The Chatterbox Cafe

This past Friday night, my wife Ellen and I had the relatively rare occasion (for us) of having dinner out - just my sweet bride and me! Our son Nathan was preoccuppied elsewhere, and it was a great opportunity for us to catch up with each other before heading into the weekend. We went to Papayas, a local family restaurant in our neighborhood that we had been to a couple of times, but not for quite awhile. We had a coupon for a discount (which we didn't end up using after all, but it got us in the door!). Anyway, while we were there, my mind went back to my childhood and the Chatterbox Cafe.

I grew up in rural Iowa, but very close to a little town near the center of the state called Radcliffe. And, Radcliffe had one restaurant - the Chatterbox Cafe. It was where most everyone in that small town (and the surrounding area where I lived) went for breakfast, morning coffee, lunch at noon, and then again for afternoon coffee. People also met their families there for lunch on Sundays after church. It was a very popular place - a place to see and to be seen at. I loved the Chatterbox Cafe.

We all need a place like the Chatterbox Cafe. Why? Because we all need other people. Even though we think we can be independent and isolated from each other (and we may even try to get away with doing that for awhile), we really can't. I am convinced that if you don't interact with other people and/or authentically share your life with someone, you die. God made us for relationship. We are wired for it. The Chatterbox Cafe was where people saw each other, interacted with each other, shared their lives with each other, and developed life long relationships. At various times you might find the same four or five people sitting there talking with each other three or four times a day, every day, 5 days a week, and for maybe twenty or thirty years straight! Being the city/suburban dweller that I am today, I think that might kind of drive me absolutely crazy! But, in small town America, this is how you thrive. On people. You know others, and you make yourself known to others by this daily routine. It's really pretty amazing.

Maybe that's why Starbucks became so popular several years ago. Maybe Starbucks was the more sophisticated, 21st century version of the Chatterbox Cafe?

One thing is for certain, people still need each other, and people can't live independent and/or isolated from each other for very long. If we do, we get sick, we get tired, we get cranky and oftentimes terribly out-of-sorts. We also miss the grand opportunities available to us to know and love other human beings traveling down similar paths, maybe with a different set of circumstances.

Tomorrow, make sure you find your own place to call the Chatterbox Cafe. For some it may be a coffee shop, for others it may be a school or a church. For still others, it may be something as simple as the break room at your place of employment. No matter where it is, get involved in other people's lives and enrich your own life in so doing. Find out about others by spending time with them and investing in their existence (and they in yours).

We'll go back to Papayas again. It was a wholesome and very authentic place. People loved being there together, allowing their lives to completely overlap. It was all very much like the Chatterbox Cafe.

A Series of Fortunate Events

We watched an unusual and funny movie about a week ago based on a book by Lemony Snicket entitled "A Series of Unfortunate Events." In it Jim Carrey plays a very strange character named Count Olaf (plus several other peculiar cameo roles; basically Count Olaf in multiple disguises). It's kind of a weird movie, but pretty funny. I'm not a huge fan of Carrey, but he's really brilliant in his performance for this movie. Simply amazing! Anyway, the main characters of the book/movie (the three Baudelaire children) seem to have one unfortunate event after another happen to them (largely thanks to the evil nemesis, Count Olaf).

As I was thinking about what to write on this blog during my breakfast this morning and while reading a great book by Richard Stearns entitled The Hole in Our Gospel (given to me by some very dear friends), the thought occurred to me that I should write about a series of fortunate events. I'm incredibly blessed! I've literally had one fortunate event after another happen to me most of my life - all glory to God for His abundant grace!

God has been attempting to radically change my heart the past three plus years concerning my part in meeting the needs of others. He's been continually showing me a lot of need, and then prompting me to see all of the ways He has blessed me so that I can help meet those needs. It's no longer enough to say "I'm incredibly blessed!" What am I doing with those blessings? Let me describe a series of fortunate events that God is using to give my heart a complete makeover.

It was a knock on our front door from some neighbors we didn't know very well, asking for our help with their pets while they were on vacation. It was watching as our daughter voluntarily ministered to these neighbors after they returned from their vacation. It was what I learned from my wife as she also ministered to these neighbors during the year our daughter lived in Belfast, Northern Ireland (and continues to do so even today). It was my experience of becoming dangerously complacent in life with an attitude of "entitlement" for more, even when absolutely all of my needs had already been met. It was learning at our church about building bridges of compassion to others in our community and then actually doing it through ShareFest and other opportunities the past couple of years. It was starting a new Life Group at our church and being confronted with needs much different than my own, not to mention ones I had sadly closed my eyes to for many years. It was spending a lot of time and money getting actively involved in other people's lives, thanking God for each opportunity to do so and make sacrifices where necessary. It was reading more about the incredible needs around the world and being challenged to do more to assist in missions and outreach. It was hearing about our church's Ethiopia project and feeling more compelled to get involved in what God is doing around the world. It was reading about how difficult it is to survive in Africa due to a lack of life's basics - water, food, shelter, clothing, etc. It was having Scripture speak to me about doing things for "the least of these" at every turn of the page.

I could go on and on about my series of fortunate events. But, suffice it to say that I thank God for all He's teaching me and allowing me to experience while He changes my heart.

How about you? Aren't you incredibly blessed, too? What are YOU doing with those blessings?

Speeding Through Life...

I got a speeding ticket while on a business trip in Omaha the other day. I was clocked at 48 miles per hour in a 25 mile per hour zone! Pretty dumb on my part! Pretty expensive, too ($244)! I was attempting to get a colleague of mine to the airport in a hurry so that he would not miss his flight to Salt Lake City. We were only about a mile or two away from the airport and deeply immersed in our conversation when I got pulled over. It was a shock! I had obviously not been paying any attention to the road and/or the speed limit for that road.

You know, I could probably protest the speeding ticket and try to wiggle my way out of it. It was obviously part of a "speed trap" the Omaha police had set up and it seemed a little unfair for it to be at this particular location. But, the fact of the matter is speeding is speeding. The law is the law. I was going over the posted speed limit so I deserved a ticket. There are many very good reasons for "limits" like this. Sometimes we just need to travel a little bit slower through life.

Earlier in the week when I had been "texting" while I was driving and/or checking e-mails at stop lights, I remember thinking to myself, "I probably shouldn't be doing this. It's probably not safe." What's the hurry anyway? Is it really necessary for me to be handling all of that stuff on the go? I think I'm ready to stop speeding through life...

Why is it that being on the move and always busy seems to be a higher value these days? What are we really accomplishing by traveling so many miles and doing so many things? Is it worth it? Have you (have I) even stopped our busy-ness long enough to think about it? Have you ever taken the time to assess what you are missing by speeding through life?

Since it is Memorial Day weekend, and a lot of us (at least in the USA) will have a day off (a "holiday") tomorrow, here's a list of things for you to consider instituting into your life to try and minimize the negative impacts of speeding through life:

- Take time to sit and think/pray over a good breakfast each morning.
- Slow down on your drive to work and smile at the people in the cars next to you.
- Put up some boundaries for how many hours you'll actually work in any one day.
- Take time to get to know your "neighbors" better (in the next office/cubicle at work, at home, wherever?).
- Compose a hand-written letter to someone special in your life telling them how much you love/admire them.
- Take a walk and really notice the flowers, birds, animals, other people along the way.
- Avoid the internet and social media for a week (or more!) and read a really good book (or two?) instead.
- Plan a vacation at home just to relax and let the time go by.

I'm going to try to take my own advice on this. It will be hard, but speeding through life creates some unintended hardships, too!

A Downside to Being Random

I'll have to admit from the outset of this post that one of my least favorite words these days is random. I also really dislike the concept of being random. My angst for the word and/or the concept is that in today's culture being random is somehow being elevated to a preferred or elite status. It is as though if you aren't random or don't subscribe to being random, somehow that makes you very uncool. I know this may offend some of you out there because you use the word random a lot and/or you admire the concept of being random a great deal. But, let me explain where I'm coming from.

From the dictionary and Wikipedia, being random implies a lack of order, purpose or cause. It can also be described as a casual sense of a lack of predictability. Furthermore, being random suggests making a choice when there is no logical component by which to make that choice.

I believe that there is a huge downside to being random.

When a society begins to reward/admire a lack of order, purpose or cause, we are headed for trouble. Have you ever been in a totally chaotic situation where there was no order, purpose or cause? How did you feel in that situation? For a short time it can appear to be fun. But, if that totally chaotic situation is allowed to persist for the long term, you can get very confused, feel potentially unsafe and experience futility. No wonder a lot people in our society today (especially Millenials?) are increasingly confused, feeling unsafe and living lives of near futility. In my opinion, that's what happens when being random appears to be the ideal for one's life.

When there is a casual sense of (and/or an out-and-out lack of) predictability to our lives, what happens when you bump up against truths that are in fact very predictable and don't change? It causes further confusion and disillusionment among people (again, especially Millenials?). If you have been taught by the system that there are no absolutes and that in fact everything is just random and by chance, it can be very disheartening when you are confronted face-to-face with the realities that some things just are absolute and always will be and aren't going to change just because our pop culture society tells you that being random is the ideal.

When there are no logical reasons for the choices you make, you may make some choices that you will later desparately regret. For example, just because being random is our pop culture's current ideal and considered to be way cool, if you end up making choices based on that kind of a philosophy, you might totally disregard established laws of nature, historical precedent, biological facts, proven science and/or any other well-known truths. And when/if you do, those choices will be really, really wrong and may end up costing you a great deal.

This past week has been an interesting one. Seems like the weeks get more and more interesting all the time. As a society, we appear to be moving at a very rapid pace towards "randomness" and a form of anarchy, which could also be described as lawlessness. I'm concerned about that. And you should be, too.

There is a downside to being random. Think about it.

Trust

Today is Mother's Day. What a wonderful family holiday! Our immediate family (minus the "newlyweds" who were out-of-town and greatly missed!), six of us in all, gathered together for a nice lunch at my daughter's house. We had a fabulous time! We ate together, played a game together and basically enjoyed each other's company for several hours! We celebrated our family and thanked Ellen for being "Mom" (and for doing that vital/significant role so well for so many years!). I feel particularly blessed by the day! It was really, really special to me.

Trust. The strength of a family relies on trust. Fortunately for my family, there appears to be a lot of trust amongst us. I am so grateful to God for that! I also want to personally acknowledge Ellen's part in helping to establish that trust in our family.

When a family is very accepting and loving, then everyone in that family will be more willing to extend trust to others outside their family. Ellen is one of the most accepting and loving people I know, and she has modeled that acceptance and love for me and our children over the years.

Trust is really a relationship of reliance. It is predicting what someone else will do based on what you know to be true about that other person.

Conversely, when acceptance and love is lacking in a family, it might be difficult for members of that family to develop trust with each other and/or among friends/acquaintances away from the family.

Trust is a very sacred and fragile thing. It is extremely hard to regain trust if it is ever lost.

I believe that a family is the basic building block of all societies. One man married (before the eyes of God) to one woman, and if fortunate, blessed with several children. It is so simple really. Families filled with trust make for great neighborhoods, great communities, great cities, great states and a great nation. Families lacking trust lead to enormous problems for neighborhoods, communities, cities, states and nations. If families aren't established as they were intended by God to be established, and if trust is broken between family members, is it any wonder that we have the problems we do in our neighborhoods, communities, cities, states and this nation?

Trust. It's what makes a family work well. Without it, we encounter lots and lots of issues/problems. If you enjoy trust in your family, thank God for it. It is a gift! If you lack trust in your family, do whatever you need to do to re-establish it, and then watch to see how much you will be blessed by doing so.

Happy Mother's Day, Ellen! Thanks for always being so accepting and loving of me and our children. Thanks for working so hard to establish and maintain trust in our immediate family.

Violent Storms and Black Crud

Last night we had some incredibly violent storms roll through the Dallas area. I mean to tell you that these storms (and the accompanying super-charged lightning bolts) were the type that cause you to either think about "running for cover" or even possibly doing so. They were fierce! Fortunately, I'm not aware of anyone in my immediate circle of family or friends who got hurt or experienced life-changing damages to their health or their property (although our 14 year old, Nathan, was out tent camping with a bunch of his friends from church!). I'm sure that many people unknown to me were affected by the violent storms, however. That's the way storms are. Sometimes you get hurt or life changes for you after them, and sometimes you escape their negative impacts completely.

This morning while getting ready to go to church, I noticed that our shower was not draining properly. It was all backed up and the soapy water from my shower was just standing there, not draining away. I told myself that I would have to take care of that problem (if it was still there) when we got home from church. Well, it was wishful thinking on my part to imagine that the clog wouldn't be there when we got home from church (I seem to do that a lot with home projects; that is, ignore them and just hope they go away). The same soapy water was still there when I returned, and it wasn't going anywhere too fast!

The following thoughts immediately popped into my head. "Did the violent storms and torrential downpours last night cause this clog to happen? Did the violent storms wash a bunch of trash/junk into the sewer systems, thereby creating a back-up in our sewage/drain pipes?" It seemed too coincidental to me that the storms and clog occurred nearly simultaneously.

So, I did what every happy homeowner does when you resign yourself to the fact that you have a clogged drain in your house. I got out the trusty ol' plunger and began rapidly pushing it up and down over the drain, hoping that by doing so the clog would be removed and the drain would run freely again. Pretty simple stuff. Clogged drains (and toilets) happen from time to time. It's basic Homeowners 101.

What happened next can only be described as shocking (and maybe even gross!). While plunging the clogged drain covered with the soapy water, more and more black crud got sucked up out of the drain and into our shower after each plunge. As a matter of fact, the harder I plunged, the total quantity of black crud increased greatly, emerging from unknown depths below that clogged drain. Yuck!

So, what's the point of me writing about this? Why would I take the time to tell you all about our gross clogged shower drain? Well, fortunately or unfortunately, God seems to frequently give me spiritual applications to life's common situations. And He chose to give me one for this situation today.

You see, sometimes in all of our lives we can just be going along fine and everything appears to be O.K. on the surface. Then a violent storm hits our life and we may experience some sort of "clog." It could be a major health issue, a sensitive relationship issue, a personal spiritual issue or something else altogether different having to do with family or our jobs, etc. When this happens, we may try to ignore it and hope that the clogged part of our life just goes away. It rarely does. No, it usually takes some really deep plunging to discover what's going on below the surface. And when we do, sometimes a bunch of black crud emerges and it can be gross and embarrassing, not to mention frustrating and humbling. But, it was all that gross stuff below the surface that caused the problem. Until we take the time to get rid of it, our lives really can't get back to normal any time soon. In the long run, it's really worth the delay and trouble to extract the black crud from our lives and get things flowing freely once again.

Tomorrow we call the plumber. He'll bring out his long snake and go after the clog and all the other junk that has built up over time in our sewer lines. Hopefully after he is finished with his work, we'll have a free flowing drain once again and life can get back to normal. Hopefully...

Wanna Get Away?

Southwest Airlines has some of the best advertisements! One of my favorites (and one of the funniest ever) is their Wanna Get Away? campaign. You've probably seen one of these ads and laughed at it yourself. But, in case you haven't, the premise is this. Someone in the ad does something really stupid and/or embarrassing, to which the announcer for the ad acknowledges (along with everyone else watching the ad) that the only thing that person can/should do is get away from that situation. Southwest Airlines just happens to provide a lot of places for you to get away to. It is really an effective campaign (as well as extremely humorous). We've all been there...

Lately I have been thinking a lot about wanting to get away. As a matter of fact, my sweet wife and I did get away last weekend for a wonderful "Weekend to Remember" in Little Rock, Arkansas. It was wonderful! Really wonderful!

But, what is it about a lot of us that we sometimes persistently feel the need to get away? What are we trying to get away from, and why?

Well, just like in the advertisements, sometimes we have done something really stupid and/or embarrassing and we think that getting away is the only answer to our situation. Just pack it up, move out of (or away from) the situation and start all over again. Sometimes it is just too painful and humiliating to stay in that particular situation and deal with the consequences and/or comments people make regarding our stupid and/or embarrassing mistake. Like I said earlier, if we are honest with each other, we've all been there...

Lately I've had the urge/idea to get away from our country. There are so many things going on in the politics/government of this land that I don't agree with and really don't like. I can't begin to tell you how much I don't like some of these things! So, it seems very logical to me to want to get away. But, where am I going to get away to? There have even been urges to get away from our city, our neighborhood, and/or our house. Sometimes it seems like starting all over with a clean slate would solve a lot of problems. But, would it really?

Since I am going to hit the ripe old age of double nickels (55) this September, I have also been giving a lot of thought to getting away from my job/career (and some of the incredible responsibilities that go along with that job/career). How much longer am I supposed to do this anyway? How much longer do I work at this job/career that I've been so fortunate to enjoy for more than 31 years? What's the next thing on the horizon for me from a job/career standpoint? Somedays I really, really enjoy my job/career. And then there are other days when I really want to get away.

Sadly, there are even some days (and I really hate to admit it, but I'm just being painfully honest here) when I want to get away from some of the people and relationships in my life. Maybe it is the people that I work with who don't seem to understand me or who are moving away from me? Or maybe it is some of my friendships that are different now and I am just ready to move on to someone/something new? That is when I scare myself about wanting to get away.

In pondering this subject the last couple of days leading up to writing this blog, I have narrowed it down to the following three things I REALLY want to get away from.

First, I want to get away from being a quitter when it comes to our country, our city, our neighborhood and even our house. What good does quitting do? Would anything get better if I quit? Who is going to turn our country and city and neighborhood around if not me? Why would I even consider abandoning my part in all of this? So what if it requires a lot more work and a lot more hassle and a lot more prayer? I need to hang in there and influence our future in a positive and godly way. That is what I am called to do as a Christ follower.

Second, I want to get away from fantasizing about leaving a terrific job/career (and the responsibilities that go with it). I have been so blessed by my job/career for many years. Until I am called to the next thing, why not be faithful to the situation God currently has me in? There is still a lot more work to be done where I am. Who's going to do that work if I check out and abandon my post? I need to give it my best effort and make a difference where I am until God moves me to that next place, wherever that may be.

Third, I want to get away from a selfishness/self-centeredness that causes me to even think about leaving certain friendships/relationships. I believe that God brings certain people my way for an express purpose, and He put me in this specific family for His kingdom and His purposes. Who am I to even consider abandoning that just because it is at times difficult, uncomfortable, challenging and perhaps even unpleasant? God is sovereign. He knows just where I am and who I am with. He has me here in these relationships and this family for His well-defined purposes. Why not live into those purposes so that He can take me to the next assignments He has planned in advance for me?

What about you? Are there times when you wanna get away, too? In spite of what the Southwest Airlines ads say, just a quick get away to another city/country doesn't solve anything. Sometimes the best thing you can do when you find yourself in a situation where you wanna get away is to look up and ask God, "What are you expecting me to do in the place You have placed me right now?" Following His plan for your life is much more satisfying and long-lasting than a weekend or month long escape from your current situation.