I just returned from a quick get-away trip with my wife, Ellen, to Sun City, Arizona. We were there visiting my parents for a couple of days. They live at this oasis "in the desert" from November through March to get away from the bitter cold and endless piles of snow in Iowa during these months. My Mom just turned 83 on January 7th (praise the Lord), so we were doing a bit of a belated birthday celebration for her. Plus, selfishly for Ellen and me, it's just a really great place to visit. Mom and Dad's home is right on the Union Hills golf course. Thus, the view out their back door (and from their patio) is beautiful, gazing over lush green grass to a small lake with fountains, with picturesque Arizona mountains off in the distance. We were blessed with some fantastic weather while we were there, too. Loved it!
But, aside from the setting, I just have to brag on my Dad.
Over the three days we were there, we went out for breakfast, lunch and dinner several times. We also did some miscellaneous shopping and ran a few errands. Consequently, there was a lot of getting in and out of their car, and a bunch of walking to and from their car to the restaurants/stores we visited. While we were doing that, I couldn't help but notice over and over again that after 62+ years of marriage, he still holds her hand...
Wow. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful that is to see my Dad holding my Mom's hand. I really want to be like my Dad when I grow up.
He loves my Mom so much! He takes really great care of her, too. Mom has Parkinson's disease and it is begining to slow her down a bit more and more every year. She's not as steady on her feet as she once was. She gets a little bit flustered/confused at times because she is not as smooth in doing the things she used to do so effortlessly. But, there's my Dad, giving her a steady hand, and telling her by his actions and loving touch that he'll take good care of her. That she doesn't need to worry about a thing. That he's going to take care of her and protect her no matter what.
What's really cool is that Dad would be doing this even if she didn't have Parkinson's. She's his wife, and that's what a loving husband does for his wife. He gives her a hand. He tells her with his actions and loving touches that he'll take good care of her. A husband's desire is to convince his wife that she doesn't need to worry about a thing. He will take care of her no matter what.
Lately, Ellen and I have been caught "holding hands" on our way in to church, or in a few other relatively public situations/events. People have remarked that we are "cute" to do that and that it seems like we are really in love with each other.
I love holding my wife's hand. We are in love with each other. In my way of thinking, that's what married people are supposed to do. Why is it that a husband holding his wife's hand seems so unusual these days? Whatever happened to romance and chivalry?
I want to honor my Dad's love for his wife (my Mom) with this post. I want to declare to everyone reading this (especially family members) that this is what I plan to do. I hope to continue to follow my Dad's example for many, many years to come. Someday, I want my sons (and daughter) to remark when we have been married as long as my parents (hopefully!), he still holds her hand...
Sometimes it is the little things, the simpler things, that are most important in this life.
Thanks for giving me such a great example/model to follow, Dad! I love you.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Dragged, kicking and screaming...
I've heard it said that a child's personality (and a lot about how that child will respond to certain situations as an adult) is already evident at age 5 or 6. Kind of makes you realize how critically important those first few years of a child's life are, doesn't it?
I am so grateful to God for my Mom being there to shape my personality and guide my development at an early age. Likewise, I am so glad that my wife, Ellen, was there to actively influence the personalities of our four children in their early years.
(In my humble opinion, the ideal situation for a child is for their mother and father to be the ones to perform this all-important task. It is that critical to their adult life!)
Just the other day, a vivid childhood memory popped into my consciousness. It made me realize that a dominant part of my personality, as well as how I frequently respond to certain life situations as an adult, is probably wrapped up in this early childhood experience.
It was the first day of kindergarten in Ellsworth, Iowa, probably the fall of 1959. My family lived on a farm about three miles outside of this small town of 400+ people. To attend school, I would need to take the bus into town. It must have been a late-morning session of kindergarten as I don't remember my two older sisters being a part of this story. They were probably already at school when this took place.
I have this mental picture in my head of my Mom "escorting" me down the end of our long lane to catch the bus. Actually, I was being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way! It must have been terribly embarrassing and upsetting for my Mom. You see, at four years old (I wouldn't turn 5 for another month) I just wasn't too sure about this whole going to school thing. I wasn't excited about it at all! I kind of liked being safely at home during the day with my Mom. What was she doing, making me go to school, for goodness sake? So, I decided to fight the inevitable.
In spite of being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way down the lane, Mom won the battle. She placed me on that bus, let the bus driver close the door, and off to kindergarten I went. I must have liked it, too, as I don't remember her having to force me to go to kindergarten ever again. Apparently, once I got on that bus, I was O.K. Whatever I had feared so much before hand, didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought after all.
But, I couldn't have been convinced of that when I was being dragged, kicking and screaming down our lane. I was genuinely freaked out!
Fast forward to today.
I still get a little freaked out by new things. I will frequently dread a new adventure and/or resist a change in venue/responsibilities. It's as though I'm reverting back to being dragged, kicking and screaming down that lane outside of Ellsworth, Iowa.
Even 50+ years later, there are remnants of that part of my personality showing up. Fascinating!
Likewise, once I "get on the bus" so to speak, I usually do O.K. with the new adventures or change in venue/responsibilities. I am reflecting back now on a whole lifetime of initial reluctance to lead, of timidness when it comes to participating in big events, and of massive squirming when asked to take on new tasks/responsibilities, etc.
So what? Why is this even worth writing down (or being read?)? I guess here's what I'm learning about myself through this experience:
- My personality was somewhat settled at an early age in life. That's not an excuse; it's just fact.
- I am who I am based on some of the experiences I had early in life. That's really O.K.
- I should not try to be someone I'm not. Others can seeminly tackle the big stuff and keep begging for more. Others can get frustrated when new adventures and added responsibilities don't come fast enough. Not me. That's just not who I am.
- Sometimes I am required to press on past my fears and hang-ups. Sometimes I just need to take on those new adventures and challenging responsibilities. I must get over my initial reluctance. I just need to buck it up and do it!
- It is always a good idea to ask myself before stepping in to something new, "What's the worst thing that could happen here anyway?"
If you find yourself sometimes being dragged, kicking and screaming into new adventures and/or situations that freak you out, take a hint from me. Just relax. It probably won't be as bad as you think.
I am so grateful to God for my Mom being there to shape my personality and guide my development at an early age. Likewise, I am so glad that my wife, Ellen, was there to actively influence the personalities of our four children in their early years.
(In my humble opinion, the ideal situation for a child is for their mother and father to be the ones to perform this all-important task. It is that critical to their adult life!)
Just the other day, a vivid childhood memory popped into my consciousness. It made me realize that a dominant part of my personality, as well as how I frequently respond to certain life situations as an adult, is probably wrapped up in this early childhood experience.
It was the first day of kindergarten in Ellsworth, Iowa, probably the fall of 1959. My family lived on a farm about three miles outside of this small town of 400+ people. To attend school, I would need to take the bus into town. It must have been a late-morning session of kindergarten as I don't remember my two older sisters being a part of this story. They were probably already at school when this took place.
I have this mental picture in my head of my Mom "escorting" me down the end of our long lane to catch the bus. Actually, I was being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way! It must have been terribly embarrassing and upsetting for my Mom. You see, at four years old (I wouldn't turn 5 for another month) I just wasn't too sure about this whole going to school thing. I wasn't excited about it at all! I kind of liked being safely at home during the day with my Mom. What was she doing, making me go to school, for goodness sake? So, I decided to fight the inevitable.
In spite of being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way down the lane, Mom won the battle. She placed me on that bus, let the bus driver close the door, and off to kindergarten I went. I must have liked it, too, as I don't remember her having to force me to go to kindergarten ever again. Apparently, once I got on that bus, I was O.K. Whatever I had feared so much before hand, didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought after all.
But, I couldn't have been convinced of that when I was being dragged, kicking and screaming down our lane. I was genuinely freaked out!
Fast forward to today.
I still get a little freaked out by new things. I will frequently dread a new adventure and/or resist a change in venue/responsibilities. It's as though I'm reverting back to being dragged, kicking and screaming down that lane outside of Ellsworth, Iowa.
Even 50+ years later, there are remnants of that part of my personality showing up. Fascinating!
Likewise, once I "get on the bus" so to speak, I usually do O.K. with the new adventures or change in venue/responsibilities. I am reflecting back now on a whole lifetime of initial reluctance to lead, of timidness when it comes to participating in big events, and of massive squirming when asked to take on new tasks/responsibilities, etc.
So what? Why is this even worth writing down (or being read?)? I guess here's what I'm learning about myself through this experience:
- My personality was somewhat settled at an early age in life. That's not an excuse; it's just fact.
- I am who I am based on some of the experiences I had early in life. That's really O.K.
- I should not try to be someone I'm not. Others can seeminly tackle the big stuff and keep begging for more. Others can get frustrated when new adventures and added responsibilities don't come fast enough. Not me. That's just not who I am.
- Sometimes I am required to press on past my fears and hang-ups. Sometimes I just need to take on those new adventures and challenging responsibilities. I must get over my initial reluctance. I just need to buck it up and do it!
- It is always a good idea to ask myself before stepping in to something new, "What's the worst thing that could happen here anyway?"
If you find yourself sometimes being dragged, kicking and screaming into new adventures and/or situations that freak you out, take a hint from me. Just relax. It probably won't be as bad as you think.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Resolutions
I'm normally not one for making New Year's resolutions...
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for setting achievable goals and striving for improvement in my life.
As a matter of fact, I've already tried to eat better/more healthy since the first of the year. I've already tried to do more reading and reflection to begin and end my days. And, I've already been to the local recreation center to work out/exercise three times in 2011 (which is probably two more times than I did all of last year!). Ugh!
But, really? Do resolutions work?
During a time of reading and reflection one morning this week, I rediscovered a terrific example of some resolutions, and decided to make them mine for 2011. Here they are:
One - Remember every day of 2011 that there is only one God. As a follower of Christ, there just aren't any others. Only one.
Two - Avoid making anything else (man-made or natural) competition for God in my life. Remember every day of 2011 that God wants/deserves my devotion and worship. Don't give what belongs to Him to anything/anyone else.
Three - Resist using God's name in an inappropriate way. Remember throughout 2011 that God's name is holy. That speaking curses (and/or coarse words) is just plain wrong for a follower of Christ.
Four - Dedicate at least one day every week completely to God. Keep that day really special, just for Him! Remember throughout all of 2011 that there will always be more work, important errands and an endless list of tasks to do. As a Christ follower, I need to give one day a week over to God and rest.
Five - Look for ways to respect/love my parents more in 2011. They are not to be more highly regarded than God; no family member deserves more respect/love than God. But, God is pleased when I honor my father and my mother with simple acts of kindness and special favor.
Six - Refrain from killing in 2011. That includes killing with words, killing with looks/glances, and killing with hands, etc. Love other people and speak well of them. Denegrading or bad-mouthing or hurting others is just plain wrong for followers of Christ.
Seven - Go overboard in love for my spouse so that I won't even be tempted to cheat with anyone else. Remember throughout 2011 that God is the one who created marriage, that wonderful relationship between one man and one woman. He expects me to be faithful to the incredible gift of "oneness" He's given to me.
Eight - Resist all temptations to take from others. This includes big and small things. As a follower of Christ, there should not even be a hint or a suggestion of dishonesty when it comes to other people's money or possessions.
Nine - At all times, speak truth about my family, friends and everyone else. If you really don't know all the facts about a situation (and you never will), keep your mouth shut. Don't say unkind things about others. Ever. Words hurt and careless, not well thought out phrases are deadly. All truth in 2011!
Ten - Be content with what I have and refrain from desiring more and more of what someone else has. As a Christ follower, thank God everyday in 2011 for how He's abundantly blessed me and marvel at His goodness in all the things He's allowed me to possess.
Well, those are my resolutions for 2011.
By now, some of you are probably saying, "Wait a minute! Haven't I heard those ten somewhere before?" Yup. You have.
See Exodus 20:2-17 for the original version.
Even though I know I'm not going to be able to keep all of these resolutions in 2011 (because by myself, I just can't), I am asking God to work in me and allow me to make some headway towards these lofty goals and needed improvements in my life.
How about you? What are your resolutions for 2011?
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for setting achievable goals and striving for improvement in my life.
As a matter of fact, I've already tried to eat better/more healthy since the first of the year. I've already tried to do more reading and reflection to begin and end my days. And, I've already been to the local recreation center to work out/exercise three times in 2011 (which is probably two more times than I did all of last year!). Ugh!
But, really? Do resolutions work?
During a time of reading and reflection one morning this week, I rediscovered a terrific example of some resolutions, and decided to make them mine for 2011. Here they are:
One - Remember every day of 2011 that there is only one God. As a follower of Christ, there just aren't any others. Only one.
Two - Avoid making anything else (man-made or natural) competition for God in my life. Remember every day of 2011 that God wants/deserves my devotion and worship. Don't give what belongs to Him to anything/anyone else.
Three - Resist using God's name in an inappropriate way. Remember throughout 2011 that God's name is holy. That speaking curses (and/or coarse words) is just plain wrong for a follower of Christ.
Four - Dedicate at least one day every week completely to God. Keep that day really special, just for Him! Remember throughout all of 2011 that there will always be more work, important errands and an endless list of tasks to do. As a Christ follower, I need to give one day a week over to God and rest.
Five - Look for ways to respect/love my parents more in 2011. They are not to be more highly regarded than God; no family member deserves more respect/love than God. But, God is pleased when I honor my father and my mother with simple acts of kindness and special favor.
Six - Refrain from killing in 2011. That includes killing with words, killing with looks/glances, and killing with hands, etc. Love other people and speak well of them. Denegrading or bad-mouthing or hurting others is just plain wrong for followers of Christ.
Seven - Go overboard in love for my spouse so that I won't even be tempted to cheat with anyone else. Remember throughout 2011 that God is the one who created marriage, that wonderful relationship between one man and one woman. He expects me to be faithful to the incredible gift of "oneness" He's given to me.
Eight - Resist all temptations to take from others. This includes big and small things. As a follower of Christ, there should not even be a hint or a suggestion of dishonesty when it comes to other people's money or possessions.
Nine - At all times, speak truth about my family, friends and everyone else. If you really don't know all the facts about a situation (and you never will), keep your mouth shut. Don't say unkind things about others. Ever. Words hurt and careless, not well thought out phrases are deadly. All truth in 2011!
Ten - Be content with what I have and refrain from desiring more and more of what someone else has. As a Christ follower, thank God everyday in 2011 for how He's abundantly blessed me and marvel at His goodness in all the things He's allowed me to possess.
Well, those are my resolutions for 2011.
By now, some of you are probably saying, "Wait a minute! Haven't I heard those ten somewhere before?" Yup. You have.
See Exodus 20:2-17 for the original version.
Even though I know I'm not going to be able to keep all of these resolutions in 2011 (because by myself, I just can't), I am asking God to work in me and allow me to make some headway towards these lofty goals and needed improvements in my life.
How about you? What are your resolutions for 2011?
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