Life is Long

Last weekend, I was introduced to a new phrase (at least it was new to me). After hearing it spoken several times in a few hours, I asked about it. What was the meaning of the phrase "life is long?" All this week I have been pondering that phrase and giving its meaning a lot of thought. Here's my two takes on the phrase "life is long."

It was our son, Andy, and his beautiful girlfriend, Maddie, both from New York City, who introduced me to this phrase. They were our house guests for a quick 30 hours last weekend. We sure did pack a lot into that amount of time! It was our first time to meet Maddie in person and we had a wonderful time with both of them while they were here!

Anyway, after hearing each of them use this phrase at different moments in our conversations, I asked about it. They told me that it had to do with the blessing of life giving you second chances, opportunities for do-overs and improvements when you need them based on what is now behind you. What was done in the past, whether it be yesterday, last week, last year or even several years ago, doesn't necessarily have to define your future. Isn't that a great idea to have the perspective that "life is long?" Even though the phrase was new to me, I have certainly experienced the benefits of this concept in my life.

Because thus far my life has been long, I have been able to learn from my mistakes and attempt to do things different the next time based on my experiences. This has been true in my life both personally and professionally. Imagine if you didn't have the perspective of "life is long." If what you did yesterday, last week, last year or even several years ago trapped you. That would be a terrible way to live! I am convinced that with God's help, we each have opportunities every day to start fresh, to blaze new trails, to learn from what happened in the past and to write new stories. Hallelujah!

So, life is long. Except when it isn't.

Juxtaposed to Andy and Maddie's visit last weekend, I was mourning the loss of a very dear friend. He died last Saturday from heart failure. He was only 63. For my friend, Al Bryant, life wasn't long. It would seem that his life was cut way too short and I am really, really going to miss him.

However, after attending Al's funeral service yesterday, his life was in fact very long, and very full, and very productive, and one of tremendous impact! You see, Al's primary purpose in life was to love people. And love people he did! He not only loved just about everyone he ever met, he also purposefully pointed them to the One who could provide a greater love for all eternity, for the salvation of our souls - that is, Jesus Christ. It was remarkable to me to hear all the stories about all the lives that Al touched in his short time here on earth. As I was lamenting not reaching out to him more and spending more time with him these last several years, I began to realize, "When would he have had time for me anyway?" He was busy loving people, and loving more people, and loving even more people every day of his life! 

Al is an inspiration to me! His life was cut short (humanly speaking), but he made every effort possible to honor, love, serve and tell people about his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ while he still had breath in his lungs. Even though his days on this earth were shorter than mine, what he accomplished for eternity was truly remarkable and incredibly inspirational.

I still like this new phrase "life is long." I especially like how it has been revealed to me to have multiple meanings. Thank God for second chances and opportunities for do-overs. Thank God for strength to persevere when given more time to make improvements based on what I've learned from my past. Similarly, "life is long" for opportunities to share it with others, loving them well. But, what am I accomplishing for eternity with the days/years I am given? Will what I am doing count?

In closing, I am reminded of some lines that may be familiar to you from the poem "Only One Life" by C. T. Studd:

Only one life, yes only one,
Now let me say, 'Thy will be done';
And when at last I'll hear the call,
I know I'll say 'twas worth it all';
Only one life, 'twill soon be past,
Only what's done for Christ will last."

Life is long. Think about it. 
         

My Six Months of Irresponsibility is Over Today

It may not be until this stage of life that you can even offer words of wisdom. Let's face it, earlier in life you really haven't lived long enough to truly know and understand much. But, since I am soon approaching my 65th birthday, maybe I have lived long enough to actually impart some wisdom? You be the judge after reading this blog post.

Today marks six months since my official "retirement" from working life. In some ways it's hard to believe that it's already been that long. In other ways it seems like I've always been retired. Suffice it to say, I am still loving retirement! No question about that!

In contemplating writing something for today, it occurred to me that I might be having my own "Ecclesiastes" moment. What I mean by that is that I felt a need to call an assembly to hear my thoughts on retirement thus far, similar to how King Solomon did something like that in his book in the Bible. Solomon looked back, noticed life as a breath or a vapor, pondered his life's purpose, asked whether what he strove for was worth it, and questioned whether he'd lived life as he should have to that point. Not sure if all of that will come out in this post, but I'll give it a try.

Solomon started his book by saying: "...words of the Teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem." Well, I haven't ever been a full-time "teacher" in my life, and I'm certainly not the son of a king. But, I am amazed at the profound influence my Dad (a "king" to me) has had on my life (especially in the past year as we mourned his loss). I literally think about him and miss him every day. I wouldn't say that ours was an inseparable father/son relationship. But, I would say that his life has totally affected mine in ways innumerable. His life, well-lived, guides much of what I do and say and think every day. I am so very grateful for that.

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon spoke of a variety of miscellaneous topics about his life. I'll use several of those same topics as my framework for thoughts in what follows.

Pleasures - Solomon warned his readers that life can be a lot about gathering and accumulating - houses, gardens, treasures, etc. We are so fortunate to have a house that we love, a small yard that we enjoy and more than enough resources to live on comfortably. I am so grateful for that. But, there is an emptiness if enjoying pleasures like those is all you have. If all you are living for is the next pleasure you can experience, that won't be nearly enough and you'll never be satisfied.

The Mystery of Time - Our lives go by so very quickly. Reflecting back on the good life I've enjoyed thus far is a blessing, for sure. My life has been very full and for that I am extremely grateful. However, no one knows for certain the exact number of days you are given in this life. Only God knows that. So, these days I'm trying to live life with eternity in mind. I'm trying to enjoy the time I'm given, remembering that each minute, hour, day, and year is a precious gift from God.

Loneliness - Since I am not in the working world any more (with numerous friends and colleagues to interact with), my life could be somewhat lonely if I let it be. Therefore, I've discovered the vital importance of getting out of the house and interacting with other people more often. Not for the purpose of earning a living (as in my past), but rather to foster and deepen key relationships with the people God has placed in my life at this time. I've already discovered that it can be so easy to isolate from others at this stage of life. Therefore, I constantly need to make a concerted effort to call or e-mail people I know and love and/or schedule specific times with family, friends and neighbors so that the potential of loneliness is minimized. I need other people in my life.

Caution in God's Presence - As with my previous working days, obedience to God's calling and being careful with the words I say is still an important principle to live by in retirement. I really don't want to be one of those old guys who keeps talking even when those around me have stopped listening! Yikes. Hearing what other people have to say is important. Vows that have been made need to be fulfilled. Promises offered to others need to be kept. I must remember that all the riches and health/wealth I now enjoy are immeasurable gifts from God. I experience great happiness and maximum fulfillment when I do!

Wise Sayings/Avoid Extremes/Friendships Important - I am discovering that it is really important to share what I've learned in life with others. It's also important to avoid daily temptation extremes (in eating, spending, entertainment, etc.). The pent up demands for "doing what I want to do" (now that I can!) must be avoided constantly. In addition, proactively cultivating dear friendships while looking out for the needs of others around me (when I now have the time and resources to do so) is vital. I really need to continually be reminded to not waste the relationship opportunities I'm given each day.

Enjoying Life - Time spent with my wife, Ellen, each and every day is becoming more and more precious to me. It has been a big adjustment for both of us, for sure! But, as we do the hard work of getting to know each other more deeply (and completely) in these early days of retirement, I'm more and more convinced the rewards and payoff for doing so will be so worth it (for all the years to come).

The Burden of Folly - I am amazed at how tempting it is every day to want to just waste time or let time drift and not be useful or productive. Not that every minute of every day has to be totally useful or productive. But, there are golden opportunities every day to accomplish tasks and/or make a difference in other people's lives (if I am looking for them). Why waste those? Settling for silly stuff or letting my mind be occupied with stuff that just doesn't matter for eternity seems like such a folly.

Invest in Life - It has become painfully obvious to me as of late how important it will be to nurture and protect the great health I currently have going forward. And, I don't just mean physical health (although that is very important). Emotional, psychological and spiritual health is every bit as important. For the number of days I am given in this life, I want to live them in the best health possible, with gladness and joy to the max. But, that requires daily investments!

Solomon's conclusion at the end of his book was: "...fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity." He also said: "For God will bring every act to judgment, including every hidden thing, whether good or evil." My conclusion thus far is very similar. I want to remember that each day is a gift from God. I also want to remember to glorify God with everything I do. All things matter, even in my retirement years. I want to always be useful, always be heavenly-minded, always love people, always invest in other's lives, always serve those who I come in contact with, and always enjoy knowing that all blessings I enjoy come from God. He is the reason I even have the opportunity to be retired.

I'm still learning a lot about life, and still looking forward to the next milestones that come my way in retirement. I am very grateful for the privilege of even crafting these words and sharing them openly with all who read them. I don't have any more "cover" now for being completely irresponsible. I hope the next six months will be focused on acquiring and exuding additional wisdom for the rest of my retirement years, however many that may be.

It is fitting to note that at the end of this six months period of being completely irresponsible, I grew a beard for the very first time in my life. We'll see if it lasts...

Crumbling Pots

It was probably about 36 years ago. I was a young and very inexperienced design professional (landscape architect-in-training), working a job I really loved (and thought I was pretty good at, too).

That was when I had to learn some valuable lessons on life from crumbling pots.

I had designed what I thought was a really cool project - a "roof garden" at a hospital's expansion in Decatur, Illinois. It was definitely unique, innovative, and not a standard approach. Essentially, my design was the placement of various-sized geometric wooden pallets in decorative patterns all over an otherwise normal (and ugly) conventional roof, primarily to be viewed from the hospital expansion's new patient rooms. The pallets would be where hundreds of various-sized clay pots would be placed. They would then be filled with potting soil and planted with shrubs/flowers to provide the "garden" part of the design.

Conventional thinking at the time for roof garden design required placement of considerable depths of soil over roof areas, then installing landscape plant materials in same (like a typical garden). That was not possible for this project due to restricted structural loading (weight concerns) for the building's roof, as well as for a lot of other relatively complex and difficult construction/maintenance and drainage realities. As a wide-eyed, novice designer, I wasn't going to let restrictions keep me from coming up with some way to make that roof a garden. There just had to be a way, and I was convinced that I could avoid that restriction.

As the design was being finalized, I was receiving all sorts of accolades from my peers for creating such a unique and unusual design. However, some of my co-workers were skeptical. They were surprised that I had been able to convince the hospital's administration to spend a significant amount of money on such a folly. But, in my headlong pursuit of "greatness," I was confident that it would all work in the end somehow. I pressed on with completion of documents for construction, at times ignoring concerns brought to my attention by other more experienced design professionals. I wasn't interested in hearing what these "naysayer" colleagues had to say. Rather, I was preoccupied with dreams about how it would all turn out. How great it would be to photograph the results when complete. How proud I would be of my accomplishment.

About two years or so later when construction and installation for the roof garden was finished, Voila! My design was in fact cool! Everyone seemed to love how it all looked. I received numerous congratulatory comments on the design and adulation for coming up with the idea and seemingly progressive uses of common materials, in ways that were unique for roof gardens at that time. All was good.

Fast forward another two years. I received an unsolicited and rather excited phone call from my client. "Hey, Mr. Architect. What are YOU going to do about all these crumbling pots on our roof?"

Over the course of two winters, the realities of the elements (freezing and thawing) had ravaged my design. Almost all of the clay pots had crumbled in place. What was once considered a great triumph for me became a huge embarrassment and costly mistake. I had not done my homework. I had not researched the givens and realities of my design. Something that I thought would be a path to greatness (and cool) was now putting me (and my company) in a terrible position. We had a very unhappy client. I was ultimately responsible for creating something that didn't work. I was to blame and I had to own it.

So, what are some of the lessons I learned from this story of crumbling pots? Here's a few:

1. If young and inexperienced, use caution before proceeding with unique, innovative ideas. The "standard approach" may be there for a reason. Perhaps it has been tried/tested and proven it works. That's why it's now the standard approach.

2. It's great to have a desire for doing something really cool. Steps away from conventional thinking are appropriate on occasion. However, some realities and truths are just unchangeable and not to be trifled with. They need to be acknowledged and studied before proceeding.

3. If you are confronted with restrictions that seem to limit you, don't dismiss them outright. Ask questions about why they are there. Find out why they were created. Ask if the restriction applies to your situation before proceeding. Think more long-term.

4. If you are receiving accolades from your peers, be careful. Sometimes they can cause you to ignore advice from the more experienced/wiser people around you. Listen to concerns of others and criticisms of your work. They might be much more helpful to you than all the accolades in the long run.

5. Dreams are great. They really are. But, the realities of life must be evaluated along with your dreams. Dreams can oftentimes turn into nightmares if you don't consider realities.

The good news is that I did not lose my job and our company was not sued. However, I never forgot the lessons I learned about life from these crumbling pots. 

A High Price for Freedom

This morning (4th of July, 2011) I woke up to a very precious reality. I am twice a free man.

First, thanks to those who have bravely gone before me to defend my individual liberties, I am privileged to be an American citizen living in a free country. God bless the USA! Second, because I am a Christian (having accepted God's free gift of salvation through the precious blood of Jesus Christ), I also enjoy and experience the joy and promise of being forever spiritually free. Praise God for that as well!

I am truly celebrating today because of a high price for freedom paid for me by others.

Thank God for our Founding Fathers and many brave souls who took their stands for freedom, and then declared independence from the ugly tyranny of a remote English monarchy 235 years ago! Thank God for the first century Church (several of them martyred), who carried the Gospel of Christ to all the world, declaring freedom from the tyranny of sin and telling people everywhere that they no longer needed to be separated from God!

But, if history teaches us anything, it teaches us that precious freedoms (both political and spiritual) should not be taken for granted. What we enjoy today may not be there tomorrow if we don't fight to keep it. There are enemies out there trying to steal yours and my freedoms each and every day of our lives. We must do all that we can to actively protect them because there is a high price for freedom.

The words attributed to one of the founders of our nation, Patrick Henry, as well as those penned by the Apostle Paul in a letter to first century Galatian Christians, seemed particularly relevant to me at this point:

"Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, Give me Liberty, or give me Death!" - Patrick Henry

"Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you." Galatians 5:1

Notice the references made to life and death, as well as "chains" and "slavery" in these quotes? In the founder's and the apostle's mind, the opposite of freedom was death and/or bondage and indentured servitude to either an overbearing dictator/monarchy, or to sin. In other words, without freedom, there is no life and no independence. Enemies will always attempt to place chains on you and me and/or attempt to entice you and me into the bondage of slavery. We need to daily take our stands against these undesirable conditions.

Yes, there is a high price for freedom for those of us who enjoy it. There is also an obligation on the part of both American citizens, as well as followers of Christ, to rise up and protect it, too. But, unfortunately many of us will rather use our precious independence and freedoms just to do whatever we want, thus destroying them. Shame on us when that is what we do.

Once again, the words penned by the Apostle Paul to the first century Galatian Christians seemed very appropriate for me to read/hear this morning:

"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?" Galatians 5:13-15

May we all take these words to heart as we celebrate the 4th of July and/or our freedom in Christ, remembering that there is a high price for freedom.

He still holds her hand...

I just returned from a quick get-away trip with my wife, Ellen, to Sun City, Arizona. We were there visiting my parents for a couple of days. They live at this oasis "in the desert" from November through March to get away from the bitter cold and endless piles of snow in Iowa during these months. My Mom just turned 83 on January 7th (praise the Lord), so we were doing a bit of a belated birthday celebration for her. Plus, selfishly for Ellen and me, it's just a really great place to visit. Mom and Dad's home is right on the Union Hills golf course. Thus, the view out their back door (and from their patio) is beautiful, gazing over lush green grass to a small lake with fountains, with picturesque Arizona mountains off in the distance. We were blessed with some fantastic weather while we were there, too. Loved it!

But, aside from the setting, I just have to brag on my Dad.

Over the three days we were there, we went out for breakfast, lunch and dinner several times. We also did some miscellaneous shopping and ran a few errands. Consequently, there was a lot of getting in and out of their car, and a bunch of walking to and from their car to the restaurants/stores we visited. While we were doing that, I couldn't help but notice over and over again that after 62+ years of marriage, he still holds her hand...

Wow. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful that is to see my Dad holding my Mom's hand. I really want to be like my Dad when I grow up.

He loves my Mom so much! He takes really great care of her, too. Mom has Parkinson's disease and it is begining to slow her down a bit more and more every year. She's not as steady on her feet as she once was. She gets a little bit flustered/confused at times because she is not as smooth in doing the things she used to do so effortlessly. But, there's my Dad, giving her a steady hand, and telling her by his actions and loving touch that he'll take good care of her. That she doesn't need to worry about a thing. That he's going to take care of her and protect her no matter what.

What's really cool is that Dad would be doing this even if she didn't have Parkinson's. She's his wife, and that's what a loving husband does for his wife. He gives her a hand. He tells her with his actions and loving touches that he'll take good care of her. A husband's desire is to convince his wife that she doesn't need to worry about a thing. He will take care of her no matter what.

Lately, Ellen and I have been caught "holding hands" on our way in to church, or in a few other relatively public situations/events. People have remarked that we are "cute" to do that and that it seems like we are really in love with each other.

I love holding my wife's hand. We are in love with each other. In my way of thinking, that's what married people are supposed to do. Why is it that a husband holding his wife's hand seems so unusual these days? Whatever happened to romance and chivalry?

I want to honor my Dad's love for his wife (my Mom) with this post. I want to declare to everyone reading this (especially family members) that this is what I plan to do. I hope to continue to follow my Dad's example for many, many years to come. Someday, I want my sons (and daughter) to remark when we have been married as long as my parents (hopefully!), he still holds her hand...

Sometimes it is the little things, the simpler things, that are most important in this life.

Thanks for giving me such a great example/model to follow, Dad! I love you.

Dragged, kicking and screaming...

I've heard it said that a child's personality (and a lot about how that child will respond to certain situations as an adult) is already evident at age 5 or 6. Kind of makes you realize how critically important those first few years of a child's life are, doesn't it?

I am so grateful to God for my Mom being there to shape my personality and guide my development at an early age. Likewise, I am so glad that my wife, Ellen, was there to actively influence the personalities of our four children in their early years.

(In my humble opinion, the ideal situation for a child is for their mother and father to be the ones to perform this all-important task. It is that critical to their adult life!)

Just the other day, a vivid childhood memory popped into my consciousness. It made me realize that a dominant part of my personality, as well as how I frequently respond to certain life situations as an adult, is probably wrapped up in this early childhood experience.

It was the first day of kindergarten in Ellsworth, Iowa, probably the fall of 1959. My family lived on a farm about three miles outside of this small town of 400+ people. To attend school, I would need to take the bus into town. It must have been a late-morning session of kindergarten as I don't remember my two older sisters being a part of this story. They were probably already at school when this took place.

I have this mental picture in my head of my Mom "escorting" me down the end of our long lane to catch the bus. Actually, I was being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way! It must have been terribly embarrassing and upsetting for my Mom. You see, at four years old (I wouldn't turn 5 for another month) I just wasn't too sure about this whole going to school thing. I wasn't excited about it at all! I kind of liked being safely at home during the day with my Mom. What was she doing, making me go to school, for goodness sake? So, I decided to fight the inevitable.

In spite of being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way down the lane, Mom won the battle. She placed me on that bus, let the bus driver close the door, and off to kindergarten I went. I must have liked it, too, as I don't remember her having to force me to go to kindergarten ever again. Apparently, once I got on that bus, I was O.K. Whatever I had feared so much before hand, didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought after all.

But, I couldn't have been convinced of that when I was being dragged, kicking and screaming down our lane. I was genuinely freaked out!

Fast forward to today.

I still get a little freaked out by new things. I will frequently dread a new adventure and/or resist a change in venue/responsibilities. It's as though I'm reverting back to being dragged, kicking and screaming down that lane outside of Ellsworth, Iowa.

Even 50+ years later, there are remnants of that part of my personality showing up. Fascinating!

Likewise, once I "get on the bus" so to speak, I usually do O.K. with the new adventures or change in venue/responsibilities. I am reflecting back now on a whole lifetime of initial reluctance to lead, of timidness when it comes to participating in big events, and of massive squirming when asked to take on new tasks/responsibilities, etc.

So what? Why is this even worth writing down (or being read?)? I guess here's what I'm learning about myself through this experience:

- My personality was somewhat settled at an early age in life. That's not an excuse; it's just fact.
- I am who I am based on some of the experiences I had early in life. That's really O.K.
- I should not try to be someone I'm not. Others can seeminly tackle the big stuff and keep begging for more. Others can get frustrated when new adventures and added responsibilities don't come fast enough. Not me. That's just not who I am.
- Sometimes I am required to press on past my fears and hang-ups. Sometimes I just need to take on those new adventures and challenging responsibilities. I must get over my initial reluctance. I just need to buck it up and do it!
- It is always a good idea to ask myself before stepping in to something new, "What's the worst thing that could happen here anyway?"

If you find yourself sometimes being dragged, kicking and screaming into new adventures and/or situations that freak you out, take a hint from me. Just relax. It probably won't be as bad as you think.

Resolutions

I'm normally not one for making New Year's resolutions...

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for setting achievable goals and striving for improvement in my life.

As a matter of fact, I've already tried to eat better/more healthy since the first of the year. I've already tried to do more reading and reflection to begin and end my days. And, I've already been to the local recreation center to work out/exercise three times in 2011 (which is probably two more times than I did all of last year!). Ugh!

But, really? Do resolutions work?

During a time of reading and reflection one morning this week, I rediscovered a terrific example of some resolutions, and decided to make them mine for 2011. Here they are:

One - Remember every day of 2011 that there is only one God. As a follower of Christ, there just aren't any others. Only one.

Two - Avoid making anything else (man-made or natural) competition for God in my life. Remember every day of 2011 that God wants/deserves my devotion and worship. Don't give what belongs to Him to anything/anyone else.

Three - Resist using God's name in an inappropriate way. Remember throughout 2011 that God's name is holy. That speaking curses (and/or coarse words) is just plain wrong for a follower of Christ.

Four - Dedicate at least one day every week completely to God. Keep that day really special, just for Him! Remember throughout all of 2011 that there will always be more work, important errands and an endless list of tasks to do. As a Christ follower, I need to give one day a week over to God and rest.

Five - Look for ways to respect/love my parents more in 2011. They are not to be more highly regarded than God; no family member deserves more respect/love than God. But, God is pleased when I honor my father and my mother with simple acts of kindness and special favor.

Six - Refrain from killing in 2011. That includes killing with words, killing with looks/glances, and killing with hands, etc. Love other people and speak well of them. Denegrading or bad-mouthing or hurting others is just plain wrong for followers of Christ.

Seven - Go overboard in love for my spouse so that I won't even be tempted to cheat with anyone else. Remember throughout 2011 that God is the one who created marriage, that wonderful relationship between one man and one woman. He expects me to be faithful to the incredible gift of "oneness" He's given to me.

Eight - Resist all temptations to take from others. This includes big and small things. As a follower of Christ, there should not even be a hint or a suggestion of dishonesty when it comes to other people's money or possessions.

Nine - At all times, speak truth about my family, friends and everyone else. If you really don't know all the facts about a situation (and you never will), keep your mouth shut. Don't say unkind things about others. Ever. Words hurt and careless, not well thought out phrases are deadly. All truth in 2011!

Ten - Be content with what I have and refrain from desiring more and more of what someone else has. As a Christ follower, thank God everyday in 2011 for how He's abundantly blessed me and marvel at His goodness in all the things He's allowed me to possess.

Well, those are my resolutions for 2011.

By now, some of you are probably saying, "Wait a minute! Haven't I heard those ten somewhere before?" Yup. You have.

See Exodus 20:2-17 for the original version.

Even though I know I'm not going to be able to keep all of these resolutions in 2011 (because by myself, I just can't), I am asking God to work in me and allow me to make some headway towards these lofty goals and needed improvements in my life.

How about you? What are your resolutions for 2011?

Thanksgiving All Year Long!

Thanksgiving is one of my all-time favorite holidays! I absolutely love spending extra time away from work with my family and friends, as well as enjoying all the delicious foods of this magnificent time of the year! Yum-yum!

But, why do we sometimes relegate thanksgiving to just one day a year? I know that the American version of Thanksgiving originates from the feasts enjoyed by the Pilgrims in Plymouth, Massachusetts, around 1621 or so. They had a bountiful harvest and wanted to celebrate God's goodness to them for it. But, they were simply expressing their gratitude spontaneously and following a pattern of thanksgiving demonstrated by our ancestors down through the ages. There have probably been large thanksgiving feasts around since the beginning of time.

After having such a rich and meaningful Thanksgiving Day yesterday, I believe that we should celebrate thanksgiving all year long! So, in the interest of trying to help all of us do this, I've chosen a "who, what, where, when, why and how" format for your consideration.

Who
First and foremost, God is the One who should be thanked. He is the One who is to be praised, not only for who He is, but also for all He's done (Psalm 100:4). Let your thanksgiving be an intentional act of worship to God all year long!

What
Our thanksgiving should be a constant celebration. It should be an all-out dedication on our part to continual gratefulness. We can express our thanksgiving to God with words (prayers), with songs/singing (praise and worship tunes or hymns), and with a truly authentic gladness of heart for all that God has done all year long!

Where
The great thing about thanksgiving is that you can be grateful to God anywhere and everywhere! You can express your gratitude by yourself, or in a group, or in your church, or in your office, in your car, inside your home or outside your home, too. There are no limitations to where you have to be in order to give thanks to God. All year long you can tell Him how grateful you are no matter where you are at the time.

When
We can experience thanksgiving all the time. Every day of the year. And when we express our thanksgiving, frequently it will be completely involuntary. We won't even know when it is coming. It will be an immediate response to an event/experience in our life (if we let it). Our thanksgiving can and will be contagious and spontaneous, causing others to also give thanks all year long, too!

Why
Thanksgiving usually brings an abundance of peace to us personally, and furthermore contributes to peace for those around us as well (Jeremiah 30:19, II Corinthians 4:15 & 9:11, Ephesians 5:4). We should not be holding back when we are grateful. We should give it all to God because He is so worthy and deserves all of our praise and thanksgiving all year long!

How
Through prayer (I Timothy 2:1). By voicing our gratefulness to others. Through physical acts and dances for joy. By singing and making joyful noises unto the Lord (Psalm 69:30 & 95:2). Through demonstrating to others ways to be grateful. By involuntary expressions of thanksgiving in all circumstances, no matter what they may be (Philippians 4:6, I Timothy 4:4). And through setting an example of thankfulness in our own lives all year long.

So, while you are still enjoying the afterglow of yesterday's glorious Thanksgiving Day celebration with family/friends and great food, why not make a bold commitment to truly celebrate thanksgiving all year long this upcoming year? Or maybe even for the rest of your life?

Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh Out Loud About Life

I'm usually a pretty serious guy. Just ask my wife, Ellen, and/or my family about that! I'll admit that I have frequently used this blog for "getting on my soapbox" about a lot of things that are going on in this world. Usually I write about things that appear to be going bad or wrong out there. And, there certainly are a lot of things that trouble me and cause me to get serious sometimes. But...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

It was just a couple of days ago on Friday, sometime in the mid-afternoon. I had just received an e-mail at work that hit me kind of funny. So, I decided to forward it on to a couple of people I really love, who I thought might be amused by it as well. As fate would have it, the forwarded e-mail ended up triggering some persistent giggles on the part of at least one of the loved ones who received my forward. Then she called me. At the office, mind you! Well, my apologies to anyone who happened to be sitting around me at work that afternoon, particularly if they were trying to get something done on a Friday afternoon. In a truly serendipitous moment, we both absolutely lost it on the phone! Once the laughter started, it began to snowball even further, to the point of being just a little bit ridiculous! Tears flowed. Knees were slapped. Hilarity became contagious. And finally, I ended up saying, "Stop! Stop!" as I gasped for my next breath. It was a really, really big surprise to both of us! Not what either of us was expecting when the call commenced.

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

Earlier in the week, I received a series of e-mails about a particular subject from family members, including the one who caused me to get completely out of control on the phone on Friday. For some unknown reason, a little birdie inside of me said, "Oh, go ahead! Have some fun with this why don't you?" So, relatively uncharacteristically of me, I did have fun with it. Probably fooled a lot of my family members who don't normally see me pulling pranks or laughing that much or hearing jokes emanating from my mouth. But, I just couldn't resist! I couldn't pass up the opportunity to smile, giggle, and/or laugh to myself. Maybe the stresses of life have been taking their toll on me lately? Maybe it was time for me to just have some fun and relax a bit? Chill out about things happening in my life? I don't know exactly what was going on, but...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

Many, many years ago, I remember experiencing totally uncontrollable laughter unexpectedly with my Mom. Neither of us are particularly funny people, as a rule. But, in this particular instance, we were over-the-top ourageous in our laughter. We just could not stop no matter what we did. It was another tears flowing, knees slapping, unending hilarity, gasping for a breath moment. Too funny! What made it even funnier was that my Dad was there, but he wasn't getting what we were laughing at. The more my Mom and I laughed, the more my Dad appeared to become completely disgusted with the two of us. It was a completely infectious moment for my Mom and me. We literally could not help ourselves. I am beginning to giggle just thinking about it! Have you ever had one of those moments (kind of like the "I love to laugh" scene in the movie Mary Poppins)? If so, cherish the memory! Remember moments like that when life gets hard and when things don't seem to be going the way you want them to go. Let it go because...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

It says in Proverbs 17:22 that "A joyful heart is good medicine." Also, I believe it was author and humorist Erma Bombeck who once said (after she found out she had terminal cancer) that if she had it to do all over again, she'd laugh more. Good advice! Let's all laugh more!

So, for today - nothing serious, nothing dire, nothing too spiritual or intellectual or political. I'll save all that for some other blog, some other week. Rather, for today...

Sometimes you just gotta laugh out loud about life.

Got a good laughter story to share? I'd love to hear it. :-) Oh, and did you heard the one about...

It is not good for the man to be alone...

I'm alone in our house right now. My wife and youngest son are in Oregon visiting family/friends. I stayed home alone.

Truth be told, I was really looking forward to doing this alone thing. I always do. I always say to myself when I know that I will be alone and have the house to myself, "You can do this, you can do that. You can get all those things done that you're always wanting to do." I fool myself into thinking that I will be able to read books/magazines uninterrupted. That I will be able to set my own schedule for everything I do. That I will not have to worry about the schedule/activities of anyone else. Who am I kidding?

It is not good for the man to be alone.

God had it right when He spoke these words recorded in Genesis 2. Even though we are basically selfish creatures, frequently more self-focused/self-centered than we should be, we really do need each other. We need other people.

When I am alone (like my current situation), it seems my self-focus/self-centeredness increases. Not only that, I begin to almost resent other people who innocently invade my aloneness. When we are alone, generally not a lot of good happens. When we allow our self-focus/self-centeredness to increase, we can forget the value of other people in our lives and how much we really need them.

This past week, a friend of mine, Herrick, a friend I've known for over thirty years, lost his sweet wife, Mary. She finally succumbed to the ravages of a terrible disease that complicated and compromised her life the past several years. I ache for Herrick right now. He is alone in the home he shared with Mary for almost 50 years. Now, of course, for the time being, he does have people in his house - his children and their families, his friends, his neighbors, people from his church, etc. But, someday soon, he will have to face the fact that he is now all alone in that house. And, I am certain that when that happens, he will agree with God that, "It is not good for the man to be alone."

I don't think it is a coincidence that my circumstances of being alone are juxtaposed with my friend Herrick's being alone. I believe that God allowed this to teach me some very important lessons. It's not a mistake that I am seeing this being alone experience in fresh, new ways right now. My perspective on being alone is changing.

Am I saying that you should ALWAYS be around other people and never have a moment to yourself? No. I'm just saying that we all need to be careful when we are in the circumstance of being alone. Careful that we don't allow the self-focus/self-centeredness we all struggle with to deepen/grow. Rather, we need to turn this alone time into opportunities to bless other people. Here's a few things I might try to do the next several days while I am alone:

- I can pray for my wife and son, that they will have a wonderful time with family/friends.
- I can pray for my friend, Herrick, and his family; that God will comfort them as they mourn.
- I can write to my friend, Herrick, encouraging him in his time of need by telling him how much I loved his Mary, and remind him of all the wonderful ways the two of them lived life to the fullest.
- I can ask some neighbors out for lunch (as I did today), telling them with both my words and actions how much they mean to us as neighbors and how blessed we are to be living next to them.
- I can call some people I don't normally take the time to call and surprise them with that.

Well, I think you get the idea.

It is not good for the man to be alone. Seize the opportunity when you are alone the next time to think about the needs of someone else, not just your own. And then act on those thoughts. You probably won't regret it.

Now, off to that book I was going to read...

Who Moved the Furniture?

My wife and I recently "rearranged" the living room in our house (even if ever so slightly) in anticipation of having some out-of-town guests/family come for a short visit this coming week. We wanted to make our living room a little bit easier for entertaining both in-town and out-of-town guests/family. We also wanted to make the room better for television/movie watching when there are only three of us here doing that.

Anyway, for several days after we did the rearranging, each time I passed through the living room, I thought to myself, "Who moved the furniture?"

Isn't it funny how accustomed and comfortable we can get to things being a certain way in life (even down to the arrangement of furniture in rooms in our houses)? And then, someone or something changes (even if only in a small or insignificant way) and we exclaim to ourselves, "Who moved the furniture?"

The older I get, the more I seem to notice changes, even small ones.

I have found that there is comfort in things being and/or staying somewhat predictable in life. There is comfort in not having to re-think everything each and every day we live. As a matter of fact, it can be downright uncomfortable when you have to adapt to change after change after change after change. Why don't we just leave things the way they are? Why do we have to continually change things?

Well, I've also come to realize that change is just a part of life. Get over it!

As much as I'd like to lock down on somethings and declare them to be totally unchangeable from this point forward, I need to be careful. An attitude like that only leads to unhealthy rigidity, potential alienation of people in my life and maybe even a bad case of ugly legalism. Taken to an even greater extreme, an unwillingness to accept and respond to change leads to a lot of other not so great attributes, too.

On the other hand, there are some things that are worth locking down on and declaring to be totally unchangeable. And that's really O.K., too. Living your life in constant state of change (oftentimes just for the sake of resisting permanence and/or stability) is no more virtuous than living your life unwilling to change. As with a lot of other things in life, the trick is trying to find a healthy balance between constant change and an unwillingness to change at all.

Recently, I traveled to the place where I grew up in Iowa. We visited several family members there. In a lot of ways it seemed to me that not a lot had changed since I was living there 40-50 years ago. I didn't know how I felt about that. Why hadn't this place and the people changed more? What was wrong with them? And then I said to myself that the fact that not a lot had changed was also very good. There were (and are) a lot of things in Iowa that shouldn't change. I realized that even though I had changed a lot from where I was 40-50 years ago, a lot of things also had not changed and that was equally good.

Balancing change, adapting to changes without compromising, and sorting out what really matters in life is key when it comes to change. Wish I had the fine art of it mastered, but I don't. I probably still resist change in a lot of areas, and then am way too prone to change when change is not necessary at all.

So, here's my challenge to all of you reading this. The next time you notice a change, and either remark to yourself, "Who moved the furniture?" and resist it with all your mind, soul and strength or accept the change way too quickly without fully evaluating all the ramifications, I would encourage you to ask yourself the following questions, long before passing final judgment on the change:

- Am I reacting poorly to this change because I am hopelessly stuck and unwilling to adapt to something new and different?

- Am I becoming too rigid and "out-of-touch" with the world I am living in because I resist changes like this so vehemently?

- What did I abandon and/or give-up by accepting this change? In the grand scheme of things, was that abandonment and/or compromised principle worth giving up?

- Is the change I am now facing a change just for change sake? Am I way too prone to make the change just because it is a "popular" thing to do?

- Is the change I am accepting causing me to forget where I've come from and all that was invested in me in the past?

Who moved the furniture?

Less of Me

Day-in, day-out, this life sure can have its share of struggles. And some of those struggles usually are with the people we know and love best of all. Why is it that relationships are so hard sometimes?

Don't get me wrong. When it comes to relationships, I am blessed way beyond imagination! And, I am very, very grateful to God for each and every relationship He's given me. I am blessed by all the people God has placed in my life. Well, almost all the people (smile)...

So, why is it that we sometimes struggle with relationships in this life, especially when most of us are so blessed by all the people we know and love?

I believe the answer to that question is selfishness.

We are all selfish creatures. So, when it comes to our relationships, we want our own way. We'll get along with the other people God has placed in our lives (at work, at church, at school and maybe even in our own homes/families?) as long as they do just what we want them to do. Sound familiar?

Too often, many of us adopt a "my way or the highway" attitude when it comes to our closest relationships. As long as the other person agrees with me and what I think, then we'll get along. However, if they have another idea about a subject and I don't like it, well...

I love it when the lyrics of certain songs provide just the answers we need for the struggles we encounter in this life. I'm sure that all of us have at some time heard a song and immediately it touches our heart. Then, as often times happens, many, many years later those same lyrics are still stuck in your head reminding you of something that touched your heart long ago.

As I was thinking about writing this blog today and consequently mulling over the various events of the past week (which is what I do to get inspired for these blogs each week), one song kept popping into my head. It seemed to be just what I needed to hear again for the struggles I was experiencing with the various relationships in my life.

The name of the song is "Less of Me."

I first remember hearing this song back in 1978-79 at Dundee Presbyterian Church - Omaha, Nebraska. It was a Camp Sunday song that the high school students shared upon returning from their weeklong summer camp. The song really struck a chord (pun intended) with me, especially concerning my specific problem with selfishness. There have been many times over the past 30 years where I've had the lyrics to this song pop into my head, usually when I am in the midst of some struggle with a relationship and don't know what to do. The lyrics go like this:

Let me be a little kinder
Let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those around me
Let me praise a little more

Let me be when I am weary
Just a little bit more cheery
Think a little more of others
And a little less of me

Let me be a little braver
When temptation bids me waiver
Let me strive a little harder
To be all that I should be

Let me be a little meeker
With a brother that is weaker
Let me think more of my neighbor
And a little less of me

Struggles with relationships in this life? Try the less of me approach. It has helped me...

Giving an Acceptance Speech

Today is Father's Day. And, since I have the happy, joyful, wonderful privilege of being a Dad, I've been thinking a lot about that the past few days...

What kept coming to mind as Father's Day approached was giving an acceptance speech. You know, kind of like they do at the Oscars and/or any other annual awards program? When the person who gets the award gets up there and says: "I'd like to thank..."

Well, here's what I'd say today in giving an acceptance speech for being a father.

First, I'd like to thank my God (heavenly Father) for giving me life and breath, and for providing His grace and salvation (eternal life) through Jesus Christ, my Lord. He gave me the most important gift I'll ever receive in this life! He saved me when I was lost. Thank you!

Next, I'd like to thank my Dad (earthly father) for marrying my Mom, and for bringing me into this world so many years ago. He loved me through so many tough times, and still loves me very much even to this day. I'm his only son and he has always been proud of me. He taught me to work and work hard, and always to do my best. Thank you, Dad!

I'd like to thank my loving and faithful wife, Ellen, who has always stood by me, supporting me in countless and incredible ways. She loved me enough (and still does!) to carry all four of our children to birth, thus giving me the fantastic privilege of being a Dad! She has stood by me - day in, day out - for almost thirty years, working very hard to make sure our house is a "home," and faithfully teach our children alongside me. Thank you, sweetie!

I'd like to thank my son, Andy, who always challenges me to consider "dreaming bigger, " reaching for whatever opportunities/goals are next. He's advised me with an unusual boldness when I really needed it, and called me up to places I still feel like I don't belong (largely due to periodic, misguided feelings of inadequacy/unworthiness, as well as times of very low self esteem). Thanks, Andy!

I'd like to thank my daughter, Katie, who always makes me feel so special, as though she's really glad to see me/be with me! She's helped me understand (just as her Mom has attempted to do for many years) that this life should be fun and lived to the fullest. She's also encouraged me to not take myself so seriously (which I need to be reminded of a lot!). She is an incredibly talented, resourceful and beautiful young lady! Brave, too. Thanks, Katie!

I'd like to thank my son, Peter, who so confidently accepts every stage of his life, and then makes it look so easy to be who he is (and do all that he does). He always calls me up to even higher levels of integrity, discipline and faithfulness, probably without even knowing that he is doing that. He's continually demonstrated extreme loyalty to his immediate family, as well as uncommon selflessness to long-time friends. Thanks, Peter!

I'd like to thank my son, Nathan, who always makes me smile, and causes me to laugh at so many things that are funny in life. He's proved himself to be a valuable friend to many, including his siblings! He provides his mother and me the delight of offering a place for his teenage friends to hangout and have fun. He has an uncanny sense for distinguishing right from wrong. He's brought a lot of joy to me over the years. Thanks, Nathan!

I'd like to thank Annie and Kristen, two chosen women who have truly captivated the hearts of my older sons, Andy and Peter. Thank you for being faithful to them, and for providing the companionship that they will need for this life. Thank you for allowing me, at times, to be another "father" to each of you. Thanks, Annie and Kristen!

Finally, I'd like to thank all those who have played strategic parts in helping me learn more about being a godly father, and then calling me up to that challenging task. I'm talking about the pastors, teachers, friends, family members and other acquaintenances/authors who have offered advice and loving instruction when I needed it most. Thank you all for caring enough to make yourselves available to me (and to my children) when "just me" alone would not have been enough. The responsibility of being a father is not something to be taken lightly, not for the faint of heart and not to be accomplished all on your own. No one is completely adequate for the task in and of themselves alone. It takes the wisdom and assistance of many to do it well.

So, if I were giving an acceptance speech for "fatherhood," that is what I'd say. I am a very blessed man today...

The 10 Cannots of William J. H. Boetcker

I ran across some great words in my readings this past week. I don't exactly remember where I read them. But, I thought they were too good not to share them in this blog.

I was originally led to believe that these words were written/spoken by Abraham Lincoln. Upon doing more research, however, I discovered otherwise.

The great words I'm referring to are called The 10 Cannots of William J. H. Boetcker, originally published in 1916, and they read like this:


You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
You cannot help little men by tearing down big men.
You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money.
You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than you earn.
You cannot build character and courage by destroying men's initiative and independence.
You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.


94 years later these words are still very powerful (and also very true!). God bless William J. H. Boetcker for writing them down.

I'm going to remember these 10 Cannots for a long time to come. Too bad these great words aren't "required reading" for all citizens of the United States of America today. We could really use wisdom like this again in our civic/political arena...

Relationships That Matter

Contrary to the unprecedented popularity of several new social media types (including Facebook), there are only a few relationships that matter in this world.

I mean really. Can any one of us really have several hundred "friends" all at the same time? I think not. Consequently, these days my heart yearns for a few relationships that matter. Not dozens; just a few. But, I have found that it is easier said than done.

Take today for example. Today is my Dad's 82nd birthday. He lives in Iowa and I live in Texas. I spoke with him this morning by phone, but really wish I could be there with him in person today instead.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Not sure why I even wrote that here to him. He'll never read it. You see, my Dad does not have a personal computer, or a cell phone for that matter. He's never logged on to the Internet or sent/received an e-mail. Facebook is an absolute foreign concept to him. He wouldn't comprehend the concept of a Twitter "tweet" even if I tried to explain it to him. And yet, I still have a strong desire for a relationship that matters with him! How is that even possible when we live over 700 miles away from each other? Brief, weekly phone calls on Sunday afternoons just aren't enough for relationships that matter to flourish. There needs to be more, so much more. How I wish there was more in the relationship with my Dad.

I also think about other important people in my life. The people I love. The ones I really should have a relationship that matters with: Ellen; Andy, Annie, Katie, Peter, Kristen, and Nathan; my Mom; my sisters/brothers and their spouses/friends; my nephews/nieces; my close friends; a few co-workers; a few neighbors; a few people at church; etc.

Already, my list of people I really should have a relationship that matters with is up past 60 people. Plus, very few of those on my list live close by or are connected with me in a constant, regular sort of way.

Therefore, I have to ask myself, "Is it really even possible to have a relationship that matters with all of these people?"

I have a strong desire for a relationship that matters with each and every one, but I get terribly frustrated when it seems so hard to actually do! What's wrong with me anyway? Why does it appear that others are able to manage this part of life so well? Or, are they?

While pondering this dilemma, I was drawn to several verses in the Bible (Romans 7:18-20 to be exact). Here's what those verses say in the New American Standard version:

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But, if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me."

Not that I am a theologian or anything, but I think what these verses are saying is that when we have a strong desire to do what is right, but get frustrated when we can't do what we want to do and maybe even do the exact opposite of what we want to do, that means it's sin's fault. So, based on that, do I just get off easy then and say that it is an impossible task and just give up when it comes to relationships that matter? No.

I think there are several things I can learn from this whole experience concerning relationships that matter.

First, I need to stop trying to be more than I can really be to all the people/loved ones in my life. I need to better understand that I have a capacity for relationships, and also recognize that I probably will only be able to have relationships that matter with a few. And those few are probably going to be the ones who are either physically or genetically really close to me.

Second, it's discipline not desire that changes things. If I really desire a relationship that matters with someone close to me, then I am going to have to do something more than I am currently doing to make that happen. Just having the desire is not enough.

Third, I need to stop worrying about other people's expectations for me when it comes to relationships. I need to just enjoy the relationships I have and cherish those instead of spending all my time longing for some other relationship to get better. It would be a terrible thing to have no relationships that matter because of fussing over what was missing in so many of them.

I'm going to travel to Iowa with Ellen and Nathan to see my Dad in late June/early July. It will be wonderful to see him on the farm then. I'll have two to three days to demonstrate to him that his is a relationship that matters.

As they say in the Nike commercials, just do it!

Spiritual Lessons from a Colonoscopy

I had my first ever colonoscopy this past week. Oh boy! I was kind of dreading it, but in the end (pun intended), it wasn't all that bad. Plus, it gave me inspiration for this blog!

Through the whole process of scheduling it, anticipating it, preparing for it, and then actually going through it, I discovered that there are several spiritual lessons from a colonoscopy. So, what follows is my attempt to let you all in on what I learned from this not-so-pleasant medical procedure.

First, I learned that sometimes it's best to just do it! My family practice doctor had advised me during the past five years to get a colonoscopy. Only recently did I decide to do it. My doctor had my best health interests in mind when recommending this procedure. He wanted me to discover if there was something crappy (pun intended) in my body that could lead to unwanted health troubles. Our medical profession has universally determined that on or around your 50th birthday is the ideal time to get your first colonoscopy. I was about five years late.

So, what's the spiritual lesson here? Well, how often has someone with authority in your life (a parent, a pastor, a mentor, an older brother or sister, etc.) suggested that it's time to take care of something really important in your spiritual life and you have chosen to ignore them (even though you might suspect they are probably right)? How often has someone you admire advised you to do something so that you can avoid unwanted problems later in life, but you chose to completely disregard what they've said (at least for awhile)? Sometimes it's best to just do it. Listen to that authority in your life and do what they are telling you to do, knowing that they really do have your best interests at heart.

Second, I learned that it takes a great amount of concentration to completely clean out stuff that gets in the way of improved health. Before I could have a colonoscopy, I had to put my normal routine aside and get prepared for it. It's just not possible to make a spur-of-the-moment decision to have a colonscopy. There is quite a regimen to go through approximately 12-16 hours ahead of the actual procedure. Some might even call it drastic! But, medical experts have determined this to be the best way of getting accurate results and save them from a lot of mess (ew!) while doing the procedure.

So, what's the spiritual lesson here? If you really want to know what is going on in your spiritual life, you just can't discover that without concentrating on it for awhile, taking time to clean out stuff that has built up inside of you over time. For improved spiritual health, it requires both a good amount of time and focused concentration. You may even need to do something drastic (like a complete TV/media/cell phone fast and/or immersion into good reading material for a time). Don't fool yourself into thinking that improved spiritual health will happen without a lot of time and concentration. It won't.

Third, I learned that I needed to allow myself to trust others, as well as partner with someone through the process. When I went in for the colonoscopy, I had to pretty much entrust my life (at least temporarily) to several people I didn't even know. I had to trust that they were capable of doing what they were about to do and that they'd have my best interests at heart. I also needed to have someone there with me for the procedure so that when it was all done they could drive me home. The good news is that the place where I had the colonoscopy was very professional. They seemed to really know what they were doing. They were all extremely nice and seemed to be very accustomed to helping people like me through this process. They knew exactly how to make it as painless as possible for me (yay!). The other good news is that I had the wonderful blessing and companionship of my life partner, Ellen, there with me, praying for me throughout the whole experience (thanks, sweetie!). Praise God for that! I couldn't have done it without her!

So, what's the spiritual lesson here? We all are going to need to trust others for help once in awhile. We should not try to do everything independently, all by ourselves. Improved spiritual health frequently requires others who are highly skilled at helping people, coming alongside us for awhile to do what we really can't do for ourselves. But, we need to make sure they are people we can trust first. Once that trust has been established, then we need to let those professionals (pastors, counselors, church leaders, etc.) do what they are highly trained to do. It also helps a great deal to have a trusted partner alongside you in the process of spiritual health discovery and healing. They can give you perspective and help you when the professionals are done with their part. It really takes a team effort to improve your spiritual health. That's why local church fellowship and having other Christ followers in our life is so important.

Yes, there are a lot of spiritual lessons from a colonoscopy. Actually, there are a lot of spiritual lessons in other places in our daily lives, too. But, you have to be looking for them to discover them...

SQM vs. CED

Several years ago, I came across an unusual (but helpful) concept: SQM vs. CED. Unfortunately, I don't quite remember exactly where it came from. I don't quite remember who should receive the credit for it either. Sorry about that. But, I have carried this concept around with me for a long time, referring to it frequently over the past several years.

So what is SQM vs. CED, you ask? Good question. Let me try to explain.

As we go through this life, we have a choice. We can either Simplify, Quantify & Multiply things, or we can Confuse, Equivocate & Divide things. The choice is ours.

The implied correct answer is that we should all be more about SQM than CED. At least that is my humble opinion. That is also what I have attempted to do, both personally and professionally, and with relatively good success in the process. Let me explain how it works.

Sometimes if I break words/concepts like this down to their root meanings, it helps me better understand truth. For the exercise of explaining SQM vs. CED in this blog, I am even going back to Noah Webster's 1828 version of the American Dictionary of the English Language as I believe current editions of dictionaries have compromised true meanings of some words.

First let's look at the words for SQM and try to understand what this side of the equation is all about.

Simplify: To make simple; to reduce what is complex to greater simplicity; to make plain or easy.
Quantify: To determine, indicate, or express the quantity of; to make explicit the quantity of; to give quantity to.
Multiply: To increase in number; to make more by natural generation or production, or by addition.

Whenever possible, I like to make things really simple. Life is already complex enough. Why make it more so? Who doesn't like it when things are more plain or easy to understand? Wouldn't we all get along better if we attempted to simplify things versus make them all the more complex? Also, counting or quantifying things just helps each of us know where we stand on several levels. There is nothing more confusing than being held completely in the dark as to just what the score is for a particular situation! It is extremely hard to operate with that sort of ambiguity, both personally and professionally. Wouldn't it be better if we all attempted to count and quantify things instead of being content with ignorance of the actual numbers that affect things? Finally, when we multiply and increase numbers, good things usually happen. This is particularly true when it is by natural, conventional means. Growth is generally a good thing. Ever had a plant or a savings account or a stock that didn't grow? How happy were you with it after awhile? Not much, I'm sure.

Next, let's look at the words for CED and contrast them with the words we just looked at for SQM.

Confuse: To mix or blend things, so that they cannot be distinguished; to disorder; to perplex; to throw the mind into disorder.
Equivocate: To use words of a doubtful signification; to express one's opinions in terms which admit of different senses; to use ambiguous expressions.
Divide: To part or separate an entire thing; to cause to be separate; to make partition of; to disunite in opinion or interest.

Who likes it when it appears as though someone is trying to confuse you? When things that shouldn't be mixed or blended are? Who likes a constant state of disorder and/or being perplexed all the time? I have to be honest with you, I hate it when situations are just plain confusing! How about when words are ambiguous and/or the meaning of what is being spoken is doubtful? How about when opinions expressed seem to be completely contrary to our normal common senses? No thanks! Isn't it a lot better to be united versus being divided? How many of us really like it when things separate us? Not me!

So, now you know a bit more about SQM vs. CED. With that knowledge of this concept, what are you going to do about it going forward? May I suggest you consider the following:

1. Simplify, don't confuse things. If it is up to you and you have a choice in the matter, go simple.

2. Quantify, don't equivocate on things. Let's all count things and look for the common ground. Let's all stop the habit of continually changing the equation versus solving the one before us first.

3. Multiply, don't divide. What can you do to grow things? What can you do to unify? Look for those opportunities versus always focusing on what divides.

SQM vs. CED. Try it, I think you'll like it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Normally, I have a hard time with "Hallmark holidays." You know - the ones that really are just made-up/invented special days that businesses heavily promote so that they can sell lots of cards, gifts and such for them (or so it seems)? Like "Boss's Day," "Administrative Professionals' Day" (formerly known as Secretarys' Day), and even "Grandparents' Day," etc. Nice ideas, I guess, but really...

Unfortunately, Valentine's Day also falls into the category of being a "Hallmark holiday." But, I like it anyway. I mean, who of us doesn't need/want a day focused on love? Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends, love for your neighbors, etc. We all need love days, right?

So, Happy Valentine's Day to all of you whom I love!

But, where exactly did this "Hallmark holiday" come from anyway? And, how long have we actually been celebrating it? Do any of you even know who Valentine was?

According to Wikipedia (maybe not the most reliable source?), Valentine was an early Christian martyr. There may have actually been several of them over a period of years in the fourth and fifth centuries. Apparently, the martyrdom of these godly men named Valentine led to some pope declaring them qualified for sainthood - and thus Saint Valentine. That was a long, long time ago. Apparently, it wasn't until sometime in the fourteenth century that Saint Valentine became linked to what we all seem to think about St. Valentine's Day today - that is romance.

I have to be honest with you. I sat down to write on this blog today, fully intending to preach about something that I thought needed to be preached! I was loaded for bear, and ready to make some very bold statements about something that I felt needed to be said. But, before I got started preaching, I decided to read my sweet daugher-in-law's blog about one of the first dates she had with my son on Valentine's Day 2006. This completely changed my course. I had tears running down my cheeks as I finished reading what she wrote. Here's a link for you to read it also.

http://lettingyourlightshine.blogspot.com/2010/02/valentines-day-2006.html

Isn't that just wonderful?

So, you have been spared of my preaching and pontificating for today! What Kristen wrote in her blog about their date on Valentine's Day 2006, and the subsequent sweet, innocent, over-the-top romance she and Peter are still experiencing even to this day as husband and wife is much more important than anything else I could have written about today.

Thanks, Kristen and Peter, for being just who you are, and for demonstrating/living out such a beautiful image/picture of romance for us in 2010.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Family Dinners

Tonight, our immediate family (all 8 of us) will be having dinner together. I can't wait! We had dinner together last weekend also, that time celebrating the birthday of one of our members. This time it will be for the purpose of "sending-off" a couple of our members who are moving on to new and exciting adventures in NYC.

Family dinners. They're wonderful!

I'm becoming more and more convinced that if all families in this country had dinners together, a lot of our societal problems would disappear.

This thought was really driven home to me about 15+ years ago (and it may have even been longer?). My family and I were planning to have dinner at a restaurant after work. I invited a young, single co-worker of mine to join us in that dinner. It wasn't any big deal really. Just a lot of "carbs" and some Cokes at a kids pizza joint I think (like Chuckie Cheeses?). But, we were having dinner together and sharing with each other about the events of our days (work, school, things at home, etc.). In the midst of our meal, my co-worker suddenly stopped eating and began to just sit there and observe what was going on with our family. After a short while, I noticed that he wasn't eating anymore and asked him if everything was O.K. He told me that he was not sure when his family last had a meal together. He said that the norm for his family (a Mom, a Dad, and one brother) was to grab whatever his Mom fixed them to eat, and then each would go off to their own separate rooms and/or television sets to eat (maybe watching a TV program while they did). Apparently, they seldom if ever had family dinners together.

Unfortunately, I've lost touch with that co-worker, but the last time I heard from him, his family was split up and having lots of troubles. How sad...

So, what's the big deal about having dinner together as a family? What difference does it make anyway? Well, I think there are several reasons why it is still a good idea for families.

First, everyone in the family has to temporarily put aside their own agenda/schedule and make room for it. That's a great exercise in unselfish behavior. And for some, that's a real sacrifice. I don't know about you, but I need things like family dinners in my life to remind me that it's not all about me and my agenda/schedule.

Second, at our family dinners, we pray together. We pray before the meal and hold hands all around the table. And, when it is someone's special day (like a birthday or because of a big accomplishment/goal reached), we each have a chance to voice a short prayer for and about that special person as we go around the table. I love those times! There used to be a little saying that was popular that went something like this, "The family that prays together, stays together." I like that.

Third, when you personally participate in family dinners, you are somehow more willing to accept each other's differences, putting those differences aside (at least temporarily). At family dinners, everyone usually focuses on what brings us together, not what separates us. We all need occasions that help us to do that.

So, in my humble opinion, there is no better way to foster love and unity in a family than to spend unselfish time together at family dinners. By agreeing to do this and following the very simple "rules" for doing so (putting aside your agenda/schedule and accepting others lovingly for who they are, not what you wish they'd become), each family member is given a great opportunity to hear what is going on in others' lives, learn what others think about certain topics, and develop a much deeper appreciation for your family members than you would have if you'd skipped the dinner.

If you have an opportunity to experience dinner with all of your family, don't miss it! Don't take these precious times for granted either. I'm convinced that family dinners are what hold us together and keep us on track.

Praise God for family dinners.

Don't Drink the Kool-Aid?

Have you ever heard the expression, "Don't drink the Kool-Aid?" Where did that oft-used expression come from anyway? Even though I lived through that time and experience (I remember hearing about it on the news), I still had to do a little research (thanks to the Internet) to refresh my memory of the not so pleasant details.

About 31 years ago this month, an extremely charismatic and compelling leader named Jim Jones orchestrated the largest mass suicide ever of over 900 members of his People's Temple in Jonestown, Guyana, South America. He had become convinced that "committing an act of revolution suicide to protest the conditions of an inhumane world" was the only thing they could do. His twisted philosophies and totally unconventional ideas aligned with communism and socialism had failed him and the People's Temple at every turn along the way. They had been forced to move as a group several times - from Indiana to California, and then finally to Guyana, South America to escape the intense scrutiny of many who began to see how far off-base this group was becoming. Unfortunately, Jones still had enough influence and power over these 900+ people (including over 275 children) that the last act of the People's Temple was to obediently "drink the Kool-Aid" containing a sedative and cyanide poison. All because their charismatic leader told them to do so. They had completely put all their faith and trust in their leader, in spite of all his failed ideas and philosophies. He had garnered that much control over them. So much control that they were even willing to take their own lives (and the precious lives of their very own children).

Sadly, the People's Temple members were found by authorities several days later laying side by side, dead because they believed with their very lives in the strong, but terribly misguided urgings of their charismatic leader Jim Jones.

So what? Is there anything we can learn from this significant episode in our history? Well, here's a few of the take-aways I have from this event:

- Beware of extremely charismatic and compelling leaders. Listen to them carefully, but make sure to think before you follow any of their ideas.

- No matter how bad or inhumane the condition of this world gets, suicide is never the answer, no matter who it is that tells you it is.

- Twisted philosophies and unconventional ideas aligned with communism and socialism have never worked or turned out positively, no matter how lofty and well-meaning the original goal was of helping others.

- If the philosophies and ideas of a charismatic leader never achieve long-lasing success, thereby forcing that leader to "keep moving" and never land solidly anywhere, that ought to be a pretty good indicator of being on the wrong track.

- No charismatic leader should be given the power to convince you to turn off your brain and do something really stupid.

Be smart. Don't drink the Kool-Aid!