Attention Deficit

For the past thirty plus years or so there's been a lot of talk in the news and media about Attention-Deficit Disorder (ADD). More recently it has even been upgraded to a new term - ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). It is basically a common neurologic disorder that develops in younger children (most often boys) causing them to be easily distracted in school and sometimes unable to pay attention to teachers/adults in certain more structured environments, etc. This is not really something to joke/laugh about or even disregard. It is real. But, I also think it has become kind of the universal diagnosis for a lot of young boys who are just being young boys! But that is not what I am trying to write about here. Attention Deficit is something altogether different.

I remember the times when our children were a lot younger than they are today. Frequently they so much wanted to be with me, and to have me do something with them. Anything! They would persist and persist with the following: "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! Watch me! Do this with me! Help me!" etc. Almost to point of annoyance! (As I think about it now, it would almost be kind of welcome today! Ha.) Anyway, it seemed to occur most frequently on the weekends when I was at home, and usually when I was trying to get a lot of other really important (?) things done. If I chose to ignore them (sorry kids, I did that a few times more than I care to admit), they persisted and maybe even got a little louder in their pleas! Did I say it was annoying? I can't believe that I felt that way now, but I know that I did.

As I got older (and wiser) as a Dad, when our children started off on their quest to grab some of my undivided attention, I started giving it to them sooner rather than later. And you know what? The strangest thing happened. If I gave them five minutes of my time (maybe ten), they were good for awhile and I could go back to what I was doing. Their desire to have my full attention was somewhat allayed just by giving them some attention for a little while. Amazing!

It is not just small children that have Attention Deficit these days. A lot of us do! We so much need/want someone's full attention and we won't give up until we get it (or until they get so annoyed that they walk away from us!). What's worse, if we don't get attention from the first person we "need" it from, we usually transfer that Attention Deficit to the next person (and the next and the next) until we finally get our Attention Deficit taken care of somehow.

Have you ever been around someone with Attention Deficit? Isn't it amazing if you just give them a little bit of personal attention how they soon are satisfied and just leave you alone? But, if you don't ever give them some truly undivided attention, they will mercilessly persist and persist and persist (to the point of being really annoying) until you turn and give them your undivided attention. Just like what used to happen with my kids.

What about you? Do YOU have Attention Deficit? Well if you do, here's something else I've learned through the years. If you take that Attention Deficit and just start investing yourself in other people, it is AMAZING how quickly your own Attention Deficit disipates. Not always, but usually. If I think about the needs of others first, giving them my full attention for awhile, and stop focusing mainly on my needs only, I usually end up in a good place and am not nearly as needy as I once was.

Attention Deficit - it's real. Take care of it. Think about others first.