felt back in 1977 when they offerred up a big change in their lives.

So, who's allowed to change? Only "the young and the restless," or is everyone (even us old people) allowed?

Praise God that we all have the "freedom" to change, and that we live in a country that is free (at least for now?) and allows each citizen to decide what is right/best for themselves! I am so thankful for that. But, what happens when someone you know and love (and are even closely related to) decides to make a change (big or small) in their life? Are you willing to put aside your selfishness and be open to that? What if the change doesn't appear to be a good one for them (in your opinion)? Can you still accept their change, try to understand it from their vantage point, and love them anyway? I wish that I could say that it is easier 31 years later to do so, but shamefully it isn't.

"What goes around, comes around" and "Turn about is fair play."

By the way, we ARE going to continue the New Year's Day pancake breakfast tradition at our house - at least for a few more years... :-)