I just returned from a quick get-away trip with my wife, Ellen, to Sun City, Arizona. We were there visiting my parents for a couple of days. They live at this oasis "in the desert" from November through March to get away from the bitter cold and endless piles of snow in Iowa during these months. My Mom just turned 83 on January 7th (praise the Lord), so we were doing a bit of a belated birthday celebration for her. Plus, selfishly for Ellen and me, it's just a really great place to visit. Mom and Dad's home is right on the Union Hills golf course. Thus, the view out their back door (and from their patio) is beautiful, gazing over lush green grass to a small lake with fountains, with picturesque Arizona mountains off in the distance. We were blessed with some fantastic weather while we were there, too. Loved it!
But, aside from the setting, I just have to brag on my Dad.
Over the three days we were there, we went out for breakfast, lunch and dinner several times. We also did some miscellaneous shopping and ran a few errands. Consequently, there was a lot of getting in and out of their car, and a bunch of walking to and from their car to the restaurants/stores we visited. While we were doing that, I couldn't help but notice over and over again that after 62+ years of marriage, he still holds her hand...
Wow. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful that is to see my Dad holding my Mom's hand. I really want to be like my Dad when I grow up.
He loves my Mom so much! He takes really great care of her, too. Mom has Parkinson's disease and it is begining to slow her down a bit more and more every year. She's not as steady on her feet as she once was. She gets a little bit flustered/confused at times because she is not as smooth in doing the things she used to do so effortlessly. But, there's my Dad, giving her a steady hand, and telling her by his actions and loving touch that he'll take good care of her. That she doesn't need to worry about a thing. That he's going to take care of her and protect her no matter what.
What's really cool is that Dad would be doing this even if she didn't have Parkinson's. She's his wife, and that's what a loving husband does for his wife. He gives her a hand. He tells her with his actions and loving touches that he'll take good care of her. A husband's desire is to convince his wife that she doesn't need to worry about a thing. He will take care of her no matter what.
Lately, Ellen and I have been caught "holding hands" on our way in to church, or in a few other relatively public situations/events. People have remarked that we are "cute" to do that and that it seems like we are really in love with each other.
I love holding my wife's hand. We are in love with each other. In my way of thinking, that's what married people are supposed to do. Why is it that a husband holding his wife's hand seems so unusual these days? Whatever happened to romance and chivalry?
I want to honor my Dad's love for his wife (my Mom) with this post. I want to declare to everyone reading this (especially family members) that this is what I plan to do. I hope to continue to follow my Dad's example for many, many years to come. Someday, I want my sons (and daughter) to remark when we have been married as long as my parents (hopefully!), he still holds her hand...
Sometimes it is the little things, the simpler things, that are most important in this life.
Thanks for giving me such a great example/model to follow, Dad! I love you.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Dragged, kicking and screaming...
I've heard it said that a child's personality (and a lot about how that child will respond to certain situations as an adult) is already evident at age 5 or 6. Kind of makes you realize how critically important those first few years of a child's life are, doesn't it?
I am so grateful to God for my Mom being there to shape my personality and guide my development at an early age. Likewise, I am so glad that my wife, Ellen, was there to actively influence the personalities of our four children in their early years.
(In my humble opinion, the ideal situation for a child is for their mother and father to be the ones to perform this all-important task. It is that critical to their adult life!)
Just the other day, a vivid childhood memory popped into my consciousness. It made me realize that a dominant part of my personality, as well as how I frequently respond to certain life situations as an adult, is probably wrapped up in this early childhood experience.
It was the first day of kindergarten in Ellsworth, Iowa, probably the fall of 1959. My family lived on a farm about three miles outside of this small town of 400+ people. To attend school, I would need to take the bus into town. It must have been a late-morning session of kindergarten as I don't remember my two older sisters being a part of this story. They were probably already at school when this took place.
I have this mental picture in my head of my Mom "escorting" me down the end of our long lane to catch the bus. Actually, I was being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way! It must have been terribly embarrassing and upsetting for my Mom. You see, at four years old (I wouldn't turn 5 for another month) I just wasn't too sure about this whole going to school thing. I wasn't excited about it at all! I kind of liked being safely at home during the day with my Mom. What was she doing, making me go to school, for goodness sake? So, I decided to fight the inevitable.
In spite of being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way down the lane, Mom won the battle. She placed me on that bus, let the bus driver close the door, and off to kindergarten I went. I must have liked it, too, as I don't remember her having to force me to go to kindergarten ever again. Apparently, once I got on that bus, I was O.K. Whatever I had feared so much before hand, didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought after all.
But, I couldn't have been convinced of that when I was being dragged, kicking and screaming down our lane. I was genuinely freaked out!
Fast forward to today.
I still get a little freaked out by new things. I will frequently dread a new adventure and/or resist a change in venue/responsibilities. It's as though I'm reverting back to being dragged, kicking and screaming down that lane outside of Ellsworth, Iowa.
Even 50+ years later, there are remnants of that part of my personality showing up. Fascinating!
Likewise, once I "get on the bus" so to speak, I usually do O.K. with the new adventures or change in venue/responsibilities. I am reflecting back now on a whole lifetime of initial reluctance to lead, of timidness when it comes to participating in big events, and of massive squirming when asked to take on new tasks/responsibilities, etc.
So what? Why is this even worth writing down (or being read?)? I guess here's what I'm learning about myself through this experience:
- My personality was somewhat settled at an early age in life. That's not an excuse; it's just fact.
- I am who I am based on some of the experiences I had early in life. That's really O.K.
- I should not try to be someone I'm not. Others can seeminly tackle the big stuff and keep begging for more. Others can get frustrated when new adventures and added responsibilities don't come fast enough. Not me. That's just not who I am.
- Sometimes I am required to press on past my fears and hang-ups. Sometimes I just need to take on those new adventures and challenging responsibilities. I must get over my initial reluctance. I just need to buck it up and do it!
- It is always a good idea to ask myself before stepping in to something new, "What's the worst thing that could happen here anyway?"
If you find yourself sometimes being dragged, kicking and screaming into new adventures and/or situations that freak you out, take a hint from me. Just relax. It probably won't be as bad as you think.
I am so grateful to God for my Mom being there to shape my personality and guide my development at an early age. Likewise, I am so glad that my wife, Ellen, was there to actively influence the personalities of our four children in their early years.
(In my humble opinion, the ideal situation for a child is for their mother and father to be the ones to perform this all-important task. It is that critical to their adult life!)
Just the other day, a vivid childhood memory popped into my consciousness. It made me realize that a dominant part of my personality, as well as how I frequently respond to certain life situations as an adult, is probably wrapped up in this early childhood experience.
It was the first day of kindergarten in Ellsworth, Iowa, probably the fall of 1959. My family lived on a farm about three miles outside of this small town of 400+ people. To attend school, I would need to take the bus into town. It must have been a late-morning session of kindergarten as I don't remember my two older sisters being a part of this story. They were probably already at school when this took place.
I have this mental picture in my head of my Mom "escorting" me down the end of our long lane to catch the bus. Actually, I was being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way! It must have been terribly embarrassing and upsetting for my Mom. You see, at four years old (I wouldn't turn 5 for another month) I just wasn't too sure about this whole going to school thing. I wasn't excited about it at all! I kind of liked being safely at home during the day with my Mom. What was she doing, making me go to school, for goodness sake? So, I decided to fight the inevitable.
In spite of being dragged, kicking and screaming all the way down the lane, Mom won the battle. She placed me on that bus, let the bus driver close the door, and off to kindergarten I went. I must have liked it, too, as I don't remember her having to force me to go to kindergarten ever again. Apparently, once I got on that bus, I was O.K. Whatever I had feared so much before hand, didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought after all.
But, I couldn't have been convinced of that when I was being dragged, kicking and screaming down our lane. I was genuinely freaked out!
Fast forward to today.
I still get a little freaked out by new things. I will frequently dread a new adventure and/or resist a change in venue/responsibilities. It's as though I'm reverting back to being dragged, kicking and screaming down that lane outside of Ellsworth, Iowa.
Even 50+ years later, there are remnants of that part of my personality showing up. Fascinating!
Likewise, once I "get on the bus" so to speak, I usually do O.K. with the new adventures or change in venue/responsibilities. I am reflecting back now on a whole lifetime of initial reluctance to lead, of timidness when it comes to participating in big events, and of massive squirming when asked to take on new tasks/responsibilities, etc.
So what? Why is this even worth writing down (or being read?)? I guess here's what I'm learning about myself through this experience:
- My personality was somewhat settled at an early age in life. That's not an excuse; it's just fact.
- I am who I am based on some of the experiences I had early in life. That's really O.K.
- I should not try to be someone I'm not. Others can seeminly tackle the big stuff and keep begging for more. Others can get frustrated when new adventures and added responsibilities don't come fast enough. Not me. That's just not who I am.
- Sometimes I am required to press on past my fears and hang-ups. Sometimes I just need to take on those new adventures and challenging responsibilities. I must get over my initial reluctance. I just need to buck it up and do it!
- It is always a good idea to ask myself before stepping in to something new, "What's the worst thing that could happen here anyway?"
If you find yourself sometimes being dragged, kicking and screaming into new adventures and/or situations that freak you out, take a hint from me. Just relax. It probably won't be as bad as you think.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Resolutions
I'm normally not one for making New Year's resolutions...
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for setting achievable goals and striving for improvement in my life.
As a matter of fact, I've already tried to eat better/more healthy since the first of the year. I've already tried to do more reading and reflection to begin and end my days. And, I've already been to the local recreation center to work out/exercise three times in 2011 (which is probably two more times than I did all of last year!). Ugh!
But, really? Do resolutions work?
During a time of reading and reflection one morning this week, I rediscovered a terrific example of some resolutions, and decided to make them mine for 2011. Here they are:
One - Remember every day of 2011 that there is only one God. As a follower of Christ, there just aren't any others. Only one.
Two - Avoid making anything else (man-made or natural) competition for God in my life. Remember every day of 2011 that God wants/deserves my devotion and worship. Don't give what belongs to Him to anything/anyone else.
Three - Resist using God's name in an inappropriate way. Remember throughout 2011 that God's name is holy. That speaking curses (and/or coarse words) is just plain wrong for a follower of Christ.
Four - Dedicate at least one day every week completely to God. Keep that day really special, just for Him! Remember throughout all of 2011 that there will always be more work, important errands and an endless list of tasks to do. As a Christ follower, I need to give one day a week over to God and rest.
Five - Look for ways to respect/love my parents more in 2011. They are not to be more highly regarded than God; no family member deserves more respect/love than God. But, God is pleased when I honor my father and my mother with simple acts of kindness and special favor.
Six - Refrain from killing in 2011. That includes killing with words, killing with looks/glances, and killing with hands, etc. Love other people and speak well of them. Denegrading or bad-mouthing or hurting others is just plain wrong for followers of Christ.
Seven - Go overboard in love for my spouse so that I won't even be tempted to cheat with anyone else. Remember throughout 2011 that God is the one who created marriage, that wonderful relationship between one man and one woman. He expects me to be faithful to the incredible gift of "oneness" He's given to me.
Eight - Resist all temptations to take from others. This includes big and small things. As a follower of Christ, there should not even be a hint or a suggestion of dishonesty when it comes to other people's money or possessions.
Nine - At all times, speak truth about my family, friends and everyone else. If you really don't know all the facts about a situation (and you never will), keep your mouth shut. Don't say unkind things about others. Ever. Words hurt and careless, not well thought out phrases are deadly. All truth in 2011!
Ten - Be content with what I have and refrain from desiring more and more of what someone else has. As a Christ follower, thank God everyday in 2011 for how He's abundantly blessed me and marvel at His goodness in all the things He's allowed me to possess.
Well, those are my resolutions for 2011.
By now, some of you are probably saying, "Wait a minute! Haven't I heard those ten somewhere before?" Yup. You have.
See Exodus 20:2-17 for the original version.
Even though I know I'm not going to be able to keep all of these resolutions in 2011 (because by myself, I just can't), I am asking God to work in me and allow me to make some headway towards these lofty goals and needed improvements in my life.
How about you? What are your resolutions for 2011?
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for setting achievable goals and striving for improvement in my life.
As a matter of fact, I've already tried to eat better/more healthy since the first of the year. I've already tried to do more reading and reflection to begin and end my days. And, I've already been to the local recreation center to work out/exercise three times in 2011 (which is probably two more times than I did all of last year!). Ugh!
But, really? Do resolutions work?
During a time of reading and reflection one morning this week, I rediscovered a terrific example of some resolutions, and decided to make them mine for 2011. Here they are:
One - Remember every day of 2011 that there is only one God. As a follower of Christ, there just aren't any others. Only one.
Two - Avoid making anything else (man-made or natural) competition for God in my life. Remember every day of 2011 that God wants/deserves my devotion and worship. Don't give what belongs to Him to anything/anyone else.
Three - Resist using God's name in an inappropriate way. Remember throughout 2011 that God's name is holy. That speaking curses (and/or coarse words) is just plain wrong for a follower of Christ.
Four - Dedicate at least one day every week completely to God. Keep that day really special, just for Him! Remember throughout all of 2011 that there will always be more work, important errands and an endless list of tasks to do. As a Christ follower, I need to give one day a week over to God and rest.
Five - Look for ways to respect/love my parents more in 2011. They are not to be more highly regarded than God; no family member deserves more respect/love than God. But, God is pleased when I honor my father and my mother with simple acts of kindness and special favor.
Six - Refrain from killing in 2011. That includes killing with words, killing with looks/glances, and killing with hands, etc. Love other people and speak well of them. Denegrading or bad-mouthing or hurting others is just plain wrong for followers of Christ.
Seven - Go overboard in love for my spouse so that I won't even be tempted to cheat with anyone else. Remember throughout 2011 that God is the one who created marriage, that wonderful relationship between one man and one woman. He expects me to be faithful to the incredible gift of "oneness" He's given to me.
Eight - Resist all temptations to take from others. This includes big and small things. As a follower of Christ, there should not even be a hint or a suggestion of dishonesty when it comes to other people's money or possessions.
Nine - At all times, speak truth about my family, friends and everyone else. If you really don't know all the facts about a situation (and you never will), keep your mouth shut. Don't say unkind things about others. Ever. Words hurt and careless, not well thought out phrases are deadly. All truth in 2011!
Ten - Be content with what I have and refrain from desiring more and more of what someone else has. As a Christ follower, thank God everyday in 2011 for how He's abundantly blessed me and marvel at His goodness in all the things He's allowed me to possess.
Well, those are my resolutions for 2011.
By now, some of you are probably saying, "Wait a minute! Haven't I heard those ten somewhere before?" Yup. You have.
See Exodus 20:2-17 for the original version.
Even though I know I'm not going to be able to keep all of these resolutions in 2011 (because by myself, I just can't), I am asking God to work in me and allow me to make some headway towards these lofty goals and needed improvements in my life.
How about you? What are your resolutions for 2011?
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thanksgiving All Year Long!
Thanksgiving is one of my all-time favorite holidays! I absolutely love spending extra time away from work with my family and friends, as well as enjoying all the delicious foods of this magnificent time of the year! Yum-yum!
But, why do we sometimes relegate thanksgiving to just one day a year? I know that the American version of Thanksgiving originates from the feasts enjoyed by the Pilgrims in Plymouth, Massachusetts, around 1621 or so. They had a bountiful harvest and wanted to celebrate God's goodness to them for it. But, they were simply expressing their gratitude spontaneously and following a pattern of thanksgiving demonstrated by our ancestors down through the ages. There have probably been large thanksgiving feasts around since the beginning of time.
After having such a rich and meaningful Thanksgiving Day yesterday, I believe that we should celebrate thanksgiving all year long! So, in the interest of trying to help all of us do this, I've chosen a "who, what, where, when, why and how" format for your consideration.
Who
First and foremost, God is the One who should be thanked. He is the One who is to be praised, not only for who He is, but also for all He's done (Psalm 100:4). Let your thanksgiving be an intentional act of worship to God all year long!
What
Our thanksgiving should be a constant celebration. It should be an all-out dedication on our part to continual gratefulness. We can express our thanksgiving to God with words (prayers), with songs/singing (praise and worship tunes or hymns), and with a truly authentic gladness of heart for all that God has done all year long!
Where
The great thing about thanksgiving is that you can be grateful to God anywhere and everywhere! You can express your gratitude by yourself, or in a group, or in your church, or in your office, in your car, inside your home or outside your home, too. There are no limitations to where you have to be in order to give thanks to God. All year long you can tell Him how grateful you are no matter where you are at the time.
When
We can experience thanksgiving all the time. Every day of the year. And when we express our thanksgiving, frequently it will be completely involuntary. We won't even know when it is coming. It will be an immediate response to an event/experience in our life (if we let it). Our thanksgiving can and will be contagious and spontaneous, causing others to also give thanks all year long, too!
Why
Thanksgiving usually brings an abundance of peace to us personally, and furthermore contributes to peace for those around us as well (Jeremiah 30:19, II Corinthians 4:15 & 9:11, Ephesians 5:4). We should not be holding back when we are grateful. We should give it all to God because He is so worthy and deserves all of our praise and thanksgiving all year long!
How
Through prayer (I Timothy 2:1). By voicing our gratefulness to others. Through physical acts and dances for joy. By singing and making joyful noises unto the Lord (Psalm 69:30 & 95:2). Through demonstrating to others ways to be grateful. By involuntary expressions of thanksgiving in all circumstances, no matter what they may be (Philippians 4:6, I Timothy 4:4). And through setting an example of thankfulness in our own lives all year long.
So, while you are still enjoying the afterglow of yesterday's glorious Thanksgiving Day celebration with family/friends and great food, why not make a bold commitment to truly celebrate thanksgiving all year long this upcoming year? Or maybe even for the rest of your life?
But, why do we sometimes relegate thanksgiving to just one day a year? I know that the American version of Thanksgiving originates from the feasts enjoyed by the Pilgrims in Plymouth, Massachusetts, around 1621 or so. They had a bountiful harvest and wanted to celebrate God's goodness to them for it. But, they were simply expressing their gratitude spontaneously and following a pattern of thanksgiving demonstrated by our ancestors down through the ages. There have probably been large thanksgiving feasts around since the beginning of time.
After having such a rich and meaningful Thanksgiving Day yesterday, I believe that we should celebrate thanksgiving all year long! So, in the interest of trying to help all of us do this, I've chosen a "who, what, where, when, why and how" format for your consideration.
Who
First and foremost, God is the One who should be thanked. He is the One who is to be praised, not only for who He is, but also for all He's done (Psalm 100:4). Let your thanksgiving be an intentional act of worship to God all year long!
What
Our thanksgiving should be a constant celebration. It should be an all-out dedication on our part to continual gratefulness. We can express our thanksgiving to God with words (prayers), with songs/singing (praise and worship tunes or hymns), and with a truly authentic gladness of heart for all that God has done all year long!
Where
The great thing about thanksgiving is that you can be grateful to God anywhere and everywhere! You can express your gratitude by yourself, or in a group, or in your church, or in your office, in your car, inside your home or outside your home, too. There are no limitations to where you have to be in order to give thanks to God. All year long you can tell Him how grateful you are no matter where you are at the time.
When
We can experience thanksgiving all the time. Every day of the year. And when we express our thanksgiving, frequently it will be completely involuntary. We won't even know when it is coming. It will be an immediate response to an event/experience in our life (if we let it). Our thanksgiving can and will be contagious and spontaneous, causing others to also give thanks all year long, too!
Why
Thanksgiving usually brings an abundance of peace to us personally, and furthermore contributes to peace for those around us as well (Jeremiah 30:19, II Corinthians 4:15 & 9:11, Ephesians 5:4). We should not be holding back when we are grateful. We should give it all to God because He is so worthy and deserves all of our praise and thanksgiving all year long!
How
Through prayer (I Timothy 2:1). By voicing our gratefulness to others. Through physical acts and dances for joy. By singing and making joyful noises unto the Lord (Psalm 69:30 & 95:2). Through demonstrating to others ways to be grateful. By involuntary expressions of thanksgiving in all circumstances, no matter what they may be (Philippians 4:6, I Timothy 4:4). And through setting an example of thankfulness in our own lives all year long.
So, while you are still enjoying the afterglow of yesterday's glorious Thanksgiving Day celebration with family/friends and great food, why not make a bold commitment to truly celebrate thanksgiving all year long this upcoming year? Or maybe even for the rest of your life?
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Every Man is an Island
You've probably heard the expression "no man is an island." Frankly, I wonder if that's all wrong? I wonder if every man is an island is more like it. Let me explain...
I believe that you and I were created for relationship. I believe that you and I need relationship more than anything else in all the world. I believe that without truly relating to other people in our lives, we become "islands," completely separated from each other, which is not very healthy.
Why then are you and I so prone to times of isolation and broken relationships? Why do we unwittingly create barriers between us or establish "deep waters" that separate ourselves from the very people we should/could be relating to?
Has this been anyone else's experience or is it just me?
Take my important relationship with my wonderful wife, Ellen. She is absolutely one of the most highly relational people I have ever known. Thank God for that! She just thrives on relating to other people and sometimes I am just perplexed by how good she is at it. I really wish I was more like her some days. I really, really do! But instead, there are times when I sense that I am totally clamming up, creating an unwanted barrier between us. Usually I can't even figure out exactly why? Here's this highly relational, wonderful person in my life, and yet I am establishing "deep waters" around me to keep her at bay (so to speak). I don't get it?
And then there's my four children, those supremely important and wonderful offspring God blessed me and Ellen with as a family. I love them more than anything else in all the world, and I would do absolutely anything for any of them (I really, really would!). But, too often I sense that I am once again creating barriers between them and me. And I ask myself, "Why in the world am I doing this?" Here are these terrific young people in my life, and I'm establishing "deep waters" around me, keeping them at bay? What's with that?
How about other people in your life that you have opportunity to relate to? Like your parents, or those that you live around, or those you work with every day, or those you see at your church or school? Ever find yourself holding back from really relating to them? You realize of course that they probably are really great folks who also need relationship as much as you do, right? Why are we sometimes so prone to make "islands" out of ourselves when we were created for relationship?
Well, I have a couple of thoughts on this subject.
Relationships are hard. Relationships require a lot of us. Relationships frequently change. Sometimes we are not as willing as we should/could be to change with them. In an ideal sense, relationships are about us being willing to relate to that other person, not about whether that other person is satisfing my needs/wants/desires.
I also believe that you can only maintain a small number of truly deep and fulfilling relationships. We kid ourselves when we try to relate to hundreds or thousands of people. It just doesn't work. Large numbers like that are not true relationships. They are just casual acquaintances. People whose names simply fill up our address books and cell phones. True relationships are more intentional and more methodical and more sacrificial. They are also very rewarding and beneficial.
Yes, relationships are really the most important thing in this life. But, we frequently we mess them up, don't we? To the people we should/could love the most, we often become "islands" because we are afraid they might ask us to do something for them. Frequently we are unwilling to be that unselfish and vulnerable for them. Seems like we are often more willing to relate to someone and get along with someone in relationship as long as they agree with us and/or do what we want them to do. But when they demand something of us or ask us to commit to something that might interrupt our own selfish lives, we quickly become "islands."
So, it seems like every man is an island can be our relational experience. But, does it have to be? I am committing to working real hard from this moment to change that going forward. How about you? Will you join me?
No man is an island? Maybe they did get it right after all?
I believe that you and I were created for relationship. I believe that you and I need relationship more than anything else in all the world. I believe that without truly relating to other people in our lives, we become "islands," completely separated from each other, which is not very healthy.
Why then are you and I so prone to times of isolation and broken relationships? Why do we unwittingly create barriers between us or establish "deep waters" that separate ourselves from the very people we should/could be relating to?
Has this been anyone else's experience or is it just me?
Take my important relationship with my wonderful wife, Ellen. She is absolutely one of the most highly relational people I have ever known. Thank God for that! She just thrives on relating to other people and sometimes I am just perplexed by how good she is at it. I really wish I was more like her some days. I really, really do! But instead, there are times when I sense that I am totally clamming up, creating an unwanted barrier between us. Usually I can't even figure out exactly why? Here's this highly relational, wonderful person in my life, and yet I am establishing "deep waters" around me to keep her at bay (so to speak). I don't get it?
And then there's my four children, those supremely important and wonderful offspring God blessed me and Ellen with as a family. I love them more than anything else in all the world, and I would do absolutely anything for any of them (I really, really would!). But, too often I sense that I am once again creating barriers between them and me. And I ask myself, "Why in the world am I doing this?" Here are these terrific young people in my life, and I'm establishing "deep waters" around me, keeping them at bay? What's with that?
How about other people in your life that you have opportunity to relate to? Like your parents, or those that you live around, or those you work with every day, or those you see at your church or school? Ever find yourself holding back from really relating to them? You realize of course that they probably are really great folks who also need relationship as much as you do, right? Why are we sometimes so prone to make "islands" out of ourselves when we were created for relationship?
Well, I have a couple of thoughts on this subject.
Relationships are hard. Relationships require a lot of us. Relationships frequently change. Sometimes we are not as willing as we should/could be to change with them. In an ideal sense, relationships are about us being willing to relate to that other person, not about whether that other person is satisfing my needs/wants/desires.
I also believe that you can only maintain a small number of truly deep and fulfilling relationships. We kid ourselves when we try to relate to hundreds or thousands of people. It just doesn't work. Large numbers like that are not true relationships. They are just casual acquaintances. People whose names simply fill up our address books and cell phones. True relationships are more intentional and more methodical and more sacrificial. They are also very rewarding and beneficial.
Yes, relationships are really the most important thing in this life. But, we frequently we mess them up, don't we? To the people we should/could love the most, we often become "islands" because we are afraid they might ask us to do something for them. Frequently we are unwilling to be that unselfish and vulnerable for them. Seems like we are often more willing to relate to someone and get along with someone in relationship as long as they agree with us and/or do what we want them to do. But when they demand something of us or ask us to commit to something that might interrupt our own selfish lives, we quickly become "islands."
So, it seems like every man is an island can be our relational experience. But, does it have to be? I am committing to working real hard from this moment to change that going forward. How about you? Will you join me?
No man is an island? Maybe they did get it right after all?
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Lessons Learned from Defeat
First the easy one.
The Texas Rangers were soundly defeated by the San Francisco Giants in only five games in the 2010 World Series. I was bummed out about their defeat for days!
But, there was at least one obvious lesson to be learned from their disappointing defeat on November 1, 2010. That is: Great pitching almost always beats great hitting in baseball. Always has. Probably always will. While the Rangers made significant improvements to their pitching staff in the past several years, it wasn't quite enough to actually win a World Series.
I'm still a big Rangers fan, however! I can only hope that they will take note of this and other lessons learned from defeat.
Now for the more difficult one.
The Democrats were soundly defeated by the Republicans in the 2010 mid-term elections on November 2, 2010. Being a conservative, and generally a fairly routine backer of Republicans in most elections, I was kind of happy about that. As a matter of fact, I still am.
However, I think we all (regardless of our political persuasions) need to take note of some of the lessons learned from defeat while they are still fresh.
Now, I know that I'm kind of stepping out there with this blog and taking a big risk with some of you. These are simply my humble thoughts and are based on my long-held convictions. But, I hope you will understand that these words are not written to alienate any of you or have this become an issue that divides us in the future. I really mean that.
Lesson # 1 - A "big shift" towards a certain political direction (be it left or right) in one election usually shifts back in the next election. It is really, really difficult for one political party to win election after election after election in this country. There will occasionally be big swings in our voting results to the left or the right . But, these have a way of correcting themselves the next time people are given a chance to go to the polls. In other words, winning one election doesn't mean that much. Multiple elections in a row are what is significant.
Lesson # 2 - Politicians who primarily push their political ideologies and ignore the general will of the people do so at their own peril. I'm certain that a lot of Monday-morning quarterbacking must have been going on in several political circles following the 2010 elections. "Maybe we shouldn't have pushed so fast and so hard on certain volatile issues?" "Maybe we should have listened more closely to the overall mood of our country, paying closer attention to what many of the people of this country were trying to tell us?" I think the old adage of live and learn applies here.
Lesson # 3 - Liberty and freedom matters more than "progress" and change in this country. The United States of America was founded on the principles of individual liberties and freedom from any form of governmental tyranny. We as individual citizens still don't like being categorized into various "classes," or being told by the ruling party to pay excessive taxes to support stuff we really don't agree with. Americans didn't like that infringement by the British government on their liberty and freedom 200 years ago, and we still don't like it today. Don't mess with our liberty and freedom if that's what it takes to enact "progress" and change. It won't work.
Lesson # 4 - Strong support for and defense of our Constitution with governing based on same (versus political ideologies) is what works in this country. Going forward as a nation, everything we do in the halls of Congress should be checked against the Constitution first and no laws should even make it out of committee without passing a test of Constitution-compliance first. Adherence to the United States Constitution is what has made this country great, not political ideologies. Deviation from the long-standing principles of our Constitution will be the end of this nation's greatness.
Lesson # 5 - If you don't have the money for something, don't spend what you don't have. No matter how much you might want something to change or something to be a certain way, if you do not have the means by which to pay for it, it's just not the right idea. Period. Borrowing money and going into debt is only a good idea for rare occasions. You should only borrow money if you have a reasonable plan for how you plan to pay off that debt in the future, and that needs to square with all of your other obligations as well. It is foolish to spend borrowed money when you have no credible plan to pay it back in the future.
Well, there you have it. My thoughts on lessons learned from defeat. Not sure if what I've written aligns with your thinking, or if it is completely contrary to same. At a minimum, I hope it will cause you to consider the implications of elections in this country and prepare you to be an even better citizen the next time we go to the polls in 2012.
Go Rangers!
The Texas Rangers were soundly defeated by the San Francisco Giants in only five games in the 2010 World Series. I was bummed out about their defeat for days!
But, there was at least one obvious lesson to be learned from their disappointing defeat on November 1, 2010. That is: Great pitching almost always beats great hitting in baseball. Always has. Probably always will. While the Rangers made significant improvements to their pitching staff in the past several years, it wasn't quite enough to actually win a World Series.
I'm still a big Rangers fan, however! I can only hope that they will take note of this and other lessons learned from defeat.
Now for the more difficult one.
The Democrats were soundly defeated by the Republicans in the 2010 mid-term elections on November 2, 2010. Being a conservative, and generally a fairly routine backer of Republicans in most elections, I was kind of happy about that. As a matter of fact, I still am.
However, I think we all (regardless of our political persuasions) need to take note of some of the lessons learned from defeat while they are still fresh.
Now, I know that I'm kind of stepping out there with this blog and taking a big risk with some of you. These are simply my humble thoughts and are based on my long-held convictions. But, I hope you will understand that these words are not written to alienate any of you or have this become an issue that divides us in the future. I really mean that.
Lesson # 1 - A "big shift" towards a certain political direction (be it left or right) in one election usually shifts back in the next election. It is really, really difficult for one political party to win election after election after election in this country. There will occasionally be big swings in our voting results to the left or the right . But, these have a way of correcting themselves the next time people are given a chance to go to the polls. In other words, winning one election doesn't mean that much. Multiple elections in a row are what is significant.
Lesson # 2 - Politicians who primarily push their political ideologies and ignore the general will of the people do so at their own peril. I'm certain that a lot of Monday-morning quarterbacking must have been going on in several political circles following the 2010 elections. "Maybe we shouldn't have pushed so fast and so hard on certain volatile issues?" "Maybe we should have listened more closely to the overall mood of our country, paying closer attention to what many of the people of this country were trying to tell us?" I think the old adage of live and learn applies here.
Lesson # 3 - Liberty and freedom matters more than "progress" and change in this country. The United States of America was founded on the principles of individual liberties and freedom from any form of governmental tyranny. We as individual citizens still don't like being categorized into various "classes," or being told by the ruling party to pay excessive taxes to support stuff we really don't agree with. Americans didn't like that infringement by the British government on their liberty and freedom 200 years ago, and we still don't like it today. Don't mess with our liberty and freedom if that's what it takes to enact "progress" and change. It won't work.
Lesson # 4 - Strong support for and defense of our Constitution with governing based on same (versus political ideologies) is what works in this country. Going forward as a nation, everything we do in the halls of Congress should be checked against the Constitution first and no laws should even make it out of committee without passing a test of Constitution-compliance first. Adherence to the United States Constitution is what has made this country great, not political ideologies. Deviation from the long-standing principles of our Constitution will be the end of this nation's greatness.
Lesson # 5 - If you don't have the money for something, don't spend what you don't have. No matter how much you might want something to change or something to be a certain way, if you do not have the means by which to pay for it, it's just not the right idea. Period. Borrowing money and going into debt is only a good idea for rare occasions. You should only borrow money if you have a reasonable plan for how you plan to pay off that debt in the future, and that needs to square with all of your other obligations as well. It is foolish to spend borrowed money when you have no credible plan to pay it back in the future.
Well, there you have it. My thoughts on lessons learned from defeat. Not sure if what I've written aligns with your thinking, or if it is completely contrary to same. At a minimum, I hope it will cause you to consider the implications of elections in this country and prepare you to be an even better citizen the next time we go to the polls in 2012.
Go Rangers!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
His was a life well-lived
Vernell G. Kvale - born September 30, 1931; died September 30, 2010. A complete life. His was a life well-lived.
I am thanking God today for the life of one of my favorite uncles. For the love he showed to me throughout his life, and for the inspiration he's been to me ever since his death.
Although it is usually ill-timed, we tend to appreciate someone we have loved and admired even more after they are already gone. I wonder why that is? Why do we tend to get so preoccupied with our own lives and our own affairs so much that we forget to honor those among us who have lived their lives well, and have blessed us (and others) immensely?
I don't have the answer to my own question. But, I can tell you this. Attending my uncle's funeral recently impacted me greatly. His was a life well-lived.
My Uncle Vernell lived most of his life in Lake Mills, Iowa. Except for a couple of years spent farming with my Dad following high school, and two years of active duty service in the United States Army following that, this small town of a few thousand people was his home. I admire the simplicity and wholesomeness that represents. I also admire the fact that he appeared to be perfectly content with living in the same community his entire life.
He married my Aunt Violet in 1956. That means that they were into their 55th year of marriage at his death. I admire the faithfulness and longevity that represents. He loved her greatly and it showed! A testimony to his incredible love for her and his thinking of her needs all the way to the end was this story told to me by his son following the funeral. My aunt's birthday was just a week after his. So, a few weeks before he died when he was being taken to hospice, he made sure that his son purchased a birthday card and gift from him so that it would be there and given to her in case he wasn't around to give it to her himself. His was a life well-lived.
He was a loving and dedicated father to four living children, two daughters and two sons. He loved them greatly and it showed! He was also grandfather to four young grandchildren whom he loved dearly and they loved him back. I admire the commitment and dedication to others that represents. Another story told at the funeral conveyed the mutual love shared between my uncle and his grandchildren. When his life was coming to a close and he was already very weak and at hospice, one of his granddaughters really wanted to be with him, missing his tender, loving touch. So unprompted, she crawled up in the hospital bed with him to snuggle. Even though in a terribly weakened state, he still wrapped his arm around her as they lay there together quietly for several minutes. His was a life well-lived.
As to his vocations in life, he was a farmer, a manager of the Lake Mills Creamery, and a custodian at the Lake Mills Community School. Following his official retirement about thirteen years ago, he continued to perform some part-time carpentry with a friend and assisted various farmers in his community with their harvests. I admire the hard work ethic and lifetime productivity that represents. Knowing that he would eventually lose his battle with cancer after fighting it for ten years, he actively participated in the planning of his own funeral service. Because of his genuine love for children at the school where he was custodian for ten years, he requested a choir from the school sing at his service. And they did. It was an absolutely wonderful and refreshing patriotic tribute to America. His was a life well-lived.
Finally, nearest and dearest to my heart is the fact that my uncle was a writer, and a believer in Jesus Christ.
As to his writing, throughout his life he wrote prose and poetry and shared many of his original writings at Memorial Day and Veterans' Day ceremonies. With only a simple high school education, he also wrote meaningful pieces for friends and family in his community, blessing them at birthday or retirement celebrations.
As to his Christian faith, it was obvious to me from words spoken at the funeral that my uncle had a deep and abiding faith in Christ. The pastor who conducted the services reflected on numerous conversations with my uncle and communicated effectively some intimate references to assurance of my uncle's salvation and personal relationship with Christ.
Yes, his was a life well-lived. Thank you, Uncle Vernell.
May we all express our love and openly appreciate someone we admire while they are still living.
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