Family Dinners

Tonight, our immediate family (all 8 of us) will be having dinner together. I can't wait! We had dinner together last weekend also, that time celebrating the birthday of one of our members. This time it will be for the purpose of "sending-off" a couple of our members who are moving on to new and exciting adventures in NYC.

Family dinners. They're wonderful!

I'm becoming more and more convinced that if all families in this country had dinners together, a lot of our societal problems would disappear.

This thought was really driven home to me about 15+ years ago (and it may have even been longer?). My family and I were planning to have dinner at a restaurant after work. I invited a young, single co-worker of mine to join us in that dinner. It wasn't any big deal really. Just a lot of "carbs" and some Cokes at a kids pizza joint I think (like Chuckie Cheeses?). But, we were having dinner together and sharing with each other about the events of our days (work, school, things at home, etc.). In the midst of our meal, my co-worker suddenly stopped eating and began to just sit there and observe what was going on with our family. After a short while, I noticed that he wasn't eating anymore and asked him if everything was O.K. He told me that he was not sure when his family last had a meal together. He said that the norm for his family (a Mom, a Dad, and one brother) was to grab whatever his Mom fixed them to eat, and then each would go off to their own separate rooms and/or television sets to eat (maybe watching a TV program while they did). Apparently, they seldom if ever had family dinners together.

Unfortunately, I've lost touch with that co-worker, but the last time I heard from him, his family was split up and having lots of troubles. How sad...

So, what's the big deal about having dinner together as a family? What difference does it make anyway? Well, I think there are several reasons why it is still a good idea for families.

First, everyone in the family has to temporarily put aside their own agenda/schedule and make room for it. That's a great exercise in unselfish behavior. And for some, that's a real sacrifice. I don't know about you, but I need things like family dinners in my life to remind me that it's not all about me and my agenda/schedule.

Second, at our family dinners, we pray together. We pray before the meal and hold hands all around the table. And, when it is someone's special day (like a birthday or because of a big accomplishment/goal reached), we each have a chance to voice a short prayer for and about that special person as we go around the table. I love those times! There used to be a little saying that was popular that went something like this, "The family that prays together, stays together." I like that.

Third, when you personally participate in family dinners, you are somehow more willing to accept each other's differences, putting those differences aside (at least temporarily). At family dinners, everyone usually focuses on what brings us together, not what separates us. We all need occasions that help us to do that.

So, in my humble opinion, there is no better way to foster love and unity in a family than to spend unselfish time together at family dinners. By agreeing to do this and following the very simple "rules" for doing so (putting aside your agenda/schedule and accepting others lovingly for who they are, not what you wish they'd become), each family member is given a great opportunity to hear what is going on in others' lives, learn what others think about certain topics, and develop a much deeper appreciation for your family members than you would have if you'd skipped the dinner.

If you have an opportunity to experience dinner with all of your family, don't miss it! Don't take these precious times for granted either. I'm convinced that family dinners are what hold us together and keep us on track.

Praise God for family dinners.