These are the words I spoke at my Mom's memorial service this afternoon:
The fifth of 10 commandments in the Bible says, “Honor your father and your mother…” That is what I hope to do in the next few minutes – honor Dad and Mom with these words.
After Mom died on the morning of June 16th, Dad, Roz, Debb and I spent time together over lunch talking about Mom. At one point it was asked, “What are the things that were truly Mom?” We began to reflect on that a bit, voicing things that came to mind. It was very therapeutic.
We will miss Mom terribly. But, we all have so many vivid memories of who she was that we’ll cherish for eternity. I decided to “alliterate” them (using the letter “L”), just to keep this more light, and to possibly make them easier to remember. So, here goes:
Lists (and Labor) – From as early as any of us can remember, Mom was a list-maker and a hard-worker. I don’t know if she made lists for Dad, but we kids sure had our share! That was Mom’s kind way of keeping us busy, teaching us to be diligent, and making sure we learned to accomplish tasks (and get things done). Roz mentioned something I’d forgotten. Sometimes Mom (who was a super-duper housekeeper) would put on our lists, “Pick up specks.” And we did!
Learning (and Listening) – Mom was a teacher at heart, quietly causing me and my sisters to learn in many ways. She wasn’t overbearing about it. Rather, she indirectly communicated to us that there was always more to learn. She wasn’t a big reader, but she listened and paid attention to everything that went on around her. We learned a lot about what was “proper” from Mom. I will be forever grateful to her for this.
Loving – When we were talking about Mom after she died, I mentioned that I was embarrassed at times about how much Mom loved me. When I would come to visit her and Dad, I truly felt uncomfortable at times at how she waited on me hand and foot. Roz and Debb tease me, saying that she loved me best. But, the truth is, I know that she loved others as much as she loved me, especially Dad! She had a tremendous capacity to love her husband, children, family and friends. Mom was a very loving woman.
Letters – More evidence of Mom’s exceptional love for me are boxes of hand-written letters in our attic in Texas, letters she wrote to me once I finished college and moved away. I am almost certain that I received nearly a letter-a-week from her for the first ten or fifteen years after leaving home following college. She wanted to stay in touch with her son (and my growing family)! She was so selfless about putting pen to paper, sharing her thoughts and life with me and Ellen and our kids. She also stayed in touch over the years with many others. This was her letter-writing ministry of love. What a great legacy! Too bad letter writing is almost a thing of the past these days.
Lovely – Mom was an attractive and very lovely woman all of her life. As my cousin, Ellen, said in an e-mail following Mom’s passing, “She was always well put-together and looked great!” Very true! Her skills as a hairstylist, and her love for art/design, propelled her to always put herself together well (and she helped Dad to look his best, too!). I really admired that about Mom. To this day, I think about my Mom as I get dressed for each and every day. What I learned from her was that appearances were not the most important thing, but being sloppily dressed/put-together wasn’t the way to be either. She was absolutely lovely.
Lashes – I hesitated to put this in here, but Mom started wearing false eyelashes some time along the way, and she wore them well. One of my favorite stories about Mom is that when our house on the farm was burning in 1976, she went back into the burning house to get two things – her eyelashes and the beauty shop appointment book! Typically, we might think that women who wear false eyelashes have a tendency to be vain, or are somewhat inauthentic. Not Mom. She made it a part of who she was and I loved that about her!
Laughter – Dad, Roz, Debb and I all remembered how Mom loved to laugh. She was always up for a good, clean joke. I remember a time when she and I actually embarrassed Dad out of the room. We were reading from a Norwegian Joke Book, and just got the giggles so bad, we couldn’t stop. Just when we thought we’d had enough, we’d say, “Oh, how about just one more!” And then we’d look into each other’s eyes and communicate, “Let’s just keep laughing like this forever, O.K.?” Mom absolutely loved to laugh, and to the end, we all loved to laugh with her.
Loyal (and Lowly) – Probably the most compelling trait that I will never, ever forget about my Mom was that she was loyal. She faithfully dedicated herself to being my Dad’s life-long helper/partner. No question about that! She was also absolutely loyal to those people/things she loved and believed in. In addition, she was okay with being lowly. Not that she was beneath anybody or anything. Rather, she just deferred to others all the time and whenever necessary without thinking anything about it. She had a true servant’s heart and noticeable Christ-like spirit about her. She did not need the spotlight to be on her. She actually shied away from it most of the time. Her goal was for others to receive the attention, not her. She never demanded attention for herself.
Lord – Finally, Mom knew Jesus as her Lord. She acknowledged her need for a Savior and accepted the free gift of salvation through Christ’s suffering sacrifice on the cross. She knew that living a good life was not enough, that she desperately needed God’s grace and unmerited favor. As a result of her personal relationship with Jesus Christ, believing that He came, He died, He rose and He now lives, she is actually with Him in glory for all eternity! Praise God for that promise and reality, available to each and every one of us.
In closing, I think I speak for all of my family in saying that we were so blessed to have known and loved such a wonderful woman! I will cherish the precious memories of times with my Mom as long as I shall live. Personally, I can’t wait for the day when I will be reunited with her in heaven! I’m sure we’ll laugh together and sing praises to God for all eternity. God bless the life and memory of Doris Ellwood.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
It's been over 363 days...
I've always told my kids, "You make time for what you think is important." So, when I look at this blog of mine and realize that it has been almost one year since I published my last post, what does that say? That this blog isn't important to me? I sure hope not.
I really love to write. And, I really love to share my thoughts on this blog. My "normal" time to write previously was Sunday afternoons. A glance at my personal calendar for the past 12 months reveals what I've been up to while not blogging. Not all of this was done on Sunday afternoons, mind you. But, most of this has contributed to the scarcity of my posts the past 363+ days.
TEXAS RANGERS BASEBALL - I think I've probably attended at least five or six games in person down in Arlington, watched nearly 150+ games on TV (can that be right?), and cheered wildly for this baseball team of mine during the 2011 World Series. I really love baseball (!) and blogging sometimes takes a backseat to it. Smile...
WORK/MY JOB - I think I've probably taken over thirty-two separate trips to all parts of the United States in the past year, totalling more than sixty-five nights away from home doing HDR business (at least). I developed a new vision for architecture marketing services at HDR, and then took over responsibility for same, including giving guidance/direction to +/- 60 people on a daily basis. I handed over the Design Excellence initiative I've been working on at HDR for over six years to a new leader. I moved my location in HDR's Dallas office to the 2nd floor, and had to drastically “down-size” all the stuff I had accumulated over many, many years there. I made over a dozen presentations to large groups of leaders, and led four two-day marketing training sessions in various cities. I recruited, interviewed and hired at least six new employees for our company. I started serving on the Management Team of HDR Architecture, Inc.
PERSONAL (Miscellaneous stuff, Prayers/E-Mails/Phone Calls/Texts/Tweets/Instagrams, etc.) - I got some new eyeglasses (really needed the upgrade!). Also shopped for and bought a new car (thanks to my Dad’s extreme generosity!). I made some new friends and prayed in earnest for my family, our church, my work, our country, etc. I probably received, acknowledged, read, answered and filed more than 13,000 e-mails (at least!), not to mention the 3,500 texts, tweets, and instagrams that also passed by my eyes. Who knows how many phone calls I answered and/or initiated over the past year (was it 15,000?).
LIFE GROUP/CHURCH/ELDER ACTIVITIES - I attended REFRESH classes at our church last summer, as well as the Global Leadership Summit (for the fifth year in a row!). I led and/or prepared Bible studies for more than twenty-five meetings of our Life Group (either on Sunday nights or on Wednesday nights with just the men). I attended more than twenty-five meetings with the elders of our church (at least). I wrote several pieces for our church's daily devotional - VERTICAL. We assisted a young Ukranian couple in getting adjusted to life in Dallas (and at DTS), as well as loaned our car to another Ukranian missionary couple for two weeks while they were here. I helped organize a weekend get-away to east Texas with the men from our Life Group and had a great time doing so.
FRIENDS/MENTEE MEETINGS - I believe I had more than twenty coffee/breakfast dates before work with friends/co-workers, and more than twenty-five dates for lunch with guys I consider my closest friends. I probably also had more than twenty-five lunches/dinners with mentees (younger people asking for me for advice, etc.).
HOUSE - We had the countertops/sink replaced in our kitchen and I touched up the paint afterwards. My son and I put new tile backsplashes in our kitchen. I replaced all the hardware and hinges for the cabinets in our kitchen cabinets, and then cleaned and polished them thoroughly. I fixed/repaired our lawnmower shed attached to the side of our house and then we had the entire house re-painted. We also replaced our front storm door and screens on several of the windows on our house. Did I mention the weekly mowing and trimming and edging required for our yard (which I absolutely LOVE to do)?
FAMILY - I played golf with my sons (and others) at least four or five times on Sunday afternoons. I made a washers set for one son on his 17th birthday. We hosted birthday dinners at our house for most of our family members. We traveled to Iowa to help my Dad & Mom get ready for their farm sale. We saw an ultra-sound of our first grandchild three months before she was born! I became a grandpa in November for the first time! I enjoyed numerous Skype dates with Andy in mornings before work, and was captivated by lots of breakfasts/lunches/dinners with other family members, too. I paid off the remaining balance for Katie’s college loans (and will do the same for Peter's hopefully next week). We hosted my Dad & Mom for a few nights in Texas on their way to their home in Arizona. We helped our daughter, Katie, move into a new apartment (twice), and then gave her support and a place of refuge in between apartments. I made five or six trips to visit my Mom in Arizona after her stroke in November. Ellen and I celebrated 31 years of marriage. I attended my Uncle Robert's funeral in Iowa between Christmas and New Year's Day, and then served a ton of pancakes and sausage, etc. to over a hundred people at our house on January 1st. I made two trips to NYC to visit Andy & Annie (including surprising Andy and Katie on their 30th and 28th birthdays). I got to babysit my one and only granddaughter, Brynlee, for the first time (more to come, I hope!). We graduated Nathan from high school and prepared ourselves to send him to Abilene Christian University in the fall. I organized and thoroughly enjoyed MOTEF 2012 with Andy, Peter and Nathan following graduation. We attended the weddings of three or four of our friends’ children. Sadly, I lost my dear Mom and spoke at her funeral. And then nine days later, I lost my Uncle Jimmy and missed going to his funeral in Iowa. Finally, I attended an Anderson family reunion in Colorado with Ellen, Katie and Nathan.
So, no wonder there hasn't been time to blog!
I'm not sure whether it will be another 363+ days before I blog again. But, putting this one together has reminded me of Jesus' words in John 10:10 where He said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." Thank you, Lord, for an abundant life! I am blessed beyond imagination, and I am also very grateful for the many blessings He has given me.
I really love to write. And, I really love to share my thoughts on this blog. My "normal" time to write previously was Sunday afternoons. A glance at my personal calendar for the past 12 months reveals what I've been up to while not blogging. Not all of this was done on Sunday afternoons, mind you. But, most of this has contributed to the scarcity of my posts the past 363+ days.
TEXAS RANGERS BASEBALL - I think I've probably attended at least five or six games in person down in Arlington, watched nearly 150+ games on TV (can that be right?), and cheered wildly for this baseball team of mine during the 2011 World Series. I really love baseball (!) and blogging sometimes takes a backseat to it. Smile...
WORK/MY JOB - I think I've probably taken over thirty-two separate trips to all parts of the United States in the past year, totalling more than sixty-five nights away from home doing HDR business (at least). I developed a new vision for architecture marketing services at HDR, and then took over responsibility for same, including giving guidance/direction to +/- 60 people on a daily basis. I handed over the Design Excellence initiative I've been working on at HDR for over six years to a new leader. I moved my location in HDR's Dallas office to the 2nd floor, and had to drastically “down-size” all the stuff I had accumulated over many, many years there. I made over a dozen presentations to large groups of leaders, and led four two-day marketing training sessions in various cities. I recruited, interviewed and hired at least six new employees for our company. I started serving on the Management Team of HDR Architecture, Inc.
PERSONAL (Miscellaneous stuff, Prayers/E-Mails/Phone Calls/Texts/Tweets/Instagrams, etc.) - I got some new eyeglasses (really needed the upgrade!). Also shopped for and bought a new car (thanks to my Dad’s extreme generosity!). I made some new friends and prayed in earnest for my family, our church, my work, our country, etc. I probably received, acknowledged, read, answered and filed more than 13,000 e-mails (at least!), not to mention the 3,500 texts, tweets, and instagrams that also passed by my eyes. Who knows how many phone calls I answered and/or initiated over the past year (was it 15,000?).
LIFE GROUP/CHURCH/ELDER ACTIVITIES - I attended REFRESH classes at our church last summer, as well as the Global Leadership Summit (for the fifth year in a row!). I led and/or prepared Bible studies for more than twenty-five meetings of our Life Group (either on Sunday nights or on Wednesday nights with just the men). I attended more than twenty-five meetings with the elders of our church (at least). I wrote several pieces for our church's daily devotional - VERTICAL. We assisted a young Ukranian couple in getting adjusted to life in Dallas (and at DTS), as well as loaned our car to another Ukranian missionary couple for two weeks while they were here. I helped organize a weekend get-away to east Texas with the men from our Life Group and had a great time doing so.
FRIENDS/MENTEE MEETINGS - I believe I had more than twenty coffee/breakfast dates before work with friends/co-workers, and more than twenty-five dates for lunch with guys I consider my closest friends. I probably also had more than twenty-five lunches/dinners with mentees (younger people asking for me for advice, etc.).
HOUSE - We had the countertops/sink replaced in our kitchen and I touched up the paint afterwards. My son and I put new tile backsplashes in our kitchen. I replaced all the hardware and hinges for the cabinets in our kitchen cabinets, and then cleaned and polished them thoroughly. I fixed/repaired our lawnmower shed attached to the side of our house and then we had the entire house re-painted. We also replaced our front storm door and screens on several of the windows on our house. Did I mention the weekly mowing and trimming and edging required for our yard (which I absolutely LOVE to do)?
FAMILY - I played golf with my sons (and others) at least four or five times on Sunday afternoons. I made a washers set for one son on his 17th birthday. We hosted birthday dinners at our house for most of our family members. We traveled to Iowa to help my Dad & Mom get ready for their farm sale. We saw an ultra-sound of our first grandchild three months before she was born! I became a grandpa in November for the first time! I enjoyed numerous Skype dates with Andy in mornings before work, and was captivated by lots of breakfasts/lunches/dinners with other family members, too. I paid off the remaining balance for Katie’s college loans (and will do the same for Peter's hopefully next week). We hosted my Dad & Mom for a few nights in Texas on their way to their home in Arizona. We helped our daughter, Katie, move into a new apartment (twice), and then gave her support and a place of refuge in between apartments. I made five or six trips to visit my Mom in Arizona after her stroke in November. Ellen and I celebrated 31 years of marriage. I attended my Uncle Robert's funeral in Iowa between Christmas and New Year's Day, and then served a ton of pancakes and sausage, etc. to over a hundred people at our house on January 1st. I made two trips to NYC to visit Andy & Annie (including surprising Andy and Katie on their 30th and 28th birthdays). I got to babysit my one and only granddaughter, Brynlee, for the first time (more to come, I hope!). We graduated Nathan from high school and prepared ourselves to send him to Abilene Christian University in the fall. I organized and thoroughly enjoyed MOTEF 2012 with Andy, Peter and Nathan following graduation. We attended the weddings of three or four of our friends’ children. Sadly, I lost my dear Mom and spoke at her funeral. And then nine days later, I lost my Uncle Jimmy and missed going to his funeral in Iowa. Finally, I attended an Anderson family reunion in Colorado with Ellen, Katie and Nathan.
So, no wonder there hasn't been time to blog!
I'm not sure whether it will be another 363+ days before I blog again. But, putting this one together has reminded me of Jesus' words in John 10:10 where He said, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." Thank you, Lord, for an abundant life! I am blessed beyond imagination, and I am also very grateful for the many blessings He has given me.
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