It's been approximately 100 days since I retired from HDR in December, 2018. In some ways it seems like a lot longer than that. In other ways I say to myself, "It's been that long already?" In short, I am absolutely loving retirement. I still feel so blessed to even be in this amazing situation - unbelievably blessed, blessed beyond imagination actually! But, as it says in the Bible:
"From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, even more will be expected." (Luke 12:48 CSB).
Leading up to my retirement, people would ask, "So what are you going to do when you retire?" My tongue-in-cheek answer became: "For the first six months, I want to be completely irresponsible." You see, I've had a bad case of the responsibilities for a long time and felt like I really needed to just chill and let each day come as it might for a while - not have too much of an agenda; be little more relaxed than I was prone to being while working. I'm still in that first six months and am probably failing at being completely irresponsible, but I am (with the help of my sweet wife, Ellen) learning to be a lot more interested in enjoying life versus just accomplishing tasks. However, a leopard cannot change his spots either (Jeremiah 13:23). Enjoying life and not fussing over the details? What a concept.
So, the purpose of this post is to reflect on some of the things I am learning in retirement and impart some other ideas about retirement to all of you who read this blog. Hopefully the next few minutes will be an interesting and thought-provoking read for you? If not, my apologies.
First of all, I feel like I am actually enjoying life for the first time in a long time. That is not to say that I didn't enjoy life before. I did! But, rather than feeling pressure to earn a living, accomplish tasks, and be completely responsible, I am actually beginning to realize that just enjoying life here at our home is really okay to do. Ellen has done this for years and has really been a big help in getting me there. I'm actually loving doing more domestic chores and activities with her. Why not help with more things around the house, in the kitchen, with the cleaning, etc. and free us up for other activities away from here together? I'm still in my "detox" phase of this, but learning to love life and experiencing all good things (with Ellen's wonderful help). I'm loving it!
How absolutely freeing it was to throw away my desktop calendar and just use my cell phone for "commitments" and other scheduled activities. Wow. I was so calendar-obsessive before I retired. Literally everything went on my calendar (or on a "things-to-do" list). Way too often I was overly concerned with where my time was being spent and how fast I could get things done. I had to fill out a time sheet and keep budgets for my time after all! So now I'm learning to relax more and not be so driven by time (and lists!). Still have a long ways to go, but I'm learning to enjoy the freedom.
I've recently discovered I don't need to take anything to the dry cleaners anymore. As a matter of fact, one of the first things I did was rearrange all the clothes in my closet, placing the more casual attire in the primary locations (because that is all I wear anymore!). Some of you who know me well know that I always seemed to want to be more "dressed up" versus super casual. Still have that bent, but I am not missing wearing office attire each day at all! Casual clothes everyday is wonderful! I might happily also admit to staying all day in my pajamas, too! Not more than a dozen times, I'm sure. And after all, why not on those cold winter days? Just because I can. SMILE.
The final few months/years of working, traffic to and from work here in the Dallas area was causing me to want to move to the country and get completely away from it (and fast!). The morning drive to work and evening drive home from work were my very least favorite activities. Now, we can travel the highways and byways in the middle of the day and avoid a lot of the congested Dallas traffic. Sweet! It is so fun to be able to be out during the day and not have to fight traffic. I'm actually beginning to enjoy living in the Dallas area again!
Quite a shock to my system was the first time I found myself at Kroger after a morning doctor appointment. I happened to look around and observe who was at the store with me. Seemed to be a lot of really "old" people and people with various visible needs (I hope they weren't saying the same thing about me?). All of a sudden I asked myself: "How did I get in this demographic?" Well, get used to it, Bucko! That's where you are these days. You are now a part of the retired masses in America and there's no turning back! Ha. I still forget to ask for Senior discounts and such. I did join AMAC (in lieu of AARP), however. How did this happen to me? I don't feel that old?
At the first of the year, Ellen and I got away for about nine days to an east Texas lake house (thanks to some very good friends' wonderful generosity!). Ellen ended up dubbing it the "retirement summit" as unbeknownst to her, I had prepared about eight or nine "topics" for us to discuss while we were there (of course!). We also read several books, went for long walks, slept in late a few times, and just thoroughly enjoyed exploring, dreaming and eating at various restaurants in that lovely lake community (and loved every minute of it!). One of the topics we discussed at the summit was friendships/relationships. Who did we want to make sure we invested in and made time for in our retirement years. Rather than just "friendships of convenience" (people from work, church, in our life group, neighborhood, etc.), who do we want to pursue intentionally, hopefully fostering greater and even deeper relationships going forward? In this day and age of pseudo-connections and oftentimes very shallow friendships (thanks to our strange, non-committal American culture and social media, etc.), how can we make sure to have true friends and healthy relationships for the long haul? Do people even call each other on the phone anymore? Do people even write letters to each other anymore? Do people just sit and talk at length with each other about what's on their hearts and what's important to them anymore? What could we do to foster this idea and develop richer, more fruitful friendships/relationships in retirement? (And, let's make sure our immediate family is not excluded from this pursuit.) I am still working on this; still having to get over lame ideas like "Well, I don't want to bother them; they are probably busy with work or their family and all." I really need to step out and swim against the stream of our culture on this one to make good things happen. But, I am totally committed to eventually succeeding in this pursuit. Having solid and beneficial friendships/relationships in retirement (and for the rest of my life) will be very, very important to me and to my family.
So, that's a little bit about the first 100 days. What about the next hundred? Well, I still have some time left in my six months of complete irresponsibility. Thank goodness! But, for now, a few things seem to be prominent on the horizon for my future:
OUR CHURCH - I have begun to do more and more tasks and activities with our church and it's wonderful leadership; I am writing more for our church's daily devotional and allowing myself to be much more available for other initiatives/activities that need energy and assistance there. I hope this will continue for a long time to come.
EXERCISE AND HEALTHY LIVING - I am starting to be concerned with getting more exercise and living a more healthy lifestyle. Still need to work on this (a lot!). I am discovering how easy it would be to just get really lazy and very sloppy with all of this in my retirement years. As a matter of fact, I have talked myself out of a good three-mile walk and talked myself into having another cookie way too many times already! I will need a lot more discipline and greater perseverance to exercise and eat right in order to make healthy living happen! Pray for me...
HEALTH INSURANCE AND MEDICARE - I still need to wrestle health insurance and Medicare (upcoming) to the ground. Ugh! Nobody is going to do it for us (unless any of you are volunteering to help?). And, the sooner we get it done, the sooner the constant junk mail and random, unsolicited phone calls preying on us "soon-to-be-65ers" will stop. Man! How did we get here?
JOY - I really want to have joy every day. I want to always have a willingness to give and share and make myself available to the needs and other urgency's around me, all without feeling a personal responsibility for all of it, and without making it a have-to for me. A want-to is so much better. I really need to thank God every day for His abundant provisions for us, and to inquire of Him every day as to how to use what He has so generously given me/us best for His kingdom and His glory. And then take joy in all of that. So far to go on this one, too.
I am loving retirement more than I thought I actually would. I was not the sort of person who couldn't wait for retirement years before it happened. I really loved my work at HDR and tried to give it my all and my very best efforts. But, for now at least, this is so much better. I am blessed beyond imagination and grateful for all of it!
To God be the Glory!
Showing posts with label Observation/Challenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Observation/Challenge. Show all posts
Monday, March 18, 2019
Sunday, January 13, 2019
Crumbling Pots
It was probably about 36 years ago. I was a young and very inexperienced design professional (landscape architect-in-training), working a job I really loved (and thought I was pretty good at, too).
That was when I had to learn some valuable lessons on life from crumbling pots.
I had designed what I thought was a really cool project - a "roof garden" at a hospital's expansion in Decatur, Illinois. It was definitely unique, innovative, and not a standard approach. Essentially, my design was the placement of various-sized geometric wooden pallets in decorative patterns all over an otherwise normal (and ugly) conventional roof, primarily to be viewed from the hospital expansion's new patient rooms. The pallets would be where hundreds of various-sized clay pots would be placed. They would then be filled with potting soil and planted with shrubs/flowers to provide the "garden" part of the design.
Conventional thinking at the time for roof garden design required placement of considerable depths of soil over roof areas, then installing landscape plant materials in same (like a typical garden). That was not possible for this project due to restricted structural loading (weight concerns) for the building's roof, as well as for a lot of other relatively complex and difficult construction/maintenance and drainage realities. As a wide-eyed, novice designer, I wasn't going to let restrictions keep me from coming up with some way to make that roof a garden. There just had to be a way, and I was convinced that I could avoid that restriction.
As the design was being finalized, I was receiving all sorts of accolades from my peers for creating such a unique and unusual design. However, some of my co-workers were skeptical. They were surprised that I had been able to convince the hospital's administration to spend a significant amount of money on such a folly. But, in my headlong pursuit of "greatness," I was confident that it would all work in the end somehow. I pressed on with completion of documents for construction, at times ignoring concerns brought to my attention by other more experienced design professionals. I wasn't interested in hearing what these "naysayer" colleagues had to say. Rather, I was preoccupied with dreams about how it would all turn out. How great it would be to photograph the results when complete. How proud I would be of my accomplishment.
About two years or so later when construction and installation for the roof garden was finished, Voila! My design was in fact cool! Everyone seemed to love how it all looked. I received numerous congratulatory comments on the design and adulation for coming up with the idea and seemingly progressive uses of common materials, in ways that were unique for roof gardens at that time. All was good.
Fast forward another two years. I received an unsolicited and rather excited phone call from my client. "Hey, Mr. Architect. What are YOU going to do about all these crumbling pots on our roof?"
Over the course of two winters, the realities of the elements (freezing and thawing) had ravaged my design. Almost all of the clay pots had crumbled in place. What was once considered a great triumph for me became a huge embarrassment and costly mistake. I had not done my homework. I had not researched the givens and realities of my design. Something that I thought would be a path to greatness (and cool) was now putting me (and my company) in a terrible position. We had a very unhappy client. I was ultimately responsible for creating something that didn't work. I was to blame and I had to own it.
So, what are some of the lessons I learned from this story of crumbling pots? Here's a few:
1. If young and inexperienced, use caution before proceeding with unique, innovative ideas. The "standard approach" may be there for a reason. Perhaps it has been tried/tested and proven it works. That's why it's now the standard approach.
2. It's great to have a desire for doing something really cool. Steps away from conventional thinking are appropriate on occasion. However, some realities and truths are just unchangeable and not to be trifled with. They need to be acknowledged and studied before proceeding.
3. If you are confronted with restrictions that seem to limit you, don't dismiss them outright. Ask questions about why they are there. Find out why they were created. Ask if the restriction applies to your situation before proceeding. Think more long-term.
4. If you are receiving accolades from your peers, be careful. Sometimes they can cause you to ignore advice from the more experienced/wiser people around you. Listen to concerns of others and criticisms of your work. They might be much more helpful to you than all the accolades in the long run.
5. Dreams are great. They really are. But, the realities of life must be evaluated along with your dreams. Dreams can oftentimes turn into nightmares if you don't consider realities.
The good news is that I did not lose my job and our company was not sued. However, I never forgot the lessons I learned about life from these crumbling pots.
That was when I had to learn some valuable lessons on life from crumbling pots.
I had designed what I thought was a really cool project - a "roof garden" at a hospital's expansion in Decatur, Illinois. It was definitely unique, innovative, and not a standard approach. Essentially, my design was the placement of various-sized geometric wooden pallets in decorative patterns all over an otherwise normal (and ugly) conventional roof, primarily to be viewed from the hospital expansion's new patient rooms. The pallets would be where hundreds of various-sized clay pots would be placed. They would then be filled with potting soil and planted with shrubs/flowers to provide the "garden" part of the design.
Conventional thinking at the time for roof garden design required placement of considerable depths of soil over roof areas, then installing landscape plant materials in same (like a typical garden). That was not possible for this project due to restricted structural loading (weight concerns) for the building's roof, as well as for a lot of other relatively complex and difficult construction/maintenance and drainage realities. As a wide-eyed, novice designer, I wasn't going to let restrictions keep me from coming up with some way to make that roof a garden. There just had to be a way, and I was convinced that I could avoid that restriction.
As the design was being finalized, I was receiving all sorts of accolades from my peers for creating such a unique and unusual design. However, some of my co-workers were skeptical. They were surprised that I had been able to convince the hospital's administration to spend a significant amount of money on such a folly. But, in my headlong pursuit of "greatness," I was confident that it would all work in the end somehow. I pressed on with completion of documents for construction, at times ignoring concerns brought to my attention by other more experienced design professionals. I wasn't interested in hearing what these "naysayer" colleagues had to say. Rather, I was preoccupied with dreams about how it would all turn out. How great it would be to photograph the results when complete. How proud I would be of my accomplishment.
About two years or so later when construction and installation for the roof garden was finished, Voila! My design was in fact cool! Everyone seemed to love how it all looked. I received numerous congratulatory comments on the design and adulation for coming up with the idea and seemingly progressive uses of common materials, in ways that were unique for roof gardens at that time. All was good.
Fast forward another two years. I received an unsolicited and rather excited phone call from my client. "Hey, Mr. Architect. What are YOU going to do about all these crumbling pots on our roof?"
Over the course of two winters, the realities of the elements (freezing and thawing) had ravaged my design. Almost all of the clay pots had crumbled in place. What was once considered a great triumph for me became a huge embarrassment and costly mistake. I had not done my homework. I had not researched the givens and realities of my design. Something that I thought would be a path to greatness (and cool) was now putting me (and my company) in a terrible position. We had a very unhappy client. I was ultimately responsible for creating something that didn't work. I was to blame and I had to own it.
So, what are some of the lessons I learned from this story of crumbling pots? Here's a few:
1. If young and inexperienced, use caution before proceeding with unique, innovative ideas. The "standard approach" may be there for a reason. Perhaps it has been tried/tested and proven it works. That's why it's now the standard approach.
2. It's great to have a desire for doing something really cool. Steps away from conventional thinking are appropriate on occasion. However, some realities and truths are just unchangeable and not to be trifled with. They need to be acknowledged and studied before proceeding.
3. If you are confronted with restrictions that seem to limit you, don't dismiss them outright. Ask questions about why they are there. Find out why they were created. Ask if the restriction applies to your situation before proceeding. Think more long-term.
4. If you are receiving accolades from your peers, be careful. Sometimes they can cause you to ignore advice from the more experienced/wiser people around you. Listen to concerns of others and criticisms of your work. They might be much more helpful to you than all the accolades in the long run.
5. Dreams are great. They really are. But, the realities of life must be evaluated along with your dreams. Dreams can oftentimes turn into nightmares if you don't consider realities.
The good news is that I did not lose my job and our company was not sued. However, I never forgot the lessons I learned about life from these crumbling pots.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Now what?
I should have known that this would be an emotional day. It's my Dad's 87th birthday. It is soon the three-year anniversary of my Mom's passing. Two people I knew died this past week. And, our youngest child, Nathan, left home. He's moving to Austin, Texas, to start his first job out of college.
Both Ellen and I were doing pretty good with him leaving until as we were saying our "good-byes" to Nathan out on the street, he looked up at the house and said, "Huh, I guess I won't ever live here again?"
Now what?
We have been at this parenting thing now for many, many years. It's kind of what we do. It's not all we've done, but it certainly was our primary focus for over 33+ years. We have literally built our whole life around the wonderful children God gave us. And now, our youngest one is gone. Oh, he'll be back for a few weekends between now and when he marries Arlene MacArthur in August, but essentially he's gone.
Now what?
I left the house to run an errand after Nathan drove away. On the radio they were playing the song, "Day One of the Rest of My Life." The lyrics speak of this day being the start of your future (no matter what happened before). Couldn't help but think of Nathan as I listened to it, but then I also began to think about Ellen and me. In a lot of ways this marks the first day of the rest of our lives, as well.
Now what?
Well, first things first. I want to publicly thank God for giving us these four children, and for the wonderful human beings they've all become. We could not be more blessed by Andy, Katie, Peter and Nathan. Our cup overflows with absolute joy when we consider all that God has done for us personally and for our children specifically over the past 33+ years. It is simply amazing! We wouldn't trade any of it for anything else in the whole world. So worth it! SO WORTH IT!
Second, there's always doubt that creeps in regarding "Did we do enough as their parents?" "Did we do too much as their parents?" And, sometimes as parents you can get bogged down by the "what ifs" and lost in the "if onlys" that come to mind. I just have to publicly declare at this juncture that we did what we thought was best for our children, we tried to live life with them having few regrets, and we now plan on trusting God for what's next for all of them. They belong to Him anyway - our job as parents was to love and protect them, provide for their needs until they could do so themselves, teach them the really important stuff in life (and hope they never forget it), and then trust that our heavenly Father will help them understand and navigate everything else they'll need for life. That He'll fill in all the gaps we missed and/or help them forget the mistakes we made.
Now what?
Well, Ellen and I are re-committing our lives to each other. We are really excited about the prospect of being able to primarily focus on our relationship now and for the rest of our lives. We are grateful to God that even after almost 35 years of marriage (plus four children, homeschooling for 19 years, paying for four college educations, and lots of other really challenging/rewarding stuff) we still love (and like!) each other. Praise God for that!
Now what?
Time will tell. But, here's a few broad ideas for how we want to live life going forward:
We want to pray more. We want to love more. We want to be engaged in the lives of others around us more. We want to do all we can to make a difference in other people's lives. We want to continually share the GRACE we've been given. We want to be joyful at all times. We want to give others hope. And finally, we want to be all that God has called us to be for the rest of our lives.
Now what? Stay tuned...
Both Ellen and I were doing pretty good with him leaving until as we were saying our "good-byes" to Nathan out on the street, he looked up at the house and said, "Huh, I guess I won't ever live here again?"
Now what?
We have been at this parenting thing now for many, many years. It's kind of what we do. It's not all we've done, but it certainly was our primary focus for over 33+ years. We have literally built our whole life around the wonderful children God gave us. And now, our youngest one is gone. Oh, he'll be back for a few weekends between now and when he marries Arlene MacArthur in August, but essentially he's gone.
Now what?
I left the house to run an errand after Nathan drove away. On the radio they were playing the song, "Day One of the Rest of My Life." The lyrics speak of this day being the start of your future (no matter what happened before). Couldn't help but think of Nathan as I listened to it, but then I also began to think about Ellen and me. In a lot of ways this marks the first day of the rest of our lives, as well.
Now what?
Well, first things first. I want to publicly thank God for giving us these four children, and for the wonderful human beings they've all become. We could not be more blessed by Andy, Katie, Peter and Nathan. Our cup overflows with absolute joy when we consider all that God has done for us personally and for our children specifically over the past 33+ years. It is simply amazing! We wouldn't trade any of it for anything else in the whole world. So worth it! SO WORTH IT!
Second, there's always doubt that creeps in regarding "Did we do enough as their parents?" "Did we do too much as their parents?" And, sometimes as parents you can get bogged down by the "what ifs" and lost in the "if onlys" that come to mind. I just have to publicly declare at this juncture that we did what we thought was best for our children, we tried to live life with them having few regrets, and we now plan on trusting God for what's next for all of them. They belong to Him anyway - our job as parents was to love and protect them, provide for their needs until they could do so themselves, teach them the really important stuff in life (and hope they never forget it), and then trust that our heavenly Father will help them understand and navigate everything else they'll need for life. That He'll fill in all the gaps we missed and/or help them forget the mistakes we made.
Now what?
Well, Ellen and I are re-committing our lives to each other. We are really excited about the prospect of being able to primarily focus on our relationship now and for the rest of our lives. We are grateful to God that even after almost 35 years of marriage (plus four children, homeschooling for 19 years, paying for four college educations, and lots of other really challenging/rewarding stuff) we still love (and like!) each other. Praise God for that!
Now what?
Time will tell. But, here's a few broad ideas for how we want to live life going forward:
We want to pray more. We want to love more. We want to be engaged in the lives of others around us more. We want to do all we can to make a difference in other people's lives. We want to continually share the GRACE we've been given. We want to be joyful at all times. We want to give others hope. And finally, we want to be all that God has called us to be for the rest of our lives.
Now what? Stay tuned...
Sunday, March 27, 2011
How the body works
This past Friday, my wife, Ellen, and I were planning to meet some good friends for dinner at 5:30 p.m., and then see a movie together after that. We were really looking forward to it! However, our plans changed in a moment when we received an urgent phone call from a friend before we left our house, a little after 5 p.m.
Our friend was very distraught because her fiance had stopped breathing. She had already called 911 for help. She was reaching out to us for additional support and prayer. Her fiance wasn't responding to the treatment he was receiving. She was scared, really scared! We headed out the door immediately, calling our other friends to tell them we needed to make a change in our plans for the evening.
Sadly, our friend's fiance did not survive a massive heart attack he experienced. His life ended suddenly, and very unexpectedly. A tragic death. We are finding it very hard to comprehend.
Ever since that night, I have been very contemplative about this whole episode, earnestly praying for our friend (and her son) who have now lost someone very dear to them. As I have been reflecting on the events we experienced Friday night, I couldn't help but think about how the body works. When disease or pain strikes, our human body responds quickly.
I'm not a doctor or an immunologist, but here's my limited understanding of how the body works.
For our immune system to work, two things must happen. First, our body must recognize that it has been invaded, either by pathogens or toxins, or by some other outside threat. Second, the immune response must be activated quickly, before the invaders destroy many body tissue cells. There's also a lot of other reactions our human bodies generate, including the proper interaction of non-specific and specific defenses. The nonspecific defenses, like on our skin, do not identify the antigen (a substance capable of stimulating an immune response or reaction) that is attacking or potentially attacking the body; instead, these defenses simply react to the presence of what it identifies as something foreign. Often, the nonspecific defenses effectively destroy microorganisms. But, if these defenses prove ineffective, then the microorganisms manage to infect our tissues, and the specific defenses go into action. The specific defenses function by detecting the antigen in question and mounting a response that targets it for destruction.
That's a somewhat scientific explanation for how the body works. So, what does that have to do anything previously written?
Well, just as the human body works to protect us from diseases and pain, I believe the body of Christ responds similarly. As a matter of fact, I am a witness to how this transpired with our friend on Friday night. Let me explain.
On our way out of our driveway, we began calling several of our Christian friends who were also friends of our friend who was experiencing the crisis, imploring them to begin praying immediately for the whole situation. The body of Christ was beginning to recognize that something unwanted/unexpected had invaded our friend's life, and that she was in desperate need of prayer. Next, we quickly activated a plan to help navigate the details of the situation. We volunteered to go get our friend's son (who had arrived at his work place a short time ago) and take him to the hospital where our friend's fiance was being transported. Likewise, we asked our good friends (who we were supposed to be having dinner with) to head straight to the hospital, telling them that we would meet them there. Within the hour, twelve other friends assembled at the hospital and were there to comfort our friend and her son when they received the news that her fiance was gone. Before the night was over, more than twenty-five of us gathered at a friend's home to provide comfort and to our friend, praying for her, and asking God to ease her pain and bring her comfort. Several wonderful Christian friends volunteered to spend the night with our friend and her son, helping them cope with the shock and sadness of the situation when disbelief and pain were intense.
While none of us were able to alter the outcome of the sad situation with our presence and/or earnest prayers, I am so grateful to God that He gave us such a vivid picture of how the body works. The body of Christ, that is. It really is a beautiful thing...
We still have questions and don't completely understand why. We probably never will be able to comprehend why God in His infinite wisdom allowed this tragedy to happen, at least not this side of heaven. But, one important lesson I learned in the whole situation is this: Be grateful if you are surrounded by other Christian friends; in your time of need, the body of Christ will be there for you. Praise God for the body of Christ!
That's how the body works.
Our friend was very distraught because her fiance had stopped breathing. She had already called 911 for help. She was reaching out to us for additional support and prayer. Her fiance wasn't responding to the treatment he was receiving. She was scared, really scared! We headed out the door immediately, calling our other friends to tell them we needed to make a change in our plans for the evening.
Sadly, our friend's fiance did not survive a massive heart attack he experienced. His life ended suddenly, and very unexpectedly. A tragic death. We are finding it very hard to comprehend.
Ever since that night, I have been very contemplative about this whole episode, earnestly praying for our friend (and her son) who have now lost someone very dear to them. As I have been reflecting on the events we experienced Friday night, I couldn't help but think about how the body works. When disease or pain strikes, our human body responds quickly.
I'm not a doctor or an immunologist, but here's my limited understanding of how the body works.
For our immune system to work, two things must happen. First, our body must recognize that it has been invaded, either by pathogens or toxins, or by some other outside threat. Second, the immune response must be activated quickly, before the invaders destroy many body tissue cells. There's also a lot of other reactions our human bodies generate, including the proper interaction of non-specific and specific defenses. The nonspecific defenses, like on our skin, do not identify the antigen (a substance capable of stimulating an immune response or reaction) that is attacking or potentially attacking the body; instead, these defenses simply react to the presence of what it identifies as something foreign. Often, the nonspecific defenses effectively destroy microorganisms. But, if these defenses prove ineffective, then the microorganisms manage to infect our tissues, and the specific defenses go into action. The specific defenses function by detecting the antigen in question and mounting a response that targets it for destruction.
That's a somewhat scientific explanation for how the body works. So, what does that have to do anything previously written?
Well, just as the human body works to protect us from diseases and pain, I believe the body of Christ responds similarly. As a matter of fact, I am a witness to how this transpired with our friend on Friday night. Let me explain.
On our way out of our driveway, we began calling several of our Christian friends who were also friends of our friend who was experiencing the crisis, imploring them to begin praying immediately for the whole situation. The body of Christ was beginning to recognize that something unwanted/unexpected had invaded our friend's life, and that she was in desperate need of prayer. Next, we quickly activated a plan to help navigate the details of the situation. We volunteered to go get our friend's son (who had arrived at his work place a short time ago) and take him to the hospital where our friend's fiance was being transported. Likewise, we asked our good friends (who we were supposed to be having dinner with) to head straight to the hospital, telling them that we would meet them there. Within the hour, twelve other friends assembled at the hospital and were there to comfort our friend and her son when they received the news that her fiance was gone. Before the night was over, more than twenty-five of us gathered at a friend's home to provide comfort and to our friend, praying for her, and asking God to ease her pain and bring her comfort. Several wonderful Christian friends volunteered to spend the night with our friend and her son, helping them cope with the shock and sadness of the situation when disbelief and pain were intense.
While none of us were able to alter the outcome of the sad situation with our presence and/or earnest prayers, I am so grateful to God that He gave us such a vivid picture of how the body works. The body of Christ, that is. It really is a beautiful thing...
We still have questions and don't completely understand why. We probably never will be able to comprehend why God in His infinite wisdom allowed this tragedy to happen, at least not this side of heaven. But, one important lesson I learned in the whole situation is this: Be grateful if you are surrounded by other Christian friends; in your time of need, the body of Christ will be there for you. Praise God for the body of Christ!
That's how the body works.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
He still holds her hand...
I just returned from a quick get-away trip with my wife, Ellen, to Sun City, Arizona. We were there visiting my parents for a couple of days. They live at this oasis "in the desert" from November through March to get away from the bitter cold and endless piles of snow in Iowa during these months. My Mom just turned 83 on January 7th (praise the Lord), so we were doing a bit of a belated birthday celebration for her. Plus, selfishly for Ellen and me, it's just a really great place to visit. Mom and Dad's home is right on the Union Hills golf course. Thus, the view out their back door (and from their patio) is beautiful, gazing over lush green grass to a small lake with fountains, with picturesque Arizona mountains off in the distance. We were blessed with some fantastic weather while we were there, too. Loved it!
But, aside from the setting, I just have to brag on my Dad.
Over the three days we were there, we went out for breakfast, lunch and dinner several times. We also did some miscellaneous shopping and ran a few errands. Consequently, there was a lot of getting in and out of their car, and a bunch of walking to and from their car to the restaurants/stores we visited. While we were doing that, I couldn't help but notice over and over again that after 62+ years of marriage, he still holds her hand...
Wow. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful that is to see my Dad holding my Mom's hand. I really want to be like my Dad when I grow up.
He loves my Mom so much! He takes really great care of her, too. Mom has Parkinson's disease and it is begining to slow her down a bit more and more every year. She's not as steady on her feet as she once was. She gets a little bit flustered/confused at times because she is not as smooth in doing the things she used to do so effortlessly. But, there's my Dad, giving her a steady hand, and telling her by his actions and loving touch that he'll take good care of her. That she doesn't need to worry about a thing. That he's going to take care of her and protect her no matter what.
What's really cool is that Dad would be doing this even if she didn't have Parkinson's. She's his wife, and that's what a loving husband does for his wife. He gives her a hand. He tells her with his actions and loving touches that he'll take good care of her. A husband's desire is to convince his wife that she doesn't need to worry about a thing. He will take care of her no matter what.
Lately, Ellen and I have been caught "holding hands" on our way in to church, or in a few other relatively public situations/events. People have remarked that we are "cute" to do that and that it seems like we are really in love with each other.
I love holding my wife's hand. We are in love with each other. In my way of thinking, that's what married people are supposed to do. Why is it that a husband holding his wife's hand seems so unusual these days? Whatever happened to romance and chivalry?
I want to honor my Dad's love for his wife (my Mom) with this post. I want to declare to everyone reading this (especially family members) that this is what I plan to do. I hope to continue to follow my Dad's example for many, many years to come. Someday, I want my sons (and daughter) to remark when we have been married as long as my parents (hopefully!), he still holds her hand...
Sometimes it is the little things, the simpler things, that are most important in this life.
Thanks for giving me such a great example/model to follow, Dad! I love you.
But, aside from the setting, I just have to brag on my Dad.
Over the three days we were there, we went out for breakfast, lunch and dinner several times. We also did some miscellaneous shopping and ran a few errands. Consequently, there was a lot of getting in and out of their car, and a bunch of walking to and from their car to the restaurants/stores we visited. While we were doing that, I couldn't help but notice over and over again that after 62+ years of marriage, he still holds her hand...
Wow. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful that is to see my Dad holding my Mom's hand. I really want to be like my Dad when I grow up.
He loves my Mom so much! He takes really great care of her, too. Mom has Parkinson's disease and it is begining to slow her down a bit more and more every year. She's not as steady on her feet as she once was. She gets a little bit flustered/confused at times because she is not as smooth in doing the things she used to do so effortlessly. But, there's my Dad, giving her a steady hand, and telling her by his actions and loving touch that he'll take good care of her. That she doesn't need to worry about a thing. That he's going to take care of her and protect her no matter what.
What's really cool is that Dad would be doing this even if she didn't have Parkinson's. She's his wife, and that's what a loving husband does for his wife. He gives her a hand. He tells her with his actions and loving touches that he'll take good care of her. A husband's desire is to convince his wife that she doesn't need to worry about a thing. He will take care of her no matter what.
Lately, Ellen and I have been caught "holding hands" on our way in to church, or in a few other relatively public situations/events. People have remarked that we are "cute" to do that and that it seems like we are really in love with each other.
I love holding my wife's hand. We are in love with each other. In my way of thinking, that's what married people are supposed to do. Why is it that a husband holding his wife's hand seems so unusual these days? Whatever happened to romance and chivalry?
I want to honor my Dad's love for his wife (my Mom) with this post. I want to declare to everyone reading this (especially family members) that this is what I plan to do. I hope to continue to follow my Dad's example for many, many years to come. Someday, I want my sons (and daughter) to remark when we have been married as long as my parents (hopefully!), he still holds her hand...
Sometimes it is the little things, the simpler things, that are most important in this life.
Thanks for giving me such a great example/model to follow, Dad! I love you.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Dragged, kicking and screaming...
I've heard it said that a child's personality (and a lot about how that child will respond to certain situations as an adult) is already evident at age 5 or 6. Kind of makes you realize how critically important those first few years of a child's life are, doesn't it?
I am so grateful to God for my Mom being there to shape my personality and guide my development at an early age. Likewise, I am so glad that my wife, Ellen, was there to actively influence the personalities of our four children in their early years.
(In my humble opinion, the ideal situation for a child is for their mother and father to be the ones to perform this all-important task. It is that critical to their adult life!)
Just the other day, a vivid childhood memory popped into my consciousness. It made me realize that a dominant part of my personality, as well as how I frequently respond to certain life situations as an adult, is probably wrapped up in this early childhood experience.
It was the first day of kindergarten in Ellsworth, Iowa, probably the fall of 1959. My family lived on a farm about three miles outside of this small town of 400+ people. To attend school, I would need to take the bus into town. It must have been a late-morning session of kindergarten as I don't remember my two older sisters being a part of this story. They were probably already at school when this took place.
I have this mental picture in my head of my Mom "escorting" me down the end of our long lane to catch the bus. Actually, I was being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way! It must have been terribly embarrassing and upsetting for my Mom. You see, at four years old (I wouldn't turn 5 for another month) I just wasn't too sure about this whole going to school thing. I wasn't excited about it at all! I kind of liked being safely at home during the day with my Mom. What was she doing, making me go to school, for goodness sake? So, I decided to fight the inevitable.
In spite of being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way down the lane, Mom won the battle. She placed me on that bus, let the bus driver close the door, and off to kindergarten I went. I must have liked it, too, as I don't remember her having to force me to go to kindergarten ever again. Apparently, once I got on that bus, I was O.K. Whatever I had feared so much before hand, didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought after all.
But, I couldn't have been convinced of that when I was being dragged, kicking and screaming down our lane. I was genuinely freaked out!
Fast forward to today.
I still get a little freaked out by new things. I will frequently dread a new adventure and/or resist a change in venue/responsibilities. It's as though I'm reverting back to being dragged, kicking and screaming down that lane outside of Ellsworth, Iowa.
Even 50+ years later, there are remnants of that part of my personality showing up. Fascinating!
Likewise, once I "get on the bus" so to speak, I usually do O.K. with the new adventures or change in venue/responsibilities. I am reflecting back now on a whole lifetime of initial reluctance to lead, of timidness when it comes to participating in big events, and of massive squirming when asked to take on new tasks/responsibilities, etc.
So what? Why is this even worth writing down (or being read?)? I guess here's what I'm learning about myself through this experience:
- My personality was somewhat settled at an early age in life. That's not an excuse; it's just fact.
- I am who I am based on some of the experiences I had early in life. That's really O.K.
- I should not try to be someone I'm not. Others can seeminly tackle the big stuff and keep begging for more. Others can get frustrated when new adventures and added responsibilities don't come fast enough. Not me. That's just not who I am.
- Sometimes I am required to press on past my fears and hang-ups. Sometimes I just need to take on those new adventures and challenging responsibilities. I must get over my initial reluctance. I just need to buck it up and do it!
- It is always a good idea to ask myself before stepping in to something new, "What's the worst thing that could happen here anyway?"
If you find yourself sometimes being dragged, kicking and screaming into new adventures and/or situations that freak you out, take a hint from me. Just relax. It probably won't be as bad as you think.
I am so grateful to God for my Mom being there to shape my personality and guide my development at an early age. Likewise, I am so glad that my wife, Ellen, was there to actively influence the personalities of our four children in their early years.
(In my humble opinion, the ideal situation for a child is for their mother and father to be the ones to perform this all-important task. It is that critical to their adult life!)
Just the other day, a vivid childhood memory popped into my consciousness. It made me realize that a dominant part of my personality, as well as how I frequently respond to certain life situations as an adult, is probably wrapped up in this early childhood experience.
It was the first day of kindergarten in Ellsworth, Iowa, probably the fall of 1959. My family lived on a farm about three miles outside of this small town of 400+ people. To attend school, I would need to take the bus into town. It must have been a late-morning session of kindergarten as I don't remember my two older sisters being a part of this story. They were probably already at school when this took place.
I have this mental picture in my head of my Mom "escorting" me down the end of our long lane to catch the bus. Actually, I was being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way! It must have been terribly embarrassing and upsetting for my Mom. You see, at four years old (I wouldn't turn 5 for another month) I just wasn't too sure about this whole going to school thing. I wasn't excited about it at all! I kind of liked being safely at home during the day with my Mom. What was she doing, making me go to school, for goodness sake? So, I decided to fight the inevitable.
In spite of being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way down the lane, Mom won the battle. She placed me on that bus, let the bus driver close the door, and off to kindergarten I went. I must have liked it, too, as I don't remember her having to force me to go to kindergarten ever again. Apparently, once I got on that bus, I was O.K. Whatever I had feared so much before hand, didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought after all.
But, I couldn't have been convinced of that when I was being dragged, kicking and screaming down our lane. I was genuinely freaked out!
Fast forward to today.
I still get a little freaked out by new things. I will frequently dread a new adventure and/or resist a change in venue/responsibilities. It's as though I'm reverting back to being dragged, kicking and screaming down that lane outside of Ellsworth, Iowa.
Even 50+ years later, there are remnants of that part of my personality showing up. Fascinating!
Likewise, once I "get on the bus" so to speak, I usually do O.K. with the new adventures or change in venue/responsibilities. I am reflecting back now on a whole lifetime of initial reluctance to lead, of timidness when it comes to participating in big events, and of massive squirming when asked to take on new tasks/responsibilities, etc.
So what? Why is this even worth writing down (or being read?)? I guess here's what I'm learning about myself through this experience:
- My personality was somewhat settled at an early age in life. That's not an excuse; it's just fact.
- I am who I am based on some of the experiences I had early in life. That's really O.K.
- I should not try to be someone I'm not. Others can seeminly tackle the big stuff and keep begging for more. Others can get frustrated when new adventures and added responsibilities don't come fast enough. Not me. That's just not who I am.
- Sometimes I am required to press on past my fears and hang-ups. Sometimes I just need to take on those new adventures and challenging responsibilities. I must get over my initial reluctance. I just need to buck it up and do it!
- It is always a good idea to ask myself before stepping in to something new, "What's the worst thing that could happen here anyway?"
If you find yourself sometimes being dragged, kicking and screaming into new adventures and/or situations that freak you out, take a hint from me. Just relax. It probably won't be as bad as you think.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Resolutions
I'm normally not one for making New Year's resolutions...
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for setting achievable goals and striving for improvement in my life.
As a matter of fact, I've already tried to eat better/more healthy since the first of the year. I've already tried to do more reading and reflection to begin and end my days. And, I've already been to the local recreation center to work out/exercise three times in 2011 (which is probably two more times than I did all of last year!). Ugh!
But, really? Do resolutions work?
During a time of reading and reflection one morning this week, I rediscovered a terrific example of some resolutions, and decided to make them mine for 2011. Here they are:
One - Remember every day of 2011 that there is only one God. As a follower of Christ, there just aren't any others. Only one.
Two - Avoid making anything else (man-made or natural) competition for God in my life. Remember every day of 2011 that God wants/deserves my devotion and worship. Don't give what belongs to Him to anything/anyone else.
Three - Resist using God's name in an inappropriate way. Remember throughout 2011 that God's name is holy. That speaking curses (and/or coarse words) is just plain wrong for a follower of Christ.
Four - Dedicate at least one day every week completely to God. Keep that day really special, just for Him! Remember throughout all of 2011 that there will always be more work, important errands and an endless list of tasks to do. As a Christ follower, I need to give one day a week over to God and rest.
Five - Look for ways to respect/love my parents more in 2011. They are not to be more highly regarded than God; no family member deserves more respect/love than God. But, God is pleased when I honor my father and my mother with simple acts of kindness and special favor.
Six - Refrain from killing in 2011. That includes killing with words, killing with looks/glances, and killing with hands, etc. Love other people and speak well of them. Denegrading or bad-mouthing or hurting others is just plain wrong for followers of Christ.
Seven - Go overboard in love for my spouse so that I won't even be tempted to cheat with anyone else. Remember throughout 2011 that God is the one who created marriage, that wonderful relationship between one man and one woman. He expects me to be faithful to the incredible gift of "oneness" He's given to me.
Eight - Resist all temptations to take from others. This includes big and small things. As a follower of Christ, there should not even be a hint or a suggestion of dishonesty when it comes to other people's money or possessions.
Nine - At all times, speak truth about my family, friends and everyone else. If you really don't know all the facts about a situation (and you never will), keep your mouth shut. Don't say unkind things about others. Ever. Words hurt and careless, not well thought out phrases are deadly. All truth in 2011!
Ten - Be content with what I have and refrain from desiring more and more of what someone else has. As a Christ follower, thank God everyday in 2011 for how He's abundantly blessed me and marvel at His goodness in all the things He's allowed me to possess.
Well, those are my resolutions for 2011.
By now, some of you are probably saying, "Wait a minute! Haven't I heard those ten somewhere before?" Yup. You have.
See Exodus 20:2-17 for the original version.
Even though I know I'm not going to be able to keep all of these resolutions in 2011 (because by myself, I just can't), I am asking God to work in me and allow me to make some headway towards these lofty goals and needed improvements in my life.
How about you? What are your resolutions for 2011?
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for setting achievable goals and striving for improvement in my life.
As a matter of fact, I've already tried to eat better/more healthy since the first of the year. I've already tried to do more reading and reflection to begin and end my days. And, I've already been to the local recreation center to work out/exercise three times in 2011 (which is probably two more times than I did all of last year!). Ugh!
But, really? Do resolutions work?
During a time of reading and reflection one morning this week, I rediscovered a terrific example of some resolutions, and decided to make them mine for 2011. Here they are:
One - Remember every day of 2011 that there is only one God. As a follower of Christ, there just aren't any others. Only one.
Two - Avoid making anything else (man-made or natural) competition for God in my life. Remember every day of 2011 that God wants/deserves my devotion and worship. Don't give what belongs to Him to anything/anyone else.
Three - Resist using God's name in an inappropriate way. Remember throughout 2011 that God's name is holy. That speaking curses (and/or coarse words) is just plain wrong for a follower of Christ.
Four - Dedicate at least one day every week completely to God. Keep that day really special, just for Him! Remember throughout all of 2011 that there will always be more work, important errands and an endless list of tasks to do. As a Christ follower, I need to give one day a week over to God and rest.
Five - Look for ways to respect/love my parents more in 2011. They are not to be more highly regarded than God; no family member deserves more respect/love than God. But, God is pleased when I honor my father and my mother with simple acts of kindness and special favor.
Six - Refrain from killing in 2011. That includes killing with words, killing with looks/glances, and killing with hands, etc. Love other people and speak well of them. Denegrading or bad-mouthing or hurting others is just plain wrong for followers of Christ.
Seven - Go overboard in love for my spouse so that I won't even be tempted to cheat with anyone else. Remember throughout 2011 that God is the one who created marriage, that wonderful relationship between one man and one woman. He expects me to be faithful to the incredible gift of "oneness" He's given to me.
Eight - Resist all temptations to take from others. This includes big and small things. As a follower of Christ, there should not even be a hint or a suggestion of dishonesty when it comes to other people's money or possessions.
Nine - At all times, speak truth about my family, friends and everyone else. If you really don't know all the facts about a situation (and you never will), keep your mouth shut. Don't say unkind things about others. Ever. Words hurt and careless, not well thought out phrases are deadly. All truth in 2011!
Ten - Be content with what I have and refrain from desiring more and more of what someone else has. As a Christ follower, thank God everyday in 2011 for how He's abundantly blessed me and marvel at His goodness in all the things He's allowed me to possess.
Well, those are my resolutions for 2011.
By now, some of you are probably saying, "Wait a minute! Haven't I heard those ten somewhere before?" Yup. You have.
See Exodus 20:2-17 for the original version.
Even though I know I'm not going to be able to keep all of these resolutions in 2011 (because by myself, I just can't), I am asking God to work in me and allow me to make some headway towards these lofty goals and needed improvements in my life.
How about you? What are your resolutions for 2011?
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thanksgiving All Year Long!
Thanksgiving is one of my all-time favorite holidays! I absolutely love spending extra time away from work with my family and friends, as well as enjoying all the delicious foods of this magnificent time of the year! Yum-yum!
But, why do we sometimes relegate thanksgiving to just one day a year? I know that the American version of Thanksgiving originates from the feasts enjoyed by the Pilgrims in Plymouth, Massachusetts, around 1621 or so. They had a bountiful harvest and wanted to celebrate God's goodness to them for it. But, they were simply expressing their gratitude spontaneously and following a pattern of thanksgiving demonstrated by our ancestors down through the ages. There have probably been large thanksgiving feasts around since the beginning of time.
After having such a rich and meaningful Thanksgiving Day yesterday, I believe that we should celebrate thanksgiving all year long! So, in the interest of trying to help all of us do this, I've chosen a "who, what, where, when, why and how" format for your consideration.
Who
First and foremost, God is the One who should be thanked. He is the One who is to be praised, not only for who He is, but also for all He's done (Psalm 100:4). Let your thanksgiving be an intentional act of worship to God all year long!
What
Our thanksgiving should be a constant celebration. It should be an all-out dedication on our part to continual gratefulness. We can express our thanksgiving to God with words (prayers), with songs/singing (praise and worship tunes or hymns), and with a truly authentic gladness of heart for all that God has done all year long!
Where
The great thing about thanksgiving is that you can be grateful to God anywhere and everywhere! You can express your gratitude by yourself, or in a group, or in your church, or in your office, in your car, inside your home or outside your home, too. There are no limitations to where you have to be in order to give thanks to God. All year long you can tell Him how grateful you are no matter where you are at the time.
When
We can experience thanksgiving all the time. Every day of the year. And when we express our thanksgiving, frequently it will be completely involuntary. We won't even know when it is coming. It will be an immediate response to an event/experience in our life (if we let it). Our thanksgiving can and will be contagious and spontaneous, causing others to also give thanks all year long, too!
Why
Thanksgiving usually brings an abundance of peace to us personally, and furthermore contributes to peace for those around us as well (Jeremiah 30:19, II Corinthians 4:15 & 9:11, Ephesians 5:4). We should not be holding back when we are grateful. We should give it all to God because He is so worthy and deserves all of our praise and thanksgiving all year long!
How
Through prayer (I Timothy 2:1). By voicing our gratefulness to others. Through physical acts and dances for joy. By singing and making joyful noises unto the Lord (Psalm 69:30 & 95:2). Through demonstrating to others ways to be grateful. By involuntary expressions of thanksgiving in all circumstances, no matter what they may be (Philippians 4:6, I Timothy 4:4). And through setting an example of thankfulness in our own lives all year long.
So, while you are still enjoying the afterglow of yesterday's glorious Thanksgiving Day celebration with family/friends and great food, why not make a bold commitment to truly celebrate thanksgiving all year long this upcoming year? Or maybe even for the rest of your life?
But, why do we sometimes relegate thanksgiving to just one day a year? I know that the American version of Thanksgiving originates from the feasts enjoyed by the Pilgrims in Plymouth, Massachusetts, around 1621 or so. They had a bountiful harvest and wanted to celebrate God's goodness to them for it. But, they were simply expressing their gratitude spontaneously and following a pattern of thanksgiving demonstrated by our ancestors down through the ages. There have probably been large thanksgiving feasts around since the beginning of time.
After having such a rich and meaningful Thanksgiving Day yesterday, I believe that we should celebrate thanksgiving all year long! So, in the interest of trying to help all of us do this, I've chosen a "who, what, where, when, why and how" format for your consideration.
Who
First and foremost, God is the One who should be thanked. He is the One who is to be praised, not only for who He is, but also for all He's done (Psalm 100:4). Let your thanksgiving be an intentional act of worship to God all year long!
What
Our thanksgiving should be a constant celebration. It should be an all-out dedication on our part to continual gratefulness. We can express our thanksgiving to God with words (prayers), with songs/singing (praise and worship tunes or hymns), and with a truly authentic gladness of heart for all that God has done all year long!
Where
The great thing about thanksgiving is that you can be grateful to God anywhere and everywhere! You can express your gratitude by yourself, or in a group, or in your church, or in your office, in your car, inside your home or outside your home, too. There are no limitations to where you have to be in order to give thanks to God. All year long you can tell Him how grateful you are no matter where you are at the time.
When
We can experience thanksgiving all the time. Every day of the year. And when we express our thanksgiving, frequently it will be completely involuntary. We won't even know when it is coming. It will be an immediate response to an event/experience in our life (if we let it). Our thanksgiving can and will be contagious and spontaneous, causing others to also give thanks all year long, too!
Why
Thanksgiving usually brings an abundance of peace to us personally, and furthermore contributes to peace for those around us as well (Jeremiah 30:19, II Corinthians 4:15 & 9:11, Ephesians 5:4). We should not be holding back when we are grateful. We should give it all to God because He is so worthy and deserves all of our praise and thanksgiving all year long!
How
Through prayer (I Timothy 2:1). By voicing our gratefulness to others. Through physical acts and dances for joy. By singing and making joyful noises unto the Lord (Psalm 69:30 & 95:2). Through demonstrating to others ways to be grateful. By involuntary expressions of thanksgiving in all circumstances, no matter what they may be (Philippians 4:6, I Timothy 4:4). And through setting an example of thankfulness in our own lives all year long.
So, while you are still enjoying the afterglow of yesterday's glorious Thanksgiving Day celebration with family/friends and great food, why not make a bold commitment to truly celebrate thanksgiving all year long this upcoming year? Or maybe even for the rest of your life?
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Every Man is an Island
You've probably heard the expression "no man is an island." Frankly, I wonder if that's all wrong? I wonder if every man is an island is more like it. Let me explain...
I believe that you and I were created for relationship. I believe that you and I need relationship more than anything else in all the world. I believe that without truly relating to other people in our lives, we become "islands," completely separated from each other, which is not very healthy.
Why then are you and I so prone to times of isolation and broken relationships? Why do we unwittingly create barriers between us or establish "deep waters" that separate ourselves from the very people we should/could be relating to?
Has this been anyone else's experience or is it just me?
Take my important relationship with my wonderful wife, Ellen. She is absolutely one of the most highly relational people I have ever known. Thank God for that! She just thrives on relating to other people and sometimes I am just perplexed by how good she is at it. I really wish I was more like her some days. I really, really do! But instead, there are times when I sense that I am totally clamming up, creating an unwanted barrier between us. Usually I can't even figure out exactly why? Here's this highly relational, wonderful person in my life, and yet I am establishing "deep waters" around me to keep her at bay (so to speak). I don't get it?
And then there's my four children, those supremely important and wonderful offspring God blessed me and Ellen with as a family. I love them more than anything else in all the world, and I would do absolutely anything for any of them (I really, really would!). But, too often I sense that I am once again creating barriers between them and me. And I ask myself, "Why in the world am I doing this?" Here are these terrific young people in my life, and I'm establishing "deep waters" around me, keeping them at bay? What's with that?
How about other people in your life that you have opportunity to relate to? Like your parents, or those that you live around, or those you work with every day, or those you see at your church or school? Ever find yourself holding back from really relating to them? You realize of course that they probably are really great folks who also need relationship as much as you do, right? Why are we sometimes so prone to make "islands" out of ourselves when we were created for relationship?
Well, I have a couple of thoughts on this subject.
Relationships are hard. Relationships require a lot of us. Relationships frequently change. Sometimes we are not as willing as we should/could be to change with them. In an ideal sense, relationships are about us being willing to relate to that other person, not about whether that other person is satisfing my needs/wants/desires.
I also believe that you can only maintain a small number of truly deep and fulfilling relationships. We kid ourselves when we try to relate to hundreds or thousands of people. It just doesn't work. Large numbers like that are not true relationships. They are just casual acquaintances. People whose names simply fill up our address books and cell phones. True relationships are more intentional and more methodical and more sacrificial. They are also very rewarding and beneficial.
Yes, relationships are really the most important thing in this life. But, we frequently we mess them up, don't we? To the people we should/could love the most, we often become "islands" because we are afraid they might ask us to do something for them. Frequently we are unwilling to be that unselfish and vulnerable for them. Seems like we are often more willing to relate to someone and get along with someone in relationship as long as they agree with us and/or do what we want them to do. But when they demand something of us or ask us to commit to something that might interrupt our own selfish lives, we quickly become "islands."
So, it seems like every man is an island can be our relational experience. But, does it have to be? I am committing to working real hard from this moment to change that going forward. How about you? Will you join me?
No man is an island? Maybe they did get it right after all?
I believe that you and I were created for relationship. I believe that you and I need relationship more than anything else in all the world. I believe that without truly relating to other people in our lives, we become "islands," completely separated from each other, which is not very healthy.
Why then are you and I so prone to times of isolation and broken relationships? Why do we unwittingly create barriers between us or establish "deep waters" that separate ourselves from the very people we should/could be relating to?
Has this been anyone else's experience or is it just me?
Take my important relationship with my wonderful wife, Ellen. She is absolutely one of the most highly relational people I have ever known. Thank God for that! She just thrives on relating to other people and sometimes I am just perplexed by how good she is at it. I really wish I was more like her some days. I really, really do! But instead, there are times when I sense that I am totally clamming up, creating an unwanted barrier between us. Usually I can't even figure out exactly why? Here's this highly relational, wonderful person in my life, and yet I am establishing "deep waters" around me to keep her at bay (so to speak). I don't get it?
And then there's my four children, those supremely important and wonderful offspring God blessed me and Ellen with as a family. I love them more than anything else in all the world, and I would do absolutely anything for any of them (I really, really would!). But, too often I sense that I am once again creating barriers between them and me. And I ask myself, "Why in the world am I doing this?" Here are these terrific young people in my life, and I'm establishing "deep waters" around me, keeping them at bay? What's with that?
How about other people in your life that you have opportunity to relate to? Like your parents, or those that you live around, or those you work with every day, or those you see at your church or school? Ever find yourself holding back from really relating to them? You realize of course that they probably are really great folks who also need relationship as much as you do, right? Why are we sometimes so prone to make "islands" out of ourselves when we were created for relationship?
Well, I have a couple of thoughts on this subject.
Relationships are hard. Relationships require a lot of us. Relationships frequently change. Sometimes we are not as willing as we should/could be to change with them. In an ideal sense, relationships are about us being willing to relate to that other person, not about whether that other person is satisfing my needs/wants/desires.
I also believe that you can only maintain a small number of truly deep and fulfilling relationships. We kid ourselves when we try to relate to hundreds or thousands of people. It just doesn't work. Large numbers like that are not true relationships. They are just casual acquaintances. People whose names simply fill up our address books and cell phones. True relationships are more intentional and more methodical and more sacrificial. They are also very rewarding and beneficial.
Yes, relationships are really the most important thing in this life. But, we frequently we mess them up, don't we? To the people we should/could love the most, we often become "islands" because we are afraid they might ask us to do something for them. Frequently we are unwilling to be that unselfish and vulnerable for them. Seems like we are often more willing to relate to someone and get along with someone in relationship as long as they agree with us and/or do what we want them to do. But when they demand something of us or ask us to commit to something that might interrupt our own selfish lives, we quickly become "islands."
So, it seems like every man is an island can be our relational experience. But, does it have to be? I am committing to working real hard from this moment to change that going forward. How about you? Will you join me?
No man is an island? Maybe they did get it right after all?
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Lessons Learned from Defeat
First the easy one.
The Texas Rangers were soundly defeated by the San Francisco Giants in only five games in the 2010 World Series. I was bummed out about their defeat for days!
But, there was at least one obvious lesson to be learned from their disappointing defeat on November 1, 2010. That is: Great pitching almost always beats great hitting in baseball. Always has. Probably always will. While the Rangers made significant improvements to their pitching staff in the past several years, it wasn't quite enough to actually win a World Series.
I'm still a big Rangers fan, however! I can only hope that they will take note of this and other lessons learned from defeat.
Now for the more difficult one.
The Democrats were soundly defeated by the Republicans in the 2010 mid-term elections on November 2, 2010. Being a conservative, and generally a fairly routine backer of Republicans in most elections, I was kind of happy about that. As a matter of fact, I still am.
However, I think we all (regardless of our political persuasions) need to take note of some of the lessons learned from defeat while they are still fresh.
Now, I know that I'm kind of stepping out there with this blog and taking a big risk with some of you. These are simply my humble thoughts and are based on my long-held convictions. But, I hope you will understand that these words are not written to alienate any of you or have this become an issue that divides us in the future. I really mean that.
Lesson # 1 - A "big shift" towards a certain political direction (be it left or right) in one election usually shifts back in the next election. It is really, really difficult for one political party to win election after election after election in this country. There will occasionally be big swings in our voting results to the left or the right . But, these have a way of correcting themselves the next time people are given a chance to go to the polls. In other words, winning one election doesn't mean that much. Multiple elections in a row are what is significant.
Lesson # 2 - Politicians who primarily push their political ideologies and ignore the general will of the people do so at their own peril. I'm certain that a lot of Monday-morning quarterbacking must have been going on in several political circles following the 2010 elections. "Maybe we shouldn't have pushed so fast and so hard on certain volatile issues?" "Maybe we should have listened more closely to the overall mood of our country, paying closer attention to what many of the people of this country were trying to tell us?" I think the old adage of live and learn applies here.
Lesson # 3 - Liberty and freedom matters more than "progress" and change in this country. The United States of America was founded on the principles of individual liberties and freedom from any form of governmental tyranny. We as individual citizens still don't like being categorized into various "classes," or being told by the ruling party to pay excessive taxes to support stuff we really don't agree with. Americans didn't like that infringement by the British government on their liberty and freedom 200 years ago, and we still don't like it today. Don't mess with our liberty and freedom if that's what it takes to enact "progress" and change. It won't work.
Lesson # 4 - Strong support for and defense of our Constitution with governing based on same (versus political ideologies) is what works in this country. Going forward as a nation, everything we do in the halls of Congress should be checked against the Constitution first and no laws should even make it out of committee without passing a test of Constitution-compliance first. Adherence to the United States Constitution is what has made this country great, not political ideologies. Deviation from the long-standing principles of our Constitution will be the end of this nation's greatness.
Lesson # 5 - If you don't have the money for something, don't spend what you don't have. No matter how much you might want something to change or something to be a certain way, if you do not have the means by which to pay for it, it's just not the right idea. Period. Borrowing money and going into debt is only a good idea for rare occasions. You should only borrow money if you have a reasonable plan for how you plan to pay off that debt in the future, and that needs to square with all of your other obligations as well. It is foolish to spend borrowed money when you have no credible plan to pay it back in the future.
Well, there you have it. My thoughts on lessons learned from defeat. Not sure if what I've written aligns with your thinking, or if it is completely contrary to same. At a minimum, I hope it will cause you to consider the implications of elections in this country and prepare you to be an even better citizen the next time we go to the polls in 2012.
Go Rangers!
The Texas Rangers were soundly defeated by the San Francisco Giants in only five games in the 2010 World Series. I was bummed out about their defeat for days!
But, there was at least one obvious lesson to be learned from their disappointing defeat on November 1, 2010. That is: Great pitching almost always beats great hitting in baseball. Always has. Probably always will. While the Rangers made significant improvements to their pitching staff in the past several years, it wasn't quite enough to actually win a World Series.
I'm still a big Rangers fan, however! I can only hope that they will take note of this and other lessons learned from defeat.
Now for the more difficult one.
The Democrats were soundly defeated by the Republicans in the 2010 mid-term elections on November 2, 2010. Being a conservative, and generally a fairly routine backer of Republicans in most elections, I was kind of happy about that. As a matter of fact, I still am.
However, I think we all (regardless of our political persuasions) need to take note of some of the lessons learned from defeat while they are still fresh.
Now, I know that I'm kind of stepping out there with this blog and taking a big risk with some of you. These are simply my humble thoughts and are based on my long-held convictions. But, I hope you will understand that these words are not written to alienate any of you or have this become an issue that divides us in the future. I really mean that.
Lesson # 1 - A "big shift" towards a certain political direction (be it left or right) in one election usually shifts back in the next election. It is really, really difficult for one political party to win election after election after election in this country. There will occasionally be big swings in our voting results to the left or the right . But, these have a way of correcting themselves the next time people are given a chance to go to the polls. In other words, winning one election doesn't mean that much. Multiple elections in a row are what is significant.
Lesson # 2 - Politicians who primarily push their political ideologies and ignore the general will of the people do so at their own peril. I'm certain that a lot of Monday-morning quarterbacking must have been going on in several political circles following the 2010 elections. "Maybe we shouldn't have pushed so fast and so hard on certain volatile issues?" "Maybe we should have listened more closely to the overall mood of our country, paying closer attention to what many of the people of this country were trying to tell us?" I think the old adage of live and learn applies here.
Lesson # 3 - Liberty and freedom matters more than "progress" and change in this country. The United States of America was founded on the principles of individual liberties and freedom from any form of governmental tyranny. We as individual citizens still don't like being categorized into various "classes," or being told by the ruling party to pay excessive taxes to support stuff we really don't agree with. Americans didn't like that infringement by the British government on their liberty and freedom 200 years ago, and we still don't like it today. Don't mess with our liberty and freedom if that's what it takes to enact "progress" and change. It won't work.
Lesson # 4 - Strong support for and defense of our Constitution with governing based on same (versus political ideologies) is what works in this country. Going forward as a nation, everything we do in the halls of Congress should be checked against the Constitution first and no laws should even make it out of committee without passing a test of Constitution-compliance first. Adherence to the United States Constitution is what has made this country great, not political ideologies. Deviation from the long-standing principles of our Constitution will be the end of this nation's greatness.
Lesson # 5 - If you don't have the money for something, don't spend what you don't have. No matter how much you might want something to change or something to be a certain way, if you do not have the means by which to pay for it, it's just not the right idea. Period. Borrowing money and going into debt is only a good idea for rare occasions. You should only borrow money if you have a reasonable plan for how you plan to pay off that debt in the future, and that needs to square with all of your other obligations as well. It is foolish to spend borrowed money when you have no credible plan to pay it back in the future.
Well, there you have it. My thoughts on lessons learned from defeat. Not sure if what I've written aligns with your thinking, or if it is completely contrary to same. At a minimum, I hope it will cause you to consider the implications of elections in this country and prepare you to be an even better citizen the next time we go to the polls in 2012.
Go Rangers!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
His was a life well-lived
Vernell G. Kvale - born September 30, 1931; died September 30, 2010. A complete life. His was a life well-lived.
I am thanking God today for the life of one of my favorite uncles. For the love he showed to me throughout his life, and for the inspiration he's been to me ever since his death.
Although it is usually ill-timed, we tend to appreciate someone we have loved and admired even more after they are already gone. I wonder why that is? Why do we tend to get so preoccupied with our own lives and our own affairs so much that we forget to honor those among us who have lived their lives well, and have blessed us (and others) immensely?
I don't have the answer to my own question. But, I can tell you this. Attending my uncle's funeral recently impacted me greatly. His was a life well-lived.
My Uncle Vernell lived most of his life in Lake Mills, Iowa. Except for a couple of years spent farming with my Dad following high school, and two years of active duty service in the United States Army following that, this small town of a few thousand people was his home. I admire the simplicity and wholesomeness that represents. I also admire the fact that he appeared to be perfectly content with living in the same community his entire life.
He married my Aunt Violet in 1956. That means that they were into their 55th year of marriage at his death. I admire the faithfulness and longevity that represents. He loved her greatly and it showed! A testimony to his incredible love for her and his thinking of her needs all the way to the end was this story told to me by his son following the funeral. My aunt's birthday was just a week after his. So, a few weeks before he died when he was being taken to hospice, he made sure that his son purchased a birthday card and gift from him so that it would be there and given to her in case he wasn't around to give it to her himself. His was a life well-lived.
He was a loving and dedicated father to four living children, two daughters and two sons. He loved them greatly and it showed! He was also grandfather to four young grandchildren whom he loved dearly and they loved him back. I admire the commitment and dedication to others that represents. Another story told at the funeral conveyed the mutual love shared between my uncle and his grandchildren. When his life was coming to a close and he was already very weak and at hospice, one of his granddaughters really wanted to be with him, missing his tender, loving touch. So unprompted, she crawled up in the hospital bed with him to snuggle. Even though in a terribly weakened state, he still wrapped his arm around her as they lay there together quietly for several minutes. His was a life well-lived.
As to his vocations in life, he was a farmer, a manager of the Lake Mills Creamery, and a custodian at the Lake Mills Community School. Following his official retirement about thirteen years ago, he continued to perform some part-time carpentry with a friend and assisted various farmers in his community with their harvests. I admire the hard work ethic and lifetime productivity that represents. Knowing that he would eventually lose his battle with cancer after fighting it for ten years, he actively participated in the planning of his own funeral service. Because of his genuine love for children at the school where he was custodian for ten years, he requested a choir from the school sing at his service. And they did. It was an absolutely wonderful and refreshing patriotic tribute to America. His was a life well-lived.
Finally, nearest and dearest to my heart is the fact that my uncle was a writer, and a believer in Jesus Christ.
As to his writing, throughout his life he wrote prose and poetry and shared many of his original writings at Memorial Day and Veterans' Day ceremonies. With only a simple high school education, he also wrote meaningful pieces for friends and family in his community, blessing them at birthday or retirement celebrations.
As to his Christian faith, it was obvious to me from words spoken at the funeral that my uncle had a deep and abiding faith in Christ. The pastor who conducted the services reflected on numerous conversations with my uncle and communicated effectively some intimate references to assurance of my uncle's salvation and personal relationship with Christ.
Yes, his was a life well-lived. Thank you, Uncle Vernell.
May we all express our love and openly appreciate someone we admire while they are still living.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball!
If you know anything about me, you probably already know that I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball! I love almost everything about it! And, this year, my love for this team may payoff in new ways as "my team" is actually going to the playoffs! Yay! And, hopefully they will go deep in the playoffs! Hopefully...
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, we went to a Rangers game at the Ballpark in Arlington (we also went to another game on my birthday, and are going to their final game of the season again today, too!). At that game, I told my sweet wife, Ellen, that I wanted to write down all the various experiences of a Rangers game so that I could blog about it later. Why shouldn't everyone who reads this blog learn more about one of my absolute favorite things? :-)
So, here's a portion of my list of experiences so that you all can better understand why I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball:
- Even as you enter/approach the stadium, there are the nicest people who greet you with a smile and say, "Welcome to the Ballpark!" I love that.
- I'm normally not much of a "groupie" type guy, but I love it that almost everyone wears Rangers shirts/gear to the games.
- I love seeing all the young kids at Rangers games! They are usually so happy and smiling and just delighted to be there with their parents/grandparents (well, at least most of them are!).
- I love the neatly manicured grass of the field and how the maintenance crews spray down the infield with water, getting it to look picture perfect before play begins.
- They usually have a ceremonial first pitch, giving one special person the privilege of having his or her moment in the sun. I love that! The other night it was a boy who was born without arms. He made the first pitch! He threw the ball with his foot. The ball actually made it to the catcher's glove, too! Amazing! What a thrill for that boy. He'll never forget that, I'm sure.
- I love the excitement of the crowd as the announcer gives the starting line-ups for "Your Texas Rangers!"
- I get chills up and down my spine as The Star Spangled Banner is played, and we all remove our caps, stand in attention gazing at the flag and salute our country.
- I love it that you can still bring your own food/drinks into the Ballpark if you want to. We (well, actually it's Ellen!) usually pack a lot of snacks and eat way more than we should. But, it's baseball, for goodness sake!
- I love the video board and highlights from previous games. And, they always show the "positives" from those games, never the "negatives."
- I love that they have short clips of songs for each Rangers batter as they come up to the plate. I love it that several of the Rangers have Christian songs/messages for their clip.
- When you are at a baseball game, you get a chance to sit outside for three plus hours. Most of the time it is really glorious to be out there enjoying the fresh air and cool evening breezes.
- At certain points in the game, the organist will play certain little songs/chords that help get the crowd fired up again and cheering for the Rangers. I love that!
- I love the fact that you can just sit there for three plus hours if you want to and watch the game and/or the people around you and/or the video board and not say anything if you don't want to. To me, baseball is a lot like what other people might enjoy about fishing.
- I love it that they shoot off fireworks when a Rangers player hits a home run.
- I love the fact that even though individual players probably can't hear us when we yell encouragement to them from the stands, we still do it anyway. It creates a constant murmur and/or buzz in the crowd, and that's just baseball.
- Being at Rangers games is still very much a family-friendly activity. I love that! It is still an affordable form of entertainment, there are lots and lots of activities for kids (like one of my favorites, the Longball Blast), and you can simply just enjoy being together during the games without any pressure to be involved in anything else.
- I love the "bump music" between most innings and the standard favorite of singing of "Deep in the Heart of Texas" (complete with clapping) around the 5th inning.
- Who doesn't like the Dot Race? And who doesn't slip back into being a kid again for just a minute while those silly people dressed up as dots run? I love that.
- I love it that they play Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" when the opposing pitcher is in trouble and "give him the boot" when he leaves the game.
- I love the "Stealing Third Base" moment when some kid gets a chance to run like mad to try and steal the base (literally) and make it back to where he or she started before time is up. Plus, if they do it (and a lot of grace is usually extended for this), they get to take that base home with them. How cool!
- I love it that the Rangers still have Dollar Hot Dog nights. Not a big fan of hot dogs myself, but they are so much a part of baseball. And, only a buck for one of those things? What a bargain!
- I love singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" during the 7th inning stretch and then dancing to "Cotton-Eyed Joe" after that. It gets everyone up on their feet moving and smiling and getting their groove on! Even me!
- When they do it, I love the "Kiss Cam" during breaks between innings late in the game. So fun to see the cameras catch couples unexpectedly and then watch them kiss (or not if the couple happens to not be a couple and only on their first date! Ha.)
- In some ballparks they have someone sing "God Bless America" after the 7th inning also. Love that song!
- And finally, at the ballpark you sometimes end up talking with the people around you during the game and nearly become friends by the time 9 innings are over. How many places does that occur these days?
So, that's a little bit about why I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball! I hope the Rangers play well into October, and can I even dream that they make it all the way to the World Series?
My biggest concern now is: What am I going to do from November through March without baseball?
I absolutely LOVE Texas Rangers baseball!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
It had been 30 years
I believe that God gives special gifts to each of us in the form of wonderful people along the way in the span of our lives. He seems to bring these relationships into our lives at strategic points in our development in order to bless us in unusual ways. Our job is to notice the blessing He sends our way, and then thank Him for them, too.
God really blessed me when He allowed my life to overlap with Herrick and Mary Smith.
For a little over six months, this wonderful couple ministered to me at a vulnerable time in my life. I will be forever grateful to God for them!
Let me tell you the story...
It was late 1979, and I was a 25 year old single man working for HDR Architecture in Omaha. Kind of out of the blue, I was presented with a very unique opportunity to teach at the University of Florida for a limited six month period. In order to do this, however, I would need to take a leave of absence from my job, which I did.
Upon arriving in Gainesville, Florida (all alone, not knowing another soul there and a week before Christmas), I soon met Herrick (as he would be my boss for the next six months). He subsequently introduced me to his sweet wife, Mary, over dinner. We three became fast friends! Their overflowing love and selfless generosity spilled over onto me in numerous ways. They even quickly made me "part of their family" and invited me to their home for Christmas Eve.
I could go on and on about all the other things these two wonderful people did for me from that cold December to hot and muggy June in Gainesville. But, that one act of extreme kindness at Christmas impacted me in a very profound way. So much so that I decided I would commit to talking with them by phone every Christmas Eve thereafter (if possible), telling them how I would never forget their generosity towards me and thanking them again for it.
Fast forward to the year 2010.
Last weekend (just before the Labor Day holiday), I traveled to Florida to visit my long-time friend, Herrick, who lost his sweet wife of over 53 years in early August. She succumbed to the ravages of Alzheimer's, a terrible disease that had been diagnosed only a couple of years ago. Alzheimer's cut her wonderful life short, just a few months before her 85th birthday.
After receiving the news of Mary's untimely passing, I wanted to be with Herrick in the worst way. Since I was not able to attend her funeral, I felt compelled to go there and be with him. But, it had been 30 years since we had spent any time together.
What would it be like to be with him again, even if only for parts of two days? Would we even have that much to talk about? What could I do to bring comfort and companionship to this special friend who now found himself all alone in a house he shared with his wife for over 44 years? Was I even the one who should try to do this?
Needless to say, I was a little nervous as I flew on Southwest Airlines from Dallas to New Orleans to Tampa to Jacksonville, and then rented a car and drove the final leg of the journey into Gainesville. I so much wanted my visit to be helpful to Herrick in the midst of his grieving process. But, it had been 30 years.
What if it didn't go well talking with him? What would I do then? What if it was just too hard for either/both of us without his sweet wife, Mary, there? She was always the great conversationalist when we were together.
Well, suffice it to say, the visit ended up going very well. As a matter of fact, I believe we both benefited from our time together. It was a time of healing and a time of hope. I'm so very glad I followed through with the promptings I had to take this trip and spend that time with Herrick.
What lessons can be learned from all this?
God really blessed me when He allowed my life to overlap with Herrick and Mary Smith.
For a little over six months, this wonderful couple ministered to me at a vulnerable time in my life. I will be forever grateful to God for them!
Let me tell you the story...
It was late 1979, and I was a 25 year old single man working for HDR Architecture in Omaha. Kind of out of the blue, I was presented with a very unique opportunity to teach at the University of Florida for a limited six month period. In order to do this, however, I would need to take a leave of absence from my job, which I did.
Upon arriving in Gainesville, Florida (all alone, not knowing another soul there and a week before Christmas), I soon met Herrick (as he would be my boss for the next six months). He subsequently introduced me to his sweet wife, Mary, over dinner. We three became fast friends! Their overflowing love and selfless generosity spilled over onto me in numerous ways. They even quickly made me "part of their family" and invited me to their home for Christmas Eve.
I could go on and on about all the other things these two wonderful people did for me from that cold December to hot and muggy June in Gainesville. But, that one act of extreme kindness at Christmas impacted me in a very profound way. So much so that I decided I would commit to talking with them by phone every Christmas Eve thereafter (if possible), telling them how I would never forget their generosity towards me and thanking them again for it.
Fast forward to the year 2010.
Last weekend (just before the Labor Day holiday), I traveled to Florida to visit my long-time friend, Herrick, who lost his sweet wife of over 53 years in early August. She succumbed to the ravages of Alzheimer's, a terrible disease that had been diagnosed only a couple of years ago. Alzheimer's cut her wonderful life short, just a few months before her 85th birthday.
After receiving the news of Mary's untimely passing, I wanted to be with Herrick in the worst way. Since I was not able to attend her funeral, I felt compelled to go there and be with him. But, it had been 30 years since we had spent any time together.
What would it be like to be with him again, even if only for parts of two days? Would we even have that much to talk about? What could I do to bring comfort and companionship to this special friend who now found himself all alone in a house he shared with his wife for over 44 years? Was I even the one who should try to do this?
Needless to say, I was a little nervous as I flew on Southwest Airlines from Dallas to New Orleans to Tampa to Jacksonville, and then rented a car and drove the final leg of the journey into Gainesville. I so much wanted my visit to be helpful to Herrick in the midst of his grieving process. But, it had been 30 years.
What if it didn't go well talking with him? What would I do then? What if it was just too hard for either/both of us without his sweet wife, Mary, there? She was always the great conversationalist when we were together.
Well, suffice it to say, the visit ended up going very well. As a matter of fact, I believe we both benefited from our time together. It was a time of healing and a time of hope. I'm so very glad I followed through with the promptings I had to take this trip and spend that time with Herrick.
What lessons can be learned from all this?
- Don't forget to look for the special people God puts in your path to bless you.
- Don't forget to be one of the special people God may choose to use to bless someone else in a time of need.
- If you have been blessed, don't ever forget that blessing and remember to pass a similar blessing on to someone else if you are given the chance.
- If God lays a long-time friend on your heart, follow-through with contacting them now. You never know how important your friendship may be to them and/or how timely a call or a visit from you might be in their life right now.
- Thank God for all the special people He's placed in your path along the way.
It had been 30 years. Both of us said we wouldn't let that much time pass before we got together again.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh Out Loud About Life
I'm usually a pretty serious guy. Just ask my wife, Ellen, and/or my family about that! I'll admit that I have frequently used this blog for "getting on my soapbox" about a lot of things that are going on in this world. Usually I write about things that appear to be going bad or wrong out there. And, there certainly are a lot of things that trouble me and cause me to get serious sometimes. But...
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
It was just a couple of days ago on Friday, sometime in the mid-afternoon. I had just received an e-mail at work that hit me kind of funny. So, I decided to forward it on to a couple of people I really love, who I thought might be amused by it as well. As fate would have it, the forwarded e-mail ended up triggering some persistent giggles on the part of at least one of the loved ones who received my forward. Then she called me. At the office, mind you! Well, my apologies to anyone who happened to be sitting around me at work that afternoon, particularly if they were trying to get something done on a Friday afternoon. In a truly serendipitous moment, we both absolutely lost it on the phone! Once the laughter started, it began to snowball even further, to the point of being just a little bit ridiculous! Tears flowed. Knees were slapped. Hilarity became contagious. And finally, I ended up saying, "Stop! Stop!" as I gasped for my next breath. It was a really, really big surprise to both of us! Not what either of us was expecting when the call commenced.
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
Earlier in the week, I received a series of e-mails about a particular subject from family members, including the one who caused me to get completely out of control on the phone on Friday. For some unknown reason, a little birdie inside of me said, "Oh, go ahead! Have some fun with this why don't you?" So, relatively uncharacteristically of me, I did have fun with it. Probably fooled a lot of my family members who don't normally see me pulling pranks or laughing that much or hearing jokes emanating from my mouth. But, I just couldn't resist! I couldn't pass up the opportunity to smile, giggle, and/or laugh to myself. Maybe the stresses of life have been taking their toll on me lately? Maybe it was time for me to just have some fun and relax a bit? Chill out about things happening in my life? I don't know exactly what was going on, but...
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
Many, many years ago, I remember experiencing totally uncontrollable laughter unexpectedly with my Mom. Neither of us are particularly funny people, as a rule. But, in this particular instance, we were over-the-top ourageous in our laughter. We just could not stop no matter what we did. It was another tears flowing, knees slapping, unending hilarity, gasping for a breath moment. Too funny! What made it even funnier was that my Dad was there, but he wasn't getting what we were laughing at. The more my Mom and I laughed, the more my Dad appeared to become completely disgusted with the two of us. It was a completely infectious moment for my Mom and me. We literally could not help ourselves. I am beginning to giggle just thinking about it! Have you ever had one of those moments (kind of like the "I love to laugh" scene in the movie Mary Poppins)? If so, cherish the memory! Remember moments like that when life gets hard and when things don't seem to be going the way you want them to go. Let it go because...
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
It says in Proverbs 17:22 that "A joyful heart is good medicine." Also, I believe it was author and humorist Erma Bombeck who once said (after she found out she had terminal cancer) that if she had it to do all over again, she'd laugh more. Good advice! Let's all laugh more!
So, for today - nothing serious, nothing dire, nothing too spiritual or intellectual or political. I'll save all that for some other blog, some other week. Rather, for today...
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
Got a good laughter story to share? I'd love to hear it. :-) Oh, and did you heard the one about...
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
It was just a couple of days ago on Friday, sometime in the mid-afternoon. I had just received an e-mail at work that hit me kind of funny. So, I decided to forward it on to a couple of people I really love, who I thought might be amused by it as well. As fate would have it, the forwarded e-mail ended up triggering some persistent giggles on the part of at least one of the loved ones who received my forward. Then she called me. At the office, mind you! Well, my apologies to anyone who happened to be sitting around me at work that afternoon, particularly if they were trying to get something done on a Friday afternoon. In a truly serendipitous moment, we both absolutely lost it on the phone! Once the laughter started, it began to snowball even further, to the point of being just a little bit ridiculous! Tears flowed. Knees were slapped. Hilarity became contagious. And finally, I ended up saying, "Stop! Stop!" as I gasped for my next breath. It was a really, really big surprise to both of us! Not what either of us was expecting when the call commenced.
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
Earlier in the week, I received a series of e-mails about a particular subject from family members, including the one who caused me to get completely out of control on the phone on Friday. For some unknown reason, a little birdie inside of me said, "Oh, go ahead! Have some fun with this why don't you?" So, relatively uncharacteristically of me, I did have fun with it. Probably fooled a lot of my family members who don't normally see me pulling pranks or laughing that much or hearing jokes emanating from my mouth. But, I just couldn't resist! I couldn't pass up the opportunity to smile, giggle, and/or laugh to myself. Maybe the stresses of life have been taking their toll on me lately? Maybe it was time for me to just have some fun and relax a bit? Chill out about things happening in my life? I don't know exactly what was going on, but...
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
Many, many years ago, I remember experiencing totally uncontrollable laughter unexpectedly with my Mom. Neither of us are particularly funny people, as a rule. But, in this particular instance, we were over-the-top ourageous in our laughter. We just could not stop no matter what we did. It was another tears flowing, knees slapping, unending hilarity, gasping for a breath moment. Too funny! What made it even funnier was that my Dad was there, but he wasn't getting what we were laughing at. The more my Mom and I laughed, the more my Dad appeared to become completely disgusted with the two of us. It was a completely infectious moment for my Mom and me. We literally could not help ourselves. I am beginning to giggle just thinking about it! Have you ever had one of those moments (kind of like the "I love to laugh" scene in the movie Mary Poppins)? If so, cherish the memory! Remember moments like that when life gets hard and when things don't seem to be going the way you want them to go. Let it go because...
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
It says in Proverbs 17:22 that "A joyful heart is good medicine." Also, I believe it was author and humorist Erma Bombeck who once said (after she found out she had terminal cancer) that if she had it to do all over again, she'd laugh more. Good advice! Let's all laugh more!
So, for today - nothing serious, nothing dire, nothing too spiritual or intellectual or political. I'll save all that for some other blog, some other week. Rather, for today...
Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.
Got a good laughter story to share? I'd love to hear it. :-) Oh, and did you heard the one about...
Sunday, August 15, 2010
There ought to be a law!
This past Friday, I spent the whole day in a seminar entitled, "Legal Issues for Texas Architects and Landscape Architects." Since I am a licensed Landscape Architect in the State of Texas, I needed some continuing education credits for my annual license renewal and this seminar gave me eight TX CEPHs, including the required one for Sustainable Design and the required one for Barrier-Free Design. Those of you not in the architecture or engineering profession might be saying to yourselves right now, "Ho-hum..." Keep reading.
The whole purpose behind requiring licensed design professionals in the State of Texas to garner a certain number of continuing education credits each year for renewal of their licenses is to keep them current in their professions. It also helps remind them on an annual basis of their overall charge in having a license issued by the state - that is to protect the health, safety and welfare of the citizens of Texas as we practice. Whew! Some of you might still be saying, "So what?" Keep reading.
Well, about halfway through the seminar the thought occurred to me that everything I was hearing that day (from eventually all six attorneys who spoke to us), had to do with the miscellaneous interpretations of laws that had been passed by either our federal or state governments in recent years. Needless to say, there were times when I even felt like the speakers did not fully comprehend the laws that had been passed, even though they were declared to be the experts of them! Very frequently the speakers went back through all of the numerous, progressive "add-ons" to the original laws that had been passed, describing the necessities for how laws had to be modified to address issues that weren't covered or even fully considered by the initial piece of legislation. Ugh!
That is when it hit me. I remember hearing this phrase many times growing up. We in this country for too long have been all too quick to say, "There ought to be a law!" Something doesn't set well with us, we see something we don't like happening, someone we know is somehow made uncomfortable by a circumstance and we immediately say to ourselves, "There ought to be a law!"
I'm here to tell you that I think our mantra going forward should rather be, "There ought to be fewer laws!"
For the past 40-50 years when we as a nation have come up against something we don't like and/or don't think should be happening, our knee-jerk reaction has frequently been to introduce legislation attempting to fix or change whatever we personally deem wrong. Oftentimes without regard for any other point of view. After all, too frequently in this country it's all about me, right? And then, when a law is passed in its oftentimes compromised state, we frequently have to go back and amend that law over and over again to get it right. We seldom do.
I am beginning to think that this is no longer a good way to run a country. Rather, we should all just look around us, determine what each of us can do as individuals to make the necessary adjustments in our own lives to demonstrate a better way for others to follow, and then do that. Even if others don't follow, so what? Just live a life, set an example, prove that your way is the best way by living it and leave everyone else to their own business. It's still a free country, right? Right?
Case in point - one of the topics at my seminar on Friday had to do with laws dealing with accessibility. What a great cause! We as a design community should be making sure that everything that gets built is as accessible as possible. However, universal accessibility for each and every possible instance everywhere in the world (no matter when it was built) is probably unrealistic and a big distortion of what was originally intended. Similarly, another topic at the seminar had to do with the "greening" of our buildings. Once again, a great cause! I support it. We as a design community should be making sure that everything we do in our responsibilities as licensed design professionals promotes sustainability. That just makes good common sense. Local materials, less energy, better health for occupants of our buildings, etc. However, you cannot legislate compulsary "greening" for each and every building type all over the world, nor should we even try to! It's just unrealistic to think it will happen! And the costs of attempting to do so will ruin us financially.
So today, we have a lot of cries for laws that mandate proper foods to eat, or mandate generic details for universal healthcare, or mandate the prohibition of certain activities, etc. I'm telling you, all of that is dangerous, and someday soon we may all discover that it is also probably regrettable.
Therefore, starting today, I'd like to advocate a nation-wide campaign that says we should change the language in our country from one that says, "There ought to be a law!" to one that says, "There ought to be fewer laws!" Anyone care to join me in this cause? In my humble opinion, our freedoms and liberty in this country depend on us doing this different in the future than we have done it in the immediate past.
There ought to be fewer laws.
The whole purpose behind requiring licensed design professionals in the State of Texas to garner a certain number of continuing education credits each year for renewal of their licenses is to keep them current in their professions. It also helps remind them on an annual basis of their overall charge in having a license issued by the state - that is to protect the health, safety and welfare of the citizens of Texas as we practice. Whew! Some of you might still be saying, "So what?" Keep reading.
Well, about halfway through the seminar the thought occurred to me that everything I was hearing that day (from eventually all six attorneys who spoke to us), had to do with the miscellaneous interpretations of laws that had been passed by either our federal or state governments in recent years. Needless to say, there were times when I even felt like the speakers did not fully comprehend the laws that had been passed, even though they were declared to be the experts of them! Very frequently the speakers went back through all of the numerous, progressive "add-ons" to the original laws that had been passed, describing the necessities for how laws had to be modified to address issues that weren't covered or even fully considered by the initial piece of legislation. Ugh!
That is when it hit me. I remember hearing this phrase many times growing up. We in this country for too long have been all too quick to say, "There ought to be a law!" Something doesn't set well with us, we see something we don't like happening, someone we know is somehow made uncomfortable by a circumstance and we immediately say to ourselves, "There ought to be a law!"
I'm here to tell you that I think our mantra going forward should rather be, "There ought to be fewer laws!"
For the past 40-50 years when we as a nation have come up against something we don't like and/or don't think should be happening, our knee-jerk reaction has frequently been to introduce legislation attempting to fix or change whatever we personally deem wrong. Oftentimes without regard for any other point of view. After all, too frequently in this country it's all about me, right? And then, when a law is passed in its oftentimes compromised state, we frequently have to go back and amend that law over and over again to get it right. We seldom do.
I am beginning to think that this is no longer a good way to run a country. Rather, we should all just look around us, determine what each of us can do as individuals to make the necessary adjustments in our own lives to demonstrate a better way for others to follow, and then do that. Even if others don't follow, so what? Just live a life, set an example, prove that your way is the best way by living it and leave everyone else to their own business. It's still a free country, right? Right?
Case in point - one of the topics at my seminar on Friday had to do with laws dealing with accessibility. What a great cause! We as a design community should be making sure that everything that gets built is as accessible as possible. However, universal accessibility for each and every possible instance everywhere in the world (no matter when it was built) is probably unrealistic and a big distortion of what was originally intended. Similarly, another topic at the seminar had to do with the "greening" of our buildings. Once again, a great cause! I support it. We as a design community should be making sure that everything we do in our responsibilities as licensed design professionals promotes sustainability. That just makes good common sense. Local materials, less energy, better health for occupants of our buildings, etc. However, you cannot legislate compulsary "greening" for each and every building type all over the world, nor should we even try to! It's just unrealistic to think it will happen! And the costs of attempting to do so will ruin us financially.
So today, we have a lot of cries for laws that mandate proper foods to eat, or mandate generic details for universal healthcare, or mandate the prohibition of certain activities, etc. I'm telling you, all of that is dangerous, and someday soon we may all discover that it is also probably regrettable.
Therefore, starting today, I'd like to advocate a nation-wide campaign that says we should change the language in our country from one that says, "There ought to be a law!" to one that says, "There ought to be fewer laws!" Anyone care to join me in this cause? In my humble opinion, our freedoms and liberty in this country depend on us doing this different in the future than we have done it in the immediate past.
There ought to be fewer laws.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
It is not good for the man to be alone...
I'm alone in our house right now. My wife and youngest son are in Oregon visiting family/friends. I stayed home alone.
Truth be told, I was really looking forward to doing this alone thing. I always do. I always say to myself when I know that I will be alone and have the house to myself, "You can do this, you can do that. You can get all those things done that you're always wanting to do." I fool myself into thinking that I will be able to read books/magazines uninterrupted. That I will be able to set my own schedule for everything I do. That I will not have to worry about the schedule/activities of anyone else. Who am I kidding?
It is not good for the man to be alone.
God had it right when He spoke these words recorded in Genesis 2. Even though we are basically selfish creatures, frequently more self-focused/self-centered than we should be, we really do need each other. We need other people.
When I am alone (like my current situation), it seems my self-focus/self-centeredness increases. Not only that, I begin to almost resent other people who innocently invade my aloneness. When we are alone, generally not a lot of good happens. When we allow our self-focus/self-centeredness to increase, we can forget the value of other people in our lives and how much we really need them.
This past week, a friend of mine, Herrick, a friend I've known for over thirty years, lost his sweet wife, Mary. She finally succumbed to the ravages of a terrible disease that complicated and compromised her life the past several years. I ache for Herrick right now. He is alone in the home he shared with Mary for almost 50 years. Now, of course, for the time being, he does have people in his house - his children and their families, his friends, his neighbors, people from his church, etc. But, someday soon, he will have to face the fact that he is now all alone in that house. And, I am certain that when that happens, he will agree with God that, "It is not good for the man to be alone."
I don't think it is a coincidence that my circumstances of being alone are juxtaposed with my friend Herrick's being alone. I believe that God allowed this to teach me some very important lessons. It's not a mistake that I am seeing this being alone experience in fresh, new ways right now. My perspective on being alone is changing.
Am I saying that you should ALWAYS be around other people and never have a moment to yourself? No. I'm just saying that we all need to be careful when we are in the circumstance of being alone. Careful that we don't allow the self-focus/self-centeredness we all struggle with to deepen/grow. Rather, we need to turn this alone time into opportunities to bless other people. Here's a few things I might try to do the next several days while I am alone:
- I can pray for my wife and son, that they will have a wonderful time with family/friends.
- I can pray for my friend, Herrick, and his family; that God will comfort them as they mourn.
- I can write to my friend, Herrick, encouraging him in his time of need by telling him how much I loved his Mary, and remind him of all the wonderful ways the two of them lived life to the fullest.
- I can ask some neighbors out for lunch (as I did today), telling them with both my words and actions how much they mean to us as neighbors and how blessed we are to be living next to them.
- I can call some people I don't normally take the time to call and surprise them with that.
Well, I think you get the idea.
It is not good for the man to be alone. Seize the opportunity when you are alone the next time to think about the needs of someone else, not just your own. And then act on those thoughts. You probably won't regret it.
Now, off to that book I was going to read...
Truth be told, I was really looking forward to doing this alone thing. I always do. I always say to myself when I know that I will be alone and have the house to myself, "You can do this, you can do that. You can get all those things done that you're always wanting to do." I fool myself into thinking that I will be able to read books/magazines uninterrupted. That I will be able to set my own schedule for everything I do. That I will not have to worry about the schedule/activities of anyone else. Who am I kidding?
It is not good for the man to be alone.
God had it right when He spoke these words recorded in Genesis 2. Even though we are basically selfish creatures, frequently more self-focused/self-centered than we should be, we really do need each other. We need other people.
When I am alone (like my current situation), it seems my self-focus/self-centeredness increases. Not only that, I begin to almost resent other people who innocently invade my aloneness. When we are alone, generally not a lot of good happens. When we allow our self-focus/self-centeredness to increase, we can forget the value of other people in our lives and how much we really need them.
This past week, a friend of mine, Herrick, a friend I've known for over thirty years, lost his sweet wife, Mary. She finally succumbed to the ravages of a terrible disease that complicated and compromised her life the past several years. I ache for Herrick right now. He is alone in the home he shared with Mary for almost 50 years. Now, of course, for the time being, he does have people in his house - his children and their families, his friends, his neighbors, people from his church, etc. But, someday soon, he will have to face the fact that he is now all alone in that house. And, I am certain that when that happens, he will agree with God that, "It is not good for the man to be alone."
I don't think it is a coincidence that my circumstances of being alone are juxtaposed with my friend Herrick's being alone. I believe that God allowed this to teach me some very important lessons. It's not a mistake that I am seeing this being alone experience in fresh, new ways right now. My perspective on being alone is changing.
Am I saying that you should ALWAYS be around other people and never have a moment to yourself? No. I'm just saying that we all need to be careful when we are in the circumstance of being alone. Careful that we don't allow the self-focus/self-centeredness we all struggle with to deepen/grow. Rather, we need to turn this alone time into opportunities to bless other people. Here's a few things I might try to do the next several days while I am alone:
- I can pray for my wife and son, that they will have a wonderful time with family/friends.
- I can pray for my friend, Herrick, and his family; that God will comfort them as they mourn.
- I can write to my friend, Herrick, encouraging him in his time of need by telling him how much I loved his Mary, and remind him of all the wonderful ways the two of them lived life to the fullest.
- I can ask some neighbors out for lunch (as I did today), telling them with both my words and actions how much they mean to us as neighbors and how blessed we are to be living next to them.
- I can call some people I don't normally take the time to call and surprise them with that.
Well, I think you get the idea.
It is not good for the man to be alone. Seize the opportunity when you are alone the next time to think about the needs of someone else, not just your own. And then act on those thoughts. You probably won't regret it.
Now, off to that book I was going to read...
Sunday, July 25, 2010
When Amateurs Are In Charge
Now that I am older (not really old mind you, just older), I find myself a little less tolerant of "amateurs."
But, before you jump all over me for being too harsh in my assessment of "amateurs," let me tell you that I completely understand that I was once an "amateur" myself. The really dumb things I did at a much earlier age (all the while thinking I was so doggone smart!) are totally embarrassing to me now. Wow. Why didn't someone tell me that I was such a rank "amateur" in so many areas? And I was. Believe me! Ugh.
Fortunately, I had several people who gave me multiple chances at strategic places in my life. They gave me chances to try and fail. They gave me chances to learn and grow. They even gave me chances to make dumb mistakes. They also gave me chances to learn valuable lessons from the dumb mistakes I made. Hallelujah for that!
The measurable consequences of my plentiful "amateur" mistakes were pretty small. I hope and pray that very few people were severely impacted by my true "amateur" status earlier in life.
Fast forward to today. Sure seems like there are a lot of "amateurs" out there, doesn't it? Sure seems like there are a lot of well-meaning people in several places trying and failing at their jobs, doesn't it? Sure seems to be a lot of people in need of a lot of learning and growing before they'll really be able to be good at what they do, doesn't it? From my perspective, there seems to be a lot of people making some really dumb mistakes affecting untold numbers of people. I believe that there is a plethora (I love that word - a la El Guappo from The Three Amigos!) of folks out there who really need some wisdom and a crash course on life (including lessons learned from same) before they'll ever be very good at their jobs/stations in life. Unfortunately, the mistakes being made today seem to be accelerating daily, compounding some daunting negative impacts on a lot of people, too. Am I the only one who thinks this way?
Concerning all of this, a thought has been rattling around in my head for several weeks. It goes like this: This is what happens when amateurs are in charge.
Whatever happened to valuing age and life experience, trusting the collective wisdom of the people who traveled this life before us? Why are we all so quick to throw out time-tested, tried and true principles/life lessons these days, falling head over heals instead for whatever is new, popular, politically correct or simply marketed well? Isn't there something to be learned from those who have gone before us? Something?
Now that I am older, I am valuing the input and recommendations of those who have gone before me a lot more than I ever have before. Also, as much as I like giving people multiple chances and helping them to learn in this life, I am beginning to think we can't afford to do that much more when there are so many grossly negative consequences for doing this when amateurs are in charge.
My advice to you (even though you aren't necessarily asking me for it!) is to look around and find someone close to you who has traveled this life well and learned a lot from it. Hang around that person. Learn all you can from them. Ask questions of them. Take notes. Be willing to accept the fact that you more than likely don't know it all (I know that that revelation will be a shock to some of you!). Recognize that there is always something to be learned from someone else. Maybe even someone as old as me?
Who knows? Maybe you'll actually discover something really valuable from the experience and be able to take that something to an even higher level as you live your life? Who knows?
In conclusion, I just want to leave you with this final thought: really unfortunate things happen when amateurs are in charge.
But, before you jump all over me for being too harsh in my assessment of "amateurs," let me tell you that I completely understand that I was once an "amateur" myself. The really dumb things I did at a much earlier age (all the while thinking I was so doggone smart!) are totally embarrassing to me now. Wow. Why didn't someone tell me that I was such a rank "amateur" in so many areas? And I was. Believe me! Ugh.
Fortunately, I had several people who gave me multiple chances at strategic places in my life. They gave me chances to try and fail. They gave me chances to learn and grow. They even gave me chances to make dumb mistakes. They also gave me chances to learn valuable lessons from the dumb mistakes I made. Hallelujah for that!
The measurable consequences of my plentiful "amateur" mistakes were pretty small. I hope and pray that very few people were severely impacted by my true "amateur" status earlier in life.
Fast forward to today. Sure seems like there are a lot of "amateurs" out there, doesn't it? Sure seems like there are a lot of well-meaning people in several places trying and failing at their jobs, doesn't it? Sure seems to be a lot of people in need of a lot of learning and growing before they'll really be able to be good at what they do, doesn't it? From my perspective, there seems to be a lot of people making some really dumb mistakes affecting untold numbers of people. I believe that there is a plethora (I love that word - a la El Guappo from The Three Amigos!) of folks out there who really need some wisdom and a crash course on life (including lessons learned from same) before they'll ever be very good at their jobs/stations in life. Unfortunately, the mistakes being made today seem to be accelerating daily, compounding some daunting negative impacts on a lot of people, too. Am I the only one who thinks this way?
Concerning all of this, a thought has been rattling around in my head for several weeks. It goes like this: This is what happens when amateurs are in charge.
Whatever happened to valuing age and life experience, trusting the collective wisdom of the people who traveled this life before us? Why are we all so quick to throw out time-tested, tried and true principles/life lessons these days, falling head over heals instead for whatever is new, popular, politically correct or simply marketed well? Isn't there something to be learned from those who have gone before us? Something?
Now that I am older, I am valuing the input and recommendations of those who have gone before me a lot more than I ever have before. Also, as much as I like giving people multiple chances and helping them to learn in this life, I am beginning to think we can't afford to do that much more when there are so many grossly negative consequences for doing this when amateurs are in charge.
My advice to you (even though you aren't necessarily asking me for it!) is to look around and find someone close to you who has traveled this life well and learned a lot from it. Hang around that person. Learn all you can from them. Ask questions of them. Take notes. Be willing to accept the fact that you more than likely don't know it all (I know that that revelation will be a shock to some of you!). Recognize that there is always something to be learned from someone else. Maybe even someone as old as me?
Who knows? Maybe you'll actually discover something really valuable from the experience and be able to take that something to an even higher level as you live your life? Who knows?
In conclusion, I just want to leave you with this final thought: really unfortunate things happen when amateurs are in charge.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Crapemyrtles
What's your view of life these days? Is it "everything's on the up and up," or are you a little bit more pessimistic than that?
I would have to say that there are a lot of things to be discouraged about right now - here in the United States as well as around the world. I won't begin to spell out for you all the stuff that has me personally concerned, but my list seems to get longer and longer every day. And then it either shrinks or grows depending on my attitude and/or how I choose to view life at that moment in time.
But, when I really think about it, I have to ask: "When hasn't there been a lot to be discouraged about in this world?" Hasn't there always been troubles/difficulties of some sort or another?
Why is it that we are sometimes prone to focus on just the troubles and difficulties in this life? Why is it that we sometimes only see the bad in life and completely miss the good?
That is why I am so glad that God made crapemyrtles.
If you live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, I hope you've noticed how absolutely beautiful the crapemyrtles are this year! I guess the combination of lots and lots of spring rains followed by very hot temperatures is just what the crapemyrtles needed to show off their absolutely gorgeous colors. Wow! Some of the ones in this area are incredibly beautiful!
After noticing crapemyrtles a lot the past few days, I decided it was time to take a photo of one particularly brilliant one on my way home from church today (see photo at the beginning of this blog). I am amazed at how vibrant the color is and how bountiful the blossoms on this one tree! Amazing!
While observing the beauty of the crapemyrtles, I couldn't help but think of the lyrics to a song. It is these words that frequently run through my head whenever I experience something so beautiful in God's creation. The lyrics I am referring to are taken from a song entitled "That's the Love of God," written by Phill McHugh and Greg Nelson back in 1989. It was Sandi Patti who made this song and its words famous/popular several years ago. The lyrics go like this:
What made God take so much care
To make creation glow
He could have made it black and white
And we'd have never known.
So, going forward I am going to try to remember that even when it seems like there is a lot to be discouraged about in our world, I need to stop and check my attitude.
Am I dwelling too much on the bad, not allowing myself to consider something good - like the magnificent beauty of crapemyrtles?
Am I thinking enough about how good God is towards me - about how His creation provides incredible beauty and bounty if we will only stop and take notice?
Have I thanked God today for making living plants like crapemyrtles to explode with color - even though He could've made them black and white and we'd have never known?
In spite of all the stuff that could bring us down and get us really discouraged in this life, let's remember that God gave us crapemyrtles.
Don't just focus on the bad in the world. Allow yourself to focus on the good, too.
What's your view of life today?
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Who Moved the Furniture?
My wife and I recently "rearranged" the living room in our house (even if ever so slightly) in anticipation of having some out-of-town guests/family come for a short visit this coming week. We wanted to make our living room a little bit easier for entertaining both in-town and out-of-town guests/family. We also wanted to make the room better for television/movie watching when there are only three of us here doing that.
Anyway, for several days after we did the rearranging, each time I passed through the living room, I thought to myself, "Who moved the furniture?"
Isn't it funny how accustomed and comfortable we can get to things being a certain way in life (even down to the arrangement of furniture in rooms in our houses)? And then, someone or something changes (even if only in a small or insignificant way) and we exclaim to ourselves, "Who moved the furniture?"
The older I get, the more I seem to notice changes, even small ones.
I have found that there is comfort in things being and/or staying somewhat predictable in life. There is comfort in not having to re-think everything each and every day we live. As a matter of fact, it can be downright uncomfortable when you have to adapt to change after change after change after change. Why don't we just leave things the way they are? Why do we have to continually change things?
Well, I've also come to realize that change is just a part of life. Get over it!
As much as I'd like to lock down on somethings and declare them to be totally unchangeable from this point forward, I need to be careful. An attitude like that only leads to unhealthy rigidity, potential alienation of people in my life and maybe even a bad case of ugly legalism. Taken to an even greater extreme, an unwillingness to accept and respond to change leads to a lot of other not so great attributes, too.
On the other hand, there are some things that are worth locking down on and declaring to be totally unchangeable. And that's really O.K., too. Living your life in constant state of change (oftentimes just for the sake of resisting permanence and/or stability) is no more virtuous than living your life unwilling to change. As with a lot of other things in life, the trick is trying to find a healthy balance between constant change and an unwillingness to change at all.
Recently, I traveled to the place where I grew up in Iowa. We visited several family members there. In a lot of ways it seemed to me that not a lot had changed since I was living there 40-50 years ago. I didn't know how I felt about that. Why hadn't this place and the people changed more? What was wrong with them? And then I said to myself that the fact that not a lot had changed was also very good. There were (and are) a lot of things in Iowa that shouldn't change. I realized that even though I had changed a lot from where I was 40-50 years ago, a lot of things also had not changed and that was equally good.
Balancing change, adapting to changes without compromising, and sorting out what really matters in life is key when it comes to change. Wish I had the fine art of it mastered, but I don't. I probably still resist change in a lot of areas, and then am way too prone to change when change is not necessary at all.
So, here's my challenge to all of you reading this. The next time you notice a change, and either remark to yourself, "Who moved the furniture?" and resist it with all your mind, soul and strength or accept the change way too quickly without fully evaluating all the ramifications, I would encourage you to ask yourself the following questions, long before passing final judgment on the change:
- Am I reacting poorly to this change because I am hopelessly stuck and unwilling to adapt to something new and different?
- Am I becoming too rigid and "out-of-touch" with the world I am living in because I resist changes like this so vehemently?
- What did I abandon and/or give-up by accepting this change? In the grand scheme of things, was that abandonment and/or compromised principle worth giving up?
- Is the change I am now facing a change just for change sake? Am I way too prone to make the change just because it is a "popular" thing to do?
- Is the change I am accepting causing me to forget where I've come from and all that was invested in me in the past?
Who moved the furniture?
Anyway, for several days after we did the rearranging, each time I passed through the living room, I thought to myself, "Who moved the furniture?"
Isn't it funny how accustomed and comfortable we can get to things being a certain way in life (even down to the arrangement of furniture in rooms in our houses)? And then, someone or something changes (even if only in a small or insignificant way) and we exclaim to ourselves, "Who moved the furniture?"
The older I get, the more I seem to notice changes, even small ones.
I have found that there is comfort in things being and/or staying somewhat predictable in life. There is comfort in not having to re-think everything each and every day we live. As a matter of fact, it can be downright uncomfortable when you have to adapt to change after change after change after change. Why don't we just leave things the way they are? Why do we have to continually change things?
Well, I've also come to realize that change is just a part of life. Get over it!
As much as I'd like to lock down on somethings and declare them to be totally unchangeable from this point forward, I need to be careful. An attitude like that only leads to unhealthy rigidity, potential alienation of people in my life and maybe even a bad case of ugly legalism. Taken to an even greater extreme, an unwillingness to accept and respond to change leads to a lot of other not so great attributes, too.
On the other hand, there are some things that are worth locking down on and declaring to be totally unchangeable. And that's really O.K., too. Living your life in constant state of change (oftentimes just for the sake of resisting permanence and/or stability) is no more virtuous than living your life unwilling to change. As with a lot of other things in life, the trick is trying to find a healthy balance between constant change and an unwillingness to change at all.
Recently, I traveled to the place where I grew up in Iowa. We visited several family members there. In a lot of ways it seemed to me that not a lot had changed since I was living there 40-50 years ago. I didn't know how I felt about that. Why hadn't this place and the people changed more? What was wrong with them? And then I said to myself that the fact that not a lot had changed was also very good. There were (and are) a lot of things in Iowa that shouldn't change. I realized that even though I had changed a lot from where I was 40-50 years ago, a lot of things also had not changed and that was equally good.
Balancing change, adapting to changes without compromising, and sorting out what really matters in life is key when it comes to change. Wish I had the fine art of it mastered, but I don't. I probably still resist change in a lot of areas, and then am way too prone to change when change is not necessary at all.
So, here's my challenge to all of you reading this. The next time you notice a change, and either remark to yourself, "Who moved the furniture?" and resist it with all your mind, soul and strength or accept the change way too quickly without fully evaluating all the ramifications, I would encourage you to ask yourself the following questions, long before passing final judgment on the change:
- Am I reacting poorly to this change because I am hopelessly stuck and unwilling to adapt to something new and different?
- Am I becoming too rigid and "out-of-touch" with the world I am living in because I resist changes like this so vehemently?
- What did I abandon and/or give-up by accepting this change? In the grand scheme of things, was that abandonment and/or compromised principle worth giving up?
- Is the change I am now facing a change just for change sake? Am I way too prone to make the change just because it is a "popular" thing to do?
- Is the change I am accepting causing me to forget where I've come from and all that was invested in me in the past?
Who moved the furniture?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Less of Me
Day-in, day-out, this life sure can have its share of struggles. And some of those struggles usually are with the people we know and love best of all. Why is it that relationships are so hard sometimes?
Don't get me wrong. When it comes to relationships, I am blessed way beyond imagination! And, I am very, very grateful to God for each and every relationship He's given me. I am blessed by all the people God has placed in my life. Well, almost all the people (smile)...
So, why is it that we sometimes struggle with relationships in this life, especially when most of us are so blessed by all the people we know and love?
I believe the answer to that question is selfishness.
We are all selfish creatures. So, when it comes to our relationships, we want our own way. We'll get along with the other people God has placed in our lives (at work, at church, at school and maybe even in our own homes/families?) as long as they do just what we want them to do. Sound familiar?
Too often, many of us adopt a "my way or the highway" attitude when it comes to our closest relationships. As long as the other person agrees with me and what I think, then we'll get along. However, if they have another idea about a subject and I don't like it, well...
I love it when the lyrics of certain songs provide just the answers we need for the struggles we encounter in this life. I'm sure that all of us have at some time heard a song and immediately it touches our heart. Then, as often times happens, many, many years later those same lyrics are still stuck in your head reminding you of something that touched your heart long ago.
As I was thinking about writing this blog today and consequently mulling over the various events of the past week (which is what I do to get inspired for these blogs each week), one song kept popping into my head. It seemed to be just what I needed to hear again for the struggles I was experiencing with the various relationships in my life.
The name of the song is "Less of Me."
I first remember hearing this song back in 1978-79 at Dundee Presbyterian Church - Omaha, Nebraska. It was a Camp Sunday song that the high school students shared upon returning from their weeklong summer camp. The song really struck a chord (pun intended) with me, especially concerning my specific problem with selfishness. There have been many times over the past 30 years where I've had the lyrics to this song pop into my head, usually when I am in the midst of some struggle with a relationship and don't know what to do. The lyrics go like this:
Let me be a little kinder
Let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those around me
Let me praise a little more
Let me be when I am weary
Just a little bit more cheery
Think a little more of others
And a little less of me
Let me be a little braver
When temptation bids me waiver
Let me strive a little harder
To be all that I should be
Let me be a little meeker
With a brother that is weaker
Let me think more of my neighbor
And a little less of me
Struggles with relationships in this life? Try the less of me approach. It has helped me...
Don't get me wrong. When it comes to relationships, I am blessed way beyond imagination! And, I am very, very grateful to God for each and every relationship He's given me. I am blessed by all the people God has placed in my life. Well, almost all the people (smile)...
So, why is it that we sometimes struggle with relationships in this life, especially when most of us are so blessed by all the people we know and love?
I believe the answer to that question is selfishness.
We are all selfish creatures. So, when it comes to our relationships, we want our own way. We'll get along with the other people God has placed in our lives (at work, at church, at school and maybe even in our own homes/families?) as long as they do just what we want them to do. Sound familiar?
Too often, many of us adopt a "my way or the highway" attitude when it comes to our closest relationships. As long as the other person agrees with me and what I think, then we'll get along. However, if they have another idea about a subject and I don't like it, well...
I love it when the lyrics of certain songs provide just the answers we need for the struggles we encounter in this life. I'm sure that all of us have at some time heard a song and immediately it touches our heart. Then, as often times happens, many, many years later those same lyrics are still stuck in your head reminding you of something that touched your heart long ago.
As I was thinking about writing this blog today and consequently mulling over the various events of the past week (which is what I do to get inspired for these blogs each week), one song kept popping into my head. It seemed to be just what I needed to hear again for the struggles I was experiencing with the various relationships in my life.
The name of the song is "Less of Me."
I first remember hearing this song back in 1978-79 at Dundee Presbyterian Church - Omaha, Nebraska. It was a Camp Sunday song that the high school students shared upon returning from their weeklong summer camp. The song really struck a chord (pun intended) with me, especially concerning my specific problem with selfishness. There have been many times over the past 30 years where I've had the lyrics to this song pop into my head, usually when I am in the midst of some struggle with a relationship and don't know what to do. The lyrics go like this:
Let me be a little kinder
Let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those around me
Let me praise a little more
Let me be when I am weary
Just a little bit more cheery
Think a little more of others
And a little less of me
Let me be a little braver
When temptation bids me waiver
Let me strive a little harder
To be all that I should be
Let me be a little meeker
With a brother that is weaker
Let me think more of my neighbor
And a little less of me
Struggles with relationships in this life? Try the less of me approach. It has helped me...
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