Longing for a simpler time in life...

Sitting in a hotel breakfast area as I write this, longing for a simpler time in life...

We're traveling this pre-Thanksgiving holiday and today finds us at a Hampton Inn in Las Cruces, New Mexico (hurray for numerous business travels that garner hotel points and free stays!). Four of us are on our way to visiting more extended family in Tucson today through Tuesday morning, and then we will head to the Phoenix area for time with my parents and other family interactions there. I love the fact that I have a family to spend time with. I also love the idea of "road trips" like this, and we have done dozens of them over the years.

But, as I sit here still a bit stressed out over the past week of work and the over 700 miles we traveled yesterday, a bit concerned for my daughter Katie in Delhi, India, on a short-term mission trip this week, and while observing other traveling families in this lobby breakfast area with their small children in tow, I'm reminisching about and longing for a simpler time in life.

A time when my family was always all together.

A time when we actually did everything together.

A time when all of us seemed to be completely in sync with one another.

I know that my longings are on the edge of kind of dreamy and possibly not very realistic (it probably wasn't as easy as I'm remembering it), but that's what's going on in my thoughts as I smile at the cutest little children around me and how they appear to be responding with such bold faith and trust in their parents for everything.

But, life isn't that simple right now. Everyone grows up and moves on. Everyone heads off to new personal and professional pursuits (as they should). Everyone changes based on the environments they are in and who they are currently influenced by. Life goes on. And that's O.K.

But, the fact remains, I'm still longing for a simpler time in life...

Happy Thanksgiving all!

I'm just not very good at "small talk"

I love people, I really do. I love being around people also. I have a lot of really great people in my life. Don't know what I'd be like if it weren't for the people God placed around me in my family, my neighborhood, my church, my work, etc. But, I'm just not very good at "small talk."

Maybe that is why I love doing this - writing once a week on this blog. I can take the time to carefully compose my thoughts, think deeply about a subject that means something special to me, and then write (hopefully intelligently?) about what is really on this heart of mine. Although I am using a lot of words in this blog, there's really not much "small talk" here...

But, I feel guilty about not being very good at "small talk." Isn't "small talk" how we relate to one another and find out more about each other? Does everything we say to each other need to have deep meaning and/or an agenda? Can't we just share thoughts and ideas with one another without being judged?

Let me ask you this. Do we gravitate more towards "small talk" because we are afraid to tell other people around us what we are really thinking? What we really believe about each other and about life? Is our "small talk" just a mask that we hide behind these days for fear that others might really discover who we are?

Or, is all of our "small talk" only what we give ourselves time for - just shallow, brief conversations that mean very little because we are in such a doggone hurry all the time?

Seems like it didn't used to be this way. Seems like when I was growing up in a small town in Iowa, people usually had meaningful and thoughtful conversations. Didn't they?

In a day and age of abundant forms/tools of communication (even excessive maybe?), and with the multiple opportunities we have each day to communicate with each other (cell phones, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc.), why is it that it feels like we are actually communicating less and less? Isn't a lot of what we communicate with one another really just "small talk" and/or somewhat meaningless conversation/words? Where's the depth?

Do you know what I really, really like? When someone I know (in my family, my neighborhood, my church or my work) just wants to get together to talk deeply about important things in this life. Maybe over a long cup of coffee. Maybe over a meal. Maybe on a long drive across the country. Maybe on a camping trip when all the other "noises" we deal with most everyday are somewhat quiet and/or non-existent...

There are days when I long for a more Little House on the Prairie type lifestyle, where all you had around you was your own family and the words you shared with one another intimately, day in, day out. No telephones. No television. No Facebook postings and/or status updates. Not a lot of "small talk," but rather abundant times of sharing with each other, living close to each other, believing in shared/common values and inviting one another to be even more open with each other as the days went by and as you grew in this life. All without fear of what the other person might think about what you might have to say. Because you were family and you all were primarily looking out for the good of one another.

I'm just not very good at "small talk." But, if you want to sit down and go really deep in conversation with me, let's get together and do it!

I need a new favorite color...

Everyone has their favorite color. Mine used to be green. Not any more...

Green was such a perfect favorite color for me. Green implied growth and I'm a real pro-growth guy (economic growth, spiritual growth, growth in intelligence/understanding, etc.). Green also conjured up wonderful images of plants and "landscape," so appropriate for my chosen profession of Landscape Architecture. Additionally, green very often caused me to think of my home state, Iowa, and all the green grass, corn and soybean fields there. Finally, not everyone liked green as their favorite color either, which helped make me kind of distinctive/unusual (as though I needed assistance in being unusual...). Green was such a great favorite color for me, and for such a long time, too!

But, green is no longer a color. Unfortunately, green has now become a policy position, a political statement, a marketing strategy, a religion, and for some, even a calling or a sacred (?) cause to save the planet (ever heard of Al Gore?).

So, if you are reading this, help me. Please! I need a new favorite color...

I'm going to rule out the "colors" black and white first. Too many racial overtones and misunderstandings associated with these two. Plus, they are really non-colors, aren't they? How can you say that your favorite color is black or white when each are really non-colors? If I'm messed up here and one of these should be my new favorite color, let me know.

I'm also going to rule out gray. Gray is the color my hair is becoming and/or has already turned to. I'm not that concerned about it, but just because I'm getting closer to becoming a "senior citizen," I don't think my favorite color should be gray. What do you think?

I'd love to say that brown is my new favorite color because I like it and it reminds me of another of my favorites - chocolate. But, I really don't need to think about chocolate very much as it doesn't really do me any favors when it comes to my weight. Plus, everytime I tell people (especially my kids!) that the tuxedos the guys wore at our wedding almost 29 years ago were brown, they respond with disbelief in that choice and laugh. So, my new favorite color can't be brown.

What about purple? That's the color of my son Peter and his bride Kristen's alma mater - Abilene Christian University. It's also kind of a trendy color, I think? No. Can't be purple. Sorry folks. Although I am confident in my manhood and try not to be sexist, I still consider purple to be a female color.

Orange is nice, but burnt orange implies being a fan of the University of Texas (which I am not). Orange also has too much association with Halloween, doesn't it? So, I guess it can't be orange.

What's left? Red, Blue and Yellow - the primary colors. I like that. Maybe my next favorite color should be one of these?

Red is good. There is a lot of talk these days about red states and their association with being Republican and conservative. That makes a lot of sense for me. But, then again. Red also used to have several negative connotations - Red Communist, Red Chinese, Blood Red, etc. So, maybe not red?

Blue? Well, blue is my wife's favorite color and I really like it, too. But, since I'm not a blue state kind of guy, I don't really "sing the blues" very much, and since so many people like blue, maybe it's not unusual/distinctive enough for me? What do you think?

Finally, how about yellow? Why not yellow? I need a new favorite color... Should it be yellow? There is a really cool Cold Play song that I like about yellow. Sunshine is yellow and I love sunshine and lots of it? But, can I get past the problems associated with this color: yellow-bellied coward; yellow/jaundiced; yellow infections; etc. Oh me, oh my. What's the right answer?

I need a new favorite color... Send me your thoughts on which one I should choose, O.K.? Thanks in advance.

Don't Drink the Kool-Aid?

Have you ever heard the expression, "Don't drink the Kool-Aid?" Where did that oft-used expression come from anyway? Even though I lived through that time and experience (I remember hearing about it on the news), I still had to do a little research (thanks to the Internet) to refresh my memory of the not so pleasant details.

About 31 years ago this month, an extremely charismatic and compelling leader named Jim Jones orchestrated the largest mass suicide ever of over 900 members of his People's Temple in Jonestown, Guyana, South America. He had become convinced that "committing an act of revolution suicide to protest the conditions of an inhumane world" was the only thing they could do. His twisted philosophies and totally unconventional ideas aligned with communism and socialism had failed him and the People's Temple at every turn along the way. They had been forced to move as a group several times - from Indiana to California, and then finally to Guyana, South America to escape the intense scrutiny of many who began to see how far off-base this group was becoming. Unfortunately, Jones still had enough influence and power over these 900+ people (including over 275 children) that the last act of the People's Temple was to obediently "drink the Kool-Aid" containing a sedative and cyanide poison. All because their charismatic leader told them to do so. They had completely put all their faith and trust in their leader, in spite of all his failed ideas and philosophies. He had garnered that much control over them. So much control that they were even willing to take their own lives (and the precious lives of their very own children).

Sadly, the People's Temple members were found by authorities several days later laying side by side, dead because they believed with their very lives in the strong, but terribly misguided urgings of their charismatic leader Jim Jones.

So what? Is there anything we can learn from this significant episode in our history? Well, here's a few of the take-aways I have from this event:

- Beware of extremely charismatic and compelling leaders. Listen to them carefully, but make sure to think before you follow any of their ideas.

- No matter how bad or inhumane the condition of this world gets, suicide is never the answer, no matter who it is that tells you it is.

- Twisted philosophies and unconventional ideas aligned with communism and socialism have never worked or turned out positively, no matter how lofty and well-meaning the original goal was of helping others.

- If the philosophies and ideas of a charismatic leader never achieve long-lasing success, thereby forcing that leader to "keep moving" and never land solidly anywhere, that ought to be a pretty good indicator of being on the wrong track.

- No charismatic leader should be given the power to convince you to turn off your brain and do something really stupid.

Be smart. Don't drink the Kool-Aid!