Contrary to the unprecedented popularity of several new social media types (including Facebook), there are only a few relationships that matter in this world.
I mean really. Can any one of us really have several hundred "friends" all at the same time? I think not. Consequently, these days my heart yearns for a few relationships that matter. Not dozens; just a few. But, I have found that it is easier said than done.
Take today for example. Today is my Dad's 82nd birthday. He lives in Iowa and I live in Texas. I spoke with him this morning by phone, but really wish I could be there with him in person today instead.
Happy Birthday, Dad!
Not sure why I even wrote that here to him. He'll never read it. You see, my Dad does not have a personal computer, or a cell phone for that matter. He's never logged on to the Internet or sent/received an e-mail. Facebook is an absolute foreign concept to him. He wouldn't comprehend the concept of a Twitter "tweet" even if I tried to explain it to him. And yet, I still have a strong desire for a relationship that matters with him! How is that even possible when we live over 700 miles away from each other? Brief, weekly phone calls on Sunday afternoons just aren't enough for relationships that matter to flourish. There needs to be more, so much more. How I wish there was more in the relationship with my Dad.
I also think about other important people in my life. The people I love. The ones I really should have a relationship that matters with: Ellen; Andy, Annie, Katie, Peter, Kristen, and Nathan; my Mom; my sisters/brothers and their spouses/friends; my nephews/nieces; my close friends; a few co-workers; a few neighbors; a few people at church; etc.
Already, my list of people I really should have a relationship that matters with is up past 60 people. Plus, very few of those on my list live close by or are connected with me in a constant, regular sort of way.
Therefore, I have to ask myself, "Is it really even possible to have a relationship that matters with all of these people?"
I have a strong desire for a relationship that matters with each and every one, but I get terribly frustrated when it seems so hard to actually do! What's wrong with me anyway? Why does it appear that others are able to manage this part of life so well? Or, are they?
While pondering this dilemma, I was drawn to several verses in the Bible (Romans 7:18-20 to be exact). Here's what those verses say in the New American Standard version:
"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But, if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me."
Not that I am a theologian or anything, but I think what these verses are saying is that when we have a strong desire to do what is right, but get frustrated when we can't do what we want to do and maybe even do the exact opposite of what we want to do, that means it's sin's fault. So, based on that, do I just get off easy then and say that it is an impossible task and just give up when it comes to relationships that matter? No.
I think there are several things I can learn from this whole experience concerning relationships that matter.
First, I need to stop trying to be more than I can really be to all the people/loved ones in my life. I need to better understand that I have a capacity for relationships, and also recognize that I probably will only be able to have relationships that matter with a few. And those few are probably going to be the ones who are either physically or genetically really close to me.
Second, it's discipline not desire that changes things. If I really desire a relationship that matters with someone close to me, then I am going to have to do something more than I am currently doing to make that happen. Just having the desire is not enough.
Third, I need to stop worrying about other people's expectations for me when it comes to relationships. I need to just enjoy the relationships I have and cherish those instead of spending all my time longing for some other relationship to get better. It would be a terrible thing to have no relationships that matter because of fussing over what was missing in so many of them.
I'm going to travel to Iowa with Ellen and Nathan to see my Dad in late June/early July. It will be wonderful to see him on the farm then. I'll have two to three days to demonstrate to him that his is a relationship that matters.
As they say in the Nike commercials, just do it!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Love Where You Live
My pastor is wrapping up a sermon series today entitled, "Love Where You Live." It's all about challenging us to notice the people/needs in our midst and then encouraging us to share the love of Jesus with those people/needs. It's been a great series of messages! Really thought-provoking, and definitely a big call to action. What else can I do for others in my community?
I was in Chicago at a design conference for three days this past week and saw a little bit different version of the expression love where you live there. My long-lasting impression of the people I met in Chicago will be that most of them really know a lot about the buildings, planning and history of their city, and that they will do all they can to tell others why they love their city so much.
I was therefore struck with several "what ifs?" which became the inspiration for this blog.
What if each of us in our own individual communities actually noticed the people/needs in our midst, and then did all we were equipped/inspired to do to help meet the needs of those people?
What if each of us who are Christ followers openly shared the love and grace of Jesus with the people in our communities, and then actually helped them with their needs (both practically and financially) in the blessed name of Jesus?
What if each of us in our individual communities took the time to know a lot more about the buildings, planning and history of where we live so that we could tell others in a compelling way why we love where we live so much?
While I absolutely loved being in Chicago this past week, frankly I couldn't wait to get home on Friday night! You see, I live in Plano, Texas, not Chicago, Illinois (or any place else that might be as "cool" as Chicago). I love where I live!
I love the fact that Plano is my family's home and that it has been for the past 25+ years. I love the fact that because most of my family and friends live here in this area, I get to see them and be with them quite often. I love the fact that my church is here and that we get to minister to the people/needs of this community together. I love the fact that I know most of my neighbors and they know me. I love the fact that we can spend time talking with each other openly and learning from each other as well. I love the fact that Plano is a well-educated and prosperous community, and that I feel safe and "at home" here. I love where I live!
It's always nice to visit other places and learn about them, but the place where you live should be the one you love the most.
Love where you live!
I was in Chicago at a design conference for three days this past week and saw a little bit different version of the expression love where you live there. My long-lasting impression of the people I met in Chicago will be that most of them really know a lot about the buildings, planning and history of their city, and that they will do all they can to tell others why they love their city so much.
I was therefore struck with several "what ifs?" which became the inspiration for this blog.
What if each of us in our own individual communities actually noticed the people/needs in our midst, and then did all we were equipped/inspired to do to help meet the needs of those people?
What if each of us who are Christ followers openly shared the love and grace of Jesus with the people in our communities, and then actually helped them with their needs (both practically and financially) in the blessed name of Jesus?
What if each of us in our individual communities took the time to know a lot more about the buildings, planning and history of where we live so that we could tell others in a compelling way why we love where we live so much?
While I absolutely loved being in Chicago this past week, frankly I couldn't wait to get home on Friday night! You see, I live in Plano, Texas, not Chicago, Illinois (or any place else that might be as "cool" as Chicago). I love where I live!
I love the fact that Plano is my family's home and that it has been for the past 25+ years. I love the fact that because most of my family and friends live here in this area, I get to see them and be with them quite often. I love the fact that my church is here and that we get to minister to the people/needs of this community together. I love the fact that I know most of my neighbors and they know me. I love the fact that we can spend time talking with each other openly and learning from each other as well. I love the fact that Plano is a well-educated and prosperous community, and that I feel safe and "at home" here. I love where I live!
It's always nice to visit other places and learn about them, but the place where you live should be the one you love the most.
Love where you live!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Spiritual Lessons from a Colonoscopy
I had my first ever colonoscopy this past week. Oh boy! I was kind of dreading it, but in the end (pun intended), it wasn't all that bad. Plus, it gave me inspiration for this blog!
Through the whole process of scheduling it, anticipating it, preparing for it, and then actually going through it, I discovered that there are several spiritual lessons from a colonoscopy. So, what follows is my attempt to let you all in on what I learned from this not-so-pleasant medical procedure.
First, I learned that sometimes it's best to just do it! My family practice doctor had advised me during the past five years to get a colonoscopy. Only recently did I decide to do it. My doctor had my best health interests in mind when recommending this procedure. He wanted me to discover if there was something crappy (pun intended) in my body that could lead to unwanted health troubles. Our medical profession has universally determined that on or around your 50th birthday is the ideal time to get your first colonoscopy. I was about five years late.
So, what's the spiritual lesson here? Well, how often has someone with authority in your life (a parent, a pastor, a mentor, an older brother or sister, etc.) suggested that it's time to take care of something really important in your spiritual life and you have chosen to ignore them (even though you might suspect they are probably right)? How often has someone you admire advised you to do something so that you can avoid unwanted problems later in life, but you chose to completely disregard what they've said (at least for awhile)? Sometimes it's best to just do it. Listen to that authority in your life and do what they are telling you to do, knowing that they really do have your best interests at heart.
Second, I learned that it takes a great amount of concentration to completely clean out stuff that gets in the way of improved health. Before I could have a colonoscopy, I had to put my normal routine aside and get prepared for it. It's just not possible to make a spur-of-the-moment decision to have a colonscopy. There is quite a regimen to go through approximately 12-16 hours ahead of the actual procedure. Some might even call it drastic! But, medical experts have determined this to be the best way of getting accurate results and save them from a lot of mess (ew!) while doing the procedure.
So, what's the spiritual lesson here? If you really want to know what is going on in your spiritual life, you just can't discover that without concentrating on it for awhile, taking time to clean out stuff that has built up inside of you over time. For improved spiritual health, it requires both a good amount of time and focused concentration. You may even need to do something drastic (like a complete TV/media/cell phone fast and/or immersion into good reading material for a time). Don't fool yourself into thinking that improved spiritual health will happen without a lot of time and concentration. It won't.
Third, I learned that I needed to allow myself to trust others, as well as partner with someone through the process. When I went in for the colonoscopy, I had to pretty much entrust my life (at least temporarily) to several people I didn't even know. I had to trust that they were capable of doing what they were about to do and that they'd have my best interests at heart. I also needed to have someone there with me for the procedure so that when it was all done they could drive me home. The good news is that the place where I had the colonoscopy was very professional. They seemed to really know what they were doing. They were all extremely nice and seemed to be very accustomed to helping people like me through this process. They knew exactly how to make it as painless as possible for me (yay!). The other good news is that I had the wonderful blessing and companionship of my life partner, Ellen, there with me, praying for me throughout the whole experience (thanks, sweetie!). Praise God for that! I couldn't have done it without her!
So, what's the spiritual lesson here? We all are going to need to trust others for help once in awhile. We should not try to do everything independently, all by ourselves. Improved spiritual health frequently requires others who are highly skilled at helping people, coming alongside us for awhile to do what we really can't do for ourselves. But, we need to make sure they are people we can trust first. Once that trust has been established, then we need to let those professionals (pastors, counselors, church leaders, etc.) do what they are highly trained to do. It also helps a great deal to have a trusted partner alongside you in the process of spiritual health discovery and healing. They can give you perspective and help you when the professionals are done with their part. It really takes a team effort to improve your spiritual health. That's why local church fellowship and having other Christ followers in our life is so important.
Yes, there are a lot of spiritual lessons from a colonoscopy. Actually, there are a lot of spiritual lessons in other places in our daily lives, too. But, you have to be looking for them to discover them...
Through the whole process of scheduling it, anticipating it, preparing for it, and then actually going through it, I discovered that there are several spiritual lessons from a colonoscopy. So, what follows is my attempt to let you all in on what I learned from this not-so-pleasant medical procedure.
First, I learned that sometimes it's best to just do it! My family practice doctor had advised me during the past five years to get a colonoscopy. Only recently did I decide to do it. My doctor had my best health interests in mind when recommending this procedure. He wanted me to discover if there was something crappy (pun intended) in my body that could lead to unwanted health troubles. Our medical profession has universally determined that on or around your 50th birthday is the ideal time to get your first colonoscopy. I was about five years late.
So, what's the spiritual lesson here? Well, how often has someone with authority in your life (a parent, a pastor, a mentor, an older brother or sister, etc.) suggested that it's time to take care of something really important in your spiritual life and you have chosen to ignore them (even though you might suspect they are probably right)? How often has someone you admire advised you to do something so that you can avoid unwanted problems later in life, but you chose to completely disregard what they've said (at least for awhile)? Sometimes it's best to just do it. Listen to that authority in your life and do what they are telling you to do, knowing that they really do have your best interests at heart.
Second, I learned that it takes a great amount of concentration to completely clean out stuff that gets in the way of improved health. Before I could have a colonoscopy, I had to put my normal routine aside and get prepared for it. It's just not possible to make a spur-of-the-moment decision to have a colonscopy. There is quite a regimen to go through approximately 12-16 hours ahead of the actual procedure. Some might even call it drastic! But, medical experts have determined this to be the best way of getting accurate results and save them from a lot of mess (ew!) while doing the procedure.
So, what's the spiritual lesson here? If you really want to know what is going on in your spiritual life, you just can't discover that without concentrating on it for awhile, taking time to clean out stuff that has built up inside of you over time. For improved spiritual health, it requires both a good amount of time and focused concentration. You may even need to do something drastic (like a complete TV/media/cell phone fast and/or immersion into good reading material for a time). Don't fool yourself into thinking that improved spiritual health will happen without a lot of time and concentration. It won't.
Third, I learned that I needed to allow myself to trust others, as well as partner with someone through the process. When I went in for the colonoscopy, I had to pretty much entrust my life (at least temporarily) to several people I didn't even know. I had to trust that they were capable of doing what they were about to do and that they'd have my best interests at heart. I also needed to have someone there with me for the procedure so that when it was all done they could drive me home. The good news is that the place where I had the colonoscopy was very professional. They seemed to really know what they were doing. They were all extremely nice and seemed to be very accustomed to helping people like me through this process. They knew exactly how to make it as painless as possible for me (yay!). The other good news is that I had the wonderful blessing and companionship of my life partner, Ellen, there with me, praying for me throughout the whole experience (thanks, sweetie!). Praise God for that! I couldn't have done it without her!
So, what's the spiritual lesson here? We all are going to need to trust others for help once in awhile. We should not try to do everything independently, all by ourselves. Improved spiritual health frequently requires others who are highly skilled at helping people, coming alongside us for awhile to do what we really can't do for ourselves. But, we need to make sure they are people we can trust first. Once that trust has been established, then we need to let those professionals (pastors, counselors, church leaders, etc.) do what they are highly trained to do. It also helps a great deal to have a trusted partner alongside you in the process of spiritual health discovery and healing. They can give you perspective and help you when the professionals are done with their part. It really takes a team effort to improve your spiritual health. That's why local church fellowship and having other Christ followers in our life is so important.
Yes, there are a lot of spiritual lessons from a colonoscopy. Actually, there are a lot of spiritual lessons in other places in our daily lives, too. But, you have to be looking for them to discover them...
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