It's been approximately 100 days since I retired from HDR in December, 2018. In some ways it seems like a lot longer than that. In other ways I say to myself, "It's been that long already?" In short, I am absolutely loving retirement. I still feel so blessed to even be in this amazing situation - unbelievably blessed, blessed beyond imagination actually! But, as it says in the Bible:
"From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, even more will be expected." (Luke 12:48 CSB).
Leading up to my retirement, people would ask, "So what are you going to do when you retire?" My tongue-in-cheek answer became: "For the first six months, I want to be completely irresponsible." You see, I've had a bad case of the responsibilities for a long time and felt like I really needed to just chill and let each day come as it might for a while - not have too much of an agenda; be little more relaxed than I was prone to being while working. I'm still in that first six months and am probably failing at being completely irresponsible, but I am (with the help of my sweet wife, Ellen) learning to be a lot more interested in enjoying life versus just accomplishing tasks. However, a leopard cannot change his spots either (Jeremiah 13:23). Enjoying life and not fussing over the details? What a concept.
So, the purpose of this post is to reflect on some of the things I am learning in retirement and impart some other ideas about retirement to all of you who read this blog. Hopefully the next few minutes will be an interesting and thought-provoking read for you? If not, my apologies.
First of all, I feel like I am actually enjoying life for the first time in a long time. That is not to say that I didn't enjoy life before. I did! But, rather than feeling pressure to earn a living, accomplish tasks, and be completely responsible, I am actually beginning to realize that just enjoying life here at our home is really okay to do. Ellen has done this for years and has really been a big help in getting me there. I'm actually loving doing more domestic chores and activities with her. Why not help with more things around the house, in the kitchen, with the cleaning, etc. and free us up for other activities away from here together? I'm still in my "detox" phase of this, but learning to love life and experiencing all good things (with Ellen's wonderful help). I'm loving it!
How absolutely freeing it was to throw away my desktop calendar and just use my cell phone for "commitments" and other scheduled activities. Wow. I was so calendar-obsessive before I retired. Literally everything went on my calendar (or on a "things-to-do" list). Way too often I was overly concerned with where my time was being spent and how fast I could get things done. I had to fill out a time sheet and keep budgets for my time after all! So now I'm learning to relax more and not be so driven by time (and lists!). Still have a long ways to go, but I'm learning to enjoy the freedom.
I've recently discovered I don't need to take anything to the dry cleaners anymore. As a matter of fact, one of the first things I did was rearrange all the clothes in my closet, placing the more casual attire in the primary locations (because that is all I wear anymore!). Some of you who know me well know that I always seemed to want to be more "dressed up" versus super casual. Still have that bent, but I am not missing wearing office attire each day at all! Casual clothes everyday is wonderful! I might happily also admit to staying all day in my pajamas, too! Not more than a dozen times, I'm sure. And after all, why not on those cold winter days? Just because I can. SMILE.
The final few months/years of working, traffic to and from work here in the Dallas area was causing me to want to move to the country and get completely away from it (and fast!). The morning drive to work and evening drive home from work were my very least favorite activities. Now, we can travel the highways and byways in the middle of the day and avoid a lot of the congested Dallas traffic. Sweet! It is so fun to be able to be out during the day and not have to fight traffic. I'm actually beginning to enjoy living in the Dallas area again!
Quite a shock to my system was the first time I found myself at Kroger after a morning doctor appointment. I happened to look around and observe who was at the store with me. Seemed to be a lot of really "old" people and people with various visible needs (I hope they weren't saying the same thing about me?). All of a sudden I asked myself: "How did I get in this demographic?" Well, get used to it, Bucko! That's where you are these days. You are now a part of the retired masses in America and there's no turning back! Ha. I still forget to ask for Senior discounts and such. I did join AMAC (in lieu of AARP), however. How did this happen to me? I don't feel that old?
At the first of the year, Ellen and I got away for about nine days to an east Texas lake house (thanks to some very good friends' wonderful generosity!). Ellen ended up dubbing it the "retirement summit" as unbeknownst to her, I had prepared about eight or nine "topics" for us to discuss while we were there (of course!). We also read several books, went for long walks, slept in late a few times, and just thoroughly enjoyed exploring, dreaming and eating at various restaurants in that lovely lake community (and loved every minute of it!). One of the topics we discussed at the summit was friendships/relationships. Who did we want to make sure we invested in and made time for in our retirement years. Rather than just "friendships of convenience" (people from work, church, in our life group, neighborhood, etc.), who do we want to pursue intentionally, hopefully fostering greater and even deeper relationships going forward? In this day and age of pseudo-connections and oftentimes very shallow friendships (thanks to our strange, non-committal American culture and social media, etc.), how can we make sure to have true friends and healthy relationships for the long haul? Do people even call each other on the phone anymore? Do people even write letters to each other anymore? Do people just sit and talk at length with each other about what's on their hearts and what's important to them anymore? What could we do to foster this idea and develop richer, more fruitful friendships/relationships in retirement? (And, let's make sure our immediate family is not excluded from this pursuit.) I am still working on this; still having to get over lame ideas like "Well, I don't want to bother them; they are probably busy with work or their family and all." I really need to step out and swim against the stream of our culture on this one to make good things happen. But, I am totally committed to eventually succeeding in this pursuit. Having solid and beneficial friendships/relationships in retirement (and for the rest of my life) will be very, very important to me and to my family.
So, that's a little bit about the first 100 days. What about the next hundred? Well, I still have some time left in my six months of complete irresponsibility. Thank goodness! But, for now, a few things seem to be prominent on the horizon for my future:
OUR CHURCH - I have begun to do more and more tasks and activities with our church and it's wonderful leadership; I am writing more for our church's daily devotional and allowing myself to be much more available for other initiatives/activities that need energy and assistance there. I hope this will continue for a long time to come.
EXERCISE AND HEALTHY LIVING - I am starting to be concerned with getting more exercise and living a more healthy lifestyle. Still need to work on this (a lot!). I am discovering how easy it would be to just get really lazy and very sloppy with all of this in my retirement years. As a matter of fact, I have talked myself out of a good three-mile walk and talked myself into having another cookie way too many times already! I will need a lot more discipline and greater perseverance to exercise and eat right in order to make healthy living happen! Pray for me...
HEALTH INSURANCE AND MEDICARE - I still need to wrestle health insurance and Medicare (upcoming) to the ground. Ugh! Nobody is going to do it for us (unless any of you are volunteering to help?). And, the sooner we get it done, the sooner the constant junk mail and random, unsolicited phone calls preying on us "soon-to-be-65ers" will stop. Man! How did we get here?
JOY - I really want to have joy every day. I want to always have a willingness to give and share and make myself available to the needs and other urgency's around me, all without feeling a personal responsibility for all of it, and without making it a have-to for me. A want-to is so much better. I really need to thank God every day for His abundant provisions for us, and to inquire of Him every day as to how to use what He has so generously given me/us best for His kingdom and His glory. And then take joy in all of that. So far to go on this one, too.
I am loving retirement more than I thought I actually would. I was not the sort of person who couldn't wait for retirement years before it happened. I really loved my work at HDR and tried to give it my all and my very best efforts. But, for now at least, this is so much better. I am blessed beyond imagination and grateful for all of it!
To God be the Glory!
Monday, March 18, 2019
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