A High Price for Freedom

This morning (4th of July, 2011) I woke up to a very precious reality. I am twice a free man.

First, thanks to those who have bravely gone before me to defend my individual liberties, I am privileged to be an American citizen living in a free country. God bless the USA! Second, because I am a Christian (having accepted God's free gift of salvation through the precious blood of Jesus Christ), I also enjoy and experience the joy and promise of being forever spiritually free. Praise God for that as well!

I am truly celebrating today because of a high price for freedom paid for me by others.

Thank God for our Founding Fathers and many brave souls who took their stands for freedom, and then declared independence from the ugly tyranny of a remote English monarchy 235 years ago! Thank God for the first century Church (several of them martyred), who carried the Gospel of Christ to all the world, declaring freedom from the tyranny of sin and telling people everywhere that they no longer needed to be separated from God!

But, if history teaches us anything, it teaches us that precious freedoms (both political and spiritual) should not be taken for granted. What we enjoy today may not be there tomorrow if we don't fight to keep it. There are enemies out there trying to steal yours and my freedoms each and every day of our lives. We must do all that we can to actively protect them because there is a high price for freedom.

The words attributed to one of the founders of our nation, Patrick Henry, as well as those penned by the Apostle Paul in a letter to first century Galatian Christians, seemed particularly relevant to me at this point:

"Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, Give me Liberty, or give me Death!" - Patrick Henry

"Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you." Galatians 5:1

Notice the references made to life and death, as well as "chains" and "slavery" in these quotes? In the founder's and the apostle's mind, the opposite of freedom was death and/or bondage and indentured servitude to either an overbearing dictator/monarchy, or to sin. In other words, without freedom, there is no life and no independence. Enemies will always attempt to place chains on you and me and/or attempt to entice you and me into the bondage of slavery. We need to daily take our stands against these undesirable conditions.

Yes, there is a high price for freedom for those of us who enjoy it. There is also an obligation on the part of both American citizens, as well as followers of Christ, to rise up and protect it, too. But, unfortunately many of us will rather use our precious independence and freedoms just to do whatever we want, thus destroying them. Shame on us when that is what we do.

Once again, the words penned by the Apostle Paul to the first century Galatian Christians seemed very appropriate for me to read/hear this morning:

"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?" Galatians 5:13-15

May we all take these words to heart as we celebrate the 4th of July and/or our freedom in Christ, remembering that there is a high price for freedom.

Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh Out Loud About Life

I'm usually a pretty serious guy. Just ask my wife, Ellen, and/or my family about that! I'll admit that I have frequently used this blog for "getting on my soapbox" about a lot of things that are going on in this world. Usually I write about things that appear to be going bad or wrong out there. And, there certainly are a lot of things that trouble me and cause me to get serious sometimes. But...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

It was just a couple of days ago on Friday, sometime in the mid-afternoon. I had just received an e-mail at work that hit me kind of funny. So, I decided to forward it on to a couple of people I really love, who I thought might be amused by it as well. As fate would have it, the forwarded e-mail ended up triggering some persistent giggles on the part of at least one of the loved ones who received my forward. Then she called me. At the office, mind you! Well, my apologies to anyone who happened to be sitting around me at work that afternoon, particularly if they were trying to get something done on a Friday afternoon. In a truly serendipitous moment, we both absolutely lost it on the phone! Once the laughter started, it began to snowball even further, to the point of being just a little bit ridiculous! Tears flowed. Knees were slapped. Hilarity became contagious. And finally, I ended up saying, "Stop! Stop!" as I gasped for my next breath. It was a really, really big surprise to both of us! Not what either of us was expecting when the call commenced.

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

Earlier in the week, I received a series of e-mails about a particular subject from family members, including the one who caused me to get completely out of control on the phone on Friday. For some unknown reason, a little birdie inside of me said, "Oh, go ahead! Have some fun with this why don't you?" So, relatively uncharacteristically of me, I did have fun with it. Probably fooled a lot of my family members who don't normally see me pulling pranks or laughing that much or hearing jokes emanating from my mouth. But, I just couldn't resist! I couldn't pass up the opportunity to smile, giggle, and/or laugh to myself. Maybe the stresses of life have been taking their toll on me lately? Maybe it was time for me to just have some fun and relax a bit? Chill out about things happening in my life? I don't know exactly what was going on, but...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

Many, many years ago, I remember experiencing totally uncontrollable laughter unexpectedly with my Mom. Neither of us are particularly funny people, as a rule. But, in this particular instance, we were over-the-top ourageous in our laughter. We just could not stop no matter what we did. It was another tears flowing, knees slapping, unending hilarity, gasping for a breath moment. Too funny! What made it even funnier was that my Dad was there, but he wasn't getting what we were laughing at. The more my Mom and I laughed, the more my Dad appeared to become completely disgusted with the two of us. It was a completely infectious moment for my Mom and me. We literally could not help ourselves. I am beginning to giggle just thinking about it! Have you ever had one of those moments (kind of like the "I love to laugh" scene in the movie Mary Poppins)? If so, cherish the memory! Remember moments like that when life gets hard and when things don't seem to be going the way you want them to go. Let it go because...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

It says in Proverbs 17:22 that "A joyful heart is good medicine." Also, I believe it was author and humorist Erma Bombeck who once said (after she found out she had terminal cancer) that if she had it to do all over again, she'd laugh more. Good advice! Let's all laugh more!

So, for today - nothing serious, nothing dire, nothing too spiritual or intellectual or political. I'll save all that for some other blog, some other week. Rather, for today...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

Got a good laughter story to share? I'd love to hear it. :-) Oh, and did you heard the one about...

There ought to be a law!

This past Friday, I spent the whole day in a seminar entitled, "Legal Issues for Texas Architects and Landscape Architects." Since I am a licensed Landscape Architect in the State of Texas, I needed some continuing education credits for my annual license renewal and this seminar gave me eight TX CEPHs, including the required one for Sustainable Design and the required one for Barrier-Free Design. Those of you not in the architecture or engineering profession might be saying to yourselves right now, "Ho-hum..." Keep reading.

The whole purpose behind requiring licensed design professionals in the State of Texas to garner a certain number of continuing education credits each year for renewal of their licenses is to keep them current in their professions. It also helps remind them on an annual basis of their overall charge in having a license issued by the state - that is to protect the health, safety and welfare of the citizens of Texas as we practice. Whew! Some of you might still be saying, "So what?" Keep reading.

Well, about halfway through the seminar the thought occurred to me that everything I was hearing that day (from eventually all six attorneys who spoke to us), had to do with the miscellaneous interpretations of laws that had been passed by either our federal or state governments in recent years. Needless to say, there were times when I even felt like the speakers did not fully comprehend the laws that had been passed, even though they were declared to be the experts of them! Very frequently the speakers went back through all of the numerous, progressive "add-ons" to the original laws that had been passed, describing the necessities for how laws had to be modified to address issues that weren't covered or even fully considered by the initial piece of legislation. Ugh!

That is when it hit me. I remember hearing this phrase many times growing up. We in this country for too long have been all too quick to say, "There ought to be a law!" Something doesn't set well with us, we see something we don't like happening, someone we know is somehow made uncomfortable by a circumstance and we immediately say to ourselves, "There ought to be a law!"

I'm here to tell you that I think our mantra going forward should rather be, "There ought to be fewer laws!"

For the past 40-50 years when we as a nation have come up against something we don't like and/or don't think should be happening, our knee-jerk reaction has frequently been to introduce legislation attempting to fix or change whatever we personally deem wrong. Oftentimes without regard for any other point of view. After all, too frequently in this country it's all about me, right? And then, when a law is passed in its oftentimes compromised state, we frequently have to go back and amend that law over and over again to get it right. We seldom do.

I am beginning to think that this is no longer a good way to run a country. Rather, we should all just look around us, determine what each of us can do as individuals to make the necessary adjustments in our own lives to demonstrate a better way for others to follow, and then do that. Even if others don't follow, so what? Just live a life, set an example, prove that your way is the best way by living it and leave everyone else to their own business. It's still a free country, right? Right?

Case in point - one of the topics at my seminar on Friday had to do with laws dealing with accessibility. What a great cause! We as a design community should be making sure that everything that gets built is as accessible as possible. However, universal accessibility for each and every possible instance everywhere in the world (no matter when it was built) is probably unrealistic and a big distortion of what was originally intended. Similarly, another topic at the seminar had to do with the "greening" of our buildings. Once again, a great cause! I support it. We as a design community should be making sure that everything we do in our responsibilities as licensed design professionals promotes sustainability. That just makes good common sense. Local materials, less energy, better health for occupants of our buildings, etc. However, you cannot legislate compulsary "greening" for each and every building type all over the world, nor should we even try to! It's just unrealistic to think it will happen! And the costs of attempting to do so will ruin us financially.

So today, we have a lot of cries for laws that mandate proper foods to eat, or mandate generic details for universal healthcare, or mandate the prohibition of certain activities, etc. I'm telling you, all of that is dangerous, and someday soon we may all discover that it is also probably regrettable.

Therefore, starting today, I'd like to advocate a nation-wide campaign that says we should change the language in our country from one that says, "There ought to be a law!" to one that says, "There ought to be fewer laws!" Anyone care to join me in this cause? In my humble opinion, our freedoms and liberty in this country depend on us doing this different in the future than we have done it in the immediate past.

There ought to be fewer laws.

Who Moved the Furniture?

My wife and I recently "rearranged" the living room in our house (even if ever so slightly) in anticipation of having some out-of-town guests/family come for a short visit this coming week. We wanted to make our living room a little bit easier for entertaining both in-town and out-of-town guests/family. We also wanted to make the room better for television/movie watching when there are only three of us here doing that.

Anyway, for several days after we did the rearranging, each time I passed through the living room, I thought to myself, "Who moved the furniture?"

Isn't it funny how accustomed and comfortable we can get to things being a certain way in life (even down to the arrangement of furniture in rooms in our houses)? And then, someone or something changes (even if only in a small or insignificant way) and we exclaim to ourselves, "Who moved the furniture?"

The older I get, the more I seem to notice changes, even small ones.

I have found that there is comfort in things being and/or staying somewhat predictable in life. There is comfort in not having to re-think everything each and every day we live. As a matter of fact, it can be downright uncomfortable when you have to adapt to change after change after change after change. Why don't we just leave things the way they are? Why do we have to continually change things?

Well, I've also come to realize that change is just a part of life. Get over it!

As much as I'd like to lock down on somethings and declare them to be totally unchangeable from this point forward, I need to be careful. An attitude like that only leads to unhealthy rigidity, potential alienation of people in my life and maybe even a bad case of ugly legalism. Taken to an even greater extreme, an unwillingness to accept and respond to change leads to a lot of other not so great attributes, too.

On the other hand, there are some things that are worth locking down on and declaring to be totally unchangeable. And that's really O.K., too. Living your life in constant state of change (oftentimes just for the sake of resisting permanence and/or stability) is no more virtuous than living your life unwilling to change. As with a lot of other things in life, the trick is trying to find a healthy balance between constant change and an unwillingness to change at all.

Recently, I traveled to the place where I grew up in Iowa. We visited several family members there. In a lot of ways it seemed to me that not a lot had changed since I was living there 40-50 years ago. I didn't know how I felt about that. Why hadn't this place and the people changed more? What was wrong with them? And then I said to myself that the fact that not a lot had changed was also very good. There were (and are) a lot of things in Iowa that shouldn't change. I realized that even though I had changed a lot from where I was 40-50 years ago, a lot of things also had not changed and that was equally good.

Balancing change, adapting to changes without compromising, and sorting out what really matters in life is key when it comes to change. Wish I had the fine art of it mastered, but I don't. I probably still resist change in a lot of areas, and then am way too prone to change when change is not necessary at all.

So, here's my challenge to all of you reading this. The next time you notice a change, and either remark to yourself, "Who moved the furniture?" and resist it with all your mind, soul and strength or accept the change way too quickly without fully evaluating all the ramifications, I would encourage you to ask yourself the following questions, long before passing final judgment on the change:

- Am I reacting poorly to this change because I am hopelessly stuck and unwilling to adapt to something new and different?

- Am I becoming too rigid and "out-of-touch" with the world I am living in because I resist changes like this so vehemently?

- What did I abandon and/or give-up by accepting this change? In the grand scheme of things, was that abandonment and/or compromised principle worth giving up?

- Is the change I am now facing a change just for change sake? Am I way too prone to make the change just because it is a "popular" thing to do?

- Is the change I am accepting causing me to forget where I've come from and all that was invested in me in the past?

Who moved the furniture?

The 10 Cannots of William J. H. Boetcker

I ran across some great words in my readings this past week. I don't exactly remember where I read them. But, I thought they were too good not to share them in this blog.

I was originally led to believe that these words were written/spoken by Abraham Lincoln. Upon doing more research, however, I discovered otherwise.

The great words I'm referring to are called The 10 Cannots of William J. H. Boetcker, originally published in 1916, and they read like this:


You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
You cannot build character and courage by destroying men's initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.


94 years later these words are still very powerful (and also very true!). God bless William J. H. Boetcker for writing them down.

I'm going to remember these 10 Cannots for a long time to come. Too bad these great words aren't "required reading" for all citizens of the United States of America today. We could really use wisdom like this again in our civic/political arena...

Relationships That Matter

Contrary to the unprecedented popularity of several new social media types (including Facebook), there are only a few relationships that matter in this world.

I mean really. Can any one of us really have several hundred "friends" all at the same time? I think not. Consequently, these days my heart yearns for a few relationships that matter. Not dozens; just a few. But, I have found that it is easier said than done.

Take today for example. Today is my Dad's 82nd birthday. He lives in Iowa and I live in Texas. I spoke with him this morning by phone, but really wish I could be there with him in person today instead.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Not sure why I even wrote that here to him. He'll never read it. You see, my Dad does not have a personal computer, or a cell phone for that matter. He's never logged on to the Internet or sent/received an e-mail. Facebook is an absolute foreign concept to him. He wouldn't comprehend the concept of a Twitter "tweet" even if I tried to explain it to him. And yet, I still have a strong desire for a relationship that matters with him! How is that even possible when we live over 700 miles away from each other? Brief, weekly phone calls on Sunday afternoons just aren't enough for relationships that matter to flourish. There needs to be more, so much more. How I wish there was more in the relationship with my Dad.

I also think about other important people in my life. The people I love. The ones I really should have a relationship that matters with: Ellen; Andy, Annie, Katie, Peter, Kristen, and Nathan; my Mom; my sisters/brothers and their spouses/friends; my nephews/nieces; my close friends; a few co-workers; a few neighbors; a few people at church; etc.

Already, my list of people I really should have a relationship that matters with is up past 60 people. Plus, very few of those on my list live close by or are connected with me in a constant, regular sort of way.

Therefore, I have to ask myself, "Is it really even possible to have a relationship that matters with all of these people?"

I have a strong desire for a relationship that matters with each and every one, but I get terribly frustrated when it seems so hard to actually do! What's wrong with me anyway? Why does it appear that others are able to manage this part of life so well? Or, are they?

While pondering this dilemma, I was drawn to several verses in the Bible (Romans 7:18-20 to be exact). Here's what those verses say in the New American Standard version:

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But, if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me."

Not that I am a theologian or anything, but I think what these verses are saying is that when we have a strong desire to do what is right, but get frustrated when we can't do what we want to do and maybe even do the exact opposite of what we want to do, that means it's sin's fault. So, based on that, do I just get off easy then and say that it is an impossible task and just give up when it comes to relationships that matter? No.

I think there are several things I can learn from this whole experience concerning relationships that matter.

First, I need to stop trying to be more than I can really be to all the people/loved ones in my life. I need to better understand that I have a capacity for relationships, and also recognize that I probably will only be able to have relationships that matter with a few. And those few are probably going to be the ones who are either physically or genetically really close to me.

Second, it's discipline not desire that changes things. If I really desire a relationship that matters with someone close to me, then I am going to have to do something more than I am currently doing to make that happen. Just having the desire is not enough.

Third, I need to stop worrying about other people's expectations for me when it comes to relationships. I need to just enjoy the relationships I have and cherish those instead of spending all my time longing for some other relationship to get better. It would be a terrible thing to have no relationships that matter because of fussing over what was missing in so many of them.

I'm going to travel to Iowa with Ellen and Nathan to see my Dad in late June/early July. It will be wonderful to see him on the farm then. I'll have two to three days to demonstrate to him that his is a relationship that matters.

As they say in the Nike commercials, just do it!

With LIBERTY and justice for all...

Words in the English language are wonderfully rich in meaning. I believe words should be used carefully and in line with Webster's earliest American Dictionary of the English Language. Sadly, that is not always the case. A lot of words have been hijacked from their original meaning and twisted to accommodate certain agendas, thus causing unnecessary confusion and silly debate at times.

Take the word "justice" for example. The primary meaning of this word from Webster's 1828 dictionary was: "the virtue which consists in giving to every one what is his due; practical conformity to the laws and to principles of rectitude in the dealings of men with each other; honesty; integrity in commerce or mutual intercourse."

By contrast, today the word "justice" can frequently imply the notions of equal distribution of wealth/property, and/or a form of restoration/retribution for wrongs committed against certain groups of people. When you compound word meanings by adding "social" in front of the word "justice," it gets even more confusing. Especially for well-meaning people and men and women of faith.

Who wouldn't want "social justice?"

But, think very carefully before putting your stamp of approval on it. Do you really know what that phrase means for the people using it? Depending on their world view, it can mean a wide variety of things. I am learning that I am really for "social justice" when it comes to some groups/organizations, and then really against it when it comes to other groups/organizations. It all depends on who is invoking the term and where they are coming from both philosophically and politically. I am also learning that you really need to dig deeper to find out the true motivations for "social justice" before you give certain groups/organizations your support.

That is why I have developed a litmus test for "social justice" going forward. The inspiration for this test came from the United States of America's Pledge of Allegiance. At the end of that pledge, it says with LIBERTY and justice for all.

Returning to Webster's 1828 dictionary, liberty means: "freedom from restraint; the power of acting as one thinks fit, without any restraint or control; only abridged and restrained as is necessary and expedient for the safety and interest of the society, state or nation."

Other common meanings for the word liberty include: freedom from arbitrary or despotic government control; freedom from external or foreign rule; freedom from interference, obligation, restriction and hampering; independence.

So, to me that means that when liberty is absent (even when it comes to something potentially wonderful like "social justice"), you have tyranny and/or oppression. I don't know about you, but I have no interest in supporting tyranny and/or oppression. If someone is mandating "social justice" as instituted/controlled by the government, that's where I draw the line. If someone is telling me that I have to give up my freedom in order to promote "social justice," then I will politely say, "No thank you."

Words are rich with meaning and need to be used carefully. We must also be very cautious about the meaning of concepts such as "social justice." Make sure that you look closely at the motivations of those groups/organizations who are promoting it. Don't be fooled...

SQM vs. CED

Several years ago, I came across an unusual (but helpful) concept: SQM vs. CED. Unfortunately, I don't quite remember exactly where it came from. I don't quite remember who should receive the credit for it either. Sorry about that. But, I have carried this concept around with me for a long time, referring to it frequently over the past several years.

So what is SQM vs. CED, you ask? Good question. Let me try to explain.

As we go through this life, we have a choice. We can either Simplify, Quantify & Multiply things, or we can Confuse, Equivocate & Divide things. The choice is ours.

The implied correct answer is that we should all be more about SQM than CED. At least that is my humble opinion. That is also what I have attempted to do, both personally and professionally, and with relatively good success in the process. Let me explain how it works.

Sometimes if I break words/concepts like this down to their root meanings, it helps me better understand truth. For the exercise of explaining SQM vs. CED in this blog, I am even going back to Noah Webster's 1828 version of the American Dictionary of the English Language as I believe current editions of dictionaries have compromised true meanings of some words.

First let's look at the words for SQM and try to understand what this side of the equation is all about.

Simplify: To make simple; to reduce what is complex to greater simplicity; to make plain or easy.
Quantify: To determine, indicate, or express the quantity of; to make explicit the quantity of; to give quantity to.
Multiply: To increase in number; to make more by natural generation or production, or by addition.

Whenever possible, I like to make things really simple. Life is already complex enough. Why make it more so? Who doesn't like it when things are more plain or easy to understand? Wouldn't we all get along better if we attempted to simplify things versus make them all the more complex? Also, counting or quantifying things just helps each of us know where we stand on several levels. There is nothing more confusing than being held completely in the dark as to just what the score is for a particular situation! It is extremely hard to operate with that sort of ambiguity, both personally and professionally. Wouldn't it be better if we all attempted to count and quantify things instead of being content with ignorance of the actual numbers that affect things? Finally, when we multiply and increase numbers, good things usually happen. This is particularly true when it is by natural, conventional means. Growth is generally a good thing. Ever had a plant or a savings account or a stock that didn't grow? How happy were you with it after awhile? Not much, I'm sure.

Next, let's look at the words for CED and contrast them with the words we just looked at for SQM.

Confuse: To mix or blend things, so that they cannot be distinguished; to disorder; to perplex; to throw the mind into disorder.
Equivocate: To use words of a doubtful signification; to express one's opinions in terms which admit of different senses; to use ambiguous expressions.
Divide: To part or separate an entire thing; to cause to be separate; to make partition of; to disunite in opinion or interest.

Who likes it when it appears as though someone is trying to confuse you? When things that shouldn't be mixed or blended are? Who likes a constant state of disorder and/or being perplexed all the time? I have to be honest with you, I hate it when situations are just plain confusing! How about when words are ambiguous and/or the meaning of what is being spoken is doubtful? How about when opinions expressed seem to be completely contrary to our normal common senses? No thanks! Isn't it a lot better to be united versus being divided? How many of us really like it when things separate us? Not me!

So, now you know a bit more about SQM vs. CED. With that knowledge of this concept, what are you going to do about it going forward? May I suggest you consider the following:

1. Simplify, don't confuse things. If it is up to you and you have a choice in the matter, go simple.

2. Quantify, don't equivocate on things. Let's all count things and look for the common ground. Let's all stop the habit of continually changing the equation versus solving the one before us first.

3. Multiply, don't divide. What can you do to grow things? What can you do to unify? Look for those opportunities versus always focusing on what divides.

SQM vs. CED. Try it, I think you'll like it.

Charity vs. Charitable Giving

What a difference a week makes...

Just last week, I finished filing our taxes for 2009, and to be honest, I was very pleased with them when completed. What? How can Vince say that he was pleased with his taxes after completing them? Is he some kind of nut or what? Well, I was pleased for two reasons.

First, we will be getting a refund instead of having to pay. (Actually this is bad news. I really need to make some adjustments to my allowances so that we keep our money throughout the year instead of the government keeping it for us! But, that will have to be the subject of another blog some other day...)

Second, our charitable giving totals were really great! What a blessing to look back on 2009 and calculate just how much money we actually gave away! I will have to admit, however that the deduction we received for our charitable giving was nice, too! :-)

But then, two totally unrelated activities (or were they?) occured that really humbled me and caused me to rethink how pleased I was after completing my taxes.

As God would have it (He's always teaching me through life experiences!), our neighbors down the street who have been struggling for several years financially (and in a lot of other ways - unemployment, poor health, etc.) had to move out of their house on Wednesday. Right on the heels of that, I had lunch on Thursday with a wonderful, godly man from our church and we discussed at length charity and what God calls us to do for the poor in our midst.

Wow. I realized all too quickly that there is a really big difference between charity and charitable giving.

Charity means giving help to those in need who are not related to you. It also means extending the love of God to others in a completely unlimited way. The poor (widows, orphans, the sick and disabled, etc.) are regarded as proper objects for our charity. This means we are to be primarily concerned with providing them with food, water, clothing, and shelter, and tending to them when they are ill. Beyond this, charity can also mean visiting those who are imprisoned or homebound, and/or ransoming those who are captive against their will.

Sadly, like most Americans, I don't think I really understand charity at all.

Rather, it is too easy for me to just practice charitable giving. And then when I have, I all too frequently congratulate myself with what I've done.

So, what exactly is charitable giving? It is giving money to a person or a church or other worthy cause, either directly or by means of a fund or trust. It can frequently just be a religious act or duty. Not that charitable giving is a bad thing. It really isn't. But, at a minimum, it's just not the same as charity.

What a difference a week makes...

Lord, help me to practice true charity in 2010, not just charitable giving. And let me have a heart filled with JOY (not resentment) as I do it.

It's easy to start something...

How can it be February 7th already? Wasn't New Year's Day just a week ago or so? Wow. Time sure flies when you're getting as old as I am!

A lot of us probably made New Year's resolutions at the start of 2010. I'm wondering? How are you doing with those resolutions? Have you accomplished any of them? I'm afraid it's easy to start something. But, it is so much harder to stay with it...

Take this blog, for example. I enjoy blogging. I really do! And, I love having a place to post my humble thoughts each week. However, when I sit down to do this (usually on Sundays), I find myself saying as I do, "Why am I still writing on this blog?" and "Is anyone even reading these posts of mine?" and "Should I keep doing this? For how long?" No matter how much you like doing something, you are always going to be faced with those times when you say to yourself, "Why bother?"

Well, I can think of at least three good reasons to continue the discipline of writing on this blog.

First, it really is good therapy for the soul, and a pretty good brain exercise as well. It requires me to think about what I want to say, and then to carefully compose each word so that anyone reading this gets a chance to see into me and find out what all is going on in my life. Kind of scary, but good to do anyway.

Second, it helps keep me somewhat connected with all of you who read it. For the longest time (probably almost 30 years after I moved away from my parents), my wonderful Mom faithfully wrote a letter and mailed it to me each week. Almost like clockwork, she'd write telling me/us about what she and Dad had been doing, what they had been thinking, about current events in the world and/or news about our family (about my siblings, aunts and uncles, etc.). I loved the connection those letters provided. Even if she really didn't have big news to tell, she still wrote her letter. I guess I'm beginning to think that this blog is my version of Mom's "letter writing" (21st century style). Even though this blog is not the personal, hand-written letters I received from Mom, maybe it serves a similar purpose? When I write on this blog, I feel a connectedness to lots of people who tell me they are reading it. And, that's worth a lot to me! My hope is that this blog provides some connectedness to people that I would otherwise not be in touch with as regularly.

Third, I like having a place where I can stand for things I believe in and express my values. It seems to me that a lot of people today are afraid to stand up for what they believe in. It appears as though lots of people just accept things without thinking them through. Some don't even know why they believe what they believe. I think that is terribly unfortunate. What a shame when people just mimic what they've heard from someone else (or read in some unreliable source), not really understanding how to defend truths. I believe that too many of us subscribe to things just because they are "cool," but we can't adequately express our deepest convictions. That's sad.

Finally, this blog was a gift from a very special person (thanks, Andy!). I was taught to be grateful when I was given a gift. It seems only proper to share this gift with others. With this blog I have the wonderful opportunity of thanking the person that gave it to me again and again. In a lot of ways, this has to be one of the best gifts I've ever received!

Lord willing, I'll continue writing here on Sundays for a little while longer. You see, I need the therapy it provides for my soul. I need the brain exercises it gives me. I love the connectedness it gives me with others. And, it has become a place where I can take a stand for what I believe in.

It's easy to start something...

It's much harder to stay with it...

A Song In My Head

Sometimes I can feel a bit overwhelmed by life. I seem to be in one of those places right now. Just a bit overwhelmed. While I am not really very fond of times like these, God does speak to me in them. That is, if I am listening...

A couple events happened this weekend that God used to get my attention. Let me explain.

As a family, we played The Game of Things together on Friday night. (If you haven't had a chance to experience this game yet, you should. It's really a lot of fun to play, especially with your family!) Anyway, during the game, one of the cards that we were to provide an answer for said, "Things that don't stop." Someone in our family answered, "The song in my heart." I thought to myself as we were playing, do I have a song in my heart? And frankly, I had to admit that I didn't. There hadn't been too many songs in my heart lately. When you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, the ability to have songs in your heart kind of goes away.

Then on Saturday when I was out and about running errands (trying to catch up on all the things that I had not had time to do lately because of feeling a bit overwhelmed!), I heard a great song on the radio. I particularly noticed the chorus, and that chorus kept playing over and over again in my head. Not much time passed before I heard the same song again on the radio, twice in a short amount of time! I guess God wanted me to hear it.

So, while I might not have had a song in my heart for awhile due to feeling a bit overwhelmed by life, I do have a song in my head. And that song is Matthew West's "The Motions." The lyrics are quite sobering. They seem to be the words of someone else who was also feeling a bit overwhelmed by life. Read them below and then reflect on what they are saying.


This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?"

Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

I don't wanna go through the motions


Listening to this song really made me think. Am I just going through the motions in life right now? If so, what a terrible thing to admit to. Honest, but terrible.

Then I had to remind myself that sometimes when I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, that is all I am able to do - just go through the motions. Sometimes I need to make changes to simplify my life in order to get out from under the feelings of being overwhelmed. Then, if I keep things simple for awhile and wait, the rest of me has a chance to catch up, allowing me to once again experience life more fully again.

Jesus said in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."

An abundant life isn't one that overwhelms you.

It is easy for me to get out of balance in life. Sometimes I just need a song in my head to remind me that overwhelmed with life is not where I want to be.

Family Dinners

Tonight, our immediate family (all 8 of us) will be having dinner together. I can't wait! We had dinner together last weekend also, that time celebrating the birthday of one of our members. This time it will be for the purpose of "sending-off" a couple of our members who are moving on to new and exciting adventures in NYC.

Family dinners. They're wonderful!

I'm becoming more and more convinced that if all families in this country had dinners together, a lot of our societal problems would disappear.

This thought was really driven home to me about 15+ years ago (and it may have even been longer?). My family and I were planning to have dinner at a restaurant after work. I invited a young, single co-worker of mine to join us in that dinner. It wasn't any big deal really. Just a lot of "carbs" and some Cokes at a kids pizza joint I think (like Chuckie Cheeses?). But, we were having dinner together and sharing with each other about the events of our days (work, school, things at home, etc.). In the midst of our meal, my co-worker suddenly stopped eating and began to just sit there and observe what was going on with our family. After a short while, I noticed that he wasn't eating anymore and asked him if everything was O.K. He told me that he was not sure when his family last had a meal together. He said that the norm for his family (a Mom, a Dad, and one brother) was to grab whatever his Mom fixed them to eat, and then each would go off to their own separate rooms and/or television sets to eat (maybe watching a TV program while they did). Apparently, they seldom if ever had family dinners together.

Unfortunately, I've lost touch with that co-worker, but the last time I heard from him, his family was split up and having lots of troubles. How sad...

So, what's the big deal about having dinner together as a family? What difference does it make anyway? Well, I think there are several reasons why it is still a good idea for families.

First, everyone in the family has to temporarily put aside their own agenda/schedule and make room for it. That's a great exercise in unselfish behavior. And for some, that's a real sacrifice. I don't know about you, but I need things like family dinners in my life to remind me that it's not all about me and my agenda/schedule.

Second, at our family dinners, we pray together. We pray before the meal and hold hands all around the table. And, when it is someone's special day (like a birthday or because of a big accomplishment/goal reached), we each have a chance to voice a short prayer for and about that special person as we go around the table. I love those times! There used to be a little saying that was popular that went something like this, "The family that prays together, stays together." I like that.

Third, when you personally participate in family dinners, you are somehow more willing to accept each other's differences, putting those differences aside (at least temporarily). At family dinners, everyone usually focuses on what brings us together, not what separates us. We all need occasions that help us to do that.

So, in my humble opinion, there is no better way to foster love and unity in a family than to spend unselfish time together at family dinners. By agreeing to do this and following the very simple "rules" for doing so (putting aside your agenda/schedule and accepting others lovingly for who they are, not what you wish they'd become), each family member is given a great opportunity to hear what is going on in others' lives, learn what others think about certain topics, and develop a much deeper appreciation for your family members than you would have if you'd skipped the dinner.

If you have an opportunity to experience dinner with all of your family, don't miss it! Don't take these precious times for granted either. I'm convinced that family dinners are what hold us together and keep us on track.

Praise God for family dinners.

What if he was?

First of all, let me just say that I am not a big fan of Pat Robertson and I do not condone what he had to say this week about Haiti following the completely devastating earthquake that happened there. Apparently, it is a natural disaster of epoch proportions! A lot of lives were snuffed out in an instant when that quake hit, and the hurt/pain for those who remain must be completely overwhelming. We need to be praying for the relief efforts in Haiti, as well as sending whatever support we can.

But, a lot of you may have been asking yourselves this week how anyone could be so seemingly insensitive to say what Robertson said about Haiti? Me, too. Similarly, a lot of you are probably saying to yourself: "What was he thinking?" Me, too.

However, as the days rolled on the abundant onslaught of severe criticism for Robertson following his words (some from prominent national figures who are also Christ followers, and some from Christ followers who are here in my circle in Plano, Texas) was not very Christ-like either. As a matter of fact, some of the criticisms were almost as disturbing as what Robertson said in the first place. Aren't we Christ followers supposed to be willing to extend grace to others? The same grace that we have already been given from the Lord? Why are we so prone to publicly pile on, attacking a fellow believer so boldly? Have we forgotten that we've made grevious mistakes in the past, too?

So, I asked myself this question: "What if he was?" What if God chose to speak today through someone here on earth like Robertson? Would we even hear it? Would we even be able to accept what he had to say as a word from God? I know that God primarily speaks to us today through His Word, the Bible. But, what if He decided to use another human being as His mouthpiece today?

Seems to me that the powerful influence of "public opinion" has become our new American idol. It seems to me that we worship on the altar of "public opinion" daily these days. No one wants to be on the wrong side of the generally accepted consensus of "public opinion." No one wants to stand alone for some thought or opinion that might be terribly unpopular and against the generally accepted consensus of "public opinion."

But, what if "public opinion" and what is wildly popular in America today was contrary to God's Word and His message to us? What would we as Christ followers in America do then? What do we as American Christ followers do when confronted with this dilema?

While pondering this idea, I was led to II Timothy 4:3-5 for some sobering words. Here's how those verses read in The Message:

"You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you're doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God's servant."

These words were written by Paul back in the first century A.D. to Timothy (and subsequently to all Christ followers after them). Even way back then, Paul was warning Timothy (and us as God's servants?) of the immense problems that arise when we are too quick to gravitate towards elevating the value of "public opinion" versus standing on the truths contained in the Word of God.

I would dare say that all of us probably need to check our motivations concerning our reactions to what Robertson said. Hopefully, Robertson is checking his motivations for what he said as well.

We all need grace.

Tiger Illusions

Illusion - A deceptive appearance; a false show, by which a person is or may be deceived, or his expectations disappointed; mockery.

In the past month or so, most of our Tiger Illusions have probably been completely dashed.

More than likely, we have all discovered that the things we wanted to believe about Tiger Woods and/or maybe were even told to believe about him (largely by our sports media and large advertising conglomerates) just weren't true. They were Tiger Illusions.

Yes, he still remains one of the most famous athletes of all time.

Yes, he still remains one of the wealthiest athletes to have ever played the game of golf (or any other "game" for that matter!).

Yes, he will probably be remembered in history as one of the most astonishing sports figures ever, someone who truly mastered his game. At the top of his game, he is far better than his competition. No one else really even comes close to Tiger when he plays at his best!

But now, all of the incredible personal accomplishments of Tiger Woods are being completely overshadowed and/or somewhat discredited by his surprising (and numerous?) moral failures. This is yet another very sad entry to the world's Hall of Shame, an all too popular destination for way too many famous personalities these days. How sad...

Why is it that someone (like Tiger Woods) can fall so far and so fast in the eyes of so many? I mean, this guy has practically gone from first to worst in an incredibly short amount of time. It is amazing to see how quickly people dumped Tiger.

So, why did this happen? I believe it's because of the grand illusions created for Tiger by our media and advertisers. They all had a vested interest in keeping the illusion going.

In light of what has been disclosed in the past month about Tiger Woods and his apparent numerous illicit affairs and one-night stands, don't you think that lots of people probably knew about these blemishes on his otherwise squeaky clean image? Why didn't any of them come forward earlier and straighten things out for all of us? Why were these details about Tiger's life kept quiet and secretive for so long? Why were so many people unwilling to talk about any of this until Tiger and his wife had their middle-of-the-night tif in late November?

I believe that lust for power/money and a insatiable desire on the part of many to become part of the great Tiger Woods illusion is why.

You see, once an illusion is created, there's a lot invested in maintaining that illusion. Oftentimes illusions make a boatload of money for a lot of people beyond the one who the illusion is all about. Soon, there is so much money invested in the illusion that everyone who knows the real truth about the person is unwilling to cut off their ticket to stardom and/or wealth by debunking the illusion. There is no incentive for them in letting everyone know the truth. That is, of course, until the first person is brave enough to speak up. Then, watch everyone come out of the woodwork telling all of what they know about the person the illusion was created for. It really snowballs and sometimes gets ugly.

Tiger Illusions are now dashed. But, I am wondering how many other deceptive appearances are out there? Who else is putting on a false show, deceiving us by their mockery? What other illusion has been created by our media that will be found out next November (if not sooner)? Hmmm?

Are we living Nineteen Eighty-Four?

I had to run a quick errand the other day on the way to work. I needed to stop by a wholesale plumbing supply place to pick up something that we had already ordered and paid for. As I waited for the man behind the counter to locate and then retrieve my faucet so that I could be on my way, I thought to myself, "Are we living Nineteen Eighty-Four?" Here's a few reasons why I'd say that.

You see, there were three other gentlemen and a lady in that big room besides me (and the man helping me). Each of them had already started their work day. Each of them was passively staring at their computer screen, apparently not very interested or engaged in their work. Each of them looked like they weren't quite sure what they were supposed to be doing. They definitely were not talking to each other (or to me, for that matter). Each one appeared to have a relatively sad expression on their face also. Within the same big room was a big screen television, mounted high on the wall and blaring annoyingly. It was Matt Lauer on one of the morning shows interviewing some relatively young whiz kid (?) who had written something about what we might all have to do when gas in this country hits $20 a gallon. This guy was outlining the changes that will be progressively required of us as we march toward this outrageous (but arbitrary and imaginative) cost for gasoline. Let me tell you, it was just plain depressing!

By the way, where we live, gas prices seem to be going down lately versus rising. So, one might ask, "Why was this considered newsworthy and made out to be a big story?" Hmmmm.

That's when I thought to myself again, "Are we living Nineteen Eighty-Four?"

Some of you reading this are probably scratching your heads now and wondering to yourself, "What in the world is he talking about?"

Well, 60 years ago, an English writer by the name of George Orwell published an incredible book entitled "Nineteen Eighty-Four." When I was in high school in the late 60's/early 70's, everyone was required to read it. It's a fascinating book! If you haven't ever read it, you really should.

Basically, Orwell wrote a dystopian novel - that's opposed to a utopian one. It focuses on a repressive, totalitarian regime set in the future - 1984. The story follows the life of one seemingly insignificant man, a character named Winston Smith, who as a civil servant was assigned the task of perpetuating the ruling regime's propaganda by falsifying records and political literature. Smith gradually grows disillusioned with his meager existence as a civil servant. He eventually begins a rebellion against "the system," leading to his eventual arrest and torture.

Undoubtedly, lots of you have heard about some of the concepts from this book. Frequently people will refer to something as being "Orwellian." Or, perhaps you've heard the terms "Big Brother" and/or "the Thought Police?" They are from Orwell's book.

Not to be an alarmist here, but there are times when I really get concerned about how much power cable news media (not to mention news/information in print and on the Internet) has over some of us. Just like the people I briefly encountered in that wholesale plumbing supply place the other day, sometimes we just sit and involuntarily take it all in - whatever the media decides to give us, we accept. Sadly, some of us frequently believe it all to be true, too.

These days, there are multiple televisions blaring in many public places - usually tuned-in to CNN or some other 24/7 cable news channel? They command a lot of our attention and wield a lot of power over some of us. In Nineteen Eighty-Four, Orwell called that "Newspeak," and they even had their own language, called "Ingsoc." They also had the "Ministry of Plenty," responsible for rationing and controlling food and goods; the "Ministry of Peace," responsible for perpetuating war; and the "Ministry of Love," responsible for the identification, monitoring, arrest and torture of dissidents, real or imagined (just to name a few).

Orwell died from the complications of tuberculosis not long after his book was published. In a closing statement to the New York Times Book Review back in 1949 he had these parting words to say: "...totalitarianism, if not fought against, could triumph anywhere."

Are we living Nineteen Eighty-Four? Think about it.

Poll numbers, junk science and other untruths

Has anyone else noticed lately how there seem to be polls out there for just about anything? Who creates these polls, and why are they created? More importantly, who votes in them? I've never voted in the polls seen in newspapers or on other media outlets (except maybe for some random internet polling?). Have you?

I guess polls are what we as a society want these days for truth. If a majority of people in a poll believe something or think a certain way, it must be truth, right? Isn't that how it works?

Has anyone else also noticed that it appears as though you can get the final results of a poll to say just about whatever you want them to say, just by carefully establishing "who" asks the questions, then by carefully controlling "who" answers them, then cleverly disguising "what" your original bias/starting point-of-view really is, and voila! The poll tells you just what you hoped it would! Completely different groups can issue results of polls and get their particular results to say just what they want them to say, even if their results are completely opposite of what some other poll tells you. It just depends on whose poll you look at and decide to trust.

I hate to be cynical, but I really don't put a lot of stock in poll numbers for truth.

Likewise, there is a lot of junk science out there these days. You can find a lot of so-called "scientists" claiming truth at complete opposite ends of an issue. In my simple way of thinking, there really can't be truth very often at completely opposite ends of an issue. Someone must be lying.

Just like the polls, you can get final results of an experiment/hypothesis to say just about whatever you want them to say just by establishing what data you use (and which data you conveniently ignore). Then, you disguise your original bias/starting point-of-view well and the results speak for themselves, right?

Once again, I hate to be cynical, but I really don't put a lot of stock in junk science for truth either.

There are a lot of other untruths out there these days, too. Don't be fooled by them! Lots of people are being fooled by them each and every day. It's really sad...

So, where can we find real truth then? Call me old-fashioned, but for me truth has to be truth both now and a hundred/thousand years ago. Anybody who claims "new" truth even though it just doesn't line up with (or sometimes even completely disregards) historical truth to me is very suspect. I do believe there can be and are new discoveries, but the times that we live in can't be continually making new discoveries that totally disregard historical truths. Smart as we may think we are in this society, we aren't that smart! It just doesn't make sense.

For that reason (and a lot of others!), I really depend on one book for real truth - the Bible. Name for me any other book that has been around as long as it has and is still relevant to our lives each and every day that we live? Precious few books can even come close to making such a claim. It is remarkable to me that you can literally discover a truth for just about any and all subjects in the 66 books contained the Bible. Whether it be about the origins of life, family relationships (including marriage and children), what foods to eat, how our criminal justice system should work, what to do about the poor in our midst, the good and bad of politics, poetry, music, healthcare, your finances, etc. It's amazing! If you haven't opened up this magnificent book in awhile and searched for the truths contained therein, you really ought to.

Poll numbers, junk science and other untruths. Don't be fooled by them! Counter-balance what the secular world has to offer you as truth by looking at the real truths contained in the Bible. Those truths will still be around a hundred/thousand years from now, whereas a lot of the stuff our society mistakenly declares as truth today will be long gone.

Wanna Get Away?

Southwest Airlines has some of the best advertisements! One of my favorites (and one of the funniest ever) is their Wanna Get Away? campaign. You've probably seen one of these ads and laughed at it yourself. But, in case you haven't, the premise is this. Someone in the ad does something really stupid and/or embarrassing, to which the announcer for the ad acknowledges (along with everyone else watching the ad) that the only thing that person can/should do is get away from that situation. Southwest Airlines just happens to provide a lot of places for you to get away to. It is really an effective campaign (as well as extremely humorous). We've all been there...

Lately I have been thinking a lot about wanting to get away. As a matter of fact, my sweet wife and I did get away last weekend for a wonderful "Weekend to Remember" in Little Rock, Arkansas. It was wonderful! Really wonderful!

But, what is it about a lot of us that we sometimes persistently feel the need to get away? What are we trying to get away from, and why?

Well, just like in the advertisements, sometimes we have done something really stupid and/or embarrassing and we think that getting away is the only answer to our situation. Just pack it up, move out of (or away from) the situation and start all over again. Sometimes it is just too painful and humiliating to stay in that particular situation and deal with the consequences and/or comments people make regarding our stupid and/or embarrassing mistake. Like I said earlier, if we are honest with each other, we've all been there...

Lately I've had the urge/idea to get away from our country. There are so many things going on in the politics/government of this land that I don't agree with and really don't like. I can't begin to tell you how much I don't like some of these things! So, it seems very logical to me to want to get away. But, where am I going to get away to? There have even been urges to get away from our city, our neighborhood, and/or our house. Sometimes it seems like starting all over with a clean slate would solve a lot of problems. But, would it really?

Since I am going to hit the ripe old age of double nickels (55) this September, I have also been giving a lot of thought to getting away from my job/career (and some of the incredible responsibilities that go along with that job/career). How much longer am I supposed to do this anyway? How much longer do I work at this job/career that I've been so fortunate to enjoy for more than 31 years? What's the next thing on the horizon for me from a job/career standpoint? Somedays I really, really enjoy my job/career. And then there are other days when I really want to get away.

Sadly, there are even some days (and I really hate to admit it, but I'm just being painfully honest here) when I want to get away from some of the people and relationships in my life. Maybe it is the people that I work with who don't seem to understand me or who are moving away from me? Or maybe it is some of my friendships that are different now and I am just ready to move on to someone/something new? That is when I scare myself about wanting to get away.

In pondering this subject the last couple of days leading up to writing this blog, I have narrowed it down to the following three things I REALLY want to get away from.

First, I want to get away from being a quitter when it comes to our country, our city, our neighborhood and even our house. What good does quitting do? Would anything get better if I quit? Who is going to turn our country and city and neighborhood around if not me? Why would I even consider abandoning my part in all of this? So what if it requires a lot more work and a lot more hassle and a lot more prayer? I need to hang in there and influence our future in a positive and godly way. That is what I am called to do as a Christ follower.

Second, I want to get away from fantasizing about leaving a terrific job/career (and the responsibilities that go with it). I have been so blessed by my job/career for many years. Until I am called to the next thing, why not be faithful to the situation God currently has me in? There is still a lot more work to be done where I am. Who's going to do that work if I check out and abandon my post? I need to give it my best effort and make a difference where I am until God moves me to that next place, wherever that may be.

Third, I want to get away from a selfishness/self-centeredness that causes me to even think about leaving certain friendships/relationships. I believe that God brings certain people my way for an express purpose, and He put me in this specific family for His kingdom and His purposes. Who am I to even consider abandoning that just because it is at times difficult, uncomfortable, challenging and perhaps even unpleasant? God is sovereign. He knows just where I am and who I am with. He has me here in these relationships and this family for His well-defined purposes. Why not live into those purposes so that He can take me to the next assignments He has planned in advance for me?

What about you? Are there times when you wanna get away, too? In spite of what the Southwest Airlines ads say, just a quick get away to another city/country doesn't solve anything. Sometimes the best thing you can do when you find yourself in a situation where you wanna get away is to look up and ask God, "What are you expecting me to do in the place You have placed me right now?" Following His plan for your life is much more satisfying and long-lasting than a weekend or month long escape from your current situation.

The high cost of leadership

When you are a recognized leader of something, you can no longer be just a "Regular Joe." In the eyes of a lot of people, you can't just say whatever you want to say anymore. Everything that comes out of your mouth will be evaluated/criticized by somebody looking to you as a leader.

Just ask President Obama about this.

This past week, he chose to try to be just a "Regular Joe" on Jay Leno's show (why he would choose to do that as President of the United States is questionable?). Apparently, in the course of talking with Leno about living in the White House, the President was asked about the bowling lanes that are in the basement there? And Jay Leno asked him what his bowling score was? And Obama said he bowled something like a 129? As everyone in the audience started laughing at that pitiful score (?), the President made a very off-handed comment while laughing himself that went something like this, "Yeah, it was kind of like the Special Olympics."

Oops! Hey Mr. President, you can't say something like that now. You are the recognized leader of the United States of America. Everything you say and do is being filmed and recorded, and your life is now under a microscope. The whole world is watching! You can no longer be just a "Regular Joe" and make wise cracks like that.

Needless to say, President Obama had to quickly apologize to several people, not the least of which was the head of the Special Olympics program. And this all had to be done within hours of the gaffe, just to make it right with everyone and contain the damage caused by his words.

The high cost of leadership.

But, it's not just President Obama who has to watch what he says/does. If you are the recognized leader of something, you have to watch what you say and do, too. As much as you might want to just be a "Regular Joe," people will be evaluating (and possibly criticizing?) your every move.

I am always taken aback at my work when people say something to me that reveals that when they look at me and/or listen to what I have to say, they are thinking, "This is coming from a Senior Vice President and the Chair of the Design Council." Likewise, at my church the same thing happens and the words might be something like this, "These are the words/actions of a Life Group leader and elder of our church." Even at home, my family can sometimes be shocked when I laugh at something, enjoy a certain movie or say something that might be a little bit different than what they would normally expect from just plain ol' Dad. No more "Regular Joe" for this guy!

Am I complaining? No. Is it frustrating at times when people have much higher expectations of you than they should? Yes. Is it good to have high standards for the behavior of our leaders? Of course.

If you are a leader of something, you should set a higher bar for your behavior and be a better example of living than a lot of other people. But, leaders make mistakes and have feet of clay, too. Sometimes they are just "Regular Joe" people who have reluctantly stepped into visible leadership positions and are completely depending on the grace of God to carry them through (and not make too many mistakes!).

The high cost of leadership can be expensive for a "Regular Joe" like me.

Whatever happened to gratefulness?

Last week, we received the sweetest hand-written thank you note from a very special person in our lives. In it this sweet person actually expressed a lot of heartfelt gratefulness for something we had done - gifts given. How nice! Tonight I will need to sit down and write a couple of hand-written thank you notes to special people who showed me great kindness/love and generous hospitality this past weekend when I was in Arizona. I am so grateful for what they all did to make my visit/stay nice and I don't want to take that all for granted. But, I actually started rationalizing in my head the following thoughts: "Do I really need to write a note? Didn't I thank them enough in person already?"

Whatever happened to gratefulness in our culture/society? Why did I even think that I could get away with not formally thanking someone for kindnesses shown/gifts given?

In light of the current situation we find ourselves in as the United States of America, I am wondering if the biggest problem we have as a nation isn't the fact that we have somewhat forgotten our manners and how to be grateful? We have been blessed beyond imagination as a people, and yet it seems like all we hear these days are complaints and lots of people shouting "What about me? What are you going to do for me?"

What if everyone who read this post decided to start thanking God (and each other, as appropriate) for all the ways we have been blessed and/or assisted in each other's richness/well-being? What if our first impulse at the start of each day (and throughout the course of each day) was to continually thank God and the people in our lives versus just accept blessing upon blessing without ever thanking the One who has given so much? What if the most common words out of our mouths (and written down) were words of gratefulness? Doesn't it seem to you that a lot of our unhealthy self-absorption and fussing over silly issues would somewhat melt away if we were more concerned with who we could thank versus who we should complain to?

What about you? When was the last time you thanked God for your life and each breath and hope for tomorrow and your very existence? When was the last time you actually took the time to write a hand-written note to people in your life thanking them for a gift or some other kindness they bestowed on you?

Whatever happened to gratefulness? Let's make a decision today to bring gratefulness back to our daily routine. Let's set the bar higher than those around us by always being grateful and then watch to see how attitudes and outlooks about life get transformed when we model gratefulness (versus self-absorption and complaining). Give it a try!

Thanks for reading this post! I am grateful for the freedom to be able to do this!

God Help America!

The more common expression for the first two centuries of our existence as a nation has been "God Bless America." But, given the current condition/status of the United States of America, I don't think we can ask God to bless our country anymore than He already has. Rather than more blessings, I am beginning to think that our greatest need is for His help, not more blessings.

Take the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (the so-called "stimulus package" passed by our Congress recently) for example. Is anyone else tired of hearing about how this act is going to "save the day" for us and make everything right again in this country? Even if that were true (and I believe it is not), at what cost will this "saving the day" happen? And more importantly, who's going to pay for it? Seems like we are acting more and more like Alice in Wonderland or Pollyana as a country these days. We are willing to believe just about anything and anybody (to our apparent long-term detriment). We are all hopeful that "this too shall pass." But, is that really being responsible/wise? Have we crossed the line and there is no turning back to the way things once were?

Read the following quote attributed to Alexander Francis Tytler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh. Apparently, this is what he had to say about democracies (similar to our form of government here in the United States): "A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, nations always progress through the following sequence: from bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependence; and from dependence back into bondage."

From the looks of things in the news these days, I would have to say that at 233 years (and counting) we as a nation are dangerously close to the "dependence" stage in our democracy and heading towards the "bondage" stage at the not too far away end of our democracy. You can hardly deny the facts. They are all around us. I guess we've had thirty-three more years than the average democracy, but that is hardly any consolation for those of us who really love this country and what it's stood for. God Help America!

So, what do we do? Just wring our hands and give up? Hardly. Seems to me the best thing we could do as individuals (and as a nation) at this point is to fight with all our might against all the "traps" that got us to this place. If you have abundance, don't let it cause you to be complacent. If you are complacent, don't let it cause you to be apathetic. If you find yourself apathetic towards this great country of ours and really don't care about what happens (politically, morally, governmentally, etc.), fight against allowing yourself to grow dependent on anyone or anything other than God. Fight! The existence of our nation depends on you and me. Do something/anything to avoid slipping into a bondage situation with our government. It's not too late, but we are closer to the end than most of us imagine.

God Help America!